Epic Rap Battles of Historyyyyyyy!

Who would be a good opponent for Jackie Chan?

Jet Li

They were both active around the same time and for a while the two biggest living name in the whole "Asian Martial Artist Movie".

Yeah, but that feels a little too predictable, I was thinking of pitting him up against some other action movie actor, like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hm. If were going with the angle of action movie star thatcan do comedy...maybe Rock the Dwayne Johnson?

Edited by CryoJNik on Feb 5th 2020 at 3:36:35 AM

Tom Cruise would be a fun one.

I feel like Jackie Chan would be pitted against another Jackie, like Jackie Robinson or Jackie Gleason.

Jackie Chan vs. Jackie Gleason has a potential for a good angle, with them both having extensive experience with comedy.

Season 5

• George R.R Martin vs J.R.R Tolkien
• Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child
• Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson
• James Bond vs Austin Powers
• Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner
• Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible
• Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton
• Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin
• Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder
• Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretsky
• Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill
• Peter vs Lloyd 2

favorite portrayal: Roosevelt and Churchill

best diss:

• Teddy [1]
• "We don't need the backstory on every f-cking tree branch!"
• "I said that I respect your children but that wasn't quite right, yo! Lookin like some extras from American Psycho!"
• "The fits that you're pitching make you the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!''"
• "I'm just sayin they need to put an asterisk next to your name!"

favorite background music:

• Martin vs Tolkien
• Roosevelt vs Churchill
• Hawk vs Gretzky
• Jefferson vs Douglass
• Ketchum vs Darwin

• favorite rapper this season: Epic LLOYD

Edited by Soble on Mar 2nd 2020 at 9:21:22 AM

Banner VS Jenner is probably the worst ERB of them all.

My favorite of the season is probably Martin vs Tolkien, but season 5 is probably the weakest of ERB. Banner vs Jenner was stupid all-around (starting with the fact comparing Bruce turning into a monster to someone transitioning and ending with Hulk barely gets any lines in).

There's a problem with balance and use of characters in the overall season. Douglass curbstomps Jefferson (and it's great, but it's a symptom of a larger issue), Bond vs Powers ends up wasting Powers despite his amazing first verse, Alexander the Great royale ends with the weakest rapper of them all (Catherine) getting a auto-tuned curbstomp at the end, Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton tries to play bothsideism by mildly equating a orange fascist with Hillary Clinton, Roosevelt vs Churchill uses Churchill's actual accomplishments very poorly and leans to Roosevelt way too much, e.t.c.

Hawk vs Gretzky, Wonder vs Wonder, Martin vs Tolkien, Peter vs Lloyd 2, Ash vs Darwin and Ramsay vs Child are the ones I feel somewhat work in their totality and that's a ratio of 5 to 6. Between those, only Wonder vs Wonder, Martin vs Tolkien and Ramsay vs Child really hooked me (Professor Oak vs Charles Darwin would have been cooler).

I still find myself saying "I got the prose of a pro / your shit's subpar / You're a pirate / You even stole my R.R.!" playfully when discussing Tolkien and Martin (I like them both, but prefer Tolkien, and the prose commentary is basically a exaggeration of why I lean to Tolkien). Julia Child's ridiculously shrill voice is just amazing to me ("oh please, your defeat's guaranteed / I got this in the bag / SOUS VIIIIIDE!") and the way they coordinate the cooking is pretty awesome (still love Child casually deflecting a stale bread thrown by Ramsay with a frying pan).

Wonder vs Wonder has the legendary diss of ages: "You couldn't walk in my shoes / so stick to your reboots / WITH PLOTS SO THIN EVEN I CAN SEE THROUGH!". Absolute murder.

Ramsay vs Child is probably my favorite of the season. I love a lot of the small visual gags (Ramsay making his assistant panics, the weird name of his shows, Child cutting lard and taking the bigger half, de-feathering a chicken with a mallet)

I have to admit, I never even watched the Trump vs Clinton or the Jenner vs Banner ones. :/

Ash V Darwin kind of surprised me. And I dont care how disliked in general Ash is, he won that one. "TB and Scarlet Fever, Gotta Catch 'em All!" Is a far more cutting line than "Heh heh, Oak Banged your Mom."

I mostly watch Trump vs Hillary for the Lincoln bits

Yeah I dont think trump vs hilary is bothsiding, they complain about some stuff of her but they hold more for trump.

And I will said this...I like trump rhyme better, if only because rap battle then to favour mutherfucker who dosent hold back at all and is style that serve trump better.

Also they really nail is sleeziness and creepiness perfectly.

and "your bill is worst than cosby" is a great line.

Hawk versus Gretzky is OK, but the final diss explains the fundamental problem with the fight.

The great evil of this modern era is that someone, somewhere might have the gall not to beat you over the head with your own professed beliefs.

Edited by TwinBird on Mar 2nd 2020 at 1:58:32 PM

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, that pretty much came out of nowhere.

I think steve vs wonder woman was a mistake, aside of having wonder is not a fair match up and it feel it wasted diana.

Also, when we will see more marvel chararters? they already use the DC trio a this point.

I assume that the notion that Clinton vs Trump gets docked points because it doesn't inherently put Trump as the worse one at the outset is something he finds stupid.

I have to agree. Sure, it's very popular to villainize Trump because he's a huge dick, don't get me wrong, but Hillary also has a lot of material to make fun of. That and making Caitlyn Jenner talk the Hulk to death as a misguided attempt to win over the LGBT crowd feel like the two biggest missteps ERB has done.

I think comparing someone undergoing sex transition and someone turning into a city-leveling monster is where it goes wrong, not some misguided attempt at pandering. Well, that and the fact Jenner is a bit of shit example of a spokesperson for trans rights (her support for conservatives being a recurring thing), but the idea of making a LGBTQ-focused battle for the LGBTQ month is a laudable one. Should have just picked better the opponents.

Trying to portray Donald Trump, a sexist fascist demagogue wrapped around in loose flesh, and Hillary Clinton, regular politician with some dark spots in her history, as anywhere near the same league, is not. And I simply refuse to even pretend it is. The fact Abe's primary criticism for Hillary is a sexist critique of her apperance (the whole shebang on hillary's smile), doesn't help matters.

In general, I think ERB should abstain from direct political battles like this, because they have clearly shown they have no idea what they're doing.

In theory, an election presents an obvious duo to fight, but in practice I'm not particularly fond of either battle.

Who would be the political match-up this time?