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ITT: We Are All Pirates' Revenge

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DrNoPuma Cat and spider frens from darkness, in nightmares
Cat and spider frens
Dec 27th 2018 at 5:37:30 PM

This is a reboot of Heather's thread "We Are All Pirates." I really liked the idea of the thread, and I was sad that it died out, so I started talking to her later, and we came up with ideas for this reboot. Feel free to join at any time, and your character can be any sort of creature. The only real rule is no godmodding, other than that, you can mostly do whatever you want. We pirates are free spirits, after all!


On the small trading island of Inmundo, in the Nudibranch Tavern, a pirate known as Melvin the Grungy sits drinking a pint of beer. Melvin is a rat... literally. A giant rat who stands a head taller than most humans and is also quite chubby. But strangest of all, he wears a domino mask that covers the top of his face and snout.

Melvin looks around wearily at the other patrons at the tavern.

TalesofUnder THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF from The Murder Hotel Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF
Dec 27th 2018 at 5:44:24 PM

(A blond man with a beard enters the tavern. Heís a self-proclaimed mighty pirate, but he looks more like a flooring inspector.)

I was helping someone load his van He threw me in, now here I am
CustardAndPie Eternal flame baby from In My Mind Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Eternal flame baby
Dec 27th 2018 at 5:50:14 PM

A young woman, practically drowning in her oversized cape, is interrupted from her drink by the blond man's entrance. She looks towards the door.

Before a page sits out too long, you must wick it!
DrNoPuma Cat and spider frens from darkness, in nightmares
Cat and spider frens
Dec 27th 2018 at 7:15:07 PM

Melvin takes another sip.

"Nice to meet ya, stranger," he says to the blond man.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Dec 27th 2018 at 10:15:41 AM

hanwen1234 Mad Dog of Shimano
Mad Dog of Shimano
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:07:49 PM

A immensely tall, muscular yet curvaceous woman enters the tavern as well.

Her outfit is...oddly out of place; more like what a modern PMC would be wearing in the Middle East or some analogue of. Her weapons, too; a M1014 and a customized Glock 34, of all things.

She's carrying a similarly out-of-place bag; oversized, and clearly carrying something, and with a couple of pouches on itself, too.

"Good day to you all."

(Well, might as well have a odd one in, non?)

"Let's go, KIRYU-CHAN!"
Daydre That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth from the trash Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:11:37 PM

A person in a face and body obscuring cloak hesitantly steps into the tavern.

"Um.. hello?"

"I was told I could.. find sailors here?"

Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten.
TalesofUnder THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF from The Murder Hotel Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:14:04 PM

ďWell, hello! Iím Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate (TM)!Ē

I was helping someone load his van He threw me in, now here I am
CustardAndPie Eternal flame baby from In My Mind Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Eternal flame baby
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:14:53 PM

The young woman perks up, pulling down her hood and walking towards the other hooded stranger.

"Hey, the name's Gabrielle. You said you're looking for sailors?"

Before a page sits out too long, you must wick it!
Daydre That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth from the trash Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:20:40 PM

She turns to the other woman. Judging by her voice, she sounds young- she's probably a tween or young teenager at the most.

"Y-yes... I just need someone to take me far away from here.."

Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten.
kablammin45 Not as tiny as the name would suggest from the Wumpa Islands Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Not as tiny as the name would suggest
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:36:48 PM

(A slightly larger-than-normal coral snake wearing a tricorn hat is slithering around everyone's feet.)

Uka Uka and Cortex want Tiny get Crystals, and bring them to big coliseum in Rome. Crash! Leave them for Tiny, or Crash get CRUSHED!
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:38:23 PM

Near Melvin, a scrawny, grey, and surprisingly small rat is napping inside of a shot glass. The conversation of the room wakes him up.

Heh... Cous'... Mel... what town are we in again?

Edited by TacoBadger on Dec 27th 2018 at 10:38:48 AM

Huzzah
shrubBird AAAAAAAAA from the depths of hell. Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
AAAAAAAAA
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:39:28 PM

Seeing all the other people enter that specific bar, a young boy follows. Reaching the entrance, he peers into the doorway, seemingly looking for something in particular.

If I don't clash, I don't change. The world ends at my borders, and the best moments slip away.
DrNoPuma Cat and spider frens from darkness, in nightmares
Cat and spider frens
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:42:21 PM

"We're on Inmundo, remember cous? I was lookin' for work. I heard this island was bustling, but I didn't expect to this many others. Pleasure to meet y'all."

Edited by DrNoPuma on Dec 27th 2018 at 11:43:17 AM

TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:45:06 PM

Others? Ah shoot... I knew I shouldn't have soiled my fancy clothes. Oh well.

The rat in the shot glass stands up. Hello hello, all bar patrons. Name's Duane. This is my cousin Melvin. Obviously, he got the height and he got the looks, but I, I got the addictive personality. Work out those genes why doncha?

Huzzah
Beverly The Hero from the Relationship Status: A teenager in love
The Hero
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:51:31 PM

Just as everyone is settling in...

A panicked looking man bursts through the tavern door, a look of terror on his face.

"THE FUNNYBONES ARE COMING!!"

"The Funnybones" being a local gang of pirates, ne'er-do-wells, and general ruffians. Lead by the very serious Max Funnybones. They're the kind of group that would be feared and terrored... in a very small radius, but they'd be completely unknown outside of their small area of expertise.

Allen, descendant of the legendary hero Erdrick, slayer of Malroth, hated by his dad.
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:53:09 PM

What are you, a stand-up comic or something? 'Cuz, I gotta say, I've heard worse act introductions...

Huzzah
kablammin45 Not as tiny as the name would suggest from the Wumpa Islands Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Not as tiny as the name would suggest
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:54:43 PM

(The coral snake pops up between two seated patrons.)

Who? Who? (He looks around excitedly (his tiny tricorn hat nearly slipping off his head). He sounds fairly young.)

Uka Uka and Cortex want Tiny get Crystals, and bring them to big coliseum in Rome. Crash! Leave them for Tiny, or Crash get CRUSHED!
TalesofUnder THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF from The Murder Hotel Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:57:04 PM

ďWait, this is Inmundo? I thought this was Melee Island!Ē

I was helping someone load his van He threw me in, now here I am
shrubBird AAAAAAAAA from the depths of hell. Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
AAAAAAAAA
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:59:34 PM

The boy hears the panic and mention of the ďFunnybones.Ē Not wanting to take any chances, he runs into the bar to hide.

If I don't clash, I don't change. The world ends at my borders, and the best moments slip away.
hanwen1234 Mad Dog of Shimano
Mad Dog of Shimano
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:01:13 PM

She racks the slide on her Glock, loading a round into the chamber. "Might as well deal with 'em while we can."

"Let's go, KIRYU-CHAN!"
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:01:23 PM

Intrigue, confusion, fear, and violence. Those are four reactions to expect to amateur stand-up comedy. If you'd like, mister, I could offer up some pointers on how to sell yourself more! I knew a stand-up comic once.

Edited by TacoBadger on Dec 27th 2018 at 11:01:44 AM

Huzzah
Beverly The Hero from the Relationship Status: A teenager in love
The Hero
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:09:47 PM

"Don't you all understand?!" His panicked tone amplifies his voice even more. "They'll pillage this place! Steal its money, its alcohol, and they'll kill anyone in their way!"

And then a loud footstep can be heard behind him.

And another.

And another...

With every step, the man gets more freaked and panicked, until...

In walks a woman not at all looking like a pirate. Or a skeleton, for that matter. In fact, she looked pretty ordinary. A regular t-shirt, regular jeans, regular flip-flops. Her ginger hair reaching the back of her neck.

Seems pretty regular.

The woman looks at the panicked man, then the lady with a gun, then the kid hiding. Then the dude talking about stand-up, for some reason.

"... What's up?"

Allen, descendant of the legendary hero Erdrick, slayer of Malroth, hated by his dad.
TalesofUnder THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF from The Murder Hotel Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
THE CAVEMAN! HEíS THE SHERIFF
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:10:50 PM

ďHi, dame! Iím a mighty pirate, but donít fall for me: Iím married.Ē

I was helping someone load his van He threw me in, now here I am
hanwen1234 Mad Dog of Shimano
Mad Dog of Shimano
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:18:09 PM

"Some crazy group that's apparently feared around here is coming. Don't think they'll last against a good perforation courtesy of my Glock."

"Let's go, KIRYU-CHAN!"
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:19:43 PM

Do you have a job? My cousin's looking for a job, and he's pretty good at most things. Unless... oh shoot-

He turns to Melvin, Were you talking about like piratey jobs or something? 'Cuz she might not have a piratey job for you...

Huzzah

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