Funny / Class of '09

Warning: Spoilers are unmarked on these pages. You Have Been Warned.

Class of '09 is a "rejection sim" visual novel that is a period piece of the late 2000s. The story's humor resolves around Black Comedy, and not so much Crosses the Line Twice but obliterating the line completely. You will laugh and then feel pretty bad about it afterwards.

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Original Visual Novel

• How Nicole introduces herself to the player in the opening while describing her father's suicide.
  Nicole: My second Christmas killed himself! I walked in.. Floor looked like a whole ass video game just blood everywhere. And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it: "Nicole's fault". I'm Nicole by the way, hi. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HIM!?
• Kylar breaking the photo lab worth thousands of dollars in his attempts to make a viral video. And showing it to Nicole and Principal Lynn. And getting instantly expelled for it. Even Nicole didn't think he'd actually be stupid enough to go through with it.
  Kylar: "Yo, what's up? This is Kylar! Let's break this gay ass photo lab!"
  Nicole: "Oh my god..."
  Kylar: "Fuck photography! It's for people who like animals!"
• How Nicole could get Coach Colby in trouble when he tries to approach her in the girl's locker room after her first gym class.
  Nicole: Aaahh!! The gym teacher's trying to fuck!!
  Coach Colby: (Backs away from Nicole) Honey quite down there, I need this job!
  Nicole: He won't get his hands off this minor ass!!
  (Ari runs into the locker room and gets between Nicole and Coach Colby)
  Ari: Oh my god what're you doing in the girls locker room!? Were you really grabbing some minor ass?
  Nicole: (No longer screaming) Minor as in "underage", I think my ass is pretty major to be honest.
  Coach Colby: I've been at this school for 15 years, no one'll believe you!
  Ari: The security cameras will.
  Coach Colby: I knew installing those spy ca-- security cameras would screw me over!
• The White Nationalist routes in the original are probably the most famous gags in the entire series, purely because of how openly they cross the line again and again while making fun of people being stupid enough to fall into racism:
  • The whole storyline can end in one of two ways. You either help build a chlorine bomb that can level an entire food court with Mr. White, who then sends it to a Puerto Rican rights bingo night, and the other route includes recording a video of Jeffrey, Crispin, and Braxton chanting "White Pride Worldwide!" before uploading it to the Nation of Islam forums and getting Minister Farrakhan to have the entire school burnt to the ground.
  • But by far the best part about the White Nationalist routes has to go to evil Jecka, who becomes a lieutenant in the cult under Mr. White and proceeds to jump straight into the group's activities with aplomb. There's something just gut-bustingly hilarious about Jecka calling Jeffery a 'fucking race traitor,' having him executed, and then complaining about the medals her group got for executing Jeffery being closer to shirt pins. A close second has to be what Jeffery says when he decides to go on a date Nicole rather than support the cause;
  Jeffery: "Sorry Jecka, but I kinda just did this cause no one else would talk to me. But now that Nicole's asking me out, well, having a girlfriend's way more important than the final solution."
• The climax of the Kylar route has him go up to the school roof and get everyone's attention so the school can witness him attempt to stick a perfect landing so he can impress Nicole enough to become her boyfriend. Nicole can either choose to stop him or egg him on. Either way, Kylar will jump - either to spite Nicole or to convince everyone he actually can - and mangle his body so much he ends up dying about twenty minutes after the paramedics arrive. the fact Nicole is unbothered by the fact she made someone literally commit suicide is what makes this whole thing terrible but hilarious at the same time - as is the fact Nicole can then choose to rob Kylar's house to get all his percocet afterwards. And if Nicole chooses to just go to school the following day, she finds that none of the other students actually care that Kylar is dead, with the guys only avoiding her because they think she has some supernatural power to make guys kill themselves, and the girls eagerly asking Nicole how she got a guy who barely knew her to jump for her in the first place.
  • It's even better if the player chooses to have Nicole tell Kylar he has no chance with her, which prompts him to jump anyways out of spite, as Nicole quotes Urkel from Family Matters after his body hits the floor.
    Nicole: "What was that 90's TV show, (replicating Urkel's voice) did I do that?"
    Megan: "I'm traumatized right now but that was actually pretty good."

The Re-Up

• Officer Tomar engaging in some hilariously over-the-top Police Brutality over a stolen $12.99 CD. And then suddenly losing his mind over how Jecka reminds of his wife that he wants to kill.
  Nicole: (Makes a run for it) Come on!!
  Jecka: What?! But—
  Mall Cop: (Runs after Nicole and ignores Jecka) We have a runner! Freeze!!
  (The Mall Cop shoots at Nicole off-screen)
  Jecka: Ahhh what the fuck!!
  Nicole: (shot in the leg off-screen) Ugh- Ahh! God dammit!
  Jecka: (Runs towards Nicole and the Mall Cop) Oh my god, oh my god, no!
  Nicole: (Lying on the ground with an injured leg) He actually fucking shot me! What the fuck is wrong with you!?
  Mall Cop: Maybe now you'll think twice about breaking the law.
  Jecka: You shot five bullets so she'll think twice next time??
  Mall Cop: Yeah it could've been less but I fired with my eyes closed. Little inside-challenge at the precinct.
  Jecka: What!? Are you actually fucking insane!?
  Mall Cop: Y'know you remind of my wife a bit. I wanna fucking kill my wife!!
  Jecka: Oh my god— what!?
  Mall Cop: Shut your mouth before I blow your fucking brains out on the tiled floor!!
  Jecka: (sobbing) No! No! Please don't I'm sorry!
  Mall Cop: (back to his calm voice) Now that's more like it! I'll call you girls an ambulance, one sec.
• "You're white, Nicole! You didn't have to do anything! What I know is that we live in cul-de-sacs and you don't have to sell crack when you live in a cul-de-sac!"
• In what is one of the best examples of the game crossing the line twice, Karen screaming "I'M SORRY, DANIEL RADCLIFFE!!" as she vomits into the toilet after Nicole and Jecka bully her into relapsing into bulimia.
• Nicole attempts to screw over Ms. Ames and expose her racism by writing a report on rap music by plagiarizing Mein Kampf, but replacing any mention of "Jews" with "Rappers" or "Hip-Hop Artists". And Ames seems to like it enough to read it out loud for a crowd of people who gathered to the school, including quite a few Jewish deli workers. At first, nobody seems to suspect a thing. That is until Ames begins reading out mentions of Zionism without a hint of hesitation or suspicion. Apparently Nicole either forgot to replace that word in her report, didn't know what it meant or didn't expect Ames to proudly ramble about antisemitic conspiracy theories before a massive crowd. Cue everyone, Nicole included, sloooowly backing away from Ames.
• In theater class, Nicole can choose to do Group Improv and get paired with Crispin to play a scenario of a couple in 1949. Nicole being Nicole, she runs absolutely wild with her improv.
  Crispin: Hey wife, something on your mind?
  Nicole: Yeah uh, there's something I've been wanting to say lately.
  Crispin: Oh what's that?
  Nicole: The N-word.
  Crispin: Wh-why would you wanna say that?
  Nicole: It's 1949 isn't it? Don't we usually say the N-word?
  Crispin: Oh maybe yeah
  Nicole: The N-word is probably my favorite thing to scream out in public with no repercussions. 1949's a great year, for us anyway.
  • To add to the hilarity of Nicole pushing the boundaries of improv, she calls over Megan for Crispin saying "no" to one of her questions, breaking Megan's imposed rules on improv. The reason why Crispin is saying no in the improv? Nicole was asking Crispin if he wanted to join the 1949 KKK initiation.
• Science class can open up at the tail end of Mr. Burleday telling the class why he wasn't that bothered by his wife killing herself. The reason it's hilarious is because he bluntly issues it like an official class announcement. And to add to the hilarity, he gets annoyed at Jeffery for asking what the science lab is going to be about because apparently no one bothered to ask why Mr. Burleday's wife committed suicide. And then in one of the following classes, Burleday apparently makes Jeffery draw a picture of his dead wife for some reason.
• Nicole's "SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GO AWAY!" to Jeffery after Jeffery nearly gets in the way of her attempt to seduce Hunter to kick off her revenge scheme against Megan. Considering her usual preference of just constantly heaping measured acerbic insults onto him, Nicole cutting straight to the point out of nowhere for once is jarringly hilarious. Jeffery's completely deflated "Oh..." afterwards as he scoots away just completes the joke. As a cherry on top, Elsie Lovelock slips into her Meggy voice in the process.
• This Verbal Backspace from Nicole during the Reject Ari route when discussing with Principle Lynn how to go about resolving the accusation of Nicole being homophobic for her brutal rejection of Ari.
  Principal Lynn: I believe the best course of action is writing Ari a formal apology letter—
  Nicole: Fuck that shit! Do you even know how I got involved with this bitch!?
  Principal Lynn: Language.
  Nicole: Do you even know how I got involved with this ho!?
  Principal Lynn: Slightly better.
• In the expulsion route, Nicole can try to make some money by working a Soul-Sucking Retail Job at the FYE. Unfortunately, Nicole fails completely at her job since her first customer happens to be Jeffery. This results in a pretty hilarious lecture from the store's manager, Kelly, on customer service:
  Nicole: Okay I get a redo, that was a psycho customer!
  Kelly: Sure he was a little off but you can't just insult the customers like that! You saw how I handled him.
  Nicole: Yeah but you didn't see the other weird shit about his breast milk fetish.
  Kelly: Nicole, we're in the business of sales. If the customer says he has a breast milk fetish you tell that bitch to drink up.
  Nicole: That's insane!
  Kelly: That's customer service.
• If Nicole and Jecka try to skip class by hiding in the girl's bathroom, Jecka will complain that the bathroom is the worst place to stay in because every girl skips class by using the bathroom. Nicole doubts Jecka's claim only to be Instantly Proven Wrong when Emily, Kelly, Megan, and Ari enter the bathroom shortly afterwards. Even funnier is that with the exception of Karen, this would mean all the major female students are now hiding in the bathroom, so Jecka wasn't exaggerating when she said everybody.
• After Nicole's first day at the Straight Club, wherein every member but her collectively agrees to burn down Ari's house, she goes to Jecka for help in trying to warn Ari and get her out of there to avoid getting blamed for it herself. Jecka cuts in with some common sense, though it's immediately rebuked for obvious reasons.
  Jecka: Okay okay I get it! ...Except for one little detail.
  Nicole: What?!
  Jecka: Why the fuck did you come here!? Call the police!!
  • As revealed in the text message you get after completing the route, Nicole did, in fact, call the police. She was charged twenty-five cents and given an hour wait time for them to respond.
• In one scene with Emily in Nicole's room, she lashes out supposedly to Nicole, but then explains it is to "voices" that is telling Emily she's wrong about something. Given the scene is of Emily trying to rope Nicole into a suicide pact, Nicole lets out a hilarious line if taken out-of-context.
  Nicole: The psychiatrists may disagree, but have you considered listening to the voices in your head?
• It's absolutely Black Comedy, but in the 'Suicide Pact' route's ending, the still provided shows Emily, dead on the floor. This would be a terrifying, heartwrenching message about the importance of medications to help with mental health issues... if not for the absolutely goofy face Emily's making.

The Anime

• The first animated short gives us the most memed joke in the series so far.
  Nicole: She has McDonald's! Emily, where'd you get McDonalds?
  Emily: (Beat) ...McDonald's.
  Nicole: (Holds out her hand) Bitch, give me a fry!
  Emily: (Pulls her french fries away from Nicole) Is that how you ask!?
  Nicole: (Moves her hand closer to Emily) Bitch, please give me a fry!
  • The ''please" apparently worked as Emily feeds Nicole one of her fries as she is talking to Jecka.
• The animation short set-up is Nicole and Jecka ruminating over losing a bet. Whatever the bet was involved a girl stealing a hot dog roller.