Funny / Doug

  • From the pilot episode "Doug Bags A Neematoad", as Roger and his gang of cronies are on stakeout, waiting for Doug to complete the titular event:
    Roger (whispering): Ha! What a doofus! He actually fell for it!
  • In "Doug's Fair Lady", Doug was nervous asking Patti out.
    Doug: I was wondering if you would... (looks at the sign Skeeter and Porkchop are holding) go to the fair, stupid?
  • "Doug Gets Busted": The Jack Bandit fantasy sequence in which Mrs. Wingo calls on Patti to recite the Second Article of the Constitution, and Patti replies that it states that "The courts shall have the power to punish anyone who covers the science lab in molten lava."
    • This exchange from early in the episode:
    Doug: The reason the lava keeps shooting up into the air is... because I... love you.
    Patti: Huh?
    Doug: ...I mean, above you. The sparks go above you.
    • And later, Doug's "farewell speech" to Patti when he thinks he's going up the river.
  • Mr. Bone talking on the phone, and breaks the fourth wall to tell the viewer to mind their own business.
  • "Doug Throws a Party": Doug's fantasies during the Truth or Dare game are funny in part because they involve characters acting the opposite of the way we'd expect them to act. In one fantasy, Patti badmouths Doug and rants about how terrible their movie date was while appearing on a Love Connection style talk show (with Roger as host). In another, she flees in terror when Doug is dared to kiss her, crashing through a door and leaving an Impact Silhouette of herself while Doug tauntingly chases her ("Pucker up, here I come!"). And in a third, Doug imagines himself in a laboratory strapped to a table while Roger the mad scientist hypnotizes him and forces him to tell the truth about his feelings for Patti in a robotic monotone voice.
    • On the opposite end of the spectrum: Roger's dare is, "I dare you to kiss Patti Mayonnaise!" Doug approaches Patti and kisses her on the lips, which dissolves into a beach scene at sunset, where Doug and Patti re-enact the famous scene in From Here to Eternity, ending with Patti passionately saying, "Oh, Doug!" Yeah, in your dreams, Doug.
    • From the same episode, the ending: Roger dares Doug to take off Connie's hat and expose her bad haircut. Doug refuses, but Roger ends up snatching the hat off anyway. Connie's response is to punch him in the stomach and exclaim, "Why don't you grow up, you big baby?" Roger doubles over in pain and spends the rest of the night sulking on the Funnie's porch.
  • Porkchop's jawdropping to the floor and him fainting when Roger's cat has kittens. Hell, the first half of the episode (especially the part where Stinky was singing with the other cats while lounging on the garbage cans) was very humorous.
  • The ending of "Doug Gets His Ears Lowered", where Roger tries to chase off some squirrels who are laughing at the silly haircut "Fluke" gave him.
  • In "Doug Is Hamburger Boy," it's funny that the only one who recognizes Hamburger Boy as Doug (immediately, and in full costume no less) is Skeeter's baby brother Dale. (Fortunately, since Dale is so little, Skeeter and Patti don't take him seriously.)
  • The original pilot "Doug Can't Dance" has some bizarre slapstick happen to Doug, but what's really funny is when it happens to Stinky of all characters!
  • Doug trying to seduce his teacher as Smash Adams. "I was just noticing what... large, hair you have!"
    • Also from that episode, Doug's premature confession which lead to Mrs. Wingo saying:
    Mrs. Wingo: You wrote a paper titled My First Pair Of High Heels?"
  • Nearly everything we've seen of Judy's art school, Moody School. In some of its art labs we've seen a guy chopping a car in half with a guillotine, a musician playing a watermelon slice like a violin, two opera singers singing in a room filled with water without oxygen gear, and a guy just floating in the air (and noticed Doug and Porkchop watching him).
  • "My love lives under a Bluffington."
  • When Judy is fired as director of the Founder's Day Pageant in "Doug's on Stage" and the kids are forced to go back to the "boring, traditional" way they've done the pageant before. The "boring, traditional" way is nevertheless funny because of the lameness of the dialogue and the wooden way in which the kids deliver their lines. Then there's Doug and Roger having trouble with their horse costume, forcing the curtain to come down and someone to hold up a sign reading "Intermission."
    • And when Judy returns to take back the pageant and let the kids do it their way, there's Roger's rap as the "Pot Roast of Hospitality."
  • Speaking of pot roast, Doug imagining getting chased by a pot roast when he imagines what the bone he found may've been.
  • "Doug's No Dummy": Doug sweats so much backstage out of nerves that he's wringing it out of his shirt into a bucket, which Porkchop subsequently empties into a potted plant - which subsequently dies.
  • "In other news, Mr. Bone wears pink underwear."
  • "Doug Can't Dig It": Doug's nervous about Judy performing at his school.
    Judy: [in Doug's daydream, on stage, playing bongos] My soul... throbs! ... I am... your washing machine! ... Red towel ... Pink underwear! ... [while taking her final bow] ...DOUG LOVES PATTI!!!! [a giant picture of Doug and Patti appears above her hung from the rafters]
    • In the "real world" in the same episode, the musical number Judy and her friends perform while ordering at the Honkerburger.
    Judy: Ketchup, mustard, mayo, lettuce, just return and don't forget us!
  • "Doug's on Stage": Judy's now been tapped to direct the Founder's Day pageant. In a daydream, she pulls out Doug's underwear ("Oh, by the way, Dougie, you left these in the bathroom this morning!") and tosses it onto his head, causing his friends to erupt in hysterical laughter.
  • Doug and Skeeter's (failed) prank call to Judy in "Doug Can't Dig It" is hilarious, especially considering that they did it in Doug's house instead of a place further away.
    • And immediately beforehand, Judy screaming "I HATE YOU!!!" at herself in the mirror as an acting exercise, and then answering the telephone not two seconds later with a cheery, lilting "Hello?"
  • "Doug and the Little Liar": Doug imagines himself as a private investigator questioning Loretta Lequigly about her ability to speak Yakestonesian. He tests her by saying a phrase in the language, and when she replies, "Yes, I'd love to," Doug tells her: "That's funny. You just admitted you drink transmission fluid."
  • In the episode Doug Didn't Do It, Doug is framed by Roger for stealing a trophy from Mr. Bone and as punishment has to polish 305 trophies. While Doug waits in Mr. Bone's office, Roger then sneaks in and proceeds to do some Evil Gloating. Only thing is, he accidentally turns on the school PA and his confession is heard throughout the entire school. And when Mr. Bone angrily bursts into the office to confront him, Roger lets out a high-pitched scream. By the time Roger has just about finished polishing trophies, Mr. Bone has him polish one more, but that final one is a human-sized trophy, which Roger has to polish while listening to Mr. Bone perform his award-winning yodeling gig.
  • Mrs. Wingo is reading to the class: "And then, King Ludwig of Bavaria went insane." One of the most out-of-context lines ever.
  • "Doug's Worst Nightmare": Doug tries to dissuade Roger from pursuing Judy by telling him that her ideal guy is someone like Shakespearean figure skater Derek Derrickson. Instead, Roger decides to take up Shakespeare, resulting in the following mangling of the dialogue from the iconic balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet:
    Roger: What light through yonder window breaks? It is the sun, and Judy is the East! Arise- no, arrrrise [rolling the "r"], fair East, and moon the envious Sun who is already sick and peeling grapes...
    • Later, he climbs up a ladder to re-enact the balcony scene... only to discover he's at the wrong house when Mrs. Dink appears at the window, causing Roger to scream and fall off the ladder.
    Mrs. Dink: Nice try, Romeo, but you're about 30 years too late.
  • In "Nightmare on Jumbo Street", one of Doug's nightmares involves Porkchop impersonating Jack Nicholson after the dog is possessed by the Abnormal.
  • In "Doug Graduates", Mrs. Wingo admonishes Roger on what he wrote in the thank you card, "Roger, "Sayonara, suckers" is two words."
    • In the same episode: "Mr. Buttsavitch? Mr. Buttsavitch? Mr. Butt-" (chair turns around to reveal it's Roger sitting in his chair)
  • In "Doug's Bum Rap," Doug searches for Chalky in the school's orchestra, which is about to perform Tchaikovsky's famous "1812 Overture." It's best known for its finale, which features the firing of cannons in the percussion section. As Doug stands by, the orchestra begins their rehearsal...and Connie fires an actual cannon that's sitting on stage in the auditorium, prompting Doug to leap into the air and scream.
    • Oh, and there's also the part where Doug's first fantasy shows him getting the lowest test grade of negative 60, putting him in the infamous Hall of Losers as "The Stupidest Boy in the World".
  • "Roger Klotz's Scream Theater."
  • Skeeter "watching TV by candlelight" (complete with commercials) in the blackout episode.
  • In "Doug Tips the Scale", Doug has a couple daydreams: In one, people are eating in the Honker Burger but they hear loud footsteps and hightail it out of there. Doug, grossly overweight, goes up to his friends and says, "Hey guys, what's cooking?" In the other, he goes to Beebe's party looking normal weight... until he takes off his T-shirt and he's morbidly obese underneath. He jumps in the pool and empties it.
  • "Ride The Hoss!"
  • Doug's imagined "romantic talk" to Patti after witnessing Judy on her date with Cassius in "Doug And Patti Sittin' In A Tree."
  • Doug's fantasy about Skeeter being a neuroscientist with him as a test subject in "Doug's Brainy Buddy."
    • After the two of them get into an argument in which Doug throws a book at him and walks away, he then yells at Skeeter "Just take your super brain and go to college! See if I care!" This is supposed to be in the heat of the moment and showing him upset, yet the animation of his body language makes it funny, since his silly hand waving looks like a combination of Doug cupping the air and the famous "bring it" hand taunt by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
  • "Doug's Math Problem": Doug, who has just bombed on a math test, sees a school notice for his parents in the mail and instantly imagines the worst about what the consequences might be.
    Phil: Son, you flunked a math test?
    Theda: You're being suspended?
    Phil: They're sending you back three grades?
    Theda: You're being expelled?
    Phil: They're tearing up your permanent record?
    Phil: You're UNDER ARREST?
    • Then there's the "comedy of errors" that results when Doug tries to open the letter before his parents see it - he clips off too big a chunk of the envelope and has to tape it back on; he tries to use a letter opener but slices his finger and bleeds all over the envelope; he tries to use white correction fluid to cover up the blood stains and ends up spilling it; in his panic to get tissues to wipe up that mess, he knocks over his inkwell and creates another mess. Porkchop's reactions add to the humor.
  • Doug getting increasingly offended when everyone refers to his journal as a "diary", despite actually calling it that himself in the original pilot!
    • In the same episode, he tries to replace his journal with toilet paper.
    Doug: Dear toilet paper, it's me, Doug.
  • Doug's daydream of fighting Larry the A.V. nerd. Larry huffs and puffs himself to tremendous and bulky size, but Doug looks bored and blocks his punches with his finger.
  • In "Doug's Lost Weekend", Doug's daydream that he's homeless because of his addiction to the Spacemunks video game, eventually being thrown out of a game store by the manager.
  • In "Doug's New Teacher", Doug's daydream about being a teen criminal who's dragged off to jail.
    Phil: Where did we go wrong?!
    Theda: If only he could've been like... Roger Klotz! (sobs)
  • "Buy More Butter"
    • The store owner's obsession with the cow.
    • Doug in Judy's play about the digestive system. And then as Puck in her hockey version of "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
  • The dental hygiene play shown in flashback in "Doug Can't Dig It." Doug played Toothbrush which was supposed to vanquish Plaque (played by Judy), but Plaque refused to die and ended up chasing Toothbrush around the stage, culminating in the entire set being destroyed.
  • After accidentally getting Roger's cat, Stinky, sick, Doug has an Imagine Spot in which he, with hilarious nonchalance, informs Roger through phone that he killed his cat. Cue a hand merging from the phone to strangulate Doug mid-sentence.
  • "Doug's Babysitter": Mrs. Stinson's "According to the Rules" song, which ends with serving Doug and Judy a "dinner made entirely of prunes". Then, when the two begin to bicker with each other, Mrs. Stinson threatens: "Do I have to sing the song again?" Doug and Judy immediately shout: "No!"
  • Mr. Bone says to do something PDQ, "whatever that means".
  • A meta example: the fact that the 2014 Amazon DVD of the Nickelodeon series is literally called "The Complete Nickelodeon Series." It's as if Nick is saying, "your move, Disney!"
  • In Doug: Oh, Baby," Doug and Judy accidentally lock Dirtbike inside the Dink household. Judy suggests she could dig her way inside, but with a spoon it would take about two decades. Meanwhile, Phil and Theda are on their way home earlier than planned and hope the kids aren't having too much trouble watching the baby. Phil insists they're responsible and levelheaded. Hard cut to Judy frantically trying to dig a hole with said spoon, and she's already managed to dig a foot deep hole.
    • Much later, after setting off the alarm system in the Dink house to get the alarm company to open the front door, Doug and Judy notice most of the neighborhood and the police have shown up. Judy then tries to distract them by singing "America the Beautiful," and she manages to get several people, including one of the officers, to join in.