ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Ivan: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnormal?"

-Ivan takes a box.-

Ivan: "Yunno, you seem remarkably healthy for a heart patient. And I don't think I've ever heard a voice like that. Hm."

-Ivan scratches his head.-

"You were able to replace your entire heart? Healthcare must be crazy expensive. Where did you say you were from again?"

Edited by redneckphoenix on Sep 30th 2018 at 5:14:43 AM

Scarlette: Well, I'm sure there's people who didn't figure it out yet.

Mason: Vierr, probably.

Scarlette: Mason! Come on, set the bar a little higher, that doesn't help at all.

Vermilion

Ever: (happily) You know, that's a good point. I should tell him. I'll record his face for you.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Lumiose Streets of doughnut exchanging

Dave: Throat issues. Implants gave me a robotic reverb. And I'm from Orre. My parents and I lived in Unova before, and that's where I've gotten this model. And yes, it was expensive.

PC: <Try six million pokédollars.>

Dave: And that was with insurance. Stupid Unovan healthcare. I do have to watch what I eat; most of these doughnuts are not for me. They're for my boss.

Jon: For the record, today is not cheat day.

Edited by MasterJayAM on Sep 30th 2018 at 5:25:18 PM

Mason: I mean, he knows now, you kinda sent out a mass text over it. But like, there's no way he figured it out before you.

Vermilion

-Ever's face falls-

Ever: Shame. I never get anything nice.

-they perk up-

So. There's a magical girl around, apparently? How's that work?

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Vermillion City

Said magical girl is indeed wandering around the city, looking for J-teamers. This is less than fruitful given she has no idea what anyone looks like, however.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Scarlette: Ooh, yes, you did mention that! Tell me about her~

-Mason shrugs-

Mason: Hell if I know how, she played a flute and a bunch of fire happened and suddenly she was wearing something else, and she said it was because of Tamamo.

Scarlette: Was she hot?

Mason: Oh my god, Scarlette.

Scarlette: Come on, Mason, you gotta tell me. Was she hot?

Mason: She was literally on fire.

Scarlette: But was she hot, though.

-Mason shrugs helplessly-

Mason: I dunno, maybe! I'm not into girls!

Scarlette: You can still comprehend aesthetics, can't you?

Ivan: "I feel like you're keeping something from me, pal."

-Ivan bites into a donut.-

Ivan, Mouth Full: "Keeping shecretsh ishn't contributive to a shuccsheshful life. What is this, [blueberry] glaze? Anyways, I'm just curious. Ya seem like a nice enough guy *munch* but I'm jusht really curioush, yunno. 'S quite literally my job to know about all sorts of injuries, eh? I love [blueberry] glaze, man."

Lumiose City Streets

PC: <I really don't think your worries are all that grounded. Davey here's an intern out on an errand. He couldn't hurt a cutiefly.>

Dave: Hey!

PC: <Seriously, though, he's literally just someone's intern out on a doughnut run who was also told to pick up a collectible for his boss.>

Dave: Or I could be an undercover cop.

PC: <...On a doughnut run.>

Edited by MasterJayAM on Sep 30th 2018 at 5:59:16 PM

Ivan: "Meh. 'S fine if you don't wanna blab about your secret alien hitman government conspiracy thingy."

-Ivan puts the box under his arm. He'll probably eat all those in one sitting.-

"Hey, here's my number, pal. In case you ever want to chat. I'll be here. Still don't know where to go to train, soooooooo keep an eye out for something like that?"

Orre, Agate Village

-the Slightly Awkward Trio has finally arrived at their destination-

Nino: That... is a huge waterfall! I don't think I've ever seen one that big.

Channah: Yeah, you'd think it'd be noiser.

Legault: So where is this Relic Stone?

Channah: Uh... -hesitates, then walks up to a random senior citizen- Hey um. Where's the Relic Stone?

Old Woman: -looks at the group- ...Are you here to help your Pokemon?

Channah: What else...

Legault: Madame, we traveled a long way to get here.

Nino: That's right! Our two friends got turned into Shadow Pokemon and we would really appreciate it if you could please tell us where the Stone is.

Old Woman: Hmm. You sound reasonably truthful, and you don't look too suspicious. Come with me.

-she leads them down to the Relic Cave-

Old Woman: -stops in the middle of the cave- ...

Channah: ...Ehm.

Nino: ...Is something wrong?

Old Woman: It's been a little while since someone has purified a Pokemon here. Since there are no trainers here today, let me test your intentions with a quick battle.

Channah: -sighs-

Old Woman: -kindly- Well, I couldn't just let potential terrorists waltz right in, could I? My husband Eagun would never let me hear the end of it. My name is Beluh, by the way. Now, let us begin!

Channah: Fine...

Myth Trainer Beluh wants to battle!

There is no disdain in nature, there is no humiliation.

Lumiose City Streets

Dave, taking the card: Thanks. I'll let you know when I'll need your assistance.

<A few minutes later>

PC: <Don't worry too much about that young man. He seems like a good person. Although I disapprove heavily of implying that Beheeyems are involved in government conspiracies. That was ''one time'', people. One time!>

Jon: This is what your ancestors get for trying to cover up your shenanigans.

Dave: Guys, that was a close one, but let's try not to attract too much attention. And at least we got Deputy Memito's toy; she actually likes this... relative, I think, so this is at least gonna keep her out of my hair for awhile. We just need to get to the previous [McDonald's] to buy the meal and pray to Future Arceus that she doesn't ask for something as trivial as the box it came in.

Jon: You may want to ask your dad if he can check out your application for the Geographic Society

Dave: And get rejected personally by that overprotective old coot or be designated into a boring desk job? No way. I'd rather get my college credits with Interpol than work for my father.

PC: <Need I remind you that you need to stay calm lest your heart start whirring audibly again?>

Dave: This is why I want to join Interpol: better medical.

Criminal Fight, Past

-Ren crosses his arms, his armor and weapon projecting a barrier that helps mitigate incoming damage... Although once the smoke clears it is very apparent that the Shadow Bolt took quite a toll. Ren's armor is cracked and his face is bleeding and scorched in several places.-

-Ren coughs and spits out some blood where his gums are bleeding, but his eyes still have some life in them.-

Ren: *huff* Can't say... *huff* That didn't hurt... -inhales- GUYS! IF YOU CAN GET NEAR ME AND SCREEN ME, I CAN DO A FULL HEAL!

-Ren's staff begins absorbing ambient energy as it charges up Ren's advanced healing technic, Giresta.-

Edited by keys2tkingdom on Sep 30th 2018 at 5:36:33 AM

Vermilion City

Ever: This is clearly missing the point, the point being "who is Tamamo and how do I make a deal with her too?"

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Mason: -shrug- Some Ninetales. Apparently fae. I don't wanna fuck with her. You do you, bro.

Scarlette: Excuse me, discussing the magical girl you met is definitely not missing the point. C'mon, help a single lesbian out.

Mason: I already told you her name through text, figure out the rest yourself.

Scarlette: Oh, boo.

Edited by BittersweetNSour on Sep 30th 2018 at 7:20:40 AM

Vermilion City

Ever: Please don't call me bro. (to Scarlette) Obviously, the solution is to look for crimes in progress until a dashing savior shows up to foil them.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Dunescape

-Arika attempts to deflect the falling Shadow Storm with a Surf-

-Ren in the meantime starts firing Leech Seeds and Toxics-

Contact Me!

Mason: Right, sorry, m— du— fuck why are all of those gendered

Scarlette: Thank you! Thank you for the advice, Ever. Wonder if Whiptail and her crew are planning another heist. I mean, if Rogue's there, it's gonna take an equally dashing hero to stop a dashing villain like that.

Vermilion City

Ever: (to Mason) Because society is a mess.

-they blink a couple times when Scarlette speaks up-

...Well, yes, that would be necessary. And highly entertaining.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Vermillion Pokecenter

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Orre, Agate Village

mood music, Normal Battle (Dr Pez Cover) from Pokemon Colosseum in case the link dies

Beluh: -sends out a Jolteon and Vaporeon-

Channah: Okay. You're up, Titus and -

Nino: -sends out Juge-

Channah: - Juge, I guess?

Nino: It's our battle too, really.

Channah: -shrugs- Alright, kinda messes up my plan but sure. Titus, Dig.

Nino: Juge, use Magical Leaf on the Vaporeon!

-Titus goes underground and Juge attacks. The Vaporeon tanks the hit pretty well-

-Jolteon uses Thunder Wave on Juge in return, and Vaporeon also hits Juge with a Muddy Water-

Juge: <Y-Yuck! Mud in my eyes!>

Legault: Glad you didn't send me out instead.

Nino: Come on Juge, you've got this! Psychic, on the Jolteon!

Juge: <Pfeh...> -stiffly manages to attack, throwing the Jolteon into one of the cavern walls with the force of the move-

Titus: -shoots up underneath Jolteon as it rebounds, catching it in a wave of dirt - - <Hola~> -and KO's it-

Nino: -grins at Channah- One down!

Vaporeon: -promptly hits both mons with Surf-

Titus: <Ack! I hate water, it's wet and it's irritating and it gets everywhere.>

Juge: <T-Tell me - about it...>

Channah: -to Nino- She probably has four more, don't get too excited.

Beluh: Oh, do we have a mentor and student? -sends out Leafeon-

Channah: Nope. Try to finish off the Vaporeon, T. Foul Play.

Beluh: Hm... Leafeon, Return. Vaporeon, please make yourself an Aqua Ring.

Titus: -picking himself up- <Hey, does Calvinball count?>

-Titus tries to attack the Vaporeon, but Leafeon moves first, slamming into the fragile Juge and making him fall flat on his face-

Nino: Oh Juge, hold on -

-she darts forward with a Super Potion just as Channah sends out Gelidus, who has to crouch in the small cavern as he comes out and accidentally kicks Nino aside in the process-

Legault: Blast, you couldn't have waited? -snags Nino out of the air and helps her sit down well away from the fight-

Channah: -glances at Juge, who has passed out, before turning back and ordering Gelidus to attack the Leafeon while Titus gets around to executing his Foul Play-

Beluh: -frowns a little and shoots a worried glance at Nino, but Nino gives them a shaky thumbs-up and she too re-focuses on the battle-

---

-Channah ends up finishing the battle alone; it's a long and involved fight against the old expert and her 6 Eeveelutions, who take advantage of Channah's haste to finish and KO's Titus, Gelidus, and Basil before Montanari and Lo use their firepower against them to win-

Channah: -as Lo uses Facade for the last time on the woman's Flareon- ...Finally.

Beluh: Good job, Flareon. -withdraws it- If you had slowed down and supported your partner more, it might've gone smoother.

Channah: She only has the one Pokemon, it wasn't gonna last. Er. Sorry, Nino.

Nino: -shamefaced- It's okay. I know I shouldn't have gotten involved, I did go into it without asking you first.

Beluh: A good trainer adapts to the situation as it unfolds, plans or not. -steps aside- You're free to go through. I can tell both of you care very much about your Pokemon in your own ways.

Channah: You can?

Nino: Thank you, Ms. Beluh.

---

-standing in front of the Relic Stone-

Legault: ...Nice rock.

Channah: -sends out Necrobutcher- Okay, I'll do it first. I think -

-Necrobutcher approaches the Relic Stone as though hypnotized and touches it, eliciting a green glow, which graduates to a full purification complete with anime swirly bullshit-

-the light recedes, revealing a Whirlipede in his place-

Necrobutcher: <...>

Channah: ...Necro? You alright?

Necrobutcher: <I... is un-shadowinged! I is re-being myself again!> :D -bounces up and down, then pauses- <...I can also rememberings my name. Of which is - H'chtelegoth, the Great Tentacled God!>

Channah: No.

Necrobutcher/H'chtelegoth: <What you meanings by negativity?>

Channah: That's a horrible name. Who the fuck named you? You know what, never mind. Nino, just do your thing.

Nino: You mean - Oh, okay. -sends out Jaffar, who cautiously approaches the Relic Stone and the same thing happens-

Jaffar: <What...>

Legault: So, you feel normal again? No random homicidal urges?

Jaffar: <I remember... ... ... Nino. I hurt you. I thought you were...>

Nino: <No, no you didn't, Jaffar! You tried, but we had it under control.> -smiles encouragingly-

Legault: Barely.

Jaffar: <Hurricane... I - Urgk.>

-Nino abruptly glomps Jaffar, and everyone spends the next few minutes not knowing what to do while Nino sniffles-

Channah: What a stupid name... Doesn't even have tentacles...

There is no disdain in nature, there is no humiliation.

Scarlette: It'll be great. I'm gonna do it. Maybe by some twist of fate I'll fall for the villain instead. Think they're cute under those masks?

Mason: In Xerneas' name, Scarlette.

-He checks his texts-

Edited by BittersweetNSour on Sep 30th 2018 at 9:55:57 AM

Vermilion City

Ever: Well, you have to figure that all that leaping and bounding makes for a solid workout routine.

-they check their texts without so much as pulling out their phone-

Hey, come on, if we go over to the PMC I can slyly drop that you're single without you needing to put yourself in harm's way.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

-Scarlette grins-

Scarlette: Sweet, sure. Thanks for looking out for me, Ev.

Mason: I can only see this ending poorly for at least one party and thus I must request to stay out of this.