Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.
Despite what will eventually happen, you'll be happy to know that at least there's something to smile about.
- Morbid as it is, the game's premise itself can be pretty funny: You are a cookie baker who (somehow) gains the ability to alter time and space, destroy the laws of logic and physics, summon Eldritch Grannies, have banks, mines and farms of cookies, and even mutate Santa Claus. All because you clicked a cookie.
- "Moist Cookies", combined with the Granny's... um... "Smirk".
- There are a lot of different types of Grandmas you can get. Some are relatively normal like the default and Farmer Grandmas. Some are silly like Bankers and Miners, and some are just outright absurd like aliens, Grannies made of antimatter or light, Temple priestesses, ones made of pure gold, Grandmas of other Grandmas, Granny-ized rabbits, impossibly lucky Grandmas dressed like elves, and of course, fleshy abominations.
- There are secret, snarky achievements... for cheating. Yes, the game actually mocks you for cheating while rewarding you at the same time.
- Several of the newer, late-game buildings have more self-aware and snarky news ticker headlines:
- Many of the news headlines unlocked after buying a Chancemaker are snarky little Take Thats:News: million-to-one event sees gritty movie reboot turning out better than the original! "We have no idea how this happened", say movie execs.News: strange statistical anomalies continue as weather forecast proves accurate an unprecedented 3 days in a row!
News: neighboring nation somehow elects president with sensible policies in freak accident of random chance! - The Fractal Engine brings us these gems:News: local man "done with Cookie Clicker", finds the constant self-references "grating and on-the-nose".
News: local guru claims "there's a little bit of ourselves in everyone", under investigation for alleged cannibalism.
News: news writer finds herself daydreaming about new career. Or at least a raise. - Given that it's the language Cookie Clicker is written in, it's no surprise the JavaScript Consoles bring several amusing headlines with them:News: nation holds breath as nested ifs about to hatch.
News: coding is hip! More and more teenagers turn to technical fields like programming, ensuring a future robot apocalypse and the doom of all mankind.
News: clueless copywriter forgets to escape a quote, ends news line prematurely; last words reported to be "Huh, why isn - And the Idleverse brings us these:News: is another you living out their dreams in an alternate universe? Probably, you lazy bum!
News: public recoils at the notion of a cosmos made of infinite idle games. "I kinda hoped there'd be more to it", says distraught citizen.
News: comic book writers point to actual multiverse in defense of dubious plot points. "See? I told you it wasn't 'hackneyed and contrived'"!
- Many of the news headlines unlocked after buying a Chancemaker are snarky little Take Thats:
- The fact that the fifth anniversary update's main selling point was a new set of achievements referencing Smash Mouth's "All Star".
- Several upgrades have hilarious flavor text as well.
- Even the narrator doesn't know what the Cosmic Grandmas are/do.A nice thing to... uh... cookies.
- One Antimatter Condenser upgrade teaches you the secrets of string theory. It's used primarily for cookies, with its value in understanding the laws of the universe barely being a footnote.
- The white chocolate cookies have this to say:I know what you'll say. It's just cocoa butter! It's not real chocolate! Oh, please.
- Ladyfingers are "cleaned and sanitized so well, you'd think they're actual biscuits"
- Gingerbread Men will call you out on your cruelty in the flavor text.
- Even the narrator doesn't know what the Cosmic Grandmas are/do.
- One of the news ticker messages mentions that cookie particles have been present in virtually all steel manufactured since cookie production ramped up worldwide.
- The fact that the in-game achievements don't seem to have a hard limit (or, if they do, it's absurdly large), as evident by the achievement you get when you bake 10 sextillion cookies per second, which talks about Nabisco founder Adolphus W. Green. Even better? When the game made the jump to Steam, the developer found out the same applies to Steam's achievements
, so as a result, you get a ridiculously long actual Steam achievement of the same Overly Long Name in-game.There's really no hard limit to how long these achievement names can be and to be quite honest I'm rather curious to see how far we can go. Adolphus W. Green (1844–1917) started as the Principal of the Groton School in 1864. By 1865, he became second assistant librarian at the New York Mercantile Library; from 1867 to 1869, he was promoted to full librarian. From 1869 to 1873, he worked for Evarts, Southmayd & Choate, a law firm co-founded by William M. Evarts, Charles Ferdinand Southmayd and Joseph Hodges Choate. He was admitted to the New York State Bar Association in 1873. Anyway, how's your day been? - As of the Steam release, there is a button that removes a lot of the creepier stuff in the game, especially when it comes to the Grandmapocalypse. Some ways it does this is by giving the Wrinklers googly eyes which makes them both amusing and even more endearing, and the expressions of the Grandmas turn into a hilarious scowl with painted-on angry eyebrows.
- Some of the achievements in this game are very silly—especially those that generally don't follow the game's standard progression.
- There's an achievement for clicking the tiny cookies in the Stats screen. The game even comments that you're clicking the wrong one!
- There's an achievement for baking 10 trillion cookies and getting the subsequent news pop-up... Which means you win a cookie.
- There's an achievement for... selling a grandma. The game chastises you for doing this, both in the achievement itself and in the news, which declares that the player had to downsize so much they sold their own grandma. On the other end of the spectrum, there's an achievement for... clicking the Grandma exclusive to the Christmas season.
- Most people know if you resize the game's window to be short, you can dunk the cookie in the milk for an achievement. If you resize the window to be very slim, however, the poor news ticker begins to cry for help over the cramped space. And then you can click it for an achievement.
- There's a shadow achievement for naming yourself Orteil. The funny part isn't that—it's how the game punishes you for doing so unless you're actually Orteil himself; and how the game punishes you even harder if you misspell it as "Ortiel".
- The Fanciful dairy selection is a curious Heavenly Upgrade that only really exists for customization purposes, but it still slips in a joke; among its strange flavors are some sparkly milks, flame-pattern milks, a bloody milk, zebra milk, and Soy milk.
- In the interest of making the Steam Workshop not barren at launch, Orteil made a "mod" of his own that replaces the zebra milk with none other than Pilk. Funny enough as-is, but the description of the mod is what sells it:Pilk is a nutritious beverage born of the union of milk and a carbonated soft drink.
May you find repentance in your wiser days.
- In the interest of making the Steam Workshop not barren at launch, Orteil made a "mod" of his own that replaces the zebra milk with none other than Pilk. Funny enough as-is, but the description of the mod is what sells it
