The Touhou Character Alternate Interpretation Compendium

Are you kidding? If she could get pictures of whatever she wanted there'd be no keeping secrets ever again. Sanae rumoured to be in a relationship with a karakasa? She has photographic evidence. A powerful youkai acting suspicious? The Kakashi Nenpo reveals the incident before it starts.

edited 17th Mar '10 10:51:10 PM by Hylarn

Let's just be glad that that variant of spirit photography doesn't belong to Aya. Can you imagine?

I actually think that Hatate's newness makes discussing her all the more interesting. Everything we know about her can be easily reviewed within a brief time, allowing for some in-depth analysis of what she actually says, rather than what fandom says she says, though one obviously has to take into account that a translation will always be a little biased.

So, let me go through all the spell-card comments...

"I made the harvest goddess who was wandering around there my partner and did a little photography practice."-Aya

Wait, Aya made Minoriko her partner? Uh?

"She hit the trees with a heavy stroke and then she, like, hid in the leaves. That's...that thing, right? That thing where people wear padded clothing and hit trees. Like, to blow off steam." - Hatate

Sounding almost like Buffy Speak here. And again, she ponders stuff and tries to understand it.

"This year's harvest festival was quite something, wasn't it? I wonder what harvest they're celebrating? I wonder if it's...that? Maybe humans? " - Aya

Aya's insinuating anthrophagism again!?

"I think wild festivals are, like, awesome. I mean, there's nothing like a wild festival, right? Like those saury fish in Meguro Acala. After all, I like, can't write anything about boring festivals." - Hatate

Like her comment about this year's harvest earlier on that stage, Hatate's always very positive about stuff.

''"These are those, like, really flashy leaves again~. Seeing cherry blossoms dance is totally pretty, but falling leaves are, like, kinda sad. Autumn is like, so depressing."'' - Hatate

Case in point, kinda. Cheerful child, she is.

"So sweeeet! This sweet smell is, like, totally unfair. It makes me wanna slack off. I'll just, like, grab some sweet potatoes and go home today." - Hatate

Ahaha, oh man. She's ambitious, but she is, after all, still a teenager. I can relate to that... even though I'm 22.

"Ewww, people who always just envious and jealous are totally creepy. But I guess it's thanks to these guys that the newspaper articles are interesting. I wonder if they're happy because everybody looks down on them." - Hatate

Sou nano ka~

"Oh my, with flames of jealousy as splendid as these, even I get jealous once in a while. Maybe that's not a bad thing. But, I wonder how I can get jealous." - Aya

Of course, being Aya, whom could she possibly be jealous of?

"I heard humans set fire to each others' houses when they hold grudges. It's totally a bad idea to give those kinds of things to people who aren't used to their emotions. They're useful, but they can totally backfire." - Hatate

Hear, hear!

"The omikuji [a kind of fortune-slip one takes on New Year's] I drew said "bad luck". I guess maybe I just went to pick up some misfortune. It's best to keep on drawing until you get "very good luck" at times like these." - Aya

I don't think this is how it works, Aya.

"I wonder if I can write a story about, like, the style of demonic items? She carries diseases, so I'm sure the humans must totally hate her. Maybe she should, you know, work together with a pharmacist and start a business." - Hatate

Hatate pondering stuff again. She's nice, don't you think?

"She swings around this horribly unfashionable umbrella. I wonder, is she having fun? I really don't get the way young umbrella monsters think these days." - Aya

You know, I'm really starting to get a vibe here that Aya's all disillusioned and cynical from her "old age" (whatever that may mean in Touhou terms), as opposed to Hatate's young innocence.

"So, like, the horizonatal threads are sticky, but the vertical ones aren't, yeah? Wonder why she doesn't just make them all sticky." - Hatate

Because the vertical ones are for her to walk on, Hatate-chan~

"Ah, she's faster than I thought. I totally can't catch her. Maybe I should, like, write an article about what I imagine it's like to live in a bucket. I bet it's like being a crab or a turtle or something like that... " - Hatate

That. Is. Adorable.

"My camera was totally made by the kappas! They can be kinda rude, but they're really good at high-tech stuff. So, the waterproof machines made by the kappas are awesome! " - Hatate

Oh man!

" Ah, it's Momiji the white wolf tengu, huh? It looks like she can't deal with with Aya, but I wonder why... Maybe it's just, like, a cat-and-dog relationship. " - Hatate

Different translation from last time. Food for thought: Cats and dogs often don't get along because of their differences in communication. When a cat purrs, it sounds like growling to a dog. A cat will feel at ease when you're not paying too much attention to her, a dog will feel left alone. And then there's the differences in temper, though it seems like Momiji would be the cat in this case... A tsundere relationship seems very possible still, though.

"When humans come this far, I wonder if she chases them off by, like, biting them like this...? And I guess adding the hydrophobia would be because this place is way full of water? I can totally see how that fits in with the Kappa. " - Hatate

She didn't know about the spider nets, but she does know about the "hydrophobia" aspect of rabies... She's pretty knowledgeable about some things?

"It looks like the kappa is bathing happily. You might think this is harassment, but it's not. If I get seen by her, I'll splash her with lots of water. " - Aya

But. But. But. Aya!

"Since she's a colleague, I thought I might as well research how she chases off the intruders. It's a skill that makes her look bigger than she actually is. Impressive! I'd like her to be on lookout forever. " - Aya

Doesn't she just make you feel SUPER SAFE?! Or is it for a different reason?

"Aya doesn't seem to like her, but this white wolf tengu has way good eyes~! And her nose is really good, so she's, like, amazing. But I guess it's not a good idea to write stuff about our friends in the paper, huh? " - Hatate

Friends! I also like how all these mentions of Aya and Momiji not getting along are never stated as definite. They're always like "they seem to dislike each other" and stuff.

"Ahh, such a big hand! I wonder if he's a Mikoshi-Nyuudou......(a Mikoshi-Nyuudou is a giant who grows taller as you look up at him) I discovered a sense of camaraderie in meeting a classic youkai like this. Gensokyo really is our paradise. Still, it hurts when he hits me..... "- Aya

''"There it is! That big ol' nyuudou's fists sure are faster than I thought. Hope I can get some good shots of 'em. If I can, maybe I can do an article on nyuudou shoulder massages. "'' - Hatate

I think you just kinda have to let these sink in.

"This was the first time I'd seen an anchor, but really it's just a big fishing hook, isn't it? I thought maybe it was used for catching big fish, but it looks like in reality it's not for catching fish. It's for catching the ground. " - Aya

Ahahahaha. That sounds downright cloudcuckoolanderish.

"Ooh, boat spirits have, like those bottomless dippers, right? Wasn't there some kinda spirit that puts water into boats with a dipper? Can't scoop in water with a bottomless ladle! "

"Getting hit by an anchor that size would totally sink a ship! Hmmm, so the way to sink ships has changed, huh? Guess I can deal with the dipper being bottomless, then! "

"Huh? She CAN scoop water! And I verified the dipper had no bottom, too. Guess you really can do anything if you, like, put your mind to it. " - Hatate

D'aww.

"Wow, he sure is huge! Too big for my camera to shoot! Oh, wait. Didn't the kappa tell me it had a "panorama function" or some junk? I wonder, like, how you use that... " - Hatate

Oh dear, Hatate. You're gonna get labeled as an idiot.

''"Looks like she can't rest peacefully! I can sense unfathomable energy in the shadow of such a tragedy for this drowned spirit. I always report on optimistic things, so maybe I should find write some depressing articles once in a while. "'' - Aya

Is that so~?

"It's the underground oni. All of the onis retired underground, so us tengu took custody of Youkai Mountain. No, really. " - Aya

Sou nano ka yo~

"Uh-oh, I totally met an oni! The Great Tengu says to avoid too much contact with oni, but are he trying to hide some crime? Or maybe he's trying to keep us from getting close? " - Hatate

Sou nanOH BOY, INTRIGUE!

"It's that Ibuki oni. Nobody knows just where she spends all her time now that she's come above ground. Maybe she'll quiet down if I get her a suitable living space. " - Aya

Am I the only one who was reminded of those crime shows where the investigators get more involved with the people than they ever would in real life.

''"Restricting my contact with oni... is what they say to do, but I'm totally not gonna just agree to that after meeting somebody this newsworthy! Now, I'm gonna write all kinds of articles! "'' - Hatate

You go, girl!

"A bunch of little oni burst out of her. I wonder if she can move all these little oni like they're part of her body... I wonder how much pain she would feel if they were crushed one by one... " - Aya

Aya. ._.

"For an oni, even a single sigh is an amazing thing. The photos are almost all white, so you can't really tell what's going on when you look at them. What's more, they reek of liquor. " - Aya

Amazing!

"You can see her breath like it's a cold day, but an oni's sigh is, like, totally hot. Maybe her body's burning with jealously of all that alcohol. " - Hatate

Hands up, who misread this at first?

"Huge! She won't fit in my viewfinder! I guess I should have another camera ready if I want to be a perfect newspaper reporter. Would, like, printing a drawing be too shady? " - Hatate

I wouldn't worry about that, sweety.

Whew, halfway through. I, err, should give it a break. This turned into more of a liveblog. I hope it's not too much of a wall of text to read. And I hope I don't seem too biased towards Hatate. ^^;

But yeah, she seems like a well-meaning, curious girl.

edited 18th Mar '10 7:08:57 AM by Fawriel

She's like... d'awww! Her reactions are so cute and innocent and stuff.

And Aya... don't kill the mini-Suikas.

...yes, I think I am becoming something of a Hatate-fan. Yes, she's quite awesome. Quite.

Huh? So when she plucks out a hair, it turns into a little oni. I was thinking that if it's just hair, she should be limited to about a hundred thousand, but it looks like they come out when she breathes, too. She's, like, got an endless supply, then, huh?

Suika is Monkey?

I think this supports the theory of the Tengu still being vassals to the Oni. But perhaps the younger generations don't know this and just know them as something to be wary of?

Hatate might end up having a reputation as a good girl, taking over Sanae's position as Gensokyo's Good Girl if this keeps up (Sanae is now a total mecha geekhead with a taste for bullying Stage 1 and 2 bosses).

Ayayayayaya, no wonder Reimu preemptively buries her under hakurei Yin-Yang Orbs when she notices Aya trying to get a scoop.

I also am amused by Hatate not fully understanding how her camera works. Who hasn't run into that sort of thing, right?

Hatate is still part of the paparazzi, she's just less cynical about it than Aya.

And less willing to make crap up to get an "exciting" story.

Not really. Double Spoiler is about her trying Aya'a methods, including causing the incidents she's reporting on.

I mean, she's not making crap up about what she's "researching" (like Aya's assessment of Nitori. Really?)

I can't wait for Aya's next interview sessions. More juicy information and character interactions!

I'm imagining Momiji laughing at an increasingly distraught Nitori as she reads the next juicy info on her in the Bunbunmaru.

edited 18th Mar '10 10:21:33 AM by AceOfScarabs

Like the ones on Bohemian Archive? Were there any more after that?

Nope. Closest is Perfect Memento.

Pity. Those interviews were hilarious.

"That's animal abuse!"

I like how Double Spoiler is basically ZUN saying "AYA, NITORI, MOMIJI, ALL THE CHARACTERS YOU LOVE ARE HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE JACKASSES"

Bah, I cannot reconcile Aya's comment about Nitori drowning people with... well anything really. But it's in line with Aya occasionally just making crap up to push papers.

Yeah, I think she had empty space in her newspaper, some pictures of Nitori and absolutely nothing to write about her. So she just made something up.

Perhaps she's secretly jealous of Nitori's relationship with Momiji?

What is there to be jealous of?

Well, Momiji does spend a lot of free time with Nitori, playing Shogi and stuff...

And doesn't she spend a lot of time with Aya too being her subordinate? Nitori and Aya are the primary two characters I know of Momiji interacting with the most, what does Momiji have with Nitori that she doesn't have with Aya?

EDIT: HOLY FUCK HER ARTICLE NOW LISTS HER RELATIONSHIP WITH AYA AS "COLLEAGUE, ENEMY?", THIS IS TERRIBLE

edited 18th Mar '10 2:57:42 PM by StarkMaximum

Perhaps Momiji only works with Aya and because of that has only got a professional relationship? So Aya's jealous of Nitori actually having a normal relationship with her, as a friend?

Indeed, that is terrible.

edited 18th Mar '10 3:02:00 PM by Lemurian

Either way this seriously fucks with my one main pairing from this series and it really annoys me, because before, Aya/Momiji represented just about everything I love in a relationship between two characters, and now because of ZUN, it's stupid-ass bargain-bin typical I-hate-you-but-I-love-you Foe Yay! I may as well be shipping fucking Cloud/Sephiroth!