![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
No longer a forum herald
A case of the TV headline being so much better than the website's one: Beach goer finds giant joint.
Prim, proper, and yet so socially awkward
"Boy, 8, craves burger, drives dad's van a mile to McDonald's"
I'd express concern over the parents not keeping an eye on their kid if I wasn't laughing so hard.
"I shall not be foolish again, my dear Gwendolyn!"
she/her
Florida woman named Crystal Metheny arrested in Polk. Also, she wasn't charged with anything related to drugs (this time); she was actually arrested for firing a missile at someone's car.
Chaotic Greedy
These Metheny parents must have been a bit fucked up to call their daughter Crystal...
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Everything in that headline is 100% true. That story is both adorable and funny.
This is a title.
$15 'costume jewelry' ring turns out to be 26.27-carat white diamond worth over $450K.
Doctors warn women against putting wasp nests in their vaginas
....
?!?!?!?!??!!!!???!!?!??!
i. hear. a. sound.
Eater of gummy bears
Oh. My. God. Who looks at this and thinks, "Yes, this is a good idea that has no possibility of going seriously wrong!" Hey, at least it's not that guy (who's not a gynecologist!) who invented a "chapstick" to glue a woman's vagina shut during her period. There are so many things wrong with that one.
This is a title.
Canadian man mows lawn with tornado behind him
He was keeping an eye on it. XD
I liked it better when Questionable Casting was called WTH Casting Agency
No longer a forum herald
Someone finally got to live the dream, writing a headline like this.
NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before.
Eater of gummy bears
Someone got fired, promoted, yelled at, or free drinks from that one.
This is a title.
Canuck the crow's attacks halt Vancouver mail delivery
Police Shoot Unarmed Batman Cosplayers at Australian Sex Party
Gotta love that the owner of the nightclub is named MARTHA!
Prim, proper, and yet so socially awkward
Mom wants apology over McDonald's slide covered in poop.
Regardless of whose side we're supposed to take, I now remember why my parents eventually stopped letting my siblings and I play at fast-food restaurant play-places.
"I shall not be foolish again, my dear Gwendolyn!"
This is a title.
Religion For Overwatch Officially Approved in Brazil
This is a title.
Facebook shuts down AI system after it invents own language
It's happening! Get your children in the bomb shelter before the machines seize control of the nuclear arsenal!
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!
No longer a forum herald
Police search for dirt on soap thief.
Good luck with that.
He made a clean getaway.
(...where did all these rotten vegetables come from?)
Teenager arrested for doing Macarena
...and then the article itself extends the headline to "on Saudi street", which makes more sense, but is still pretty wtf.
i. hear. a. sound.
This is a title.
It rains solid diamonds on Uranus and Neptune
Freelance Distributor of Free Lances
As opposed to molten, gaseous, or plasma diamonds?
Grabher: Hello good sir, my name is Grabher Bythapussy.
No, I'm not Donald Trump traveling under a ridiculously offensive pseudonym to avoid the responsibilities of the Presidency. I just believe celebrity lets you do whatever you want to anyone of the opposite gender. And yes my hair is absolutely real and not a dead ferret I'm wearing on my head.
edited 26th Mar '17 9:21:54 PM by NickTheSwing
Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.