Hannelore: I was painstakingly inspecting my lymph nodes this morning and I found one that's 1 millimeter bigger than the others. Should I be worried?
Doctor: No, you should stop painstakingly inspecting your lymph nodes.
Doctor: No, you should stop painstakingly inspecting your lymph nodes.
Shepard: Do you have everything you need to stay healthy?
Traynor: Just about. The only medication I can't find is sucrocapsunol. My family doctor prescribed it for my headaches.
Shepard: Sucrocapsunol? That's a sugar pill, Traynor. A placebo.
Traynor: Ugh, that sneaky bastard. And now that you've told me, it wouldn't work anyway.
—Mass Effect 3, Citadel DLC
Teri: I can feel myself getting ill...
Joan: Hmm, like Monday, when you thought the foam in your mouth was rabies only to discover it was toothpaste? Or Tuesday, when you thought you broke your leg even though you don't have bones? Or yesterday, when you thought you'd gone deaf because nobody had spoken to you for five minutes.
—The Amazing World of Gumball, The Virus
Teri: I-It's fine! Just a f-few scratches is all! No need to worry about it or the fact that millions of germs are probably culminating into the open areas now and- AAAUGH! WHERE'S MY DISINFECTANT!"
"Mommy, I went outside when I shouldn't. I sneezed and now I'm out of breath. I think I got the virus."
—Roys Bedoys referring to COVID-19, Roys Bedoys, "Stay at Home, Roys Bedoys"
Kid: What's the matter?
John Kimble: Oh, I have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumour.
Kimble: It's not a tumour! It's not a tumour at all!
John Kimble: Oh, I have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumour.
Kimble: It's not a tumour! It's not a tumour at all!
"I think this time I'm dying
I'm not melodramatic
I'm just pragmatic beyond any
Reasoning for thinking I've got fucking rabies or something"
I'm not melodramatic
I'm just pragmatic beyond any
Reasoning for thinking I've got fucking rabies or something"
— Wilbur Soot, "Saline Solution"
Sir Roderick: There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Except hypochondria. You just like talking to doctors.
Fusspot: That's absolute nonsense. I demand a ninth opinion.
Leonard: What's the matter?
Sheldon: I have pain radiating from my navel to my lower right abdomen. I'm nauseated and feverish. I believe I may have cholera.
Leonard: There's no cholera in Pasadena. Just like last summer when there was no malaria in Pasadena.
Sheldon: Well, if it's not cholera, then, based on a quick internet search, the other explanations, in decreasing order of likelihood, are Hirschsprung's disease, botulism, a thirty foot tapeworm, or accidental ingestion of chrysthanemum blossoms.
Leonard: When would you have accidentally eaten chrysthanemum blossoms?
Sheldon: It's part of an unlikely scenario that involves sleepwalking and a 24-hour flower mart with a less-than-vigilant proprietor.
— The Big Bang Theory, The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification*
