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Website / The Retributionists

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"Take a double dose of Fukitol and stay a while, we'll try to make it as painless as possible"
— The Retributionists' mission statement

The Retributionists are a less than professional panel of critics who, armed only with sarcasm and colored fonts, produce humorous reviews of the worst stories on the internet. While there is a predominant focus on fanfiction, these critics have also covered original fiction, art, and an instruction manual from IKEA.


Tropes frequently found on The Retributionists include:

  • Deadpan Snarker: Often times these critics can't take each other seriously, let alone the story.
  • MST: The Retributionists rose from the ashes of Mystery Science Theater and Fan Fiction Friday, and as such, it bears many similarities to the two series.
  • Running Gag: From one liners to gifs, these critics know the meaning of callback.
  • Satire: Sometimes it’s not enough to point out that a story is bad; sometimes a story's badness can only be explained my emulating it.


Notable fanfics featured on The Retributionists include:

  • Imma Wiserd: The gangster version of My Immortal, who could ask for more?
  • My Immortal: This story is often cited as the worst fanfiction on the internet. It isn’t, but that still don’t make it a masterpiece.
  • My Inner Life: This is the longest story featured on The Retributionists, if not in word count then certainly in spirit.
  • salivation: This story was deleted from the internet, but was lovingly pieced back together. Just so that The Retributionist could pick it apart all over again.
  • Sonichu: What do you get when you combine a hedgehog with a pokemon? Evidently, the answer is not, “A good story.”


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