Schlock Mercenary

"Sheer anarchic idiocy"...

Well, if nothing else, Ventura's robots have a real way with words. And, as has been noted before, this is such a quotable webcomic

"We could hire the mercenaries"...ROFL

edited Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:42:27 by Haven

This has to be the funniest Deus ex Machina ever.

Ouch. This is Frank Hannibal, signing off.

Aaaaaaand the loudmouthed news anchor is shut down!

If it ain't in the contract ...

Unwritten, implied, understood provisions, may not be understood at all.

Of course, if the UNS had made that explicit, they'd have been documenting their less-than benevolent intentions.

You don't send violent thugs to distribute food or navigate politics. You send smart ambassadors with violent bodyguards. If you send a group of mercenaries with a penchant for violence into a delicate political climate, they won't do what you want, unless what you want is general violence. I think the UNS was pretty stupid in their choice of missions for the Toughs.

Wow, this thread hasn't seen any action for a while.

Today's strip ends on a fantastic line, though. "Are you trying to use an alien sociopath with uncontrollable appetites as a moral compass, or are you just being hypothetical?"

Well, I thought it was funny.

Great quote, that's for sure.

So Tag's a girl now. That's... quite unexpected. The only female ship AI we've seen so far was on a ship which was, in fact, run by a female (Breya). Then again, Admiral Em's AI was seemingly male, so maybe it's just generally rare rather than indicative of anything. I don't like the implications of the fact that this is her solution to Tagon "needing to still feel like he's in charge", though.

I like the hairstyle!

I think she looks kinda ugly.

I'm not a fan of the Jolie lips, but the Hot Librarian vibe of "Frumpy" mode pleases me.

Brickman:

I think she looks kinda ugly.

I assume that was part of the point, so that Tagon wouldn't be distracted by hotness.

I wonder if TAG still has the Boris Karlkoff voice. XD

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090508.html

I hope he joins up. He's funny and I like him.

I don't know, what use does a mercenary company have for a guy who can't fight his way free of toilet paper?

Too funny. Good to see Schlock getting out of that horrible janitor job. Ironic that he's instead being thrust right into his area of specialty... and right into the spot where he'll be most able to get the dirt he's looking for.

edit: And now he's being asked to investigate the very thing he infiltrated the circus to investigate. Talk about dumb luck.

edited 4th Jun '09 8:48:20 PM by Brickman

I had the same reaction this guy did.

So one of the circus elephants is "playing dumb"? Huh. Is she another undercover character of some sort? A deputy, or maybe one of the people behind the boomex? Or maybe pretending not to be sapient is the only way she can get a job for some reason? As he says, interesting.

vvv brickman what are you talking about D:

edited 6th Jun '09 10:51:50 PM by Haven

Psst: That link only goes to the first third of the comic. You may as well just link here (even if it's on the main page you'll get a permanent link if you click the date on the calendar).

edit: Did I say third? I meant half. Point still stands.

edited 6th Jun '09 10:33:17 PM by Brickman

Can't... breathe... laughing...

Poor Schlock. Apparently the Tagon's Toughs have better hygiene than you'd expect...

Why is this comic so consistently quotable?

"Your faith in the legal system is appalling."

It's just cool like that.

Good going, Sarge.

"My understanding of police procedures has more holes in it than I originally thought" is a great sentence.

... wait, what?

O shi-

Well, now we know why Trenchcoat Mcmonobrow Timmons is being so secretive. It seems likely that the police are deep in it, though I guess it's possible that they're just all in danger.

Schlock should have lied about his olfactory capacities and his security job. At least he didn't mention that they all smell like Boomex, though.

So what does a mercenary do when he realizes his employer is also the guilty party in the crime he's investigating? It's not like the circus people would be able to foot the bill if they expose the police officers, even if they were grateful rather than sore about the whole "spying on us" thing. But if they did it there's no other way of achieving success on this mission. It's lose-lose.