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Characters: Part Right Half Wrong A Third Crazy
- Adorkable: Not as much as Alfred, but he has his moments.
- Abusive Parents: His stepfather was one.
- Bi the Way
- Blind Without 'Em
- Canada, Eh?: Matt actually talks like that, to much teasing from Alfred and Gilbert.
- The Charmer
- Chick Magnet AND Dude Magnet
- Cloudcuckoolander: He frequently talks to a lamp and once got so distracted he drove into a pole.
- Companion Cube: The Lamp, later Kumajiro.
- Dark and Troubled Past: The boy has not had an easy life.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Defrosting Ice Queen: Warms up to Al, and although he stays snarky and bitchy for the whole damn fic, they get plenty of Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other moments.
- Deus Angst Machina: His life has sucked.
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Arthur mistakes him for a girl and he mentions casually that it "happens a lot".
- Hooker with a Heart of Gold: A former one.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold
- Never Gets Drunk: He can get drunk, but it takes a hell of a lot and he can easily drink guys twice his size under the table.
- Pretty Boy
- Sir Swears-a-Lot
- The Snark Knight
- The Stoner
- Sugar and Ice Personality
- The Tease: He flirts a lot, but "isn't into picking up girls at bars". Also, towards Alfred, oh so very much.
- Troubled, but Cute
- Really Gets Around: Used to be far worse than he is now, according to Gilbert he had sex with the entire cheerleading team when they were in high school.
- Why Did It Have To Be A Rat?
- Adorkable: Of course.
- Attention Whore
- Break the Haughty: So much.
- Chick Magnet
- Chronic Hero Syndrome: Lke his canon counterpart. The difference is that this Alfred really needs someone to save him.
- Ditzy Genius: According to Arthur he "inherited all of the family's book smarts, but none of the common sense."
- Dogged Nice Guy Towards Matt
- Drugs Are Bad: Since cocaine practically ruined his life and he almost died of an overdose.
- Going Cold Turkey: Poor, poor Al.
- If It's You, It's Okay: "I'm not gay; I only like one guy, and since he gets mistaken for a girl more often than not, I doubt that even makes me bisexual."
- In-Series Nickname: Princess, courtesy of Matt on account of his acting like a Spoiled Brat.
- Insufferable Genius: The fact that it's justified just makes his arrogance more annoying.
- Kindhearted Cat Lover
- Lonely Rich Kid: Used to be one, and never really lost the complex.
- Nice to the Waiter: Pointed out out by Matt that "People like you don't help people like me".
- Parental Neglect: Implied. His dad's response to Alfred asking to learn how to drive was "I don't have time for that shit".
- Stepford Smiler
- Troubled, but Cute
- Wacky Frat Boy Hijinks: And still just as bad, despite being 28.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Subverted. He acts the part, but he has a lot of issues.
- Really Gets Around
- Why did it have to be ghosts?
"Girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on
about chlamydia. Also I'm eating jello out of a teacup
with a fork instead of taking notes on Dali. Awesome?"
"When you're with us, you immediately surrender your dignity. It's almost like selling yourself into prostitution."
Antonio Fernandez Carriedo
"If it weren't for the fact that you and Matthew are a very successful couple, I'd have written you off as a
high-maintenance crazy cat lady,"
"Matthew has a nice ass, too. I'm sure you call that one your own already, don't you?"