Granted, it's nsfw
I wish for a ruler
Captain of the Adamant
Wish granted. You get a ruler that's too short to practically measure anything.
I wish for the ability to master any skill I take up.
Edited by viridianskyes on Apr 15th 2024 at 10:41:45 AM
"It still bothers me that they call us smugglers and pirates. We're humanitarian blockade runners, not druglords."
Lord of Hell
Granted. However, it takes over 100 years for you to master any skill you try to take up. You didn't say you wish to instantly master them.
I wish for world peace.
The genie is hard of hearingnote and drowns the world in pees.
I wish court recesses involved the Judge and Lawyers playing on playgrounds.
Captain of the Adamant
Granted. Recesses now last indefinitely due to the sheer amount of fun that they're all having!
I wish for the ability to bend blood.
"It still bothers me that they call us smugglers and pirates. We're humanitarian blockade runners, not druglords."
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. Now you are constantly bending your own blood as well when you use your powers, which ends up killing you.
I wish I could see individual atoms up close.
"What do you guys think about the ocean?" - Cynthia
He/him
Granted. However, you can never turn it off. You are now effectively blind and due to the absurdity of that ability no scientists will ever believe you making it useless to the scientific community.
I wish I could fly.
"FOR REAL?!?"
Granted. You are sent on a one-way flight to Kodiak, Alaska.
I wish that we'd get a new non-mobile, high-quality Heroes of Might and Magic game.
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
That already happened.
Edited by MurlocAggroB on Apr 17th 2024 at 4:33:25 AM
Granted. It sells very poorly, forever banishing Heroes of Might and Magic to the realm of mobile games.
I wish the genie would dab every time they grant a wish.
Knuckles the Echidna
Granted. The genie now must make you dab before you make a wish.
I wish for the genie to be given $1 million.
Edited by TheOther36 on Apr 17th 2024 at 6:04:59 PM
One thing I have learned in pledging my life to this quest is that I have been betrayed again and again. And again. And again.
Having Faun
The genie thanks you, then uses the money to buy a hitman to kill you.
I wish for never-ending world peace.
Lord of Hell
Granted. The Genie kills every living thing on Earth, and prevents anymore life from forming. There can't be conflict if there's no life on earth.
I wish I could always hang out with my friends whenever I wanted.
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. You are literally hanged to death along with your friends.
I wish I had a clear throat.
"What do you guys think about the ocean?" - Cynthia
He/him
Granted. Your throat is now transparent since you didn't specify. It's not a big deal at first but soon enough you're found by scientists who want to study you
I wish I could have a slice of tasty regenerating pizza
Edited by Informer on Apr 18th 2024 at 10:38:50 AM
"FOR REAL?!?"
badly drawn in MS Paint
The pizza is so good, you cannot eat anything else. It is also extremely unhealthy.
I wish for a regular pizza, delivered in a normal way.
Am I a weirdo?
Granted. The genie makes a regular pizza today, leaves it on the counter, and has a normal delivery driver deliver it to you next week. The only way that is S-tier service is if the S stands for salmonella.
I wish for a delicious, freshly cooked pizza that will not give me food poisoning.
Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.
I hope you like anchovies and pineapple, because both are on your pizza. Yum!
Oh, and if you do like it, you suddenly get a heart attack while eating. You don't make it to the hospital in time. The pizza didn't give you food poisoning, at least.
I wish Super Mario Maker 3 was made.
Edited by SeaMonkey851 on Apr 18th 2024 at 5:43:17 AM
Cynthia at the Beach
Granted. It's full of bugs and it's universally panned by critics.
I wish Endless Ocean Luminous will be critically and commercially successful.
"What do you guys think about the ocean?" - Cynthia
Lord of Hell
Granted. However, it follows a completely different direction from the other Endless Ocean games, and while it's well received critically and commercially, fans of the series hate it. But due to it's success, the developers decide to have all other games follow it's direction from now on, ruining the series for fans.
I wish to never have anymore headaches.
Edited by Awesomekid42 on Apr 19th 2024 at 1:06:45 PM
You get constant stomachaches that never go away instead.
I wish there was an animated The Legend of Zelda movie released in 2023.
Edited by SeaMonkey851 on Apr 19th 2024 at 12:51:21 PM
He/him
It was a sequel of The Legend of Zelda (1989) and ran at 5 frames a second.
I wish that I could hang out with the phantom thieves in Persona 5
"FOR REAL?!?"
Mona Megistus!
Granted, they hate you.
I wish to travel back to 2016.
Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!
Granted. You are sent back to 2016 BC.
I wish I was an excellent chef.
Adora, the High Priestess
Granted. You get arrested for cooking meth.
I wish everyone is now insane and licked everything to make things clean.
"I just need one of you to come here to give your life to the sun god. It will be for the monkey city's glory."
Granted. You can breathe underwater, but this involves gaining gills every time you enter water, which is a very painful transformation process.
I wish for a new Pokemon type. "What do you guys think about the ocean?" - Cynthia