Discussion Main / WeaknessTurnsHerOn

I could have SWORN there was a real life section here the other day... Who moved it?

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This seems awfully similar to Florence Nightengale Syndrome

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Cut this massively misapplied ranting about "nice guys", which has little if nothing to do with this trope:

It isn't just applied to any 'nice' guy... it has to be the weakness that is the turn-on, not just a decent personality. For example, say Alice has a friend named Bob. Bob is a decent man, respectful of her, and a good friend. If Alice were to be attracted to him normally, it would not be this trope. If, however, Bob were also cripplingly shy around strangers, and Alice could act as his 'buffer' against the world, protecting him, and therefore became attracted to him, it would be this trope. Or if Bob was in a car accident, and Alice helped him through Physical therapy and became attracted to him because of it. Or if Bob's pet hamster died and he was devastated, and she helped him through the trauma. Or if Bob was a good deal younger than her and didn't really know how to function at her level. Or if Bob simply had a submissive personality.

You get the picture.

All Girls Want Bad Boys can have this as well, believe it or not (the "No one can understand him but me" and "I can change him if I love him enough" varieties). In this case, it's both the 'badness' and the 'weakness' that turn her on. Specifically, she feels flattered that she can make such a strong man so weak when it comes to her.

There are compelling reasons for this trope's existence.

Women do not like assholes in real life. Women like to be treated with respect. The reason the trope All Girls Want Bad Boys exists is that many women are attracted, not to assholishness, but to the strength and independent streak typified by said 'bad boys'. It's a kind of rebellion and adrenaline-high which makes them exciting and interesting, and many women are intensely attracted to this. The reasons women will occasionally stick with Bad Boys, even if they're assholes, is that they

1. Want to change him
2. Want to give him a second chance
3. Don't want to be alone, and are willing to put up with a lot until a better guy comes along
4. Are frightened of leaving him
5. Have some variation of Stockholm Syndrome or some such

In reality, as it was once well put, "'You against the world' may bring in the cheerleader butterflies, but it's nice that lasts."

While a guy who never 'makes a move' may not get any tail, simply because the girls aren't aware that he is interested (or because they find him boring, to give both sides of the coin) (or because they value his friendship, but aren't interested in him romantically, to give the edge of the coin as well), a genuinely nice and respectful guy who is honest about his attraction to a girl has just as much chance or more of getting a date.

The 'never makes a move' problem comes in because girls, contrary to popular belief, are not nearly as secure or sure about their attractiveness as they act. Girls want to know they are attractive, and need to be reassured of the fact by being pursued by desirable men.

This trope, because it exists in Real Life, has been abused as often as any of the Love Tropes. There is the concept of a nice guy—a genuinely kind man—and the Nice Guy. A Nice Guy and a nice guy are not the same thing. A nice guy is just a guy who is, well, nice. Genuinely kind. Nothing wrong with that. A Nice Guy is a guy who passive-aggressively expects sex from a woman because he is acts deferentially towards her, even though he never comes out and admits his sexual attraction or engages her in any meaningful way. The fact that she rejects him for say, anything else with a penis, makes her a Bitch in his mind. Basically, Nice Guy is an ironic name—he's just a passive prick rather than an aggressive one. (The trope Nice Guy, however, describes actual nice guys. We understand if this is confusing and/or hard to keep straight.)

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku