"Damn, sounds like a crazy birth story. Also, is vat what you call a pu-"
(Chey quickly gives Sonny the rent money and escorts him to the door.)
"Jeez, Mrs. Prefect! Don't be bogus!"
"Well, for starters, I don't want Delilah to be exposed to that kind of language,"
"Y'know your friends swear around her, right?"
"...crap, I forgot about that."

"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."

   Yeah, don't expose the kid to dirty words like I dunno, fuckin "landlord".   

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

"So true. Imagine if our young, impressionable youth was aware of such vile curses such as "l*ndl*rd" or "r*nt"."

"Well, I really don't wish for her first word to be a bad word... Oh god, I sounded like a Karen."

"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."

Out of sheer annoyance, I slam the door open, and loudly yell a bunch of curse-packed insults before throwing some licorice sweets at them, and slamming the door.

"Listen up, Marina, because this is SUPER important. Whatever you do, don't eat th“ “DON'T EAT WHAT?! Your text box ran out of space!”

Meanwhile, Fuzzy is panicking in his room.

"Seriously, we all want this to be over, no more annoying subplots!"

Right as he says that, some kind of makeshift door appears in his room. He opens the door to see Peppy tied up on chair with some of his (and Fuzzy's) stuff on fire all around him. On the floor is a message in scrawly paint writing:

"THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY HOW SORRY I AM."

Hey 🅱️eter

"I know, can we just move on to the next episode already? My RL self is supposed to be sleeping and I can't really post..'K, maybe I am braking too many walls."

"Listen up, Marina, because this is SUPER important. Whatever you do, don't eat th“ “DON'T EAT WHAT?! Your text box ran out of space!”

"Are you not familiar with Webcomic Time?" Sylvi asks Delibirda. "There's no correlation between your external whatever person needing to sleep and your state in here."

It suddenly gets a thoughtful look on its face, ears twitching. "Unless you wanted that kind of fourth-wall correlation to be your gimmick. That's a thing that could happen, maybe."

Trouble Cube continues to be a general-purpose forum for those who desire such a thing.

"I'm not usually one to insult the very concept of a sleep schedule...but, BAH!"

Edited by SomeLibre on Aug 11th 2021 at 5:43:06 PM

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

   How about this?! We just say fuck it, we end this off with some undisclosed group activity where we all sort of say "man, this adventure was kinda fucked", and leave it off at that?! Is that good with everyone?! Good. Last words before you all can go fuck off and die?   

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

"This adventure was indeed, fucked. We can fuck off, but dying is unnecessary."

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

I enter, riding a beat-up looking Keyblade Glider, which slows and sputters to a stop as I approach the Tropers. I stumble off of it, and fall to my hands and knees, coughing up blood. I am covered in dirt and scars, and there are twigs and leaves all up in my hair.

"That is the last time I let a duck take me out to dinner."

she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster

"If you kill me, I can just come back because sitcom magic.... and no, you can't try it."

Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside

Gun just sighs at After, and heads into the ship.    Hope I never meet you assholes again. Or hope I do. Depends on my mood next time.    He heads off, as the ship teleports away.

And with that:

[End Episode.]

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

Stinger

"....man, fuck this. I got the rent so I'm outta here. You crazy people never fail to surprise me."
(Sonny then leaves and slams the door.)

"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."

"Welcome to Tropesburg, Sonny."

Tropers: The Series! Season 8, Episode 9: The Maltese Soda Cans

We begin with a cut to Tropesburg's local news station, with breaking coverage. The screen is covered with red lettering: BREAKING NEWS. BREAKING NEWS. BREAKING NEWS.

Framed by the lettering, a crowd is shown gathering around City Hall. People push and shove each other aroun, as if they had formed a mosh pit. It doesn't exactly help that the City Hall is framed by glowing neon lights, spotlighting the government officials standing right by the podium. The officials stand in cahoots with another group of suits, all sharing jackets embroidered with two large orbs, and in vertical lettering between the two, the initals "BJB INC."

From this group of well dressed officials, one person walks up to the podium. A pale skinned person with messy blue hair with red streaks, tied up in a ponytail. Their outfit is just as formal as the others, with a black collared shirt and black dress pants. However, they remain distinct from the others with their platform boots and flowing trench coat, both of which have red LED trims. The news station labels them as Madame Butterfly Knife, Vice Mayor of Tropesburg.

"Hello, citizens. You may have heard the rumors. In order. No, we have not sold the city to insectoid aliens. No, our grand mayor Taco Badger is not on the market for hot singles. And even if he was, no one here has a damn chance, you know!"

"But this last rumor, that the city is banning soda...that is true! Starting today, all sales of soda are to be banned from this city entirely! That's right, no soda bottles or cans, or anything! And with the backing of our city's new sponsors, Big Juicy Balls Inc., a great juice company selling juice in orb form...we are truly on our way to creating a better Tropesburg. If you have questions...go shove them up your ass."

With that, Knife opens up their cyborg wings, and flies away from the press conference dramatically, leaving the others to be pelted by empty cans and bottles of soda by the angry crowd.

A montage begins: rioters demanding their freedom to carbonation, scenes of soda being poured into lakes by the Tropesburg police, a graph from Big Juicy Balls Inc. showing increasing profits...

And then the screen goes black. We cut to the Tropesburg Vice Mayoral Office, a messy place full of files and mechanical devices. The camera turns to nife standing dramatically, looking out a window. There is a knock on the door.

Knife walks to the door, and is greeted with one of their identical siblings, Bowie, dressed in full Tropesburg officer uniform, handing them a file. "You need to see this, Butterfly. But...you cannot tell anyone about this. I am here for one reason only. To tell you: dispose of this. The word cannot get out about this.

Knife nods.

And the theme sequence begins.

---

Post theme sequence, the scene cuts to the Tropers' apartment, with Knife walking inside, holding the file. "Hey, you pricks! I got something here that everyone's going to hear about! This is not a request."

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

"...what is it, Knife?"

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

"Just a second, I forgot my head in the sink.... alrighty, that's better. What is it?"

Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside

...That wasn't a lot of enthusiasm. Come on, assholes! I deserve a standing ovation for this! Where's the cheering and such?

The CLM gives off one awkward laugh. Knife punts it.

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

The Taco Jr. milk bottle is present, left out on accident. Its eyes turn to Knife.

Huzzah

"...also did Taco Jr. chicken out on us whilst we went off to buy milk? Yeesh..."

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

Christ, that bottle freaks me out-look! You all know the fucking mi-soda! Dammit, I hate that thing. Anyways, the soda ban, right? Well...there's a little something that got through the cracks. And if we get our hands on it? We're gonna be set for life! Or at least, as long as the ban lasts.

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

"...wait? Soda ban? You mean even the more wacky stuff like Ramune got fucked by it too?"

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

The seals are downing their morning bowls of cereal when Knife enters. "Right, yes. The soda ban."

"Incidentally, what's your stance on ketchup? Is it, legally speaking, a soda?"

Edited by aPod-ofSeals on Aug 11th 2021 at 9:53:07 AM

Data is imaginary. This burrito is real.