Epic Rap Battles of Historyyyyyyy!

Forgive my ignorance, but would you mind explaining that one to me?

It's a reference to the isotope Uranium 235, which iirc is the element that gets split in a nuclear bomb. Since Oppen is infamous for his atomic work it's his way of saying he's gonna end Thanos; "Split him like I split this atom" so to speak.

It also works as a surface level math joke, since you can also split 5 into the whole numbers 2 and 3 without anything remaining.

Imo a really clever way to roll a threat, a reference to his work and an elementary school level math joke in one line.

Ahh, I see. Thanks!

I'm going to look back at every season of ERB and rank them arbitrarily.

Season 1

• Reily vs Lennon (S1)
• Vader vs Hitler (S1)
• Lincoln vs Norris (S1)
• Palin vs Gaga (S1)
• Hulk Hogan vs Kim-jong il (S1)
• Bieber vs Beethoven (S1)
• Einstein vs Stephen Hawking (S1)
• Genghis Khan vs Easter Bunny (S1)
• Napoleon vs Napoleon (S1)
• Benjamin Franklin vs Billy Mays (S1)
• Gandalf vs Dumbledore (S1)
• Seuss vs Shakespeare (S1)
• Mr T vs Mr. Rogers (S1)
• Columbus vs Kirk (S1)
• Lloyd vs Peter

Season 1 Winner: I'd have to go with Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays. Hogan vs Kim was a close-second because of Randy Savage appearing but Franklin and Mays was overall better.

• best moments: [1], [2], [3],[4],[5],[6]

• best portrayal: Randy Savage
  • honorable mention: Stephen Hawking
• best burn: 10,000,000,000 molecules in the universe
  • honorable mention: This is a rap rollercoaster and you're not even tall enough to ride!
  • honorable mention: you leave a classroom looking like the end of Macbeth
  • honorable mention: Nobody's gonna miss you cause all ya friends imaginary!
• most savage finisher: Kirk. Definitely Kirk.
• best music: Gandalf vs Dumbledore
• worst battle: Palin vs Gaga

Edited by Soble on Jan 22nd 2020 at 7:07:40 AM

Season 2

• Vader vs Hitler R2
• Chief vs Leonidas
• Mario Bros vs Wright Bros
• Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley
• Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe
• Bill Gates vs Steve Jobs
• Frankie Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury
• Doc Who vs Doc Brown
• Lee vs Eastwood
• Batman vs Sherlock Holmes
• Moses vs Claus
• Adam vs Eve
• Gandhi vs Martin Luther King
• Tesla vs Edison
• Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong
• Moztart vs Skrillex

Season 2 Winner: MJ vs Presley. Just adore the beat and the disses in this one, and the flipping of their wardrobes/personas. Pretty even between the two of them..

• best moments:

• best portrayal: Young MJ but Nikola Tesla and Skrillex were runner-ups
• best diss: oh god. Ohhhh hooo hooo god. Ohh boy. [17].
  • honorable mention: Presley - I kicked this one down after I heard the above
  • honorable mention: Cleopatra
  • honorable mention: Sinatra
  • honorable mention: Romney.
  • honorable mention: Claus
  • honorable mention: Snoop's entire verse here
  • honorable mention: Ruth
• most savage finisher: Lee vs Eastwood, again.
• best background music: Mozart vs Skrillex
• worst battle: Rasputin vs Stalin. Stalin's verse was the only part I really liked.

Edited by Soble on Jan 22nd 2020 at 9:56:56 AM

I'm gonna have to go for Freddie Mercury as my favorite performance for Season 2, even though he kicked Frank Sinatra's ass too hard for me to consider it as the best fight. "You think I haven't heard those words before? You're just a bully who's too afraid to go to war. You had a hit song called "My Way" but someone else wrote it. You're the least talented rat IN YOUR WHOLE PACK OF RODENTS!"

Personally, I REALLY love the start of Babe Ruth's second verse.

"It's the bottom of the 9th against the Texan in a bathing suit filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth. It may be way too soon, but I'm calling my shot, and I'm not talking about those Italian syringes you brought. The Sultan of Swat will knock you right out of the park and round the bases to the round of uproaring applause while you hang your head in shame and disgrace because you got lost and FORGOT WHAT REAL SPORTSMANSHIP WAS!"

It just has such a strong build-up, the verse flows along a relevant theme, and the ending just cuts so deep on such a personal level, coming across more like a genuine reprimanding than a rap diss.

Edited by PushoverMediaCritic on Jan 22nd 2020 at 9:53:29 AM

I'd probably put Gandhi Vs MLK Jr as my favorite of Season 2. I love how they battle through pacifism, Gandhi's final line is killer, as is the hug where they transition into each other's frame.

From the first my favorite might be Columbus vs Kirk due the sheer hilarious combo of Columbus being a massive Large Ham, the Shatner righteousness of Kirk enunciating every line like a madman and the epic chanting in the background. "I AM THE FABRIC OF HISTORY / YOU'RE JUST A FICTIONAL STAIN! / I'LL STICK A FLAG, UP YOUR ASS / AND CLAIM YOU FOR SPAIN!" might be my favorite line of that season.

My favorite of the second season is probably Lee vs Eastwood. "I'd beat you in round two / but that'd be unbelievable / no one in your family ever lives to see a sequel" is the most savage line in ERB history. I also like the very cinematic orchestral instrumental and the VHS filter the battle has.

I still think that Stan Lee vs Jim Henson was the best of the intended series finales.

Season 3: the season of epic finishers

• Vader vs Hitler Round 3
• Blackbeard vs Al Capone
• Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc
• Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso
• Michael Jordan vs Muhammad Ali
• Donald Trump vs Ebeneezer Scrooge
• Rick Grimes vs Walter White
• Goku vs Superman
• Stephen King vs Edgar Allen Poe
• Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye
• George Washington vs William Wallace
• Artists vs TMNT

• best portrayal: Stephen King [1]
  • runner-ups:
    • Isaac Newton [2]
    • Neil degrasse Tyson [3]
    • George Washington [4]

• best disses:
  • "Let me paint you a picture son, portrait of a bitch after world war 1"
  • Vader's verse
  • "Didn't Napoleon let you know? When you conquer Russia better pack some f-cking winter clothes?"
  • "I'm a busy man Captain Crunch so let me make this quick. I'm ruining pirates faster than Johnny Depp did"
  • "You're the PBS version of Nickelback!"
  • this exchange between Ali and Jordan
  • "Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan?"
    • 
  • "One more Superman who's never going to walk again!"
  • pretty much every line between King and Poe
  • "you wrote the book on gravity - but you couldn't attract no-body!"

• most savage finisher: I think King takes this season.
  • Vader
  • Capone
  • Ross
  • White
  • Goku
  • Tyson

• best background music: King vs Poe
• worst battle: Cyrus vs Arc. They're... they never hit their stride with the female rappers. Not until next season I think.

Best of Season 3: Wallace vs Washington. Good flow, excellent burns from both, evenly-matched. I'm not too familiar with either figure but the references to their histories were easy enough to follow that I could sense how much they were digging at each other, and there was a fine balance between hyping themselves up as much as absolutely ripping the other person apart.

• runner-up: Bob Ross vs Pablo Piccaso

best rapper: Hard call between Poe, Picasso, and Newton... but I'd have to go with Poe for that one fast verse. That sh-t was insane.

Edited by Soble on Jan 25th 2020 at 11:51:51 AM

There have been good female rappers. Off the top of my head, at least Catherine the Great and Joan Rivers. The worst one is definitely not that far off though.

I chalk it up to poor direction and planning and inexperience on the writer's and director's parts, not any fault of the actors and voice actors.

I worded that poorly. I meant they didn't hit their stride until the later seasons.

Arc vs miley was pretty much poor match up for the start, arc should have being reserve against other historical figure.

Also, when we will see marvel chararters? aside of deadpool and wolverine they havent use others, meanwhile they already use the big trio of DC.

As far as villains go, they just used Joker and Thanos.

Catherine the great I found way too autotuned. But there are some female rappers and battles I liked even early on, like Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe but even that one only kinda works (i.e it's about two famous sex symbols with a man-eater reputation, but it's kinda shit that the first real female battle is about sex appeal). Joan of Arc vs Cyrus is relatively well done in technical terms, but the premise of Joan of Arc vs Miley Cirus and the writing were simply misguided as they have essentially nothing in common aside from representing opposed ideals of femininity (virginal Joan and the more promiscuous Cyrus) but even that's a stretch. And it's really kind of bizarre and insulting to reduce Joan of Arc, whole religious and national icon, to that.

Joan's side of the battle I quite like though ("Je suis la fille en feu / call me katniss everdeen! / When it comes to bad bitches, I'm the patron saint!") .

From season 3, I have a strong soft spot for the Christmas Carol rap battle. It's a creative way to adapt the story I love the interplay between Scrooge and Trump/J.P Morgan/Kanye West/Death. West is kinda weak all things considered, but Morgan ("Don't panic Scrooge, but you're about to crash! / I'm J.P Morgan, the ghost of rich dudes past / who's properly-rocking-the-monopoly-moustache" just flows like butter) and Death ("Boo! You're gonna die / with no one to love you and no one to cry / alone by yourself on the bed of your death / with the stench of regret on your last dying breath!") are just fire.

I'm not sure there's been any one lyric I've liked better than Hawking's "there are ten million million million...". Something about the harmonies suddenly contrasting what came before.

Wallace vs Washington as the best of season 3? Really? I find one of those battles that's so mild its completely forgetable. I'd definitely give Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye or King Vs Poe as the best ones of season 3 imho.

I definitely think it'll take them a while to get female rappers done good. The two women in Bonnie and Clyde Vs Romeo and Juliet were very good, and I quite liked Catherine the Great. Though I also very much liked Julia Child too.

Edited by Ghilz on Jan 25th 2020 at 1:57:26 PM

I find newton vs nye very mild and underwelming, specially because I feel newton just trash both Bill and tyson.

Also I will said the joker is right: is entire rap make look the justice league as schubs

Season 4

• Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters
• Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde
• Zeus vs Thor
• Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter
• Oprha Winfrey vs Ellen De Generes
• Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock
• Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted
• David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini
• Terminator vs Robocop
• Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers
• Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar
• Jim Henson vs Stan Lee

• best portrayal: It's a tie between Jim Henson and the Terminator for me.
  • honorable mentions:
    • Michael Bay
    • Shaka Zulu [1]
    • Bill and Ted
• best disses: Henson [2]
  • Spielberg [3]
  • Lewis and Clark [4]
  • "I still love you Alex. Bullsh-t. Your sex life is terminated!"
  • "How dare you challenge my immortal throne? I'm the father of the gods - put ya daddy on the phone!"
  • "I will drop you like Greece's GDP!"
  • "Wrong. I have detailed files on the conclusion of your trilogy. That movie failed Detroit worse than the automotive industry!"
  • Juliet [5] [6]
  • Zulu [7]

• most savage finisher: Caesar
• best background music: Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers, easily
• worst battle: Oprah vs Ellen and Houdini vs Copperfield are tied because I knew precious little about them. A lot of the jokes went over me.

Best of Season 4: Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers. Sorry this one wins by default. Insane creativity, references are insane, Confucius's rapping, the number of participants, and the brilliant conclusion of both groups collapsing on their own philosophical differences

best rapper: Confucius

They were my second and third choices.

Edited by Soble on Jan 25th 2020 at 8:07:53 AM

Season 4 is probably my favorite season overall. A lot of my favorites comes from there: Robocop vs Terminator, Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter, Zeus vs Thor, Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar, Philosophers battle royale, the directors battle royale.

I'd probably clinch it towards Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter because its sinister, bone-chilling beat is my favorite of the entire series and the one I keep coming back to:

Also "I'm the bon vivant of violence / A licensed psychiatrist / who dines on higher society / to the sound of violins!". Magnificent.

Some other highlights of the season would be Robocop's "OCP gave me the skills to wreck this / I can't help it if I'm fresh / It's my PRIME DIRECTIVE!" (as the screen flashes Prime Directive: Be Fresh as Fuck) and Shaka Zulu's creative use of his army to fill his lines ("If you battle" "SHAKA!" "This will happen" "TO YOU!").

Edited by Gaon on Jan 25th 2020 at 3:09:59 AM

Season 4 is ERB at its best in my eyes. My favorite is probably East VS West because all six of them leave their mark.

"I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee" is still one of the most badass boasts ever.

Best Protrayal for season 4 not including Loyd's uncanny good Adam Savage make up is a crime. (Peter makes a decent Jamie too)

I do agree that season 4 is probably the strongest one. Other than Ellen V Oprah, the entire season is just very good.

Edited by Ghilz on Jan 25th 2020 at 6:57:50 AM