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Deadpan Snarker: Live-Action Film


  • Margo in All About Eve. "Fasten your seatbelts, everybody, it's going to be a bumpy night!" Addison perhaps even more so. Come on, he has "wit" in his last name!
  • In A Man for All Seasons, title character Sir Thomas More gets in some zingers:
    WOLSEY: The King wants a son- what are you going to do about it?
    MORE: (dry) I'm very sure the King needs no advice from me on what to do about it.
  • Alan has several lines in American Dreamer, until he gets shot at. Then he has Large Ham moments in frustration.
  • Arsenic and Old Lace: The evil brother and his sidekick have a wonderfully snarky discussion after the brother learns his aunts have killed more people then he has.
  • Hobson, Arthur's nanny, from the remake of Arthur. The original Hobson (played by John Gielgud) as well, more so (about every second line that comes out of his mouth is snark).
    Hobson: Thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
    Gloria: Hi.
    Hobson: Yes . . . You obviously have a wonderful economy wih words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.
    • Arthur himself in the original has his moments:
    Perry's wife: (screaming) MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN!
    Arthur: I'm sure he does, madam. For all I know, he shot it while you screamed.
  • Harold from The Boys in the Band.
  • The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian
    • Peter Dinklage as Trumpkin fulfills this role beautifully, pointing out just how ridiculously most of the other characters are behaving, and generally saying what audience members are thinking.
      • Lucy angrily tells her siblings to 'Stop talking like grown-ups!'
      Trumpkin: "I am a grown-up."
    • High King Peter has a moment of his own when Caspian expresses shock at the ancient kings and queens youth.
      "We could go away and come back again in a few years."
    • Skandar Keynes as Edmund has traits of this, as well.
    • Reepicheep has one awesome moment of snark.
    Pattertwig: We can collect nuts!
    Reepicheep: Yes! And throw them at the Telmarines! glares at Pattertwig Shut up!
    • Reepicheep also has this:
    Soldier: You...are a mouse!
    Reepicheep: You people are so unoriginal.
    • He follows it up with "Yes, I know. I am a mouse" to someone else.
    • Susan has her moments herself.
  • Clerks - Randal Graves is this mixed with a generous helping of Jerkass. His cousin, Brodie in Mallrats is the same way.
  • The Dark Knight has Lucius Fox, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Lau, and The Joker.
    Bruce Wayne: I need a new suit.
    Lucius Fox: Yeah, three buttons is a little '90's, Mr. Wayne.
    Bruce Wayne: I'm not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function.
    Lucius Fox: [Looks at diagram] You want to be able to turn your head.
    Bruce Wayne: Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.
    • An example for Alfred...
    Bruce: You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?
    Alfred: [Glances back at the sunbathing Russian women.] You could tell me the Russian for, "apply your own bloody suntan lotion."
    • An example for Joker...
    Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
    The Joker: Yeah.
    • An example for Lau...
    Lucius Fox: ... I've come to explain to you why we're going to have to put our deal on hold. We can't afford to be seen to do business with, well, whatever it is you're accused of being. A businessman of your stature will understand.
    Lau: I think, Mr. Fox, that a simple phone call might have sufficed.
    Lucius Fox: Well, I do love Chinese food. And Mr. Wayne didn't want you to think we'd been deliberately wasting your time.
    Lau: Just accidentally wasting it.
  • The Dark Knight Rises gives this to a lot of the main characters, especially Selina Kyle and Bane.
    • When Bane attacks the stock exchange:
    Trader: This a stock exchange! There's no money you can steal!
    Bane: Really? Then why are you people here?
    • Some of Bane's lines during both of his fights with Batman fall into this.
    Batman: [to Selina] You've made a serious mistake.
    Bane: Not as serious as yours, I'm afraid. [Batman turns to face Bane]
    Batman: Bane.
    Bane: Let's not stand on ceremony here.... Mr. Wayne.
    • When Selina meets Stryver at the bar:
    Philip Stryver: [examining the print slide] Very nice.
    Selina Kyle: Mmm-hmmm. Not so fast, handsome. You got something for me?
    Philip Stryver: Oh, yes. [He signals to one of his guys, who locks the front doors. Selina smiles, nervously]
    Selina Kyle: I don't know what you're planning to do with Mr. Wayne's prints, but, I'm guessing you'll need his thumb. You don't count so good, huh?
    Philip Stryver: I count fine. [A thug cocks and puts his pistol to Selina's head] In fact, I'm counting to ten, right now.
    • When Bruce is dancing with Selina:
    Bruce Wayne: You wouldn't want any of these folks realizing you're a crook, not a social climber.
    Selina Kyle: You think I care what anyone in this room thinks of me?
    Bruce Wayne: I doubt you care what anyone in any room thinks of you.
    Selina Kyle: Don't condescend, Mr. Wayne. You don't know a thing about me.
    Bruce Wayne: Well, Selina Kyle, I know you came here from your walk-up in Old Town, a modest place for a master jewel thief. Which means that either you're saving for retirement, or you're in deep with the wrong people. [beat]
    Selina Kyle: You don't get to judge me just because you were born in the master bedroom of Wayne Manor.
    Bruce Wayne: Actually, I was born in the Regency Room.
    • Selina's confrontation with Daggett, where she is coolly offended by Daggett calling her a "dumb bitch".
  • Olive in Easy A is definitely this. She seems to get it from her mother. As is Woodchuck Todd (her crush). And Mr. Griffith takes this trope Up to Eleven.
    Brandon: "Do you wanna go out with me?"
    (beat)
    Olive: "Brandon. You're a nice guy and all but... you're... not... "muh type"."
    Brandon: "Yeah, you're not my type either."
    Olive: "I know! I have a V where you'd rather see a P."
    Brandon: "Olive please..."
    Olive: "Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were kinsey 6 gay."
    Brandon: "You said I should pretend to be straight."
    Olive: "Yeah but not with me."
    Brandon: "I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling."
    Olive: "You are on crack! And not the good kind."
  • Elvira in Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is quite the deadpan snarker.
    Cop: "Do you know you were doing fifty in a twenty five miles per hour zone?"
    Elvira: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it."
  • Elysium: Max to an extent. Considering what he's dealt with over his life and what comes next, anyone would be. Mouthing off to robots isn't too smart, though.
  • The cast of Fifty/Fifty, but especially Sam French and especially Jake Wyer.
  • In Finding Neverland, Charles Frohman (the producer and financier of James M. Barrie's plays) spends most of his limited time on-screen being the deadpan, snarking, sensible Foil to the more animated, optimistic, and erratic Barrie.
  • Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump. Well, look at who plays him.
  • Deconstructed in Funny People; George and the other comedians are certainly very quick-witted, snarky and quick with a cutting comment, but it's made fairly clear that they use wit as a substitute for actually forging meaningful connections with other people, and the often hurtful nature of their comments doesn't help either.
  • Enid in Ghost World.
  • General Joseph Colton from G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
  • In Godzilla (2014), before Ford leaves for Japan to bail out his father, Elle is trying to tell him that Joe is a good man who just needs some help after he lost everything the day Janjira turned into a nuclear hotspot. Ford responds he lost everything too but got over it leading Elle to respond, "Well I can see that."
  • Sinbad in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad. For example, when Haroun's father says Allah will smile upon Sinbad for taking on lazy Haroun, Sinbad quips, "More likely he will laugh in my face."
  • Phil Conners from Groundhog Day starts out as one, but Character Development leaves him more empathic as the film goes on.
  • In the movie-musical Hairspray, Penny Pingleton gets in a good one. When Motormouth Maybelle recognizes that her son has fallen in love with a white girl, she warns the two lovers, "You're gonna have to deal with a whole lotta ugly from a never-ending parade of stupid." Penny answers, "Oh, so you met my mom."
  • Mullins and Ashburn from The Heat.
    • Also Tatiana and most of the drug traffickers.
    • And the albino guy, but with more snark and less deadpan.
  • Hedwig from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
  • Hellboy's father, Trevor Bruttenholm, seemed this way at times. Searching for Nazis on a "deserted" island, he's told, "There's nothing on this island but rocks and sheep." When they find the Nazis, he looks at the officer in charge: "They must be here for the sheep." That must be where HB himself got his snark from.
  • Marvin from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. If not for his programmed personality, he would be pretty badass.
  • Eames in Inception is fond of this trope. As for that matter is Arthur. Usually at each other. A good bit of the fandom sees this as a sign of something else between the men.
  • Quite a few characters from Indiana Jones, most notable among them being Jones himself and his father. It helps that in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Jones Sr. is played by Sean Connery.
    (secret door takes them from burning building to Nazi headquarters)
    Henry Jones Sr.: Our situation has not improved.
  • Naturally, Iron Man has its titular armored hero, which then gets taken to the next level in The Avengers, and even moreso in Iron Man 3. Said film is even directed by the already-mentioned Shane Black.
  • Elmont from Jack the Giant Slayer. He is played by Ewan McGregor.
  • Juno is the quintessential example, though the whole movie is rife with it.
  • Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park.
    Ian: Now eventually you might have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello? Yes?
    Hammond: (watching on camera feed) I really hate that man.
    • Later:
    Ian: (After surviving being knocked down by a T-rex) Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend...
    Ian: (after being chased by a T. rex) Do you think they'll have that on the tour?
  • Most of the characters in The Kid 2000 have their moments, but Russ' Sassy Secretary Janet takes the cake.
  • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which was also written by Shane Black.
    Perry: WHO TAUGHT YOU MATHS ?
  • Waldo Lydecker from the classic murder mystery Laura. "You fail to understand that you're interrupting something far more important than your career. My lunch."
  • Everyone in Lake Placid. Especially Betty White.
  • Shane Black's The Last Boy Scout:
    Mike: It just happened Joe.
    Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, I know, it just happened, it could happen to anybody... It was an accident right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife : "Oops I'm so sorry Mrs H, I guess this just isn't my week".
  • Hawkeye from The Last of the Mohicans.
    Heyward: There is a war going on! How is it that you are heading west?!
    Hawkeye: Well we kinda face north and then, real sudden like, turn left.
  • Darly in Leaving Normal. On walking into Marienne's nephew's room: "Oh my god. This room has "Please, God, don't make my son a fag" written all over it."
  • Snow, in Lockout exists pretty much purely to deliver deadpan oneliners. The first scene in the movie:
    Langral: Again, what happened in that hotel room?
    Snow: Oh, it was coupon night and I was trampolining your wife.
    [Snow is punched in the face]
    Langral: You're a real comedian aren't you, Snow?
    Snow: Well I guess that's why they call it the punch line.
    [Snow is punched again]
    Langral: You don't like me, do you?
    Snow: Don't flatter yourself. I don't like anybody.
    Langral: With that attitude, I can see why nobody likes you.
    Snow: Oh, come on. People love me. Just ask your wife.
    [Snow is punched again]
    • Guy Pearce's role, the Bad Ass Snake Plisskin Expy seems to be a formidable master of Snark-Fu.
      Interrogator: "Who was the man?"
      Snow: "His name was Fuk-Yoo." smirk "He was Asian."
  • Eve Arden in Mildred Pierce. And pretty much any other role she had.
  • Mortal Kombat has its fair share of snark.
    Johnny Cage
    "Liu, I hate this place. I'm telling you, I hate it. I'm in a hostile environment, I'm completely unprepared, and I'm surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass. It's like being back in high school!"
    • Raiden:
    "The fate of billions will depend upon you. Heh heh heh heh! ...sorry."
    Walking away after telling Johnny and Sonya which of their fears will trip them up
    Liu: Wait! What about me?
    Raiden: Oh, you.
  • James Norrington in Pirates of the Caribbean:
    Norrington: Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the remainder of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave.' Do I make myself clear?
    Jack: Inescapably.
  • Both Nick and Roy in R.I.P.D. , and given their line of work, it comes to no surprise.
  • Grave-Robber has some moments of this in Repo! The Genetic Opera.
  • Alan Arkin as Peevy in The Rocketeer, who speaks with understated dryness.
  • Riff-Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, especially in the takeover scene:
    Dr. Frank: I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home!
    Magenta: How sentimental.
    Riff-Raff: Yes... and also presumptuous of you. You see... when I said 'we' were to return to Transylvania... I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see... you are to remain here... in spirit anyway.
  • Ed in Rubin And Ed. This is partly just his natural personality and partly a defense mechanism he created to cope with his various insecurities and his Dark and Troubled Past
  • Both Wallace Wells and Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. To a lesser extent, Ramona.
  • Scrooge 1970: The Spirit of Christmas Present, of all people. Not in the book and not in most adaptations, but in the 1970 musical Scrooge he has a ton of deadpan gems. For instance, when Scrooge says he would like to look into the window of the Cratchitt house the Spirit, inviting him by indicating with his hand, says, "It will cost you nothing—which I feel sure will be good news for you." Scrooge asks if the Cratchitts will be able to see him. The Spirit replies, "No...which I feel sure will be good news for them."
    • Scrooge himself in the 1984 film.
  • Mr. Palmer from the 1995 Sense and Sensibility. He's a minor character, but he makes the most of it by Deadpan Snarking up a storm.
    Mrs. Palmer: (talking to someone else) If only he'd gone to Combe Magna. We live but half a mile away.
    Mr. Palmer: Five and a half.
    Mrs. Palmer: I cannot believe it is that far. I can't believe it.
    Mr. Palmer: Try.
  • Various characters in Serenity, notably Mal and Jayne.
    The Operative: Are you willing to die for your beliefs?
    Mal: I am.... [draws and fires, forcing the Operative to take cover] 'Course, that ain't exactly plan A.
  • Klaus has this role in The Movie of A Series of Unfortunate Events.
    • Sunny too, on occasion, made all the funnier in that she speaks all in baby talk, with the meaning given in subtitles.
  • Almost all of the main characters of Sin City.
  • Magenta from Sky High. She even dryly sings the aforementioned "Rudolph the Red Noise Reindeer" line to tease Zack. And Warren Peace.
  • Alex Hughes from Snow Cake. Vivienne even calls him out on it, calling him 'Mr. Sarcastic'. Alex is played by Alan Rickman.
  • In Star Trek 2009, Captain Kirk fills this role for all its hammy worth. Bones McCoy also gets a few one-liners in to boot. Bones was always a Deadpan Snarker. It's one reason for his fanbase.
  • Star Wars:
    • Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi Knight and Master of Snark
      • From Episode I, after the Trade Delegation try to kill the Jedi before even meeting them, he quips on the run. "You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short."
      • In Episode II, he muses in a dogfight, "This is why I hate flying." And when Anakin sarcastically says "Excuse me" and jumps out of a moving speeder, Obi-Wan calmly says, "I hate it when he does that."
      • Also, in the arena:
      Anakin: We relayed your message just like you requested, Master. Then we decided to come and rescue you.
      Obi-Wan: (glancing at his handcuffs and chain) Good job.
      • And later (also in the arena) when Anakin is worried about Padmé, Obi-Wan draws his attention to the fact that she's freed herself and has climbed to the top of her pillar: "She seems to be on top of things."
      • In Episode III, when the Invisible Hand begins to fragment: "Not to worry, we are still flying half a ship." And when they finally crash-land, "Another happy landing."
      • Later, after he takes out General Grievous with precision blaster-fire Obi-Wan discards the blaster simply saying "So uncivilized." (This is a reference to his earlier (later?) line in Episode IV about the lightsaber being "elegant weapon, of a more civilized age" and being "not as clumsy or random as a blaster" and it is made even funnier in the book. He spends a moment thinking of the absolute worst word in his vocabulary, a real crusher. "Uncivilized" is what he came up with.
      • Earlier in the fight with Grievous (in the novelization):
      Grievous: I was trained by Count Dooku himself.
      Obi-Wan: Funny. I trained the man who killed him.
      • Age does not wither his snark nor the years condemn. In Episode IV, when Luke tells "Ben" Kenobi that his uncle says that Obi-Wan is dead, the Cool Old Guy assures him, "Oh, he's not dead." Then he takes a quick look at his desolate surroundings and adds, "Not yet."
      • In the novelizations, even his internal narration is snarky:
      (while clinging to a flying assassin robot hundreds of miles above Coruscant) This is not the best idea I ever had.
    • Anakin Skywalker in Revenge of the Sith. When Obi-Wan points out the inadvisability of trying to clear pesky droids off his fighter's wing by shooting at them: "I agree, bad idea." (And then he does it. Although he does blow half of the fighter wing off in the process.) When asked if he can fly the Invisible Hand as it's falling toward Coruscant's surface: "Under the circumstances I'd say the ability to fly this thing is irrelevant." (And then he does it.)
      • His snark is even worse in the novelization of Revenge of the Sith, especially when he's killing the Separatist leaders:
      Rune Haako: We surrender! Please - you're a Jedi!.
      Anakin: You fought a war to destroy the Jedi. Congratulations on your success.
      Nute Gunray: You can't! Lord Sidious promised we'd be left in peace.
      Anakin: The transmission was garbled. He promised you'd be left in pieces.
      Shu Mai: We were promised a reward, a handsome reward...
      Anakin: I am your reward; you don't find me handsome?
      • And, like Obi-Wan, the version of Anakin in the Clone Wars animated series is even snarkier.
      • Anakin may have "Taken a Level in Snark" after he became Darth Vader with a healthy dose of menace thrown in. The classic example would probably be his "I find your lack of faith disturbing" from Episode IV.
    • Failing hyperdrive + Princess Leia = instant snark. Actually, a lot more situations than that. Apparently, she gets it from her father.
    • Han Solo, whose snarkiness is most present in The Empire Strikes Back:
      (the ground of the asteroid they just landed on shakes violently)
      C-3PO: Sir, its quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable.
      Han: Not entirely stable? Well I'm glad you're here to tell us these things. Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.
      (the ground shakes again; Leia falls and Han catches her)
      Leia: Let go please.
      Han: Don't get excited!
      Leia: Captain being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
      Han: Sorry sweetheart... We don't got time for anything else.
      • In A New Hope
      [Luke gets shot by the remote.]
      Han Solo: [laughs] Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
      Luke Skywalker: You don't believe in the Force, do you?
      Han Solo: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls MY destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
      Ben Kenobi: [gets up and takes a blast helmet] I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. [puts the helmet on Luke, which covers his eyes]
      Luke Skywalker: But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?
      Ben Kenobi: Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. [Watches Luke succeed in blocking the lasers]
      Han Solo: I call it luck.
      Ben Kenobi: In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.
      • In Episode IV (after he shoots Greedo), "Sorry about the mess," and (after he shoots a communications device) "Boring conversation anyway." Another gem from Han Solo in Episode VI, on the way to the Sarlacc's Pit while he was half-blind:
      Luke Skywalker: There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.
      Han Solo: You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.
      Luke: Just stick close to Chewie and Lando. I've taken care of everything.
      Han: Oh. Great.
    • C-3PO is something of a snarker in A New Hope.
      C-3PO: Just you reconsider playing that message for him!
      (R2 beeps a question)
      C-3PO: No, I don't think he likes you at all.
      (R2 beeps again)
      C-3PO: No, I don't like you either.
      ...
      C-3PO: I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with you. I don't know what all this trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault.
    • You could probably even include R2D2 on this list. While C-3PO is the only one who knows exactly what he's saying in that odd binary language of his, the viewers can get a pretty clear idea (through his partner's translations and reactions) and he can seem somewhat sarcastic at times.
  • Thirteen Days: Margaret, the White House operator.
    Commander Ecker: Commander Ecker
    Margaret: Commander Ecker , this is the White House Operator. Please hold...
    Commander Ecker: Shit.
    Margaret: Honey, you don't know what shit is.
  • Thor
    Clint: Do you want me to take him down or would you rather send in more guys for him to beat up?
    Clint: You better call it Coulson, cause I'm starting to root for this guy.
    • Then, in The Avengers, "Clint" turns out to be Hawkeye and joins a whole Team of Snarkers.
    • Loki, who seems to become snarkier with each film.
    (In a casual tone of voice) "It's good to have you back. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim."
    • Sif, who mostly snarks good-naturedly at her friends.
  • Bobby Boucher in The Waterboy, though it isn't immediately apparent behind his squeaky voice and speech impediment.
    (Bobby reads a note from the Suggestion Box that says "Eat sh** and die!")
    Bobby: ...Not exactly what I'd call constructive criticism...

    (Bobby's mother is deliberately embarrassing him in front of his new girlfriend at dinner)
    Bobby: Excuse me ladies, while I go kill myself.

    (Meaney, a huge defensive end, is called in as a running back in an attempt to neutralize Bobby)
    Meaney: Your ass is mine! WHOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOO!
    Bobby: You sound like a big choo-choo train.
  • Applies to David, Rose, and Casey in We're the Millers.
  • Boris Yellnikoff from Whatever Works.
  • Willy Wonka, as portrayed by Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, has elements of this character. The most notable is whenever someone demands he "do something"; his response is a monotone: "Help. Police. Murder."
  • Barrister Sir Wilfred in Witness for the Prosecution.
  • Andy Knightley and Sam Chamberlain from The World's End.
  • Bromhead in Zulu, very much so.
    Chard: Don't worry, Miss Witt. The Army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day.
    Bromhead: Looks bad in the newspapers and upsets civilians at their breakfasts.

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