When we last left off, we were bombarded with Alternate Character Interpretation, tired old 90’s clichés, and the closest thing we will ever have to an "I Want" Song in this film. Which is a good thing considering what we’re watching. Let’s resume watching.
Morning, Randy, what do you want to say now? Oh, that Annabelle wanted to see if she grown antlers over night? Well, we can plainly tell that she didn’t, and it’s physically impossible to grow antlers overnight. Sure, Naïve Genki Every Girl, but still!
Randy: The Antlers, and the flying, had all just been a dream.
We can see that for ourselves! Anyways, Billy popped by and noticed that Annabelle can’t talk as Randy points out that Billy began to wonder if he’d been dreaming too. We could tell from the puzzled look.
Hey, remember that subplot with the broken fence that we ditched in the previous part? Let’s focus on that! So the sheriff and Gus pop by. Oh, and Buckybuster. So they come to tell Baker that in order to pay for the broken fence, they will take Annabelle, but the sheriff tells Baker that if he manages to get the money to pay for the fence in 24 hours, he will get Annabelle back. Oh, and Gus repeats what he said the last time we saw him, but with different words. It was pretty much “I wonder how he’s paying to feed her” which is sort of stupid since it’s just one more mouth and there’s plenty of other farm animals in his barn, each with their own diet. Not to mention that Baker has another cow so if anything, he can have the cows share the food. In fact, she's just born, so really, she's feeding off her mother, and thus she doesn't really need the food for now. But nah, we need some conflict, so we end the scene on Buckybuster taking away Annabelle as Billy protests the best way he knows how. This is a pretty emotional moment and a good wham at that.
So Baker wonders what he is going to do and he gets his music box. He tells Ears how his daughter used to love the music box. Essentially telling us what Randy told us at the first part. Sure, it’s worded differently, but it delivers the same message, in fact, Baker tells us more about the box than what Randy told us! So the next morning, Baker has a box shaped object wrapped in a blanket, and when the blanket peels away, it reveals the color of what the object is. Okay, that was a nice little hint as to what it is, but it’s painfully obvious as to what it is, especially after Baker blabs about letting go of the past and that Randy manages to downright tell us what happened. In short: He sold the music box, got Annabelle back, and everyone’s happy! This conflict literally took two and a half minutes to be resolved! There’s no goddamn tension to this thing, and even if there was with the whole “How did Baker get the money?” thing, it would be broken by the narrator directly telling how!
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS CONFLICT!? ISN’T IT ALL POINTLESS?!
BUT FUCK THAT! LET’S HAVE MORE SINGING! NO! REALLY! AFTER THAT’S RESOLVED, RANDY JUST SPONTANEOUSLY SINGS! Screw it! The singing is calming so I won’t mind.
Oh, and pay attention, this is the only time you get to see the setting not be in the wintertime. Actually, I doubt Billy, Emily, and Annabelle are even in Tennessee. It just feels so... remote. The only time when it does feel like the setting of Annabelle’s Wish is this one moment before it becomes winter. At this point, the song is just serving as a pointless montage to go to the next Christmas, because the plot can’t continue without it being Christmas. Oh, and there’s this little moment where Annabelle is munching on a carrot and the camera focuses on her for about four seconds. It looks so weird and it feels like a meme should be made out of it. So the montage ends and we resume the plot.
The first thing that happens? Buckybuster pops by to pick on Billy. What happened to him during the year? Why didn’t he pick on Billy on the other days of the year? Did he have better things to do? Clearly not, since here he is picking fun at Billy. And have I heard that laugh before in this movie? Oh, and Buckybuster asks Billy why he hangs out with girls and cows. It took him a year to come up with that. A year. The goddamn conflict his father set up lasted longer than the time it took him to find something new to poke fun at Billy with! So after pushing Emily, Buckybuster laughs again, and it’s the same damn laugh! Annabelle does what Billy and Emily should have done long ago and beat the crap out of them.
After some more narration from Randy, Buckybuster runs to Gus and tells him about Annabelle pulling a Zinedine Zidane. You think this will create another conflict, right? NOPE! According to the sheriff, it turns out that the Bus Driver saw the whole thing. Where was it when Buckybuster was bullying Billy? It was nowhere to be seen! Whatever, the conflict is taken care of before it even started. Gus tells Buckybuster to go to his room and... GAH! His eyes! Around the 7:40 mark, his eyes begin to stand out and look out of place! It’s one of those animation errors that require multiple viewings to see, but when you see it... Anyways, Buckybuster goes to his room and the sheriff asks Gus why he’s a grump. Oh, and the sheriff decides to tell Gus how Baker got the money for that fence: He sold it to an antique dealer. We already know that. Sure, Dramatic Irony and all, but this would be a bit more shocking if Randy shut his trap about Baker selling the music box earlier. See what I mean when I said that the Narrator is next to useless? I’ve mentioned this multiple times, but what’s the point in having a narrator if you’re just gonna be spilling these beans later in the story? It’s like if in Star Wars, there’s a narrator who tells everyone that Darth Vader is Luke’s father at the very start of The Empire Strikes Back. It removes the impact. And then there’s something the sheriff says that I’d like to point out.
Sheriff Lex Luthor *: And you, of all people, should know what it’s like to lose a loved one. *
This is the most subtle backstory in the entire film. Gus’s backstory is only talked about a few times, always played subtly compared to everything else. Whereas we’re told many times that Billy can’t speak or that Baker loved his daughter, we’re only told that Gus lost his wife... almost never. While it’s not directly pointed out that Gus lost his wife, hints do pop up, like what the Sheriff said. This is a good kind of characterization. Not having a narrator blab about people’s life stories and just have it be revealed in time, like most Slice of Life movies. In fact, this is the reason why Gus is my second favourite character. My favourite character? She’s gonna arrive in 3. 2. 1.
Agnes: This had better be good news!
Right on time. I’ll get into detail why I like her most later on in the liveblog, but now, plot. Lex Luthor tells Agnes that there is a loophole and that Billy will be hers by... Guess what date? CHRISTMAS! BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE IS IMPORTANT BUT CHRISTMAS!
We focus back to Billy as... Wait. Did that calendar say October? You’re telling me that it snowed during October? Oh wait, Billy just hadn’t managed to tear off the two pages of the calendar to make it December. No really, they fell off. And Randy talks about wishes being worth waiting for. See, this is a better job for the Narrator. Talking about the theme of the movie as opposed to blatantly talking about characters. Oh, right, the next conflict has arrived. Let’s see how long this one takes.
So Agnes arrives and tells Baker that Billy is hers. This exchange comes up.
Baker: Over my dead body!
Agnes: Unfortunately, that won’t be necessary.
WOAH! WHAT? Unfortunately? Don’t you mean fortunately since you don’t need to dirty your hands? Or are we to suspect that Agnes actually wanted to have Billy over Baker’s dead body? Yandere vibes are going through the roof! So anyways, Agnes shows Baker the papers and tells him that she will have Billy until he can speak, which may be never. So in other words, she’s not gonna provide him with the best doctors money can buy in order to keep him forever because the sole condition is that if Billy can speak, he can be with Baker. Wow... Did she just cross the Moral Event Horizon with that move? You know what? I still go with what I said: it’s less trouble for her if she adopts. No loopholes to jump through, no lawyers to pay for, no language barriers to keep you apart from talking. No, she wants to go hardcore and get the mute kid that takes a lot of time and money just to get. Baker sums up my words to this.
Baker: That’s ridiculous!
Also, Lex said that Billy is hers to take on Christmas. She arrived on Christmas Eve. Isn’t this jumping the gun? I mean, I'm no law expert, but isn't this a little risque to get your custody a day before you're supposed to get it? Anyways, Billy and Annabelle aren’t pleased with this and the animals band up to sabotage Agnes’s car. And did her license plate really say “Agnes”? Talk about having an ego. So Agnes finds out that her car’s wrecked and she’s not happy what so ever, even accusing Baker of doing the deed. You know what I like? A few minutes ago, she threatened to call the cops on Baker if he ever interfered in her getting Billy, and yet she’s not doing that. Instead she’s asking him to get a tow truck. However, the closest time that they can get said truck is on Christmas... Wait what? Aren’t most businesses closed on Christmas? Including tow trucks? I’m not sure, but screw it, Rule of Drama. And all the animals cheer for buying Billy time. It’s not an overall major victory, so I don’t know why they are celebrating.
So after an odd scene of Agnes sleeping that I’m sure is supposed to make kids laugh, we have the animals talk again. Annabelle said that she’s been really good... Well, except for the time she accidently broke the fence. And the time she headbutted Buckybuster. And montages don’t really count. So she makes the wish to Santa. Morning comes as Rooster Williams makes another Good Morning Vietnam reference.
Agnes gets her car out of the pond and Baker asks Billy to hurry up with opening the gifts. He finds a small gift and finds nothing inside, but when he holds it over his head, magic sprinkle dust comes out and he’s Suddenly Voiced... Oh wait, his muteness is gone. I like to wonder what caused Billy to suddenly blurt out “there’s nothing in here” other than “OMG SHOCK!”. Anyways, Baker takes the news well and he cries Tears of Joy. Agnes pops by to pick up Billy and Baker asks him to talk. I like how her reaction isn’t that he spoke, but what he spoke. Now this film’s showing that she doesn’t give a shit for Billy. Another animation error at 14:16, and Billy runs out of the house to talk with Annabelle. I can only assume that Agnes is having a Villainous Breakdown as soon as he exited the house and spontaneously changed clothes.
He enters the barn and finds that Annabelle can’t talk and Star explains why in this Wham Line.
Star: Should I kill her now?
NO! WRONG MOVIE! TRY AGAIN!
Star: She gave her Christmas voice to you. She’ll never talk again.
See. Was that so hard, movie? You didn’t have Randy tell what happened or make it blatantly obvious what is gonna happen. You pulled off a perfect Bait-and-Switch, albeit a Shocking Swerve, as there never was any implication that Annabelle wanted to hear Billy talk. Sure, it counts as Deus ex Machina since it came out of nowhere to resolve the conflict (which clocked in at around five and a half minutes, three minutes longer than the other major conflict) but it works. Maybe Annabelle was thinking about becoming a reindeer, but when Agnes came for Billy, she had to choose between her dreams and her friend. The only thing wrecking this mood is one good old Fridge Logic: Does this mean Billy can only talk on Christmas? Or does magic sprinkle dust take care of that like it took care of his damaged voice box? And you got to love how shocked the animals are even though they should have known this yesterday!
Actually, I have a bigger question: How come Baker’s wish was never answered? His was practically the same thing: to have Billy speak. Why can the year-old calf get the wish granted but not the wise old man? Does it require Equivalent Exchange? Is he just too old to be receptive to Santa? Actually, I think it has to do with the Magic Sprinkle Dust. See, since Santa can make animals speak with magic sprinkle dust, it’s logical that he can make mute humans speak with that same thing too, though that apparently requires permanent loss of a certain animals voice. So in other words, Santa's A Genie.
And so after a Title Drop, Billy embraces Annabelle (Can't Believe I Said That) and we end this part on a downer. Well, next part’s the finale.
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