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formerly Lady Justice
Mar 16th 2011 at 3:54:33 AM

Landmines, excellent. I'll just go purchase some from the War, oh wait there isn't one in Portland!!!! Gyaaaaa. Be much easier if I was still in the country, everyone and their mums is packin'.

"There's more evil in the charts then an Al-Qaida suggestion box" - Bill Bailey
Mar 16th 2011 at 5:11:54 AM

Like who?

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Mar 16th 2011 at 9:11:54 AM

Thank the Lord for military surplus stores!

*cocks shotgun ominously whilst cackling madly*

Mar 16th 2011 at 9:12:28 AM

Awww, nobody picked up the reference...

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
MalagasyParrot Wh'joo lookin' at?
Wh'joo lookin' at?
Mar 16th 2011 at 7:59:05 PM

Eeeeh, them whippersnappers don't even go out anymore these days. It's all mobile telephones and inter nets and face books with these kids.

edited 16th Mar '11 8:03:16 PM by MalagasyParrot

HungryJoe Gristknife from Under the Tree
Gristknife
Mar 22nd 2011 at 2:37:47 PM

I'm telling you, punji pits. The smell's pretty bad, but it's worth it to hear their screams.

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
TuefelHundenIV Watchman of the Apocalypse from Wandering Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Watchman of the Apocalypse
May 8th 2011 at 9:06:10 PM

Claymore mines strung up in the trees. Automated machine guns with interlocking fields of fire and bouncing betties. That keeps your lawn nice and safe.

"Who watches the watchmen?"
GameChainsaw The Shadows Devour You. from sunshine and rainbows!
Steventheman Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces from Wales
Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces
Apr 22nd 2012 at 5:09:26 AM

You might want to try a series of bear traps, trip wires attached to swinging logs and nets.

If I learnt anything from studying the Vietnam war, it's that traps can be extremely effective even when a force is expecting them.

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Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
Apr 29th 2012 at 1:15:02 PM

Thread Liches strike again!

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
Apr 29th 2012 at 9:36:03 PM

There is a huge horde of neighborhood children who refuse to stay out of my yard. They've already broken one tree and they leave trash on my property which I then must clean up.

I'm thinking of breaking out my old paintball gear.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
Nohbody "In distress", my ass. from Somewhere in Dixie Relationship Status: Mu
"In distress", my ass.
Apr 29th 2012 at 11:19:49 PM

Might want to check the local laws to be sure you're in the green before loading the first PB. If there's a legal issue, some twit of a parent who doesn't believe their "pweshus" could be a dick like that will probably make some noise about lawsuits or whatnot.

All your safe space are belong to Trump
Steventheman Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces from Wales
Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces
Apr 29th 2012 at 11:54:32 PM

Yeah, I say you've got permission to engage.

Shouting like Rambo optional.

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drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
Apr 30th 2012 at 6:49:54 PM

@Steven: Naw, I plan to break out my old sniper's rig (complete with silencer), load black-shelled paint and take the little bastards by surprise. If they don't know where its coming from, they can't report me.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
Steventheman Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces from Wales
Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces
May 1st 2012 at 12:07:34 AM

Load red paint so they think it is blood.

Then get some of your mates, blast gangsta rap from a car and drive-by their house with your paintball guns while shouting "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH MY CRIB, FOOL!"

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Summerbird from Copenhagen Relationship Status: Puppy love
May 18th 2012 at 10:21:11 AM

I managed to breed a colony of two feet long, rabid slugs. It keeps the kids away from the lawn, and the only downside is that they eat all the plants in my vegetable garden.

ATC Was Aliroz the Confused from The Library of Kiev
Was Aliroz the Confused
Jul 4th 2012 at 5:46:20 PM

Keep rabid giant earwigs in addition.

Also, you could just refuse to shower for a year, that would keep all the kids off of your laws.

If you want any of my avatars, just Pm me I'd truly appreciate any avatar of a reptile sleeping in a Nice Hat Read Elmer Kelton books
TuefelHundenIV Watchman of the Apocalypse from Wandering Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Watchman of the Apocalypse
Jul 4th 2012 at 7:32:03 PM

Drunk: Behave in true old grump fashion and either talk with their parents, call the cops, or video tape their bad behaviour and drag their parents to small claims court to pay for property damage. Most parents can be reasoned with. I would try talking with the parents first. If the parents become obstanate inform them you will be instead contacting the police the next time they tresspass.

"Who watches the watchmen?"
drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
Jul 4th 2012 at 9:02:15 PM

@Tuefel: That would be the sane answer. But since the kids pretend to not speak English when I try and reason with them, I think next time I'll just skip straight to calling the authorities.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
Euodiachloris Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
Jul 4th 2012 at 11:30:05 PM

If they don't speak English: take out a phone and type it in fonespeek. They won't be able to ignore it, then. tongue

Rockonman Stranger Things have happened... from Cloudy City, WA
Stranger Things have happened...
Jul 5th 2012 at 11:03:37 AM

For the past several years, I've been training a sturgeon to become my pet attack sturgeon, and grow it to improbable lengths. And teach it attack commands in snake.

To the other side.
TuefelHundenIV Watchman of the Apocalypse from Wandering Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Watchman of the Apocalypse
Jul 10th 2012 at 5:41:15 PM

Drunk: What language do they speak?

"Who watches the watchmen?"
drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
Jul 10th 2012 at 11:11:28 PM

@Tuefel: Spanish. I think.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
Bur Chaotic Neutral from Flyover Country Relationship Status: Not war
Jul 12th 2012 at 10:42:32 PM

I'm having trouble evicting my sister off the lawn. Come on, woman! Find something else to do after dropping your kid off down the road. Surely you have interests outside of creeping on your daughter and drinking my booze on my lawn!

i. hear. a. sound.

Total posts: 76
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