The most generic flamewar

Post a video of women in high heels stomping on baby animals.

Posts an altered pic of a baby hippo stomping's head.

A newbie comes in, sees this, and nopes right out of the thread.

Insults by calling them a pussy and various homophobic slurs because how dare someone chooses not to take part in pointless drama.

Several personal insults tofor suggesting this is pointless.

A random creep comments how he'd still fuck the women in the video - especially if they roared like lionesses and tried to struggle against (sic). Posts a trollface image macro. Claims, actually managing to come across as hypercasual and completely non-ruffled, that he's commenting on a friend's old soon-to-be-disposed computer from behind several proxies and anonymizers.

Calmly reposts screenshots of attempts to dox , adding that he can run but he can't hide.

Sarcastic reply.

Reminder that sarcasm usually doesn't translate well on the internet, goes on rant about the difference between sarcasm and irony, veers off into mini rant on the misuse of lead (pronounced led) as the past tense of lead (pronounced leed), says that anyone who can't get that right should have their brain removed, you're obviously not using it anyway. Gets back to sarcasm and irony, calls Alanis Morissette a moron for that "ironic" song where nothing is ironic, can understand why Dave left her. Several later posters don't get the reference, I tell them to Google it.

Asks a purely rhetoric question whether he's doing "that" (?) again.

Tells he should know that we (unspecified who I'm pretending to speak on behalf of) are "all" tired of 's (unspecified) bullshit.

Asks if he's just being stubborn or doesn't just get it into his skull that no one (again, assuming to speak on behalf of unspecified others) is interested in what he has to say, implies (before just outright explying) he's causing ill feelings in people (without specifying what he's said that's so obnoxious).

Insists that of course these unspecified people can't message him directly about what's bothering them about his supposed undesirable, unacceptable conduct since they don't feel anything gets through to him (worded in a "no wonder if..." -form and in a manner that's seemingly somewhat milder and less forceful)... so these same people have apparently asked me to do it instead (?) because reasons. Just please be swayed by this barrage of words and the implication I'm voicing what others wish to say. Don't consider I'm capitalizing on what may be my opinion maybe shared by few (if any) others, just to be a manipulative dipshit, okay?

Insists repeatedly in the implicit name of honesty (while making loud noise how "I wish I didn't need to say any of this" and "I wouldn't like to say this", though "I have to", and "please understand it kinda plains me to even have to say this" and other things I expect everyone to just buy "as much as it feels bad for me to say this", "hopefully even worse" than for supposedly) that isn't as engaging, intelligent and socially skilled as he thinks (this latter part is worded in a more indirect way that's still on the very edge of social acceptability, not forgetting the "but" -part) and he can stop.

Implies it would be better if didn't lash out like he's allegedly done (a presumptuous, baseless allegation I wish others go along with) and took some time to figure things out for himself. Says in an insincere (but in my own expectation sufficiently convincing) manner how I'd hate it if was to end up banned or blocked (nevermind I'm not a mod myself; maybe I'm insinuating I have a power to get the mods do my bidding, which I may or may not really do) and I totally, totally want to get a lot of good done. Repeats the presumptuous pseudo-compassionate bullshit allegation needs to work on himself (implying he needs to exit the forums) for his own best.

Says I don't know what is really thinking he's accomplishing, but (says in an unnecessarily verbose way) he can get a lot of good done.

And this all totally isn't being said to tool or make him look worse or win cheap cred at his expense or anything like that, oh no, why'd you even think that? Surely there's no reason for any of that, right? I was just trying to be diplomatic and civil. You (whoever happens to challenge or question me) are the one being rude/snide/tactless/belligerent/aggressive/provocative/passive-aggressive/incivil/obnoxious/whatever other negative adjective comes to use. You are the one trying to raise up conflict.

Comments how sad and pathetic that a seven year old () thinks he can pretend to be a grownup by using a lot... and I mean a lot... of big words and phrases he obviously got from the most condescending movie and TV characters from shows he's too young to really understand. Points out several misused words in 's post, paraphrases Princess Bride quote, (You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.)

feigns ignorance, confusion, dismay and anger about why 's responded like he has and keeps trying to make him look like an unreasonable, immature ass. Says I've tried to be diplomatic. Asks "dear friend" () if he really believes that's an appropriate way to respond to someone coming to him trying to settle the matters directly and not interested in attacking him (in the "you don't..., do you?" -form) before saying no one's attacked him and there's no need to be up in arms (implying baselessly that he is hypervigilant, socially paranoid and non-desired company). Keeps implying his "rudeness" and "aggressive" behavior is unwarranted, over-the-top and out of bounds without directly saying this at any point, just letting the implications reek of the text.

Comments that I'm [insert some age around 30], thank you very much.

Ends up giving a short paragraph of lecturing about the difference between interpretation and reality (again, implicitly denying I was being subtly provocative in the first place).

Complains about the residents of (town) being mean vandals who destroy cars. Posts pictures of destroyed car to prove point... ends up outing self as a flat-earther because the car is decorated with homemade bumper stickers saying "EARTH IS FLAT," "Google 200 proofs," and "Research it!"

Eventually goes off on a tangent feebly trying to justify the Earth's apparent flatness using every argument in the book, then wanders from that point detailing all the additional conspiracies the poster believes, progressively getting more and more ridiculous, before eventually culminating in claiming all of Cornwall is a spaceship.

Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Oct 12th 2018 at 9:15:13 AM

Says that claiming the Earth is flat is dumb, but agrees that Cornwall is a spaceship and claims that I know the date it will take off, doing everything short of outright telling people to ask me when.

Someone comes in and greets with his first name and skillfully calls him out on his clever BS - only to demand he pay his debts since "the deadline's gone already" and insist he "can't run forever". Neither this poster or are ever heard of again, except maybe mentioned in passing rumours (and maybe mentioned with brief insults or otherwise unflattering descriptions).

Bizarre Conspiracy Theory that implicitly relies on the completely unstated but apparently vital assumption that George Soros is one of the Koch brothers. Accusations that anyone who points out this isn't the case is in on it.

Keysmash of unclear intent that adds nothing to the conversation

Thanks for speaking up "the truth" in face of persecution (which this commenter seems to have mistaken for ridicule about absurd theories) and shoehorns in links the theory with own conspiracy theories about the deep state, false flags, Hitler faking his death and escaping to plot a new uprising, breakaway civilizations, UFOs, false flags with the end goals of combatting aliens, the moon landing, ancient astronauts, out-of-place-artifacts and some recent debunked theory.

Defends the flat earther a few times.

Crosslinks to some sources, but the more credible ones are about some unrelated incidents that in no way prove any of the theories (but the commenter references this sarcastically as if sarcasm proves anything). Other links are shady conspiracy blogs, some of them linking to other shady conspiracy blogs. Some other blogs are not obviously or overtly conspiracist, but phrase things in favor of conspiracy theorizing.

Uses phrases like "science kabal", "science mafia", "science bullies", "unquestioning scientism" and "narrow-minded scientism", keeps painting science as a religion and a belief system (instead of, you know, the method of investigation), makes vague complaints about alleged attempts at "suppressing freedom of speech" and "silencing dissenters", talks insultingly about New Atheists because reasons, constantly references paleo-SETI "research" and advocates for ditching EVIL SCIENTISM.

Agrees withabout Hitler escaping, claims his doctors in Argentina gave him youth pills to slow down his aging, and that he is now in the White House, saying that mostly because I knowis a Trumptard, and that's sure to piss him off, something that amuses me to do.

Says that would be amazing and that I wish it was true.

Another conspiracy theorist crawls out of the woodwork.

He starts by "admonishing" for being narrow-minded and positing that by so doing proved 's statements of people being shunned and persecuted for their dissenting views are true (somehow). He asks & if they really believe all is as it seems (in one mid-long paragraph repeating this in forms of statements, of statements almost sounding like questions and of questions, all this in slightly different phrasings).

These conspiracy theories posit that Israeli Mossad was behind 9/11 (with photos full of drawn arrows pointing at random things as "proof" and computer generated images supposed to look like they're calculating things that don't add up, but are just confusing as hell). Following right after is a slew of counterjihad conspiracy theories including of mass immigration and of Muslims trying to outbreed the populations of host countries while seducing non-Muslims to their cause and taking over as much land as possible all as the synchronized hivemind apparently, except Israel and/or Mossad (?) is apparently behind these, too, somehow.

Also, Mossad and Israel are said by this bloke to be the puppetmasters behind ISIS and communism said to be directly related to and borne out of the Abrahamic religions, all of these a part of millenia-long vague plot to replace, obscure, suppress and eradicate collective true spiritual consciousness.

And the kicker isn't even repeating Hitler faking his death and escaping undercover, but that Hitler did it with help from Satan himself - Hitler and Satan being portrayed as heroes against the vile plots of the cabal consisting of Christianity, Judaism, Islam and communism.

Expresses disappointment in says that maybe other Abrahamic religions are bad but my tiny sect is behind all good in the world. Also annoyed about implication of Hitler/Satan team up, as it implies to me that Hitler did something wrong.

Another sarcastic reply about , , and 's comment.

A religious believer enters the fray to go all preachy-bonkers rebuke all other posters for "such utter display of malice, hate, vileness, poor reasoning and foul language" crossing over to over-the-top cheesiness very fast. This is before he asserts that all this (repetition of what he just said, only a few words shorter and a few other words have swapped places) has resulted in derailment of what this thread was supposed to be originally about. Linking to the first ever reply to the original thread-starter this believer goes on to write a dozen of mid-length comments full of virtual dickwaving different kinds of pro-religion apologetics and self-righteous, self-congratulatory smugness reminders how we all should totally live in the spirit of love, forgiveness and truth in spite of anyone, who dares so much as question the commenter's philosophy or live by any slightest bit differing doctrine/philosophy/belief system the spiritually dead trying to lead astray from the truth.

Pulls out every anti-religious argument he can think of, just to piss off . Tells this is the wrong place for that sanctimonious bullshit, and if he can't play nasty like the other kids, then piss off. Also scolds several previous posters for their verbosity, adds TL;DR.