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Characters / Survival Of The Fittest V 8001 To 050

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    S001: Kaede Tsurumi 
S001: Kaede Tsurumi
Designated Weapon: Box of condoms
Conclusion: You're taking part in a grand tradition, S001. Another version, another worthless wallflower with nothing going for her but looks. - Veronica Rai

    S002: Alex Avanesian 
S002: Alex Harutyun Avanesian
Designated Weapon: Throwing Spear
Conclusion: Guy is obsessed with SOTF but never thought to actually, y'know, workout in case he got grabbed. What a fucking idiot. - Josie Knight

  • Conspiracy Theorist: He's very interested in SOTF conspiracies.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Is confident in his chances of winning because of his knowledge of prior games, regularly tries to show that knowledge off, and even complains about his second victim's poor strategy in their dying moments. But his own strategies are lacking, including trying to steal a weapon with one bullet while outnumbered five-to-one, and trying to kill Kitty Graves - biggest killer in the game at the time - in hopes of stealing her BKA prize. The latter would prove fatal to him before a quarter of the game was up.

    S003: Lara "Spuds" Bullock 
S003: Lara "Spuds" Bullock
Designated Weapon: Hand vacuum
Conclusion: When you see an otherwise promising kid that's strong and smart get that kind of weapon, the only thing I can think to say is "That sucks." - Abby Soto

  • Passionate Sports Girl: Lacrosse is a favored pastime of Lara's and it helped her come out of her social shell.
  • Schedule Fanatic: Lara has a strict schedule that she uses all the time to plan out her day. She even made a schedule for what to do on the class trip before she'd even gotten on the bus.
  • Tom Boy: She's tall, muscular, and she plays hard sports like lacrosse. This label has diminished her self-esteem, as she feels that she isn't feminine enough and that no one would be attracted to her.

    S004: Evie McKown 
S004: Evie Jessica McKown
Designated Weapon: Pair of Walkie-Talkies (24 hours of battery included)
Conclusion: Either your principles go, or you do. With the ego attached to them, I can guess which one it'll... bee. (Ugh.) - Veronica Rai

  • Mercy Kill: Shoots Chloé Delacroix to finish her off quickly after wounding her through a too-hard shove.
  • Take a Third Option: Gets saved by the military on Day 12.

    S005: Tristana "Tana" Rosario Blanco Osuna 
S005: Tristana "Tana" Rosario Blanco Osuna
Designated Weapon: Ulu knife
Conclusion: I have fifty bucks on her hallucinating and thinking she sees the wendigo or some shit. - Josie Knight

  • We Hardly Knew Ye: On the island, anyway. She doesn't even get through her first post before her throat gets cut.

    S006: Soo-mi "Shannon" Choi 
S006: Soo-mi "Shannon" Choi
Designated Weapon: Pickaroon
Conclusion: Well, a pickaroon sounds kind of like something made up? Sort of fun to say, isn't it? Pickaroon, pickaroon. Maybe she can turn that into a meme before her death ends up on a message board. - Abby Soto

  • Tap on the Head: Subverted. Karin Han kills her by hitting her in the head with the battery pack of a drill, and is shocked when she finds out the next day that it killed her.

    S007: Derek Caldwell 
S007: Derek Caldwell
Designated Weapon: Nodachi
Conclusion: Oh, angst and vinyls. Cry me a river, Holden. Embrace the shitty mall ninja you're obviously destined to be and maybe I'll find you a shred more interesting than the book. - Veronica Rai

  • Accidental Murder: Accidentally stabs Ty Hartley while trying to help her fend off Daenerys Todd.
  • Fingore: Loses his index and middle finger on one hand, and much of his ring finger, when Donovan shoots him.

    S008: Ellis Wheaton 
S008: Ellis Wheaton
Designated Weapon: Vintage clacker balls toy
Conclusion: I thought we had seen some sad kids before now but geez, this loser takes the crown. This is a mercy killing. - Josie Knight

  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Delivers a long, blistering one to his family through the cameras, outing all their dirty laundry and washing his hands of them, and making sure they know just how terrible they are and how much he despised them.

    S009: Trinity Ashmore 
S009: Trinity Ellen Ashmore
Designated Weapon: Sasumata
Conclusion: Someone who can't play nice with others and has control issues? Playing you a song on the world's tiniest violin or as we say in Spanish, violín. - Abby Soto

  • Conspiracy Theorist: Develops the theory that the terrorists are only lying about the murders, and that no-one is murdering each other at all.

    S010: Marshall West 
S010: Marshall West
Designated Weapon: Gas mask
Conclusion: You know that old gag about someone shouting so loud it triggers an avalanche? S10 had better hope nature takes care of him before his classmates get sick of his shit. - Veronica Rai

  • Fingore: His ring and little finger on one hand are mangled by Demarcus Miller shooting at him.
  • No Indoor Voice: Even his text messages are stuck in all caps.
  • Stepford Smiler: Has an unnervingly wide smile, which was initially genuine but becomes more stepford as the game wears on him.
  • Take a Third Option: Gets saved by the military on Day 12.

    S011: Danielle Bird 
S011: Danielle "Dani" Bird
Designated Weapon: Pair of friendship bracelets
Conclusion: "Reasonably intelligent". This bitch can't even dress properly for the winter, she's gonna freeze to death. - Josie Knight

    S012: Iris Waite 
S012: Iris Karina Waite
Designated Weapon: Flashbang grenades x3
Conclusion: Iris likes to make sheets with information about her classmates containing notes about them, their hobbies, and relationships. Hmm, maybe she'd like a job here with us. - Abby Soto

    S013: Richard "Big Dick" Buster, Jr. 
S013: Richard "Big Dick" Buster, Jr.
Designated Weapon: Garrucha (double-barrelled .320 pistol)
Conclusion: An annoying fat kid with a big ego, a little gun, and a terrible nickname? This is the comedy gold I like to see. Take it to the finish line, Big Dick. Better yet, die trying. - Veronica Rai


  • Fan Boy: Kid loves basketball, and the Boston Celtics especially.
  • Inferiority Superiority Complex: His swaggering is born out of fear of being seen as uncool, which stems from insecurities over his height and weight.

    S014: Juanita Reid 
S014: Juanita Reid
Designated Weapon: Haladie
Conclusion: Do you know what they say about one-legged girls in murder contests? They fucking die. - Josie Knight

  • Bullfight Boss: Her knee brace makes it hard for her to turn or swerve, and most of her attacks require her to bullrush straight ahead.
  • Cast from Hit Points: Her extremely competitive nature and the rush of physically competing after being sidelined for almost a year allows her to experience an adrenaline rush that blocks out her pain. But when the adrenaline spike passes, she gets walloped by the physical aftereffects of pushing herself too hard.
  • Career-Ending Injury: Snapping her ACL cost her a lacrosse scholarship and ruined her college prospects.
  • D-Cup Distress: Juanita is very busty, which led to her being bullied in middle school, impairs her athletic abilities, and attracts a lot of male attention she doesn't want.
  • Dueling Scar: Her fight with Eden costs her half of her right ear and leaves a large gash across her cheek.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: She has a very small social circle outside of the lacrosse team, but she winds up leading a large faction that becomes responsible for a number of violent attacks.
  • Irony: A flashback shows that before the game she was offered oxycodone to deal with the pain from her leg injury, and turned it down because she didn't want to get addicted. During the game, she comes to rely more and more on the adrenaline high of getting into life-or-death fights to take her pain away, mimicking an addiction.
  • Take a Third Option: Gets saved by the military on Day 12.

    S015: Gwendolyn "Wendy" Kennedy 
S015: Gwendolyn "Wendy" Kennedy
Designated Weapon: Lantern shield
Conclusion: To be honest, I initially thought a lantern shield would have lights on it or something, so this revelation is a bit disappointing. Maybe I'll go back to Google and try looking up some of this art in the name of research. - Abby Soto

    S016: Andrew Lapson 
S016: Andrew Lapson
Designated Weapon: 1x 300 mg Potassium Cyanide pill
Conclusion: I didn't realize people aspired to be burned-out stoners these days. Take the easy way out. It suits you. - Veronica Rai

  • Driven to Suicide: Ultimately makes use of his assigned weapon after falling into a punji pit and being unable to climb out.

    S017: Jessica Romero 
S017: Jessica Romero
Designated Weapon: Camping stove
Conclusion: Perfect, right? Camping stove, girl who likes the outdoors. Don't say we never did anything for you - Abby Soto

    S018: Meena Lalita Kumar 
S018: Meena Lalita Kumar
Designated Weapon: Sawed-off Browning A-5 shotgun
Conclusion: I'm stranded on Death Row for pumpin' slugs in motherfuckers, now you know you're outdone, feel the shotgun, Kurupt inmate cell block one. - Josie Knight

  • Shrinking Violet: Her real life social life is almost non-existent, and most of her friends are online. It doesn't help that she turns out to have an extremely low opinion of most of her classmates, and believes they think of her the same way.

    S019: Robin Valenti 
S019: Robin “Romeo” Francisco Valenti
Designated Weapon: Bowie knife
Conclusion: Well, now I've got the Speed Racer theme song stuck in my head, and I'll be seeing that shirt in my nightmares. Just for that, I wish this asshole a particularly painful death. - Veronica Rai

  • Mercy Kill: He receives one from Kitty after she fatally injures him.

    S020: Cassie Chao 
S020: Cassie Chao
Designated Weapon: Pair of ice skates
Conclusion: Oh come on, we give them all these fun things, this girl could go ice skating on a frozen lake, but no, she's probably just going to curl up in a ball and cry a lot. Why do we even bother? - Josie Knight

    S021: Corbin Azinger 
S021: Corbin Azinger
Designated Weapon: Trident
Conclusion: A religious guy becoming a carpenter is a little predictable, so this should shake things up. Oh, I'm just now finding out that this is trident the sea pointy thing and not Trident the gum. Less minty, but more helpful - Abby Soto

    S022: Marian Dick 
S022: Marian Dick
Designated Weapon: Trident dagger
Conclusion: Didn't we just- oh, no, they are different weapons. Huh. Well, chubby sad-sack church girls are exactly the kind of people who usually end up putting knives like that to good use. - Veronica Rai

    S023: John Davis 
S023: John Milton Davis
Designated Weapon: Parachute knife
Conclusion: John, Johnny, Johnny boy Daves. I have to impart a universal truth to you, from one Alaskan to another. Listen close, this is important. You listening? Good. No one gives a shit about your stupid morals. - Josie Knight

  • Big Brother Mentor: He tries to be this to his brothers, Vincent and Kirk, due to their father dying prior to their move to Massachusetts.
  • Fiery Redhead: Subverted. He's described as having flaming red hair, but his first acts on the island are to help an injured Angelo Lee and offer Zora Morrison his medical supplies.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: He doesn't use swear words, and either uses a less offensive alternative or just doesn't say anything at all.
  • Nice Guy: Assists Angelo Lee and Zora Morrison in his first few moments on the island.

    S024: Victor Grail 
S024: Victor Steven Grail
Designated Weapon: 1 liter bottle of bourbon
Conclusion: Take some shots (bourbon) before you take some shots (bullets). - Abby Soto

  • False Rape Accusation: A variation, in that Karin starts spreading a rumor that Victor is watching the girls sleep while touching himself. Once Victor finds out that Karin was the one who spread it, he's pissed.
  • Insufferable Genius: He's a very skilled athlete, and is quite upfront about it.
  • Jerk Jock: Paired with being an Insufferable Genius - he's an unpleasant person whose abilities command respect, even though his attitude isn't very good.
  • Launcher Move: Lifts up Karin Han and throws her a short distance her lies are uncovered.
  • The Nicknamer: Is so offended by Karin Han's False Rape Accusation that he starts calling her "Thing" and "it."
  • Team Spirit: One of Victor's few virtues. He is a fervent believer in teamwork, even if he is a Jerkass about it.

    S025: Katelyn "Kitty" Graves 
S025: Katelyn "Kitty" Graves
Designated Weapon: Outdoor camping heater
Conclusion: Christ, where to even begin with this one. If you cheat death once and just try to kill yourself later, that says it all. Easy five bucks on first out. - Veronica Rai

  • Accidental Murder: She fatally injures Robin Valenti without intending to.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Life has been kicking this girl for a while. Her early social life was nonexistent, her sister and her frequently got into arguments, and both of her parents were killed in a car accident. That doesn’t even account for the mental health issues, either.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: She goes from shy, insecure outcast to having one of the highest body counts in this version.
  • Mercy Kill: She inflicts one on Robin after fatally injuring him.

    S026: Dawn Montogomery 
S026: Dawn Montogomery
Designated Weapon: 1 oz. of medical grade cannabis and hemp blunt wraps
Conclusion: Hey girl, don't be sad about Anna, you'll get to spend time with her soon. - Josie Knight

  • Life-or-Limb Decision: Makes the choice to cut off Tenshi's arm after the bullet wound gets infected. This results in Tenshi's death.

    S027: Perante Losoa 
S027: Perante Losoa
Designated Weapon: Brass knuckles
Conclusion: This seems like a young person with dexterous and delicate fingers. However, he also works at a. 7/11 and it feels like brawling should be part of the training for that job. We'll see. - Abby Soto

    S028: Billie Sommerfield 
S028: Billie Sommerfield
Designated Weapon: Ice axe
Conclusion: Okay, alright, I think we all know what's going to happen here, no one likes her, she literally can't run away and she has mental health issues. Meals on wheels here is doomed. - Josie Knight

    S029: Mônica “Molly” Oliveira 
S029: Mônica “Molly” Oliveira
Designated Weapon: Zweihander
Conclusion: This is the name of a weapon? I thought maybe that cat in the office walked across the keyboard. Well, maybe this girl will like it since it seems like a sword that would be in a fantasy story. - Abby Soto

  • BFS: Her assigned weapon is a zweihander.

    S030: Chiara Masina 
S030: Chiara Masina
Designated Weapon: Nagant M1895 (7.62mm revolver)
Conclusion: Wait don't worry guys, I know some Italian. Per favore, prova a nuotare, voglio vederti congelare. - Josie Knight

    S031: Abhishek Panicker 
S031: Abhishek Panicker
Designated Weapon: Shuriken x5
Conclusion: Throwing points at people isn't going to work so well in this setting, even if we're giving you sharper points than you're used to - Abby Soto

    S032: Medea Parth 
S032: Medea Parth
Designated Weapon: Cat-o-nine-tails
Conclusion: Wow look at that, you struggle with motivation, your weapon is designed to increase that. Just hand it off to someone and let them go to town, I'm sure you'll be motivated then you fucking loser. - Josie Knight

    S033: Dominiqua Ashmore 
S033: Dominiqua Ashmore
Designated Weapon: Pack of three self-heating field rations (Canadian)
Conclusion: I see she's a fan of the reality television program "Survivor". Well, good news for you. - Abby Soto

    S034: Aion Rhodes 
S034: Aion Rhodes
Designated Weapon: Meat shredder bear claws
Conclusion: Listen twink, you're going to need to watch yourself out here, you may have the bear claws but there are bigger meaner bears than you out in these here woods. - Josie Knight

    S035: Kai Rosado-Prince 
S035: Kai Hector Rosado-Prince
Designated Weapon: Beach towel and umbrella set
Conclusion: OK, the next one on the list is - wait. Are you sure this is right? It is? Well... life's a beach, I guess. - Abby Soto

    S036: Zora Morrison 
S036: Zora Morrison
Designated Weapon: Pool cue
Conclusion: Being smarter than your classmates doesn't matter as much when your brains are being blown out of your head faster than you can run. - Josie Knight

    S037: Steven Dodds 
S037: Steven "EXTREME STEVE" Dodds
Designated Weapon: 1-gallon jug of bleach
Conclusion: I can think of some pretty extreme things to do with that. - Abby Soto

  • Butt-Monkey: He gets stuck in a hole within the first five minutes of the game, and remains there for his extremely short time on the island.
  • Heroic BSoD: Has a momentary one of these upon finding out that his weapon is just a jug of bleach.
  • Large Ham Title: EXTREME STEVE dials this up to eleven and couples it with gratuitous Capitals Are Magic.
  • Memetic Mutation: The only reason he even exists. The character concept was a joke that took on a life of its own until a character was written around it.
  • They Call Me MISTER Tibbs!: Attempted to invoke this at school, but his teachers refused.

    S038: Jessica “Jess” Kawazoe 
S038: Jessica “Jess” Kawazoe
Designated Weapon: MAC-11
Conclusion: Breaking news! DJ JAZZY JESS found dead in the snow! Thought to have been killed for being too fucking annoying!! Wow!!! - Josie Knight

  • Danger — Thin Ice: She wakes up on the island's frozen lake. Sure enough, she falls through. The resulting hypothermia kills her the next day.

    S039: Zhijuan Lung-Romney 
S039: Zhijuan Lung-Romney
Designated Weapon: Butterfly knife
Conclusion: Butterflies are nice Butterfly knife, not as much - Abby Soto

    S040: Tenshi Fukushima-Yves 
S040: Tenshi Marie Anastasie Fukushima-Yves
Designated Weapon: Aztec death whistle
Conclusion: And people say we're not funny. - Josie Knight

  • Life-or-Limb Decision: Though she's not the one making the decision, her arm is cut off in an attempt to save her from infection. She dies of blood loss instead.
  • Rich Bitch: Never wanted for anything in life, has trouble relating to the less fortunate, and is certainly rather self-absorbed. However, it's downplayed - she has a soft spot for her best friend Cedar Dalisay and the rest of their friend group, and even though she can be obnoxious and selfish, she's not really malicious.

    S041: William “Bill” Taylor 
S041: William “Bill” Taylor
Designated Weapon: Jagdkommando Tri-Dagger
Conclusion: He seems nice, which means he probably won't make it far. - Abby Soto

    S042: Teddie Boyd 
S042: Theodore 'Teddie' Jasper Boyd
Designated Weapon: Pop-up two person tent
Conclusion: One testicle boy, two person tent...who I am kidding, there is a zero percent chance he gets someone else in this tent. - Josie Knight

  • Split Personality: After deciding that he's too weak to survive the island, Teddie invents a new personality for himself called Jack as a coping mechanism.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Him lying to Kitty about Robin back at school is arguably why Robin gets killed so quickly on the island.

    S043: Donovan Lauer 
S043: Donovan Lauer
Designated Weapon: IWI Masada (9mm pistol)
Conclusion: America may run on Dunkin, but everyone runs from an IWI Masada - Abby Soto

    S044: Karen Nguyen 
S044: Karen Nguyen
Designated Weapon: COP .357 Derringer (four barrel .357 pistol)
Conclusion: In the name of the moon, I'll punish you! Pulls out five-inch gun - Josie Knight

    S045: California Fox 
S045: California Fox
Designated Weapon: Icepick
Conclusion: What is she supposed to do with a picture of ice? Oh, icePICK not ice PIC. I thought maybe because she's an artist... Well, nevermind. At least you got something designed for the cold. - Abby Soto

    S046: Shawn Bellamy 
S046: Shawn Bellamy
Designated Weapon: Copper dowsing rods
Conclusion: Hey! You can see if they work for finding friends! - Josie Knight

    S047: Russell "Fitz" Fitzroy 
S047: Russell "Fitz" Fitzroy
Designated Weapon: Walther WA 2000 (sniper rifle)
Conclusion: He's pale because he doesn't go outside, blonde. Maybe he'll be a perfect sniper if he lays down in the snow - Abby Soto

    S048: Rebekah Hayes 
S048: Rebekah Hayes
Designated Weapon: Fleece Snuggie
Conclusion: Maybe she should have brought the raccoons to homecoming, then she wouldn't be in this situation. - Josie Knight

  • Berserk Button: Being caught between opposing sides of a conflict. It's implied that this stems from being caught in the middle of her parents' divorce. This results in a complete meltdown when she spends the entire leadup to homecoming thinking it's going to be a showdown between Dani and Chloe, only to find out that her classmates decided to Take a Third Option instead, potentially pissing off both of them.
  • Broken Tears: She is horrified when she wins the Homecoming vote, and thinks that the much more deserving Dani and Chloe will hate her forever
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Comes off as something of a Cloudcuckoolander to most people at the school, but she demonstrates a surprising amount of social and emotional awareness in the privacy of her own head.
  • Character Tic: She characterizes humans as just another species of animal, and will often make note of this, with her narration describing other people as being "a human teacher," "a human woman," or whatever.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Does this from time to time, most notably when Rebekah's mother asks her if she's brought "protection" for after the dance, and Rebekah responds that she does, because she has bear spray in her purse.
  • Friend to All Living Things: Loves animals of all kinds, up to and including tapeworms.
  • Gone Horribly Right: Rebekah attempts to disqualify herself from Homecoming by promising to unleash wild raccoons during the ceremonies. This directly results in her being voted Homecoming Queen.
  • Hidden Depths: She writes poems to the school paper anonymously.
  • Memetic Mutation: In-Universe. Her promise to bring raccoons to Homecoming results in her going from a relatively unknown entity to being elected Homecoming Queen, and is even referenced by the terrorists in her profile quote.
  • Noodle Incident: Whatever she did to get her phone number blacklisted by the Boston Zoo.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: A lot of her zanier antics come off as just plain wacky, but some of her interior monologues make it clear that she tactically overplays her oddness to defuse tense moments between her friends.
  • Sexy Whatever Outfit: Zigzagged at Halloween. She initially wants to dress up as a giant isopod but can't get the outfit together in time, so she borrows Dani's Catwoman costume instead. Rebekah being Rebekah, she thinks it's just a really inaccurate cat costume.
  • "Well Done, Son" Guy: Rebekah's worst fear is being noticed or standing out from the crowd, but in a series of attempts to please her emotionally distant mother, she joins the cheerleading squad, makes a (heavily self-sabotaged) bid for homecoming court, and winds up casting the tiebreaking vote to get elected queen. All of this causes her serious emotional trauma, and it's not clear that it even worked.

    S049: Letitia May 
S049: Letitia May
Designated Weapon: M/28-30 (bolt action rifle)
Conclusion: Ugh! Since when do I have to do this kind of grunt work? This girly has a passion for fashion but I hope she's got a passion for lead. And look on the bright side, you're sweater's red to start with. - Cecily Lacoste

    S050: June Madison 
S050: June Madison
Designated Weapon: Roll of duct tape
Conclusion: Duct tape is so versatile. You can make a bowl! You can make a boat! You can make a coffin to bury yourself in! And hey if she starts going off someone can just slap some over her mouth too. Such a great tool. - Josie Knight

  • Seven Deadly Sins: She and her friend group were designed to each represent one of the Seven Sin. June represents Wrath.
  • Seven Heavenly Virtues: Like above, she and her friends were designed to also represent one of the Seven Virtues. June represents Temperance.
  • Take a Third Option: Gets saved by the military on Day 12.

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