FafaA talking groundhog who is usually the smarter of the two.
- Butt Monkey: Whenever Gorilla decides to strong-arm him.
- Funny Animal
- Cloudcuckoolander: More than Mario, surprisingly.
- Heterosexual Lifepartners: With Mario.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Fafa is the Blue Oni, despite being brown.
- Talking Animal
MarioThe other main character. Imagine Elmo with a different accent, deeper voice, somewhat more educated, wears a yellow shirt, shaved and with a wispy beard and tuft of hair and you have Mario. His species is unknown.
- Badass Beard: By puppet standards, anyway
- Berserk Button: Does not like ABBA or vertical videos (although the former is explained as a hate of palindromes)
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": His "M" T-shirt
- Celeb Crush: Is "saving himself" for Katy Perry
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Has to be Fafa's more times than you would think.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Heterosexual Lifepartners: With Fafa.
- Only Sane Man: When the situation becomes REALLY insane. Especially in The Pee-wee Herman Blog.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Naturally, the more excitable and red Mario is Red Oni to Fafa's Blue Oni.
- Take That!: Is often prone to openly telling people and things that they suck
- Technicolor People: He is tomato red.
- Too Dumb to Live: Sometimes. Instead of just escaping the Saw parody, he puts on the Lollipop Hat.
- What the Hell Is That Accent?: Speaks in what sounds like an Eastern European accent
GorillaA gorilla who mostly speaks in 'mehs'.
- Butt Monkey: In the Photoshop Tutorial.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Generally a well-meaning guy, but Gorilla has been shown strong-arming people (usually Fafa)
- Recurring Character
- The Unintelligible
ThorA heavily exaggerated version of Thor, complete with booming voice and arrogant personality
- Berserk Button: Thou shalt NOT insult Natalie Portman!
- Hidden Depths: Is a decent singer, particularly with his rendition of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On"
- No Indoor Voice
- Recurring Character
ZombieA zombie (akin in design to those from Plants vs. Zombies) who makes appearances
- Butt Monkey: In "Zombie University" where he's the practice dummy used by Mario and Fafa to demonstrate zombie slaying techniques
- Everything's Deader with Zombies
- Hidden Depths: Like Thor, he is a decent singer when it comes to "What a Wonderful World"
- Omniglot: At the very least, he knows how to say "Brains" in virtually every language on Earth-even sign language
- The Unintelligible: When acting as a zombie, otherwise he is capable of speech
Jack WoodsA nature specialist who is quite knowledgeable about rabbits...and may be insane.
- Ax-Crazy: Mario believes it, and there is something off about the guy.
- The Nicknamer: Refers to everyone as "Johnny"
Blake Worthington and BungoTwo Simian News Reporters, Blake is the Chimpanzee and Bungo is the Orangutan
- Aerith and Bob
- Funny Animal: They are two news reporters who happen to be apes.
- Take That!: Their first appearance they exemplify everything bad about American News, they seemed to have dropped this in their second appearance.
Johnny TFafa's cousin from Brooklyn...who happens to be a toad.
- Brooklyn Rage: Hails from the Bay Ridge neighborhood, specifically.
- Catchphrase: "Boom, done!"
- "Whaddaya freakin' kidding me?!"
- "In conclusion..." when he's wrapping up a discussion.
- Hand Wave: His answer when Mario asks how a toad can be related to a groundhog?Johnny: My dad was Italian.