In our last installment, we stopped at around 14:56 in the video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggmOeBnbyXI)
The last time we last saw our amphibian protectors, they had just set out along with their talking bird scientist friend on a flying car to save the recently captured Space Princess whom is in the clutches of the dastardly Dark Queen. And now our adventure continues...
So, T. Bird and the Battletoads end up travelling to the Dark Queen’s Generator Tower... located on the Ice Planet of Hoth where the Princess is being taken captive. The Battletoads use their Smash Hits to get inside the Tower and there... is something that actually incorporates things from the game. It’s the famous Pink Pillar with poles that you can use to climb to the top that made up the last levels of the original Battletoads game. So, the Battletoads have to climb the Pink Pillar to reach the Dark Queen and save the captured Space Princess. Also, it is revealed that T. Bird can project his face at our Heroes to scream at them... it makes sense.
- Zitz: Let’s hop to it!
Hey, guys... stop stealing my puns!
Anyway, the Dark Queen places the skimpy-uniformed Space Princess in an interesting captured position and inches closer and closer to her. I’m not suggesting anything but...
So, the Dark Queen tries to get the Princess’s amulet because... well, just because. And when she says “No”, the Dark Queen lets General Slaughter aim one of their Satellites of Doom at Space Princess. Destroying the Space Princess and possibly the amulet with her is much simpler than just GRABBING THE AMULET WHILE SHE’S CAPTURED!!! Seriously, there is nothing stopping you from just snatching the amulet from her neck, Dark Queen. Stop acting like an idiot and use some common sense! Oh wait... I forgot about what I’m talking about... my mistake.
Now, because the Battletoads had to climb up the Pink Pillar to reach the Dark Queen... then, cut a hole from under the Dark Queen’s lair and go through it. Come on, guys... THE PINK PILLAR IS IN THE BACKGROUND!!! You could have shown the Battletoads hopping from the Pink Pillar and entering the Dark Queen’s lair that way. I know you guys probably gave up on good continuity right now... but you guys could at least TRY TO MAKE SENSE!
Anyway, the Battletoads end up cornering the Dark Queen and expect an epic showdown to come. So, the Dark Queen turns into a tornado (I presume they’re pulling “It’s Magic, Bitch” excuse) and confronts the Battletoads head on. Then, the unconscious General Slaughter’s circling star ends up grabbing a bucket of water and splashing it on General Slaughter to make it conscious... I’ve stopping caring about this to complain.
After some more fighting, wacky hijinks, and Rash Breaking the Fourth Wall, the Battletoads decide the best way to end this nonsense is to take one of their Satellites of Doom (which they apparently just leave around the place) and use it to the destroy the Pink Pillar. The Dark Queen ends up giving one narmy Big "NO!" that rivals Darth Vader’s from Revenge of the Sith as the castle gets destroyed. The Battletoads and the freed Space Princess escape the Castle using T. Bird’s DeLorean.
The Dark Queen and her Farmhouse Fiends arise from the rubble of their destroyed castle and lament on their failure. Then, the Dark Queen and General Slaughter get in an “interesting position”. The Dark Queen decides their last resort is to destroy the Battletoads “with the Whipsaw”.
So, our heroes continue to live their pathetic lives at school as they manage to screw up an attempt to hang their school banner. Seriously, considering how much Epic Fail these guys perform daily in their school lives, it’s a surprise they get ANY type of responsibility EVER. While the Principal, whom was about to eat his 10-foot tall layered sandwich, ends up noticing their tom-foolery and decides to bring back that rather pointless conflict again. All the kids are laughing and the Principal ends up suspending the three kids because they defied his orders on never being allowed to see each other again.
- Morgan: You can’t do that to us, we’re intergalatic heroes!David: Yeah, we’re the headbangiest psychomatic toads you ever saw!
The Principal thinks they’re just talking crazy (they are) but our heroes decide to show the world for themselves by transforming into the Battletoads. Apparently, these guys don’t understand the importance of secret identities. The entire school are obviously freaked out by this... until they end up seeing an even stranger site. The Dark Queen appears in front of the Battletoads and their school in her “Whipsaw”, which is revealed to be a UFO will a revolving saw surrounding it. Also, he actually do see Mr. Thorbit in a brief cameo in the crowd... so he turns out to not have been completely chucked aside. The Dark Queen apparently broadcasts her message across televisions saying she’ll destroy the planet. Wait, I thought she wanted to just destroy the Battletoads with the “Whipsaw”... now, I guess she wants to destroy the world.
So the Dark Queen wants to destroy the world now, obviously the very first place she decides to destroy using her deadly “Whipsaw”... is a mall? Seriously, you aim for a mall... why? I mean malls can be filled with a lot of people but if you want to destroy the world... there are MUCH MORE betters place to head for. Of course, the school react to the Whipsaw attacking the mall like a terrorist about to destroy the White House.
The Battletoads decide to end this, once and for all, and hop to the Whipsaw. The Battletoads manage to get into the flying death machine but... “IT’S A TRAP!!!” The Battletoads end up surrounded by the Dark Queen’s forces and their Satellites of Doom! However, the Dark Queen appears to now WANTS to destroy them. You do realize Dark Queen that you’re riding A GIANT UFO WITH SAW BLADES SURROUNDING IT!!! I think you could just shred the toads easily by just crashing into them. This trap you pulled was rather unnecessary.
Well, whatever? This is still going to be an epic showdown, right. The Battletoads fighting against the Dark Queen and her furry forces for the final time. Surely, we’re in for a cinematic battle. So the Dark Queen orders the animals to shoot the toads down with their deadly satellites. However... the Battletoads end up hopping away from the beams and the beams end up destroying the Whipsaw. Wow, that was anti-climatic. Hell, even General Slaughter thought that was a dumb idea. Seriously, nice job fixing it, villain.
So the Dark Queen decides she has performed enough stupidity and decides to leave with her crew for the final time with her teleporting stick. The Battletoads manage to hop out of the Whipsaw before it self-destructs... possibly destroying the mall in process. Oops!
After their victory against the Dark Queen, the Battletoads are congratulated for their work by the Principal and their school whom all have a change of heart about these losers. Also, T. Bird and Space Princess are now accepted into society. Why? Well, just because... I guess it’s THAT EASY for people from a completely different galaxy to get accepted into a world they aren’t used to. So with that, the Battletoads and their friends’ problems are all gone... meaning there is no more conflict (besides that dumbass Dark Queen) for the series to come back on for any possible continuing series.
So this masterpiece ends with the Battletoads jumping in the air for a "YEAH!" Shot... and then, the government came and the Battletoads and their friends were all sent for horrible scientific experiments. Yeah, that was a lie but the pilot does end with some nice yellow text saying “THE BEGINNING...” which is all the more ironic considering the show’s fate.
Now, this pilot is over but the liveblog isn’t yet. Wait for the next and final installment of this liveblog where I give my full opinion on this project. What do I have to say about this great work? ...Well, you’ll have to wait next time to find out. Stay tuned, folks.
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