catmuto
Since: Nov, 2012
08/29/2015 00:00:00
Don't forget. Her ass is referred to as 'back there'. And the ACTUAL plot of the book seemed to be "When will Christian manage to get anal from Ana?" and not... whatever the hell EL James called a plot to begin with.
HammerOfJustice
Since: Apr, 2013
09/05/2018 00:00:00
Not really shocking that it\'s worse than Twilight, considering its by now well-known origins as a Twilight fanfiction.
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'So Bad, It's Horrible' doesn't begin to cover it.
I read the first book on a dare, and I wish I'd never agreed to it. Somehow, it managed to be even worse than Twilight (which I'd also read on a dare. Don't take dares.)
Now, I'm not in the demographic the book is marketed to. I'm a young(ish) woman, but I'm no fan of romances or erotica. That said, even a person who isn't a fan of a genre can still recognize crappy writing, and this is beyond crappy. Anastasia isn't just an Extreme Doormat — she's a completely unrealistic human being. If she had been raised in a strictly religious and/or conservative household, her immense ignorance might have been explained, but to all appearances she had a normal childhood. Her total naivete isn't endearing, it's embarrassing to witness. She's just as whiny and needy as Bella Swan, but comes off as even less intelligent.
Christian is likewise unrealistic, as well as being a complete sociopath. A billionaire at 27? While that does happen, it's usually limited to people who create unique inventions, and the text doesn't suggest Christian has any real talents. For a CEO, he seems to have abundant time on his hands to stalk, threaten, and sex up Ana, whether she wants it or not. Apparently all of this is considered romantic, solely because he's devastatingly attractive. One could be forgiven for assuming he's a serial killer just waiting for the right moment to slaughter Ana and bury her beneath his 'playroom'.
Which brings up the so-called 'erotica'. IKEA Erotica doesn't begin to cover it, and it doesn't help that Ana seems incapable of referring to her own genitals as anything other than 'down there'. Though Christian gets her off the first time they have sex, he very obviously takes sadistic pleasure in the pain that actual intercourse causes her. The scenes vary between boring, squicky, and both, and E.L. James' terrible prose doesn't help at all. It's so creepy that it can't even be laughed at.
I couldn't recommend this book to anyone. It's a waste of the paper it's printed on, and is a disturbing, ugly story that might be called Unfortunate Implications: The Novel.