- From the pilot episode "Doug Bags A Neematoad", as Roger and his gang of cronies are on stakeout, waiting for Doug to complete the titular event:
Roger (whispering): Ha! What a doofus! He actually fell for it!Boomer: Aren't we the doofuses, Roger? After all, we've been waiting since 6 A.M. for him (Doug) to show up.
- In "Doug's Fair Lady", Doug was nervous asking Patti out.
Doug: I was wondering if you would... (looks at the sign Skeeter and Porkchop are holding) go to the fair, stupid?
- "A BOMB IN THE LASAGNA?! GREAT SCOTT!"
- "AAAAUUUUUOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!! MY WRITER'S BLOCK!!!!!!"
- "If you hear anything, call me on the sponge."
- Mr. Bone talking on the phone, and breaks the fourth wall to tell the viewer to mind their own business.
- Porkchop's jawdropping to the floor and him fainting when Roger's cat has kittens. Hell, the first half of the episode (especially the part where Stinky was singing with the other cats while lounging on the garbage cans) was very humorous.
- The ending of "Doug Gets His Ears Lowered", where Roger tries to chase off some squirrels who are laughing at the silly haircut "Fluke" gave him.
- The original pilot "Doug Can't Dance" has some bizarre slapstick happen to Doug, but what's really funny is when it happens to Stinky of all characters!
- Doug trying to seduce his teacher as Smash Adams. "I was just noticing what... large, hair you have!"
Mrs. Wingo: You wrote a paper titled My First Pair Of High Heels?"
- Also from that episode, Doug's premature confession which lead to Mrs. Wingo saying:
- Nearly everything we've seen of Judy's art school, Moody School. In some of its art labs we've seen a guy chopping a car in half with a guillotine, a musician playing a watermelon slice like a violin, two opera singers singing in a room filled with water without oxygen gear, and a guy just floating in the air (and noticed Doug and Porkchop watching him).
- "My love lives under a rock...in Bluffington."
- Doug imagining getting chased by a pot roast when he imagines what the bone he found may've been.
- "In other news, Mr. Bone wears pink underwear."
Doug: I didn't even know you wear pink underwear.
Mr. Bone: I DON'T!!
- Doug's nervous about Judy performing at his school. In a daydream, Judy pulls out Doug's underwear and tosses it onto his head, causing the entire auditorium to erupt in hysterical laughter.
- Doug and Skeeter's (failed) prank call to Judy in "Doug Can't Dig It" is hilarious, especially considering that they did it in Doug's house instead of a place further away.
- In the episode Doug Didn't Do It, Doug is framed by Roger for stealing a trophy from Mr. Bone and as punishment has to polish 305 trophies. While Doug waits in Mr. Bone's office, Roger then sneaks in and proceeds to do some Evil Gloating. Only thing is, he accidentally turns on the school PA and his confession is heard throughout the entire school. And when Mr. Bone angrily bursts into the office to confront him, Roger lets out a high-pitched scream. By the time Roger has just about finished polishing trophies, Mr. Bone has him polish one more, but that final one is a human-sized trophy, which Roger has to polish while listening to Mr. Bone perform his award-winning yodeling gig.
- Mrs. Wingo is reading to the class: "And then, King Ludwig of Bavaria went insane." One of the most out-of-context lines ever.
- The episode in which Roger develops a crush on Judy and climbs up a ladder to re-enact the famous balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet... only to discover he's at the wrong house when Mrs. Dink appears at the window, causing Roger to scream and fall off the ladder.
Mrs. Dink: Nice try, Romeo, but you're about 30 years too late.
- In "Nightmare on Jumbo Street", one of Doug's nightmares involves Porkchop impersonating Jack Nicholson for some reason.
Porkchop: Heeeeeeeeee's Porkchop!!!
- In "Doug Graduates", Mrs. Wingo admonishes Roger on what he wrote in the thank you card, "Roger, "Sayonara, suckers" is two words."
- In the same episode: "Mr. Buttsavitch? Mr. Buttsavitch? Mr. Butt-" (chair turns around to reveal it's Roger sitting in his chair)
- In "Doug's Bum Rap," Doug searches for Chalky in the school's orchestra, which is about to perform Tchaikovsky's famous "1812 Overture." It's best known for its finale, which features the firing of cannons in the percussion section. As Doug stands by, the orchestra begins their rehearsal...and Connie fires an actual cannon that's sitting on stage in the auditorium, prompting Doug to leap into the air and scream.
- Oh, and there's also the part where Doug's first fantasy shows him getting the lowest test grade of negative 60, putting him in the infamous Hall of Losers as "The Stupidest Boy in the World".
- "Roger Klotz's Scream Theater."
- Skeeter "watching TV by candlelight" (complete with commercials) in the blackout episode.
- In "Doug Tips the Scale", Doug has a couple daydreams: In one, people are eating in the Honker Burger but they hear loud footsteps and hightail it out of there. Doug, grossly overweight, goes up to his friends and says, "Hey guys, what's cooking?" In the other, he goes to Beebe's party looking normal weight... until he takes off his T-shirt and he's morbidly obese underneath. He jumps in the pool and empties it.
- "Ride The Hoss!"
- Doug's imagined "romantic talk" to Patti after witnessing Judy on her date with Cassius in "Doug And Patti Sittin' In A Tree."
- Doug's fantasy about Skeeter being a neuroscientist with him as a test subject in "Doug's Brainy Buddy."
- After the two of them get into an argument in which Doug throws a book at him and walks away, he then yells at Skeeter "Just take your super brain and go to college! See if I care!" This is supposed to be in the heat of the moment and showing him upset, yet the animation of his body language makes it funny, since his silly hand waving looks like a combination of Doug cupping the air and the famous "bring it" hand taunt by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
- Doug getting increasingly offended when everyone refers to his journal as a "diary", despite actually calling it that himself in the original pilot!
Doug: Dear toilet paper, it's me, Doug.
- In the same episode, he tries to replace his journal with toilet paper.
- Doug's daydream of fighting Larry the A.V. nerd. Larry huffs and puffs himself to tremendous and bulky size, but Doug looks bored and blocks his punches with his finger.
- In "Doug's Lost Weekend", Doug's daydream that he's homeless because of his addiction to the Spacemunks video game, eventually being thrown out of a game store by the manager.
- In "Doug's New Teacher", Doug's daydream about being a teen criminal who's dragged off to jail.
Phil: Where did we go wrong?!
Theda: If only he could've been like... Roger Klotz! (sobs)
- "Buy More Butter"
- The store owner's obsession with the cow.
- Doug in Judy's play about the digestive system. And then as Puck in her hockey version of "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
- After accidentally getting Roger's cat, Stinky, sick, Doug has an Imagine Spot in which he, with hilarious nonchalance, informs Roger through phone that he killed his cat. Cue a hand merging from the phone to strangulate Doug mid-sentence.
- "Doug's Babysitter": Mrs. Stinson's "According to the Rules" song, which ends with serving Doug and Judy a "dinner made entirely of prunes". Then, when the two begin to bicker with each other, Mrs. Stinson threatens: "Do I have to sing the song again?" Doug and Judy immediately shout: "No!"
- Mr. Bone says to do something PDQ, "whatever that means".