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While the comic does feature numerous characters, these are some of the most notable.
The Kingdom of Hiltshire
Bread Knight
Bread Knight
He is gathering equipment for his quest to defeat the Demon King.- Idiot Hero: For some reason, he tries to get weapons and armor from a bakery and a post office, respectively. The fact that he ends up with a bread sword and paper armor doesn't seem to bother him at all.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: He tells the Demon King about the many adventures that he had before reaching him. The Demon King finds the story so interesting that it overpowers the effect of the Boredsword and dislodges it from his heart.
- Visual Pun: His new armor is made of envelopes. "Mail" armor, geddit?
King Hilton
King Alexcalibur Scabbardi Hilton
The founder and king of Hiltshire. He has been hosting annual Swor'naments in order to obtain the five godswords.- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: His name contains "Excalibur", which was the legendary sword of King Arthur, as well as "scabbard" and "hilt".
- Captain Obvious: When he taught his daughter to fight with a sword, his advice was "Just stab your enemy before they stab you!"
Joyeuse
Princess Joyeuse Hilton
Daughter of King Hilton, and wielder of the godsword Bograk's Hook.- Action Girl: She was trained in swordsmanship from a young age, and won second place in the XXVth Swor'nament.
- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: Joyeuse was the legendary sword of Charlemagne.
- Eyes Always Shut: How she is drawn. Her eyes were visible in her first appearance before Art Evolution happened.
- Meaningful Name: Her name means "joyous", and she is indeed a cheerful young lady. This being a sword-based webcomic, her name is also based on a sword
that was, according to legend, wielded by Charlemagne. - Royals Who Actually Do Something: After the Demon King rises to power, she personally tracks him down and uses the Boredsword to seal him away before returning to the Swor'nament.
- Youthful Freckles: She had freckles as a child, but lost them as she grew up.
Smith the Blacksmith
Smith the Blacksmith
A kindhearted man who can talk to swords. He is the wielder of the godsword Baltad's Blade.- The Blacksmith: Crafting swords is somewhat of an obsession for him. Unfortunately, it leaves little room for anything else in his life, which is why Harpe eventually breaks up with him.
- The Chosen One: He is the one to pull Baltad's Blade from its stone, succeeding where King Hilton many years ago had failed.
- Hot Skitty-on-Wailord Action: He loves swords so much that he was able to have a child with one... somehow. The result was a half-human, half-sword creature called a Merblade.
Lake Monster
Lake Monster
A monster that lives in Tang Lake. She guards the godsword Greg's Vane and devours anyone who tries to take it from her.- Expy: She is obviously based on the Lady of the Lake, appearing as an arm in a lake holding a magical sword that makes its wielder a king. Unlike the Lady of the Lake, however, this creature eats those who try to accept her offer.
Bright Knight and Night Knight
Bright Knight and Night Knight
Bright Knight is a paladin, while Night Knight is a dark knight. After they fall in love with one another, they decide to lay down their weapons and start a new life together in Hiltshire. Their swords can be found resting in the Badlands to this day.- Retired Badass: Both knights were famous heroes in their respective kingdoms, but decided to quit for each others' sake. Their lives in Hiltshire seem relatively peaceful, and during the Swor'nament Bright Knight claims it's been years since he last wielded a sword.
The Badlands
Xiphos
Xiphos the Barbarian King
King of the barbarians, and wielder of the godsword Kargob's Fang.- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: A xiphos is a shortsword that was popular in ancient Greece.
- Body Surf: His soul travels from one sword to another seemingly by accident. When Chad is stabbed into his zombie form, his soul latches onto Chad. Then, when Chad is stabbed into the Demon of Boundless Hunger, his soul latches onto the Demon. Things get worse from there.
- Cool Helmet: Xiphos and his fellow barbarians wear horned greathelms with six eyeslits, representing their belief in Kargob having six eyes.
- Good Parents: He may be a ruthless barbarian king, but he also loves and supports his daughter, Harpe.
- Last-Second Word Swap: Twice so far.
- When he enters the Swor'nament in disguise.Xiphos: I am Xiphos! The bar...tender.
- When he prepares to kill King Hilton, but realizes Joyeuse is there.Xiphos: Excuse me, everyone; I still have to go slay the ki... eeeerr... wi. That darn big bird someone left outside. Hah.
- When he enters the Swor'nament in disguise.
- Our Zombies Are Different: After his death, his spirit is bound to a soulsword and his body becomes a zombie. He has some control over his zombie's actions, but only when his soul is kept close to it. Zombies separated from their soul will tirelessly wander around searching for it.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: His disguise as "Xiphos the Bartender" has him put on a shirt, pants, and gloves, but his signature barbarian helmet is still clearly visible.
- Royals Who Actually Do Something: When he realizes his war against Hiltshire isn't going anywhere, he infiltrates the enemy kingdom and tries to assassinate King Hilton personally.
Harpe
Harpe the Lake Knight
Daughter of Xiphos. Despite coming from a family of barbarians, her dream is to become a knight.- Action Girl: She is a barbarian princess who will not hesitate to beat the tar out of her enemies.
- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: A harpe is a mythological sword with a hook on its blade. Bograk's Hook is a harpe sword, but Harpe herself never gets to wield it.
- BFS: For her quest to find the stolen Greg's Vane, the Lake Monster gifts her with the monstrously large Overgnome Sword. Although the sword is too large to fit inside a typical house, she brings it along.
- Good Old Fisticuffs: She didn't have a sword when she began her career as a knight, but she still managed to slay a Sword Hydra by punching it to death. In a later battle, she could have used both the Overgnome Sword and Greg's Vane to defeat the Demon of Relentless Omens, but she ignored them both in favor of punching and groinshotting the Demon into submission. She even managed to enter the Swor'nament without an actual sword, after being blessed by the Lake Monster.
- Screaming Warrior: Barbarian screams aren't just intimidating, but useful for defending against sound-based attacks, as Silvertongue found out.
Swor'nament Competitors
Chad
Chad the Bastard Sword
Half sworc, half merblade, all sword.- Living Weapon: He's only half-sword, but he managed to inherit the sharpest features of both of his parents.
- Parental Abandonment: One day, Chad's parents went on a quest and never returned.
- Uneven Hybrid: He is 25% human, 25% orc, and 50% sword.
Mere
Mere
A warrior from the hidden land of White Cloud. She travels with a giant kiwi bird named Chips.- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: A mere is a flat club used by Maori warriors. Mere's weapon is also a mere.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: She is fairly muscular, keeps her hair tied up, and wears a cloak with no shirt underneath. Chad was convinced Mere was a dude until she hugged him.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: She entered the Swor'nament because she wanted to prove her strength to her father, King Hoari.
Ōdachi
Ōdachi the Samurai
A warrior from the land of Katana, and wielder of the godsword Argok's Edge.- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: An ōdachi is a long sword of Japanese origin.
- No One Could Survive That!: The Demon King leaves Ōdachi for dead after impaling him and taking his godsword. The following day, when the demon sees Ōdachi standing again, he laments that he needs to get better at killing people.
Glaive
Glaive the Adventurer
Leader of her own adventuring party. Her village burned down or something.- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: A glaive is a European polearm with a curved blade.
Rapier Tapir
Rapier Tapir
A tapir that wields a rapier. He was trained by the Falchion Falcon.- Cutlass Between the Teeth: He wields a sword in his mouth, probably because he doesn't have hands.
- The Dreaded: Rapier Tapir has won Swor'naments in the past, so his appearance at the XXVth Swor'nament is enough to deter most people from participating. Even Xiphos finds him intimidating.
- Master Swordsman: He is skilled enough with a sword to win two Swor'naments in a row.
- Royal Rapier: He obviously wields a rapier, but it is unknown how "royal" he is until he defeats Joyeuse and becomes the king of Hiltshire.
- The Unintelligible: He communicates only by making "wrrh!" noises. He can talk normally when he doesn't have a sword hilt in his mouth.
- The Worf Effect: Future Sharp Sharpley is revealed to come from a timeline where Rapier Tapir has been curb-stomped by the Demon King.
Prince Sheath
Prince Sheath of Paladium
One of the princes of the paladin kingdom. His death motivates the King of Drakness to launch an attack against Paladium.- Ludicrous Gibs: As soon as he steps into the arena, he explodes in a shower of blood courtesy of Xiphos and his godsword.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: He dies so quickly that the announcer doesn't even have time to introduce him.
The Godrealm
Kargob
Kargob
The god of darkness, the creator of the universe, and the coolest of all gods.- The Gods Must Be Lazy: After creating the universe and sealing the demon swords away, Kargob seems to spend most of his time reading books instead of paying attention to mortals. In fact, the only reason Xiphos is Kargob's champion is because Kargob accidentally dropped his godsword into the Badlands.Turns out to be deliberate on his part, as unlike the other gods he wants mortals to choose their own destiny rather than following prophecies.
Demon Swords
Demon of Boundless Hunger
Demon of Boundless Hunger
The Demon King. He is considered one of the weakest demon swords, and constantly seeks to increase his power.- Big Bad: His quest to absorb the five godswords and become a god is what fuels the plot.
- Body Surf: If his current form is destroyed, he can become powerful again simply by possessing someone else. He has already gone through the bodies of an unnamed goblin and Prince Parry Hilton, and is currently possessing the zombified body of Xiphos.
- Let's Meet the Meat: In order to possess somebody, he must convince them to eat his flesh.
Demon of Sacred Oaths
Demon of Sacred Oaths
The mother of all magic. When a sword is engraved with a rune, she imbues that sword with some of her magic.- Disabled Deity: She used to have eight eyes, but one of her eyes got stabbed by Kargob during the creation of the universe.
- Rage Breaking Point: Being forced to provide magic to every Smartsword in the war between paladins and dark knights leaves her exhausted. When a paladin commands his Smartsword to insult his opponent, she finally snaps, rips a hole in reality, and gives them a piece of her mind.
- Runic Magic: A magic rune engraved on a sword is treated as a contract for the demon's magic. The mass production of Smartswords (which contain hundreds of runes apiece) has left her terribly overworked.
Mysterious Guardians
Travel Goblin
Travel Goblin
A demigod in the shape of a masked goblin, once tasked with keeping the Demon of Boundless Hunger in his prison. Since the Demon's escape, the Travel Goblin has been wandering the Enchanted Forest and bestowing magical swords to any travelers who meet him.- Crazy-Prepared: Want to stop a demon? Cure a sickness? Get a girlfriend? Travel Goblin has a sword for that.
- Emotion Bomb: When Joyeuse asks for a sword to defeat the Demon King, the Travel Goblin presents her with a Boredsword. She uses this weapon to trap the Demon King in a state of crushing boredom.
- Healing Shiv: His Blade of Healing can stab someone into a previous state. Stab too hard, though, and it can reverse their age.
- No Sense of Direction: The reason he hangs out in the Enchanted Forest for most of the story? He got lost while looking for a way to Hiltshire, which is located right next to the forest, mind you.
Time Travelers
Knife and Shiv
Knife and Shiv
An adventuring couple. After Shiv is accidentally turned into a baby, Knife starts searching for a way to restore her age, and comes across the Longsword of Time.- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: A knife is a handheld cutting tool, which later evolved into the sword. A shiv is an improvised knife-like weapon.
- Foregone Conclusion: Future Shiv is noticeably younger than future Knife, strongly hinting that Knife was never able to restore her age.
- Locked into Strangeness: When Knife uses the Longsword of Time to break Tim out of his loop, she causes a Time Crash that briefly makes her young and old at the same time. Once she's back to normal, she is left with a grey streak in her hair.
Tim the Explorer
Tim the Explorer
An explorer who becomes trapped in a time loop after discovering a Time Knife. He has a brother named Tom the Restorer.- Amnesia Loop: Whenever he grabs the Time Knife, he loops back to two seconds before he grabs the Time Knife. Since the loop also affects his memory, he just grabs the knife again, none the wiser.
- Broken Record: "Wow! It's a Time Knife!" "Wow! It's a Time Knife!" "Wow! It's a Time Knife!"
Dark Knight's Keep
King of Drakness
King of Drakness
The ruler of Dark Knight's Keep. His name is spelled like that because there was a typo in the paperwork.- Evil Overlord: He is at war with the Paladin Kingdom, and has an army of 13 000 soldiers at his command.
- Only Sane Man: He has to put up with the silliness of Sickle and the Edgesmith, whose inventions are often useless if not outright dangerous to the user.
- Tin Tyrant: He is the king of all dark knights, with appropriately wicked-looking armor.
Sickle
Sickle
An eccentric sword inventor. Her workshop, Clayless Industries, is located in Dark Knight's Keep.- The Armorer: She is in charge of developing weapons for the King of Drakness. She's not very good at it.
- Arms and Armor Theme Naming: A sickle is a curved cutting tool used to cut plants.
- BFS: One of her inventions is the Dreihänder, a three-handed sword that is too heavy for one person to lift.
- Female Gaze: Hands a sword of acid to the Bread Knight, which ends up melting off his clothes and exposing his muscular body. From her pleased reaction, it's clear she planned the entire thing.
The Edgesmith
The Edgesmith
A wandering craftsman who makes only the edgiest swords. He is eventually hired to produce weapons for the King of Drakness.- The Armorer: Takes up Sickle's role after the King of Drakness fires her.
- The Blacksmith: Before settling in Dark Knight's Keep, he spent his days traveling around and repairing people's swords.
- Casting a Shadow: He once created a sword of pure darkness. It disappeared when someone held a torch too close to it.
- Chuunibyou: His dark clothes, spiky hair, and obsession with "edgy" things give the impression of one.
The Questwood and the Adventur'r's Tavern
Quest Sprout
Quest Sprout
QWEST!
A tiny woodland creature who is always looking for adventure.
- Ambiguous Gender: The author has used both "they" and "he" pronouns for Quest Sprout, but nothing more specific has been confirmed.
- Companion Cube: Quest Sprout seems to regard their little wooden sword as their best friend. When Sprout goes to sleep, the sword gets its own little blanket.
- Missing Mom: Quest Sprout's mom disappeared mysteriously after saving them from the Demon of Eternal Slumber.
- Pokémon Speak: "Qwest!"
Granny
Granny
A retired adventurer who is now the bartender and questgiver at the Adventur'r's Tavern.- Adventure Guild: Her tavern also serves as a place for adventurers to take quests and earn rewards.
- Parental Substitute: She's been taking care of Quest Sprout after their mom went missing.
Tavern Regulars
Hack, Hash, Langeschwert, and Mincer
Four adventurers who frequent the Adventur'r's Tavern. All of them are good friends of Quest Sprout and willing to help them with anything.- BFS:
- Langeschwert, true to his name, wields an ultra-long longsword. In fact, it is so long that the comic never shows its full length.
- Mincer's tech sword is quite large, while also possessing spinning buzzsaw blades that tear through monster flesh like paper.
- Dark Is Not Evil: Hack is dressed in black spiky leather, is well-versed in dark magic, and worships Kargob, but they're just as friendly as their fellow adventurers.
- Spontaneous Weapon Creation: Hack is able to summon magical flaming swords.
