Creator / Scott Keith
Scott Keith is a Canadian
writer and reviewer of wrestling
events. He is most well-known (and often hated
) for his snarky
style of match reviews as well as his star rating system.
Scott's content can be found in the following places:
"Scott's TROPES OF DOOM!":
- Broke the Rating Scale: Normally, he rates matches from DUD to Five Stars. The inversion of this, when matches are REALLY bad, is from -1 star to -5 stars. When things get REALLY, REALLY bad, he breaks out the Hot Pokers Up The Ass system, where he symbolically inserts said objects up the ass of whoever he deems responsible. (See Hoist by His Own Petard below.)
- In his review of WCW Bash at the Beach 99, there were three matches (Dean Malenko-David Flair, the Junkyard Invitational Battle Royal, and the "boxing" match between "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Buff Bagwell) that he refused to rate.
- There's also his more ubiquitous "I don't rate battle royales." (Except for the Royal Rumble, of course).
- Canada, Eh?: Born, raised, and resides in Canada.
- Caustic Critic: Earlier works, yes. However, in most of his newer reviews (and his 2011-13 Scott Says blurbs on older reviews), he has mellowed out dramatically. When doing his 2012 Scott Says rant re-repostings, he often calls himself out or makes fun of himself for being so volatile back then.
- Dan Browned: If he's mentioned at a "real" wrestling news site (ie, the Observer and the Torch), it's to point out how full of shit he is. His first two books are chock-full of bad "history", all presented as undisputed truth. We're talking about the guy who routinely claimed that Raven and Paul Heyman were gay, that WCW "hid" payroll expenses by signing big names to contracts with Turner Broadcasting directly (Hogan yes, everyone else no), and constantly repeated mid-90s RSPW rumours as fact until many just assumed they were true.
- Deadpan Snarker: And HOW!
- Doomy Dooms of Doom: Pioneered the concept of adding "OF DOOM!" when listing moves that he finds particularly ridiculous. The most over-the-top example would be Hulk Hogan having the "STINKY, WART-INFESTED, GIANT-KILLING LEGDROP OF DOOM!"
- Fan Nickname/Accidental Misnaming: Almost always negative.
- Orange Goblin (Hulk Hogan)
- Pig Slow (Big Show)
- Sgt. Slobber (Sgt Slaughter)
- Triple HGH/HHHH (Triple H (Espcially in 2002 when Triple H was really bulked up.))
- Toad Pettingzoo/Toad Pedophile (Todd Pettingill)
- Five Moves of Doom: The Trope Namer in reference to Bret Hart.
- Hero-Worshipper: Of Chris Benoit until his tragic end.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: From his NSFW review of XPW Baptized In Blood 2, for which he employed the Hot Pokers Up The Ass system, in describing the Vic Grimes vs. Kraq match.
"Kraq, another one of those high-concept characters, is a militant Black Panther type who has a male transvestite valet named Angel. See, the implication is that Angel enjoys pleasuring Kraq, so the fans can then chant "You suck dick for Kraq" at him and pretend they're actually witty. As a note, when you need setup lines from the promoter, youíre not actually witty. Grimes gets a pair of elbows to start, and a legdrop, and Kraq gets sent into a bed of nails and falls onto Angel. Homophobic HILARITY follows. Five hot pokers up [promoter Rob] Black's ass for resorting to cheap anal penetration humor. Um crap, that doesn't make me look very good. See, irony is only funny until it happens to you. Okay, so scratch that, anal penetration humor is actually funny and very witty. Yeah, that's the ticket. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."
- Jerkass Has a Point: Pretty much any time he makes a good point, since they're usually applied with a sledgehammer.
- Lampshade Hanging: His apologizing for jokes that didn't work. An example, from the Doom (Ron Simmons and Butch Reed) vs. the New Wild Samoans (Fatu [Rikishi] and the Samoan Savage [The Tonga Kid/Islander Tama]) match in his review of NWA Starrcade 89:
"Anyhow, the match is mercifully clipped down to about 30 seconds, just long enough for me to make a joke Iíve been dying to work in somewhere since Fatu's repackaging: The Savage plays Rikishi Morton
. Ahem. Well, it SOUNDED funny when I was doing the rough draft in my notebook."
- No Indoor Voice: A written, snarky example. Whenever something stupid is supposed to be exciting, Keith will describe it in all-caps.
- Overly Long Gag: Once stopped in mid-review of a boring match to tell the (made-up) history of the fast-forward button. This ended up being over a page's worth of text.
- Another example would be his fictional recap of the century-long history of the WWF Hardcore Title which traced the belt-which was actually created in 1998-back to the glory of days of Frank Gotch and George Hackenschmidt.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Try asking him for his autograph and watch him treat the occasion with the solemnity usually reserved for events such as Abraham Lincoln penning the Emancipation Proclamation.
- He's even acknowledged this trait, going so far as to refer to Rob Van Dam as "the only person more self-centered than me."
- Smart Mark: He even goes by the nickname "The SmarK."
- Take That:
- Vince Russo is another favourite of his; he'll at least acknowledge Hogan's good matches, but he went so far as to compare Russo to a Special Olympian.
- Two compliments, both from Tonight...In This Very Ring. He first complimented Russo's policy of giving all wrestlers established characters, not just the upper-carders. He also praised Russo for creating the "backstage segment," thus giving the illusion that fans were seeing the wrestlers as real people. But otherwise, yeah, Russo has been the butt of many jokes.
- Tonight In This Very Ring: The title of one of his books.