I'm normally the first person to complain about narrative tension, but for MLP that's just not what I watch the show for. From the beginning there was speculation that Celestia was a chessmaster who knew how events would pan out, so from day 1 I had to focus on other things to really enjoy myself.

So to me the answer of "if" they'll win is never really on my mind anymore. It's how they'll win, the interactions of the characters during the conflict and how close to victory the villain will come. It's why Shadow Play didn't bother me. Because to me the story wasn't about if they'd beat the Pony of Shadows, it was how they would do it, and what they could lose in managing it.

Edited by GNinja on Oct 13th 2018 at 7:47:19 PM

Isn't what you are describing narrative tension as well?

We don't know what the tree's angle is whenever it does something. So even if we know it's leading them down a path to victory, we don't know how they'll get there.

With MLP the fun is in the journey, not the destination for me.

Post of the Day #2303

Heads up guys! Because the finale is a two-parter, they're starting to air both on Discovery Family starting at 11 AM, NOT the usual 11:30 AM!

So, the finale is on. I'll need to rewatch it at some point when the blind reactors get to it. But I remember finding it ok. I didn't like it as much as the last few finales, but it did some interesting stuff and there are some real good scenes for certain characters.

Edited by GNinja on Oct 13th 2018 at 3:06:25 PM

Oh yes, the finale. That's going to be a long review.

Having rewatched the finale. The term I would use to describe Cozy is "Raw potential".

That's how she feels to me. She's a child who has the special talent of being a highly intelligent schemer, but her end goals aren't fully formed yet. She's rough around the edges. So she has a plan, and is excellent at executing it, but the plan itself is childish and dumb and shortsighted. She's driven by a dark heart and an insultingly childish philosophy that More friends = More power = I'm the best. She's dangerous in that her insane scheming, even in this raw form, almost ruined the world, not that she could've ever actually succeeded at becoming the Empress of Friendship.

She's someone who, a few years from now when she's had time to mature and refine what exactly she wants, could be absolutely terrifying. 

So after procrastinating all day, I'm finally watching the finale

• All this shilling of Cozy Glow is weird, especially since the previous episode already revealed her to be evil.

• Spike holding up the letter for Celestia is a neat touch

• I really hope Cozy Glow turns evil again soon, because she is REALLY annoying.

• And Cozy's coup begins. But she's still doing the annoying act. I wonder what happened to Starlight.

• Neighsay? Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that. It seems like it would detract from the Cozy Glow plot. Now I have no idea what is going to happen.

• Why are all the creatures in cages inside of Tartarus? Do people come to check on them? Otherwise they must get hungry and so on.

• I was expecting Sandbar to wink at the others or something to let them know what was up. But I guess this way sets up drama for when they meet again later, because heaven forbid anyone take the sensible option.

• And Cozy finally reveals her true colors. At least this means she won't be doing that annoying good guy voice anymore.

• So Cozy is just draining everything? There better be a good explanation for how she was able to do that. Maybe she was using an artifact, but in that case, you'd expect Twilight or Starswirl to know about it.

Edit: And now for part 2. Not much to say about it, but I think it was better mainly due to having less Cozy in it.

As for the finale over all, I think having an annoying villain undermined it a bit, but for all its flaws, I'll give it a billion points for taking the show's message to its logical conclusion and satirizing it. I never thought I'd see that sort of thing outside of maybe fanfics.

Edited by storyyeller on Oct 13th 2018 at 1:28:37 PM

I actually find Cozy's act funny. Because of how hard she's trying.

She actually kind of reminds me of Lesson Zero Twilight, going nuts in order to "make friends"

Post of the Day #2304

School Raze

Well, here it is, the season finale. After this, only one more season of this show. And with the pun on "School Daze", I fully expect to get some final showdown with Dracula.

It's Derpy for the opening, and... she flies right into the school. How do you even do that, Derpy?

And look who's there waiting to collect all the falling mail. If it wasn't for the last episode ending... I'd still be a little suspicious at how she was juuust in the right place to catch that mail. She was waiting for Derpy to intercept that mail.

It's a new foal... with rainbow hair! I don't think we've seen that outside of the Dash family. It's like the rarest mane colour around. Well, I say rainbow, but this one is rather more... neon. Also, the bands of colors don't really fit onto the hair, it is just sort of filled in. That seems a bit sloppy, but oh well.

Cozy is ALL over the school today. It's like she is jumping on every pony who remotely looks like they need help. She's being a bit agressively nice.

Rainbow Dash is going to substitute for Twilight? That should be fun.

"... and catalogued all the magical artifacts in the school. *gasp* I hope that's okay?" That's... very specific.

I don't think I WOULD trust Cozy even without prior hints. She's just a little too sacharine for this show. Like she wandered out of the Girl-Show Ghetto.

Rainbow Dash is giving a tour of the Weather Factory, but everyone is too distracted by the view. I mean, can you blame them? Also, poor Yona is terrified. This clearly is not the kind of school that lets you off the hook for being scared of soemthing.

Also, remember when non-pegasi walking on the clouds was something special that required powerful magic? Now everyone's doing it with ease. I'm not sure if that's progress in pony magic or just convenient writing.

Ocellus says she's never walked on a cloud before, but... she's a Changeling. She can fly. Can Changelings not walk on clouds? I can't imagine there's much difference when you can hover midair anyway.

And then Yona falls through a cloud. Because she's fat, get it? It's a fat joke. Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, this isn't the first fat joke on this show.

Also, why would she only fall through the cloud AFTER someone pays attention to her?

And No OSHA Compliance strikes again! This would be a lawsuit at least in real life.

I count... six creatures with flappers around that hole, and they ALL just stand there gawking after Yona as she plummets to her death. Including Dash, the Wonderbolt. The same Dash who did not hesitate a second when it was Rarity falling.

Not ALL of them are shocked, though. Starlight looks more annoyed than anything else.

Then Starlight remembers she can do magic, and... it doesn't work. And then the other non-flyers fall thorugh the cloud.

"Come on. We gotta catch them." You could have already been halfway down, Dash. What ARE you guys waiting for?

This scene looks like it wouldn't have been out of place in a movie opener. It's pretty filmic.

"It's okay, Yona. You like flying, remember?" Celestia's fiery bottom, I hope Yona tells them off right then and there. That is NOT something you want to hear after nearly plummeting to your death. Also, instant airbrakes on those wings.

"Flying, not falling." You tell 'em, Yona!

"It's like my spell stopped working. That's... never happened before." Really? That never happens to unicorns? That doesn't seem very likely, somehow. I can't imagine unicorn spells last indefinitely, especially not for regular unicorns.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, Starlight. Maybe you did your spell wrong." The Princess of Friendship strikes again! Ouch, Twilight.

Everyone's magic is dissapearing. Unicorn magic, that is. Pegasi seem to be doing fine, for now.

"Magic can't just dissapear." It can't? I don't know. It's magic, after all, it can do whatever it wants, basically.

"Didn't we learn in class about a creature that eats magic?" Tirek. It was Tirek. There is no way you don't know that name. Especially not since EVERYONE in Equestria lost their magic to Tirek, in person, that time. If there is ONE villain every pony in Equestria knows about, it's goddamn Tirek. You don't forget a thing like that.

And even then, what pony would NOT know about these villains? Other creatures, I could maybe buy, but come on, Cozy, what are you trying to sell, here? There's no way you DON'T know Tirek.

Spike is choking on a magic letter that won't come out. We haven't had this sort of Spike-related comedy in many seasons.

"It's from Princess Celestia." No. DUH. Spike. Who ELSE would it be from? Who ELSE sends you magical letters through fire vomit express?

I also really want to know how THAT conversation went, what with using Spike as a living mail box.

Also, how is Celestia sending magic messages if her magic is failing?

"Star Swirl believes the power will drain from our lands in three days." Based on what, I wonder. It seems to be draining a whole lot faster than that.

Also, Spike is holding the letter for Celestia to read. While flying. Spike's such a good servant assistant, isn't he?

So on the first day, spells will fail, on the second, creatures will lose their magical abilities, and on the third, magical artifacts will stop working. Again, how does Star Swirl know this in advance? The way Twilight dismissed it straight away suggests that this is not something that's happened before, so how could he possibly know? He must have read the script.

"The magic in our world will be gone, forever." Very melodramatic, but again, how can you be so sure of this? You don't even know what is causing it or how it works yet.

This scene would have worked better if Star Swirl was here to throw some ancient lore at us or something. And, you know, tell them in person. Clearly they didn't have the budget for the VA.

"But why is it happening now?" "That's the worst part. We have no idea." Then how do you even know what is going to happen?

"Has anypony checked on Tirek?" He is obviously a red herring. Besides, Tirek doesn't, you know, steal magic from a distance. He gets in your face and sucks it right out of your mouth. If it was Tirek, you would know. I mean, weren't you guys there when he stole YOUR magic? Has everyone forgotten how Tirek works, already? Clearly the writer did not think this through.

What about Discord? He would be a far more obvious suspect, and Cozy definitely knows about him. But I suspect this episode will stubbornly ignore him so as to not interfere with the plot. Just like the movie.

"That is the best explanation so far." No, it isn't. There are many, many ways unicorn magic can be tampered with or lost. Anything from Poison Joke to magic-absorbing crystals and green goo, to particularly powerful spells, to literal reality warping gods. At this point, it could be ANYTHING.

"We'll go." "Oh, no no no no. Not without us, you wo- wait, did you say "we"? Um. Yes? Was there ever any doubt? They've been through this whole "I must go alone" thing LONG ago. And even back then, it was VERY rarely an issue. Where does this sudden conflict over Twi wanting to go alone even come from? Does the writer even KNOW these characters? This scene makes me seriously doubt it.

"I finally learned that it is okay to count on your friends for help." Bwuh? What? What in Equestria are you talking about? You learned that lesson, like, eight years ago. You learned that lesson in the SECOND episode of this show, for Celestia's sake. What kind of glue are these writers sniffing? When was it even set up that Twilight suddenly needed to learn this lesson? This doesn't make a lick of sense.

"Um, you do want to come, right?" What. Who are these ponies, and what have they done to the mane six? Do they want to come...

"Uh, duh!" Yeah, what she said! What have you been smoking, Twilight? OF COURSE they will come with you.

"Be careful. Tartarus has changed since you were there. It now holds many dangerous creatures." Uh... didn't it ALWAYS contain dangerous creatures? Isn't that the whole POINT of it being TARTARUS? How is that "changed"? It was a magical prison before Tirek was put there, and it is still a magical prison, now. And what do you mean, "since you were there"? You've NEVER been there, as far as I know.

"And you won't be able to rely on your magic." "With her friends by her side, she won't have to." Speaking of magical prison dimensions, HOW are they going to get there without magic? Or out, should it come to that?

"Maybe I should just close the school and send my students home?" Well, with ALL the teachers out and a national crisis brewing, that might not be such a bad idea. Schools here close for far less.

"Will you go save Equestria already." Who are you, her mom? And why aren't YOU coming along, Starlight? Seventh ranger, my ass...

"Okay, Cozy packed us all up for a trip to bad guy central." Why. Why would this fall to Cozy, in particular? Aren't these grown mares perfectly capable of preparing themselves, if not MORE so than Cozy?

Or else it'd be Spike's job, I guess. Wait. This WAS Spike's job. Before Starlight took it. And now Cozy is taking it. Are they going to pull a Starlight on us with Cozy? Luna's stars, I hope not. She's way too syruppy sweet for this show as is.

Cozy seems really put out that Starlight stays behind. Clearly, they are ALL supposed to go off to Tartarus.

"Plus, she will have you to help her." "Oh, golly, yes." My cavities are aching. Wow, is that pony saccharine.

Also, I wouldn't trust anyone who goes "Oh, golly, yes" like that. It is insincere as all Tartarus. Gullible ponies...

Notice the cutie mark, by the way. A red chess piece. It just screams master manipulator.

And then the following day Starlight dissapears, leaving a note that she had to go help her friends. Yeah, she's been captured by miss saccharine here, no doubt about it.

Smoulder is instantly suspicious. Suspicious at Starlight suddenly leaving without saying anything to them in person, that is. Not at Cozy Glow, a fellow student, mind you, being suddenly left in charge.

"Oh, Smoulder, did you forget? We're not school dragons, we're ponies. Sounds like some creature needs to do some extra friendship homework." Wow. And there's the racism again. Gotta love that hug Cozy gives herself at that "we're ponies" part, too. That's the most adorable master race gesture I've ever seen.

And then the other students insist on also doing homework. Instead of, you know, protesting the unfairness of it, or just not taking guff from a freaking foal. I mean, why are they even being so deferential to her?

Tartarus is apparently a place you can just walk to, now. Last time, it was like a different dimension that you needed a magical portal for to access or leave. Once again, the writers show a baffling lack of knowledge of the show's lore.

"Where is my magic?" Sigh, there's crybaby Rarity again. She used to be much better than this... whining.

"Have you tried using your tail to shoo them away?" Horse humor! Also, that sounds more like advice an Earth pony would give, especially Apples there. How come Twilight is adapting to not using magic just fine, but Rarity is a whiny wreck? Again, it's hardly the first time something like this has happened. Once again, Rarity is written as a weak damsel that cracks under the slightest pressure.

"They must have gone bad without magic to keep them cold." Horrors! They'll have to resort to... grass!

Surely they could have brought some food that wouldn't perish without magical refrigeration?

"Magic this, magic that. You don't need magic to go on a little hike." Says the Pegasus who magically controls the weather. Cue thunderstorm.

"I think we have all the magic we need right here." Cozy is rubbing off on you, Twi, you're getting all sappy, too.

Meanwhile, some of the pony students are already considering Cozy THE headmare, and wouldn't mind if Twilight didn't come back. Wow. Ponies have NO loyalty. Don't let Rainbow hear about that.

"You get the feeling Cozy's trying too hard to make us like her?" I know, right? She gives me the creeps. She's being a bit too nice and cute. If someone's acting THAT sweet, more like than not that you're being buttered up.

The Students catch Cozy coming out of the catacombs, and somehow Cozy does not hear them talk. Is offscreen deafness a trope? I feel it should be a trope.

The mane six meanwhile discover that the seal to Tartarus is still unbroken, so Tirek didn't escape. No surprise there.

Of course they can't get in without magic. Really? REALLY? You didn't think of this BEFORE you left for Tartarus? Celestia and Luna did not see this coming? Miss plan-ahead-for-planning didn't see this coming? Again the writers seem to have forgotten just who Twilight is, and are coming up with rather unlikely plot contrivances to get the mane six out here.

"These ARE magic, but not the kind we're looking for, I'm afraid." Because she is the fashion pony, remember? That's all she is, now the fragile fashion pony that is NO use in a crisis at all. Ugh...

"How about this?" "The Key of Unfettered Entrance. Where did you find it, Spike?" In his ass, clearly...

"In your bag. Cozy must have had it packed for you." Of all the convenient plot contrivances...

"It can magically open any door." And it was just laying around in the school, why, Twilight? Why in Equestria would you let something so powerful and dangerous just sit around where anyone can easily find and steal it. I mean, Cozy found it, and she clearly was able to take it and put it in your bag without you even knowing, so clearly this could have easily been stolen.

Pony security is the worst.

And of course the highest security prison for the most dangerous creatures in Equestria can be opened with a simple magical MacGuffin. Not even any guards or other safeguards. You manage to steal the magical skeleton key, you can break open Tartarus. Freaking Tartarus! And that thing was just laying about! No wonder Tirek escaped so easily the first time, even without Cerberus.

Wait. Cerberus. Where is Cerberus? Isn't he supposed to be guarding Tartarus?

And then the magical skeleton key shatters. Because it only works once. While that makes it marginally safer, that's still a pretty lousy skeleton key when you can only use it once.

Also, that key design was... weirdly specific to fit on that Tartarus lock, wasn't it? How would you use the thing on a keyhole?

And of course they go inside anyway, despite the seal still being there, and already concluding that Tirek DIDN'T escape, and reaffirming that magical objects won't work anymore very shortly. And of course the doors slam shut behind them. Want to guess that it has locked them inside?

There's a cockatrice, and apparently it has lost his magic too, because they are not turning to stone. That again seems very convenient. And what a risk to take to look at it to find out.

"All the creatures here must have." How do you mean, they "must" have? How do you know? Why do you assume that? What makes you think they all lost their magic?

I also love how all these critters are in cramped cages, with apparently no one around to take care of them. Like, this is the most inhumane (for lack of a better term) prison EVER. Some of these cages aren't even large enough to turn around in. This prison would set off all the animal rights alarm bells, let alone human (or sentient) rights.

"I know it should make me feel safer, but it just makes me sad." JUST them losing their magic, mind you. Not the tiny cages. THOSE are fine.

"We gotta fix this!" Really? THIS is what you are hanging your emotional moment of realization for this crisis on? The evil critters in Tartarus losing their powers?

Next thing you know, they'll reform the whole lot of them because they're so grateful for having their magic restored. This finale iwll end with all the creatures in Tartarus happy that they have their powers back, I bet. Because that's where the emotional core for this dillemma lies. The poor critters of Tartarus. Cry for the Devil, indeed...

Cozy walks into Twi's office... And Dracula is sitting in her chair, waiting for his dramatic reveal. Like he is a Bond villain. They sure are milking his evil demeanor for all it's worth.

Dracula is having NONE of that sugary sweetness of Cozy. I love it.

"As of now, I am head stallion. And I have quite a few changes to make." So Dracula is taking over the school. For some reason. I would have thougth he'd want to CLOSE it, not run it. His Thing is not that the School of Friendship should be run differently; it is that it shouldn't exist AT ALL.

We get our first look at Cozy breaking character, and I hope we get something fun out of this, and not another off screen event like Starlight disappearing.

Cerberus finally shows up, and of course Flutters tames him immediately, though Cerberus didn't seem all that agressive in the first place.

So there he is, Tirek returns. So the leaks WERE right, after all. Just not the way we were expecting it.

I can guess where this is going. They didn't go through ALL that just for a Tirek cameo. Tirek is going to be convinced to help them solve this Problem, and perhaps even get redeemed for it.

I mean, otherwise this would be a LOT of buildup for just a cameo. We are almost at the end of the first part, here, and nothing much has happened, really.

"We want answers, Tirek." Because obviously he is your ONLY suspect...

Tirek does a lecherous lick at the mention of magic, and this doesn't really seem like Tirek at all. I think the writers are going for a Hannibal Lecter expy here, rahter than how Tirek was acting in his first episode.

"Silly filly, if I had all that magic, do you really think I'd sill be locked up in here?" See, even TIREK thinks you guys are being dumb about this.

"But I might know something about it." Yep, he is totally Hannibal Lecter, and the ponies are going to recruit him to help solve the crisis.

Back with Dracula, Dracula theatrically swipes the student files of the Student Six into the trashcan, and bans them from the school. Yep, we're going full pony supremacist with this character. Again.

Dracula shifts the blame for magic dissapearing on non-ponies, because of course he does, and Cozy is obviously willing to go along with it. Then the Students are discovered, and Dracula uses another magical MacGuffin to capture them.

"From now on this school is pony only, as nature intended." I can't believe we're doing a white supremacist villain on THIS show, of all places...

This reminds me of the Death Eaters in Harry Potter accusing muggle-borns of stealing magic from pure-blood wizards. That's pretty much what this plot is. Dracula is basically Voldemort, but better looking. And less murderous, obviously.

Sandbar pretends to turn against the other creatures, which makes me wonder why Dracula captured him in the first place. I mean, Dracula doesn't know Sandbar, here. This plot point would perhaps have worked better if Sandbar hadn't JUST resolved his allegiance issues the episode before. Or if he hadn't been acting generally meek and unthreatening before. His sudden betrayal rings so false, I wonder if any audience members will get much suspense from that one.

Sandbar goes to the Apple farm and wakes up Apple Bloom... by throwing apples at her window. Not, you now, knocking, or ringing the door bell, or just yelling. Ponies are so impractical sometimes.

Also, hey, a cow! Why not just ask her to moo loudly to wake Apple Bloom up?

"I need the Cutie Mark Crusaders. My friends are in trouble." So, let's see, we have the CMC saving the Student Six so they can save Starlight so they all can save the Mane Six. I think that's pretty much all of them. All that's missing are the Pillars, now. It's like a Chain of Deals Fetch Quest, but with heroes.

"Chancelor Neighsay locked them up." "Huh? I thought Cozy Glow was in charge?" I guess she knows because the CMC are honorary tutors or something, but in that case, where have they been all this time?

"If you let me out, I'm sure it'll jog my memory." Back to Hannibal Tirek.

"How about you tell us what you know, or you'll be stuck here forever because we're out of magic keys and nopony can open the door." Dash. This is a PRISON. He is SUPPOSED to be stuck here forever. It's not much of a threat if that threat is already the default state for Tirek...

Also, sentencing villains for life in prison in tiny cages. Our heroes, everyone.

"We're just as trapped as Tirek?" What, you mean you guys didn't really think this whole thing through? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell ya.

"It seems my little protege's plan worked after all." Oh, don't tell me Tirek IS behind all this after all...

"We're pen pals. Each letter had so many questions about draining magic." So Cozy Glow has teamed up with Tirek, after all. Intersting twist.

"Her name is..." "Cozy Glow!" Nice fake out. I think there are plenty enough clues that Cozy Glow is the villain by now, though.

The Students go into the crystal catacombs and find Starlight, trapped in a magic ball caused by their countries' historic artifacts. Did we see that magic circle before? I can't remember.

Cozy Glow finally reveals herself, and the mask finally cracks, having some angry outbursts.

"You ponies got it all wrong. Friendship isn't magic. Friendship is power." Well, she isn't exactly wrong, there. What with friendship being a literal magical force of it's own in this universe, you could easily argue that friendship is power, just like any other magic.

"With Twilight and her lackeys out of the way, all of Equestria will bow to ME." Lackeys?

Also, you still have to deal with the Alicorns. Or did you forget about those?

"The future Empress of Friendship." Ooh, a contender to the throne. I like that idea. Of course, something as vague and subjective as "princess of Friendship" would be rather vulnerable to pretenders to the throne who feel they know much more about friendship as the current title holder.

Though I also have to laugh at the sheer ludicrousness of this ambition. Twilight doesn't have power over all of Equestria. She barely has power over her own village. I think Cozy has a very inflated view of the role of Princess of Friendship. It is basically the pity-job for princesses. The symbolic, ceremonial job for leftover princesses who don't get an actual kingdom to rule. This Princess of Friendship title holds little to no poewr, and Celestia knows it very well, as the movie already demonstrated with that throne room scene. Twilight has free reign within the boundaries that Celestia set for her, but Celestia WILL push back when she oversteps them. It's very clear just who is running Equestria, and it sure ain't Twilight.

What's up with that "siphoning magic to another dimension" thing, by the way? The mane six clearly could just WALK to Tartarus, so it can't be in a different dimension. But Cozy says it is, as does previously established lore about Tartarus. So which is it, episode? You can't have it BOTH ways.

On to part 2.

So what do we have now, three villains and three hero groups? All that's missing is the Pillars joining in. This is a busy finale. Pretty ambitious, too.

I still wonder what Celestia and Luna would do about this pretender to the second-tier throne.

"Draining your precious world of magic so she could trap the six of you was inspiring." I like this new Tirek, but I think we can all agree that he has little in common with the old Tirek. He is much hammier and lecherous now.

"Um, there's SEVEN of us." You tell him, Spike! Everyone always forgets about the dragon.

"Then I guess we'll just have to BUST our way out!" Cue faceplant into door.

"We need magic to escape." Well, they can always go the Equestria Girls route and weaponize friendship in the absence of actual magic. It worked there, so obviously it would work here, too.

"The most powerful villains and monsters of all time are trapped here." Except Luna, who was trapped in the moon. And Discord, who was turned into a statue and put in the royal gardens. And the Ursa Major, who is still out and about. And Starlight, who you have subdued with relentless friendship.

And who sent those villains there, anyway? Surely not Star Swirl, whose modus operandi seems to have been "toss them into some other dimension", inhyabited or not. This is more a Celestia thing.

"These creatures might be losing their magical powers, but there's still a magic that makes up what they are. Maybe we can borrow some of that." You mean you want to sap their magical life energy? Twilight. No. That's pretty damn evil right there. Magical PETA would be on your ass in NO time at all.

"You may as well get used to calling me head stallion Neighsay. I plan to be here for quite some time." And just like that, Dracula has usurped the school. I would think Celestia would have something to say about that, but clearly no one is informing her. Which is odd, when you think about it. Dracula is a government official. Isn't he supposed to report something like this to his higher-ups?

Speaking of government, doesn't this asshole have a job as the minister of education? How does he even have time to run a school? The same way the mane six somehow have time to teach outside of their busy jobs, apparently. This school makes a logical mess of any pony's work schedule it touches.

"But doesn't the EEA need you." Yeah! What she said!

"What the EEA needs is somepony to protect this school from the threats at Equestria's borders." Why just this school, though? Don't you want to protect ALL of Equestria from the evil foreigners? And since this school was specifically opened as an outreach to those foreigners, wouldn't it make much more sense to CLOSE it alltogether? After all, without foreign students to attend, the school has lost its main purpose, and might as well be shut down. Why do you want to run a school you believe should not even exist in the first place? Your evil motivation does not make any sense, Dracula.

"She left ME in charge. I'm her right hoof mare!" "Another in a long list of mistakes the Princess of Friendship has made." I love how Dracula is having NONE of Cozy's sugary bullshit. They make great foils for each other.

Meanwhile, Sandbar and the CMC try to free Starlight, but almost get sucked in by the trap.

"That's gotta be what's sucking up all the magic in Equestria." And you base this conclusion on what, exactly, Apple Bloom? Just because it tried to capture YOU does not mean it is responsible for sucking up all the magic. I mean, you are probably conveniently right about this, but this is a bit of a logical stretch.

"We need to get help." "But Starlight's trapped here, and there's no way to get word to Celestia or anypony else." I love how the narrative is making a huge deal about Starlight being unable to help because she is trapped, when she wouldn't actually be much help at all without her magic. Another sign of her being a bit of a creator's pet.

Also, how do you mean, no way to get word to Celestia? Pegasi can still fly, can't they? Have a messenger fly over to Canterlot.

It's amazing how technologically advanced Equestria seems to be sometimes, but they still haven't invented the telegraph or the telephone or radio.

Meanwhile, the Student six are locked in their dorm.

"If Sandbar has turned his back on us, every other pony probably has too." Such little faith in ponykind. "If ONE pony betrayed us, they must ALL be traitors." It's telling that it is Ocellus, from a hive species, that is saying this, though. To a Changeling, is must seem obvious that ALL members of a species behave exactly the same way. That's how it was under Chrysalis.

Also, really, are you falling for Sandbar's trick? After that last episode, you'd think they would know better. Gullibility is hopping species, now.

"Sandbar not turn his back. Sandbar is our friend." YOU get it, Yona.

Thankfully, this misplaced mistrust does not last too long as Sandbar comes to free them. This episode has a LOT of ground to cover with so many characters, so it moves at a brisk pace, which works in it's favor in this case, not getting bogged down in pointless conflict.

So the Students and CMC go to Dracula for help. I... would think it's pretty obvious he is NOT going to help a bunch of foreigners, though.

"From now on this school will adhere to EEA doctrine, as it should have from the start." But, again, you didn't want this school to exist in the first place. I think this part of the plot would have been so much stronger if he closed the school outright. I have the feeling that all this talk about "EEA doctrine" is going to go over the younger viewer's heads somewhat. I feel the writers are more writing for the adults than for the children for Dracula's plot, what with his racist overtones and bureaucratic scheming.

Cozy is also rather more of a political villain than one just stomping around subjugating ponies and blowing stuff up. She doesn't want to rise to power through violence, but through manipulation and scheming. And her end goal is very political, too. She wants to usurp Twilight's throne and become Empress of Friendship.

"I know you're a stallion who truly believes what you say." What HE says. Not what you say.

I love just how backhanded that compliment is. She is saying that Dracula believes what he is saying, while surreptitiously acknowledging that SHE does not underwrite his words at all. She is complimenting the speaker rather than the message, which she ignores outright.

"And when you say the school will be run according to EEA doctrine, I know you mean it." Again, she is not actually accepting that the school should be run like that. She just says that Dracula means what he says. Note how she just tosses the book over her shoulder, showing her true thoughts about it. This is some clever writing.

I don't know if Dracula's look means that he knows what she's doing or not. He ALWAYS looks like he is smelling something nasty.

"And when you say there won't be any more lessons from the Princess of Friendship at the School of Friendship, I guess you mean that too." Now she's moved on to working the crowd in her favor.

Cozy's manipulation tactics are great to watch. She turns the entire crowd against Dracula simply by appealing to their adoration and respect for the princesses.

"Okay, so maybe we need a new plan." Your plan was awful, anyway. Neighsay is clearly NOT interested in actually solving any problems beyond his one obsession with racial purity. And that obsession is such a big obstacle to getting his help, it's not even worth wasting time trying.

"Oh, oh, not so tight, we don't want to hurt the chancelor." Wow. The crowd went from deposing Dracula to actually chaining him to a chair in a heartbeat. For all their idealism and cultural posturing, these ponies sure are easy to rile up into angry mob mode.

And then Cozy puts a padlock on the chains for good measure. Not sure how that works, the lock just sort of floats in front of the chains and doesn't really seem to be attached to anything, but oh well.

"I'm sure Twilight will know what to do with him once she gets back." Again using the authority of the princesses in her favor to manipulate the crowd into trusting her. And the ponies fall in line easily enough, too. This right here is probably the most dangerous villain for these ponies: the kind that knows how to manipulate their own gullibility and trust in power against them.

Cozy has a marionette of Twilight. That is SO creepy.

And she has a pony skull. Which looks like it is a REAL skull. Whose skull is that, Cozy? How did you get it?

"You see, if there's one thing I've learned here, it's that friendship is the most powerful thing there is." Said with menace, while hugging her skull. Wow. This is the most messed up thing I've seen on MLP in a LONG time. Dracula's look says it all.

"And as headmare of the School of Friendship, nopony will have more friends than ME, making me the most powerful pony in Equestria." See what I mean about being a political villain? She wants to rise to power, not through force, but through manipulating the power of friendship. And since friendship is an actual magical power in this world, she really WOULD be the most powerful pony in Equestria, too.

"Oh, wonderful, I suppose you've all come to gloat?" And this is where Dracula's redemption comes in, I'm sure. The Students are going to save him, Dracula will have his heel realization, and be redeemed.

"The EEA medallion allows me to travel throughout Equestria." Nice Chekovs Gun, there.

Meanwhile, Twilight is still considering her impending crime against nature, while Fluttershy isn't so sure Cerberus is all that magical at all.

"If my protege has followed my instructions, by sunset tonight, every last vestige of Equestrian magic will dissapear into the ether, forever!" Wait. Tirek doesn't want the magic himself? He just wants the magic to be GONE? How does THAT make sense for a villainous plan? He will still be stuck in Tartarus.

"Have you even thought about what losing magic would mean?" "It means the six of you would be trapped here, like me." "Seven!" "Exactly. It means you're trapped here. Forever." While I agree that Tirek has not thought this plan through too well, I have to ask: as opposed to what, Twilight? He was going to be trapped here forever, anyway.

"With us." Oh, I see. She's going to threaten him with their presence.

"I hadn't thought of it like that." Well, that shut up his evil gloating, at least.

"Dash and Applejack nearly have Cerberus tired out. If Rarity pitches in, I think they can get him to sit still long enough to try what I have in mind." Why? Hasn't Fluttershy tamed Cerberus already? Isn't Cerberus on their side? He hasn't exactly been hostile or obstructive to them so far.

"I would never call them monsters." You JUST called them monsters, you hypocrite.

"What about Tirek?" "Leave him to me." These ponies sure are giving a lot of devious looks for their heroic plan.

One minute of Pinkie and Tirek snaps. That pink pony clearly KNOWS how annoying she can be.

Meanwhile, Cozy is NOT fooled by the CMC's diversion and locks them in a storage room.

So it turns out that the six Artifacts from the neighbor races can be used collectively to absorb all Equestrian magic and destroy it.

My god. Dracula was right! These foreigners really DO have the power to destroy Equestria! Who would have thought?

And then Cozy and her mob show up. Man, those ponies sure are quick to fall under Cozy's rule. Dash could teach them a thing or two.

Twilight uses the life energy (or whatever it is) from the prisoners of Tartarus to open the door. Does that mean that these creatures know how to do that from now on? Tartarus will be useless now that they know how to escape!

And all the creatures have now split up in their individual parts. They've been un-chimera'd. It's kinda odd. Also they are apparently not evil in this state. Or something. All these "worst monsters and villains of Equestria" have been acting awfully meek this entire episode.

Tirek is still himself, though. Apparently the rule that split the creatures up does not apply to sentient beings. Or something. This is all rather vague magic bullshit right here. Oh well, it moves the plot forwards, at least.

"I couldn't have done it without all your help." Pony antics save the day!

But now it's sunset, and all the magic in Equestria is gone, forever. Well, that's what Tirek claims, at least. It is not neccesarily true, and I could see Cozy manipulating Tirek into believing that for her own ends. I am guessing Cozy just wants all the magic for herself, instead.

Cozy convinces her mob that the Students are responsible for draining Equestrian magic and trapping the Mane Six and Starlight, and sets her mob on them. Again, these ponies sure are easy to rile up into a lynch mob.

The mob starts to have some doubts after seeing how loyal these foreigners are, but Cozy dismisses the elements as not being always applicable, and quips that the Tree of Harmony probably isn't that important anymore now that it has lost it's power. Cue the Tree powering up.

It's a bit ironic how these mob ponies NOW suddenly start thinking of the lessons their teachers taught them, especially the one about loyalty, when their loyalty has been quickly and easily shifting throughout the episode. The mane six still have a lot to teach to these ponies.

"They're glowing like the elements. Like if the Tree of Harmony saved them." Wait. Don't tell me. The Students now wield the Elements of Harmony.

I was right. These Students really ARE a new mane six team. Even if they don't really map one to one, that is what this episode is going for.

The Students take away their personal Artifacts, and the Tree restores everyone's magic. The Bullshit Tree of Plot Convenience has saved the day again!

The princesses and Dracula were on their way already when this happens... and they brought an actual ARMY this time. It's a bit of a shame we won't be seeing them in action. At least they learned something from the invasion of the Storm King.

All the monsters in Tartarus are restored as well. Um... yay? I was not exactly rooting for them, but whatever. They're still all outside of their cages, too. Except for Tirek, who gets smacked around by his own magic core. So... are all the monsters redeemed now, or what? I'm not sure what to think of this particular plot resolution here.

The Mane Six teleport back (glad Twi remembered that she can do that FOR ONCE), and confront cozy. I love how cozy does not back down AT ALL when Twilight confronts her about her motivations.

You're the one who doesn't get it, Cozy. Friendship IS powerful, but power isn't why you make friends." I'm sure a lot of politicians and people in power would disagree with that. Friendship IS a very potent part of gaining power. The implication here is that making friends to gain power is always a bad thing, but I don't believe that is true, either. Gaining power through friendship can be a valid goal, and it is HOW you wield that power, rather than the way you gain it, that defines how good a person is.

And implicitly, this series DOES carry that message. Twilight has gained much power through the friends she has made, and while that may not have been the end goal, it IS the end result of her journey. She is now one of the most powerful creatures in the land, having ascended to royalty through her proving herself by making friends and learning about friendship.

I think the real lesson is that Cozy is (yet another) dark mirror to Twilight. With Cozy, the end goal of making friends IS to gain power, while she wants the same result (namely, to have many friends). So the lesson is, you can gain power by friends, but you shouldn't do it on purpose.

"And if I can't do it here, I'll do it somewhere else." And then the mob blocks her way out. And then Celestia and her army shows up. And they arrest her. They ACTUALLY arrest a villain for once. No running off into the wastes while the cast watches helplessly for YOU, Cozy. It's Tartarus for you.

Hey, at least she can be with her bestest pen pal.

Celestia's army is wielding spears, by the way, if you want an idea of the level of tech we are talking here.

"Graduation?' "Now that we've saved Equestria, we figured we're done with school." They all laugh at the Students, but... Gallus has a point here. Why WOULD they still need to go to Friendship School? What more is there they could learn here, specifically?

"Saving Equestria is nice, but I'm afraid it will take more than one semester to learn all there is to know about friendship." Oh, come on, Twilight. They really deserve it. And what is "all there is to know", exactly? With such a vague definition, you could be studying friendship indefinitely. And won't they learn MORE about friendship by getting out there and learning about in the wild? You know, like YOU did? There is only so much you can gain by cooping them up with the Heroes of Equestria.

Also, it's only been ONE semester since the start of the season? So that's six months. But we saw EIGHT portraits for teacher of the month back in "Non Compete Clause", with the ninth just being added then. Once again, the timeline is fuzzy.

And so the students learned a valuable lesson about the education system: you won't get out no matter HOW well you do before you've done your time.

And of course Dracula is reformed when he realizes that friendship is important to everyone, not just ponies. Which is a weird redemption to have, honestly. And so, racism is solved, by ONE demonstration of a positive foreigner. You Are a Credit to Your Race, indeed. If only racism was so easily fixed in the real world.

"I suppose true friendship can take a lifetime to understand." Well said, Dracula. Which is exactly why it is ridiculous to not let the Students graduate because they still "don't know everything there is to know".

"If it were easy to learn, we wouldn't need a school." Except of course that we DON'T need a school to learn about friendship in the real world. And really, it's not THAT hard to learn about friendship. I feel the show is undermining it's own messaging a bit here.

And the CMC show up late for the party, and everyone laughs at them. Wah wah! Tough luck for you, CMC. Better luck next time!

"As for Cozy Glow, I can assure you, where she's going, she won't be causing any more trouble." TO THE DUNGEON WITH HER!

It's a bit weird to see Celestia and Twilight, who have both been very adamant on redemption for everyone no matter what up to this point, are so damn gleeful to see Cozy go to Pony Hell (which, let's face it, is exactly what Tartarus is).

"Hey neighbour, wanna be friends?" Run, Tirek. She's looking at you like she wants to tear you limb from limb.

So that was a great season finale, and a lot of fun to watch. Tirek was a bit disappointing as a villain, and Dracula's plot resolution was a bit unsatisfying to me, but Cozy Glow more than made up for it.

Still not sure what that sentient Tree of Harmony plot had to do with anything, though. The Tree seems to have reverted to inanimate source of mystical goodness for now.

Was anyone else disappointed that the school didn't actually explode? Especially given the title and the lines about the school possibly exploding? I was a bit surprised it ended up intact after all.

I was also half expecting Cozy Glow to turn out to be Chrysalis the whole time or something. I think this is the first time that a kid has (intentionally) been a major villain.

Edited by storyyeller on Oct 14th 2018 at 12:41:10 PM

Going by my own thoughts and also after reading some of the comments about the episode on the YMMV and Fridge Brilliance pages here, I suspect one reason that Cozy Glow was imprisoned rather than attempting to reform her is that she's so good at pretending to be nice. Thus, if she did just get put back in the Friendship School or even was under more personally supervised reformation teaching, it would be very difficult to tell if she was sincerely learning and repenting unless mind-reading spells were used on her. Plus, the other villains that were reformed only learned about "the magic of friendship" after they did their evil deeds, whereas Cozy Glow already has been at the Friendship School and she used that knowledge as a weapon. Which is one thing I really like about this finale, because of the irony that Neighsay was afraid that non-ponies would use the Friendship lessons as a weapon but then the one who does use it that way is a pony.

Thinking about the issue of "could Cozy Glow be reformed if she was taught in a way that someone could read her mind to tell whether or not she was being sincere?" made me remember that the main place I've seen any type of mind-reading magic in this series is Sunset Shimmer's power she got from her geode. Then I thought, what if instead of being imprisoned in Tartarus, what if Cozy Glow got sent to the Equestria Girls world and was put under the care of Sunset Shimmer? (This would also have the benefit of keeping her away from Tirek, which probably wasn't the best place to put her cell in Tartarus, unless they thought they were being nice by letting her be by her "friend".) I'm not sure whether or not she'd actually be able to reform Cozy Glow, but she'd probably be in the best position to be able to tell whether or not Cozy is being sincere.

Edited by Rainbow on Oct 14th 2018 at 11:45:41 AM

@Redmess: Twilight ran to Tartarus and back in the very episode it was introduced, so that isn't a continuity error.

That said, the magic drain, particularly the de-chimeric was weird. As was the key. I like to imagine it reassembles itself in a random location after use. That fits an artifact better

One time artifacts are always weird. Like how do people even know how it works if it disappears after use? It's just a lazy storytelling copout.

I don't think teaching someone about friendship while under the scrutiny of mind reading magic would pass the ethics board, or be particularly effective in teaching friendship. That level of distrust, control, and invasion of privacy would just antagonize her more, I think.

I've seen people argue that they should've reformed Cozy because they reformed Starlight.

One wrinkle to that dynamic that people seem to overlook is this: while Starlight stopped being a villain to become a friendship student, to learn stuff she didn't know, Cozy already WAS a friendship student. WHILE she was a villain. For months and months she went to a school designed to teach someone everything Twi knows.

The unsettling thing about Cozy is that she clearly understood Twi's lessons. On enough of a level to get excellent grades and become one of Twi's star pupils, anyway. And yet it didn't register with her at all. She aced all of AJ's honesty classes, then turned around and lied through her teeth to the people who considered her their friend.

@Redmess: In that case, I'm not sure there would be a way to reform Cozy Glow without taking the risk that she might be faking it. Plus, as Ginger pointed out , she's already been taught the kind of things that other reformed villains were, and that knowledge didn't stop her from weaponizing it.

Edited by Rainbow on Oct 14th 2018 at 1:11:50 PM

I think if you want to reform her in an ethical way, you must take that risk, and be willing to follow up with consequences if she indeed deceives you. I also think that showing that base level of trust in someone is a prerequisite for changing their world view in the first place.

On top of that, using mind reading could just lead to that person learning to hide their true feelings and thoughts from you.

I think G Ninja is on to something here. This isn't just another villain showing up from outside. This villain came from within. She was one of Twilight's star pupils. Her turning evil is a massive failure, both for Twilight personally as the School in general. It demonstrates that teaching others about friendship is not enough, and may well never BE enough. Some people are just going to be evil no matter how much and how directly you teach them.

That might just be the most cynical moment in this entire series. A villain whose evil consists of the very ambition of making friends that their usual defeat is based around. It's a deconstruction of the show's very core concept.

Good point about if someone really did want to try to reform Cozy Glow, using mind reading would not only be unethical, but it also would be counterproductive. She's probably one of those characters (like Tirek or Sombra) who is unlikely to ever be reformed, or if she does, it would not be through being taught anything on purpose (meaning any reformation she had would have to come from her own realization that what she had been doing was wrong).

Edited by Rainbow on Oct 14th 2018 at 2:10:02 PM

@Red The thing about Starlight and the students. They wanted to free Starlight because, powers or not, she's a symbol of authority.

At the end of the day, the Students are kids. So it makes sense they'd want to go to an adult during a time of crisis, especially one like Starlight or the Mane 6, as they have hero experience.

I disagree that she really understood friendship. She knew the material, yes—enough that she could pay it lip service, appearing friendly to everyone else and being able to pass the exams.

Aside from the obvious moments where she's making those aside of, "I think doing this is stupid and it's pissing me off to do so.", there is an interesting distance between herself and all the people in the school she's supposedly friends with. She has no one close to her—no one in cahoots with her scheme. Everyone's at arm's length. No one who stands by her as the school is supposedly about to explode or when her plots has unraveled and everyone else is trying to run her down. No, she's just flat-out using everyone. Really, the closest thing she has is Tirek and in the end, even he has the revelation that he was used.

As Twilight said, yes, friendship is power, but it's because of the true bonds. Ultimately, this lesson here is why Cozy didn't succeed. Cozy was essentially amassing ignorant acquaintances as lackies that were a mere means to her ambition. As soon as that came into opposition with the students' true friendship, her plan unceremoniously collapsed.

Come to think of it, a good way to sum up Cozy Glow is Pinkie Pie, if she was completely insincere.

08x25 - School Raze, Part I

"Thank you for the mail delivery. Have a wonderful day!" There's nothing inherently suspicious about Cozy Glow collecting the mail from Derps, but damn if that cliffhanger from "What Lies Beneath" didn't leave me paranoid.

"You're new here, right?" I don't know who this filly is but I instantly no longer care about the plot and want an episode about her and her awesome mane. It's like the entire color spectrum got together to celebrate one million years since the birth of color and after hours of festivities and celebratory bursts of light, this pony's mane was the result.

"I'm Cozy Glow, Professor Sparkle's Friendship Assistant!" I don't trust that. For one, because it's Headmare, not Professor, and for another because I don't trust this pony. BECAUSE "WHAT LIES BENEATH".

"I also color-coded your teaching schedule by friendship element and catalogued all the magical artifacts in the school." Okay, I'm still convinced she's going to be evil or some shit but goddamn, that's actually an impressive job. How the hell did Cozy Glow go from needing the Crusaders' tutoring to avoid failing out to legitimately being a talented assistant? Can we, like, hire her or something and then she doesn't have to be evil and try to blow up Cloudsdale or whatever her endgame plan is?

"Tada! The Pegasus Weather Factory!" So, here's a question. Why was this Twilight's job in the first place? Rainbow Dash actually worked for the Weather Factory. She grew up in Cloudsdale. Twilight has briefly visited for maybe a day once or twice a year since moving to Ponyville. I know they gave Cozy that line of convincing Rainbow Dash to take the class to show how talented Cozy is at this, but. Like. Why was it ever assigned to Twilight in the first place?

Cozy Glow isn't just adding value; she's actively patching the holes on the Friendship School's abysmal teaching standards and practices. Can we just put her in charge? Is that an option?

"Hey, the cool stuff's over here!" I see you with your horn aglow, Starlight Glimmer. You're casting the spell that makes them able to stand on clouds so that I don't have to go on a long-winded rant about how that's not a thing and the episode should be ashamed of itself, aren't you?

"I've never stood on a cloud before!" "You can't, normally. But for our trip, I cast a spell that lets us walk like Pegasi." That's what I thought. Good on you, Glimglam.

"It's like my spell stopped working. That's never happened before." I am, right now in this moment, reserving the right to call bullshit if it turns out that Cozy Glow meddling with the Tree of Harmony is causing unicorn magic to shut off. The Tree of Harmony did not grant unicorns their magic. Unicorn magic existed long before the Tree.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, Starlight. Maybe you did your spell wrong." Okay, which changeling are you and what the f*ck did you do with Twilight Sparkle? That is such an obnoxiously arrogant and condescending thing to say, and I don't buy it for a second coming out of Book Horse's snout. Also, since when does Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Neurosis, not worry about something? Something that involves pony lives being put in danger, no less?

This is a very out-of-character thing for Twilight to say. Which, depending on what the nature of Cozy Glow's sinister master plan winds up being, makes this either a good line that foreshadows the reveal to come or a bad line if there is no such reveal about Twilight not being herself.

"I didn't drop that book." "Maybe you did your spell wrong." Well, that seems to settle it. Nothing's wrong with Twilight. She was just written horribly out-of-character for some reason.

"Didn't we learn in class about a creature that eats magic? Tir…something." First of all, why is Tirek on the curriculum? I can understand passing along the lessons from each of the keys, but Tirek himself was just a bad dude who they blasted with lasers until he ate dirt. I was concerned before that Twilight's classes are just about her and her friends' life history, and this is doing nothing to dissuade me from that concern.

Second, no. Tirek has a very specific M.O. If Tirek was eating your magic, you'd know about it. Because he would be standing in front of you, jaw wide open, drawing in your magic.

Third, no. When Tirek eats magic, it leaves the target totally drained of energy and unable to move. He can drink magic from pegasi and earth ponies as well, not just unicorns, with the same effect. You have all, each and every one of you, experienced what it feels like to have Tirek take your magic. I know, I know, Pony Gullibility and all, but seriously. Y'all know better.

"Throughout our city, ponies have been reporting tales of their magic failing." I was hoping, really hoping that it was some kind of MacGuffin in the school that Cozy used. But no. We're really doing this, aren't we? The Tree of Harmony is now the source of unicorn magic even though that makes negative sense, isn't it?

"When the sun sets on the third day, the magic in our world will be gone. FOREVER." Okay. Questions.

First of all, if you don't know what's causing this, then how the f*ck do you have an accurate timescale for it and know that it will be irreversibly permanent?

Second, I know this line was written to create a sense of urgency, but. This is not how you create urgency. You know why? Because Princess Celestia controls the f*cking sun. It sets when she sets it, not in accordance with a cosmic schedule written in the laws of physics.

"Has anypony checked on Tirek?"

Why would they? Apparently, Starswirl knows with PERFECT CLARITY that magical creatures will all lose their magic abilities tomorrow. Tirek being a magical creature, that means that he'll lose all magical abilities tomorrow. Thus, he can't be the culprit, otherwise whatever means by which Starswirl determined that all magical creatures will cease to have magic tomorrow would have said "except one".

You might as well point the finger at Starlight. Maybe she's casting a spell with her unicorn magic right now that's causing unicorn magic, including hers, to fail! It makes as much sense! So much dumbness is happening in this scene.

"I've finally learned that it's okay to count on your friends for help." I want to say that she should have learned this a long time ago, but since the Bullshit Map took away her agency in the plot and made it its own, that is a legit point. The last time Twilight actively moved an Adventure Story by herself, not counting the movie, was last time Tirek showed up. And she tried to keep them out of that.

Counting the movie, it was the movie. And they had to volunteer for that too.

Season eight has had its ups and downs, but one thing I've really appreciated is Twilight stepping into her own as a Princess. She's taken some real authority in Equestria for the first time, rather than passively doing whatever the Tree tells her. Both in founding the school against Dracula's wishes and in taking it upon herself to give Rockhoof a title, she's finally stepped forward to be a guiding figure of authority for Equestria. This is all the shit she should have been doing back in season four.

Now, that's not to say Twilight coming into her own hasn't been problematic. Corruption abounds around her, mostly in the form of nepotism and abuse of authority. She is very authoritarian in her leadership, with those authority moments basically consisting of Twilight going, "F*ck you, I'm a Princess, my vote is the only one that matters." Twilight has the leadership sensibilities of a dictator when she puts her mind to it, and that's uncomfortable.

But I'd still rather see Princess Twilight as a flawed leader than as a passive recipient of someone else's authority. At least then, she can learn valuable lessons that help her work on those flaws - if the writing team ever realizes that they are flaws, that is.

The point of her alicorn ascension was for her to step up and become exactly the leader we're seeing her learn to be here and now. Her ascension was supposed to mean that she was ready for this then. Hasbro dropped the ball on that massively, but with season eight, it's finally happening.

"Tartarus has changed since you were there. It now holds many dangerous creatures." Point of order, Twilight and her friends have never been there. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were briefly banished there, but the Manes were out here fighting Tirek when that happened.

"I thought that after what happened with Discord—" Nice manipulation attempt, Cozy. I don't trust those lunches for a second. But that's because I'm privy to the cliffhanger that none of these characters witnessed. I'm not going to fault them for not suspecting Cozy because they've been given literally no reason to think she's anything but helpful. But I'm onto you, Cozy Glow.

"But don't worry because she left me in charge to do things just the way she would!" Welcome back from the commercial break. You didn't miss much. Starlight Glimmer's buried behind the school in a shallow ditch, but we all knew that was going to happen as soon as Twilight turned her back.

"Why'd she change her mind? Why did Starlight write a note instead of say goodbye to us herself?" Smolder continues to be Best Not Pony. Took her two seconds to start asking questions, while the Manes accepted the f*ckstupid premise Cozy Glow crafted right from the start despite the many, many holes that you could fly a zeppelin through.

"Oh Smolder, you forget. We're not scheming dragons, we're ponies!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHA HER ANSWER IS RACISM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can't even.

She doesn't even give Smolder the dignity of making up an explanation! She's just like, "A dragon WOULD think that!" She totally just used the Race Card to dismiss Smolder's legitimate suspicions. This response is effectively her communicating, "A wicked dragon mind would think that your questions are legitimate. BUT no one in the majority-population Pony Master Race would ever think the way you do. Since an overwhelming number of us are ponies and any pony that thinks your questions are valid is clearly as wicked and evil as a dragon is, I don't think I even need to answer it."

It's a quick and easy dog-whistle to invalidate Smolder's question by appealing to racism. That was fantastic.

"Sounds like somecreature needs to do a little extra friendship homework." And then she caps it off by punishing Smolder for questioning her in the first place. Yep. Cozy Glow gets a gold star in Dictator Class. She knows both how to work a crowd and how to suppress dissenters.

"Ugh. Fine." Think of it this way, Gallus: you're paying them back for that stunt you pulled on Hearth's Warming, where they all stayed to help you clean up.

"Cozy Glow gave our class tickets to a Sapphire Shores concert in Ponyville tonight." Where the hell did she get money for that? I'd say she's probably pulling it out of the school budget, but the school's uncredited and can't receive federal funding. Twilight has to be paying for all of this shit out of the royal treasury, which Cozy Glow would have zero access to.

"Last time I was here, I had to use magic to get in." Okay, is this a reference to a comics thing? I don't remember Twilight ever coming to visit Tartarus. I'm pretty sure this place has only ever appeared during "Twilight's Kingdom".

"The Key of Unfettered Entrance! Where did you find this, Spike?" Okay, this has to be a comics thing.

"I know it should make me feel safer but it just makes me sad." Oh no, these horrible monsters that want to kill and maim us will have a harder time doing so. How terrible.

The cages around the entrance are filled to bursting with continuity nods that raise more questions than anything. Like, I'll grant you the bugbear, but when the hell did they arrest the cockatrice? The mollworth? The chimera? The manticore?

"Where is Princess Twilight?!" Oh, hey! It's Dracula! I was worried he was going to miss the fun. See, we talked before about Dracula and redemption and I pointed out that his arc seemes primed for the Student Six to save the day in the season finale, thus causing him to realize that non-pony creatures can actually benefit Equestria and that his way of thinking is wrong. With the Manes sent away on a f*ckstupid snipe hunt, the Students are now in position to do precisely that.

"As of now, I am Headstallion." Give him five minutes and he'll be in the ditch next to Starlight.

"If all these monsters lost their magic, then getting past Cerberus should be easy-peasy!" I mean. He's still a giant three-headed dog. And losing one's magic doesn't make them immobile anymore because f*ck you, that's why. So.

"That looks like a yes." I'll be damned. Pinkie was right, that was easy-peasy.

"Since you refuse to explain your plot against Equestria and return the magic you stole, you will stay here while I summon your guardians to take you home." Which is the other part of Dracula's impending redemption, of course. Not only will non-pony creatures save the day, but it will be revealed that a pony was the one who caused all the trouble in the first place. It's pretty much the ultimate counterpoint to Dracula's position that these kids are a threat to good, honest, well-meaning ponies like Cozy Glow.

Also, how exactly is Dracula planning on calling their guardians? It's not like he can ring their cells, and now he doesn't even have the universal plot device that is casting a spell.

"Well, I was bored. So I simply pointed my pen pal in the right direction." I am shocked that Tirek wasn't a dead end. Both because of how incredibly stupid the logic that got them here was and also because Cozy Glow was the pony who first came up with the idea. Why would she send them towards a legitimate lead?

"All this magic needs time to drain from Equestria before my vortex sucks it to another realm." Hi, Starlight, how are you doing? Just thought I'd drop by and exposit my plans for no reason, just in case anyone's in earshot and has a chance to overhear it.

On the plus side, it looks like we're not claiming that the Tree of Harmony is the source of magic or some shit. She's using the six artifacts that Celestia stole mysteriously acquired from the other cultures to channel some kind of magical thingamabob that something something magic goes away. And she's doing it inside the Tree's new cave under the school for some reason. And the Tree avatar thing hasn't stepped in to do anything about it for some reason.

"You know, you ponies got it all wrong." HOLY SHIT she's Chrysalis. I did NOT see that coming. Legit did not. That is a solid twist, right there. I mean, she could be something else, but that line really makes me confident that she's Chrysalis. And if she's Chrysalis, then HOLY SHIT SHE'S CHRYSALIS.

Assuming she's Chrysalis, this is a much better use of her than "The Mean Six" was. And hopefully the final use, given what "The Mean Six" did to her villain cred. That reveal does wonders to reinvigorate her menace level, but she really can't take another defeat and still be threatening.

But wait. If she is Chrysalis, then wouldn't she lose her ability to shapeshift? We're beyond the second day when magical creatures lose their—oh. Oh, I get it. That's why she did her villain rant as Cozy Glow instead of dramatically revealing her true form for the cliffhanger, isn't it? Losing her shapeshifting means she's frozen in this form, rather than reverting to her natural state?

What does she have to gain by purging magic from the world, though? I'm not clear on the causality from "magic fades from the world forever" to "Empress of Friendship". If she was going to, like, absorb all the magic or something, that would make sense. But she explicily said she's channeling the magic to another dimension. She's getting rid of it. So. Like. What's the plan here?

Also, I assume that dimension is Equestria Girls and right now Sunset Shimmer is running around in a panic trying to figure out why EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS MAGICAL NOW OH GOD. From magic spilling over from Equestria to SUDDEN MAGIC FLOOD HELP US IT'S EVERYWHERE WHYYYYYY

I assume that because I assume that every parallel dimension things get sent to is the human world by default. Because it's funnier that way.

So, this episode was a trip. The details surrounding the magic purge are mostly all stupid and very poorly set up, but the character interactions are fun and engaging. It's a dumb plot but well executed, and if Cozy really is who I think she is, the next episode's going to be a thrill-ride. When the six artifacts were first introduced, I suggested that they're here to be the Students' equivalent to the Elements of Harmony; each one would claim the artifact of their heritage and then together they'd use their power to defeat the bad guy. I remain confident that this is what's going to transpire.

So, Imma take a break and then we'll see if they manage to stick the landing in part 2.