That you fall asleep on call with
I'll make you forget
Every guy that came before me
'Cause I like you
And you like my attention
Let's skip to the good bit
Let's consummate our internet connection
Will Gold, better known online as Wilbur Soot, is a 24 year-old musician, streamer and Youtuber from Brighton, UK. Initially starting off with the SootHouse YouTube channel, he has since branched out into other channels.
Wilbur started his music career writing very melancholy songs primarily for the acoustic guitar, mostly emulating the British band Crywank in tone and style. During this time, he released an EP called "Maybe I was Boring", and an album called "Your City Gave Me Asthma".
Recently though, Wilbur has ventured into writing more comedic songs, mostly parodying various internet archetypes. His most famous work is what's unofficially named "The E-Girl Trilogy", three songs all sung from the perspective of a man who becomes obsessed with a female streamer and decides to stalk her, feeling entitled to be with her.
In early 2021, Wilbur joined the band Lovejoy as lead singer. On May 10th of that same year, they released their first EP, "Are You Alright?".
Outside of his music career, Wilbur is a prominent figure in the Minecraft community, most notably playing his character of the same name on the Dream SMP.
- Maybe I was Boring
- Maybe I was Boring
- For Memories
- White Wine in a Wetherspoons
- It's All Futile! It's All Pointless!
- Your City Gave Me Asthma
- Jubilee Line
- Saline Solution
- Since I Saw Vienna
- Losing Face
- Your Sister Was Right
- La Jolla
- I'm Sorry Boris
- The E-Girl Trilogy
- I'm in Love with an E-Girl
- Internet Ruined Me
- Your New Boyfriend
Your new tropes list's an arsehole:
- Abhorrent Admirer: A recurring theme in his music, from songs like "Maybe I Was Boring" to "Your Sister Was Right," to the E-Girl Trilogy. The former and latter are Played for Laughs, but the second one is a massive Tear Jerker.
- Album Title Drop: "Your City Gave Me Asthma" is from the second verse of "Jubilee Line".
- Arc Words: Every song in the E-Girl trilogy has some variation of the phrase "She's beauty, she's grace".
- Blank Stare: Deconstructed. In the music video for "I'm in Love with an E-Girl", Wilbur stares blankly into the camera, without blinking, for a long time... then, in the middle of it, he winces in pain and squeezes his eyes shut as they dry out, before going back to staring. Later in the same video, he suddenly goes cross-eyed.
- Double Entendre: In the music video for "Your New Boyfriend", while the line "I think about him a lot as well" is sung, Wilbur slowly pulls a piece of tissue paper out of a box, then turns to stare directly in the camera.
- Fun with Subtitles:
- At the start of the music video for "I'm in Love with an E-Girl", the writer welcomes the viewer to his tutorial on getting a girlfriend. The lyrics to the song are typed out in a Notepad file, and are formatted like a real person would type, including spelling and punctuation errors and hastily corrected typos that get more frequent the angrier he gets. When the E-girl blocks him, the writer suddenly starts typing incomprehensible gibberish, before lapsing into insults.cos you. like. me.
andi think you're a mabniac
elety's gotks kgood bit
letsa comepltey slbock a
wait what was that last line?
are you actually blocking me?
i knew you were like this
- The lyrics of "Your New Boyfriend" show up as the titles of e-mails sent by Lonely Boy to the E-Girl. At the start of the video, she e-mails him that he needs to stop messaging her, and attaches a PDF of the restraining order she has against him. Throughout the video, she repeatedly deletes Lonely Boy's e-mails, forwards one of them to her lawyer while adding "He's doing it again", and replies to one of his e-mails saying that yes, her new boyfriend is pretty fine.
- At the start of the music video for "I'm in Love with an E-Girl", the writer welcomes the viewer to his tutorial on getting a girlfriend. The lyrics to the song are typed out in a Notepad file, and are formatted like a real person would type, including spelling and punctuation errors and hastily corrected typos that get more frequent the angrier he gets. When the E-girl blocks him, the writer suddenly starts typing incomprehensible gibberish, before lapsing into insults.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: In "Your New Boyfriend", Wilbur sings about Jared's — the boyfriend in question — "jawline, shoulders and muscles", and that he's "thought about what he looks like nude"... Before following it up by insisting he isn't gay.
- Heel Realization: The premise of "Your Sister Was Right":I, hate to say it; but your sister was right
Don't trust English boys, with far too much free time
I, hate to say it; but your sister was right
I'm nothing but a problem, leave you crying overnight
I hate to say it, but your sister was right
I can't focus on the future; only my short sight!
I hate to say it; but your sister was right
I'm a wanker... complete wanker... a fucking waste of time.
- Hypochondria: "Saline Solution" is sung from the perspective of a hypochondriac.I think this time I'm dying
I'm not melodramatic
I'm just pragmatic beyond any
Reasoning for thinking I've got fucking rabies or something
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: In "The "Nice Guy" Ballad", Wilbur remarks between the chorus and third verse that he's a gentleman, and also really mentally stable. The third verse starts with the lyrics "I'm gonna kill myself if you don't go out with me."
- Implausible Deniability: From "I'm in Love with an E-Girl".Mum took away my PS4
So I punched a hole through my bedroom wall
I'm not aggressive
I just ooze masculine passion
- Last Note Nightmare: In the last few seconds of "Your New Boyfriend", the last note morphs into an ear-grating noise that sounds like an extremely distorted heartbeat.
- Line-of-Sight Name: The 'Soot' part of Wilbur's name originated from him naming his first online account after the first word he saw on his desktop — 'Settings'. This morphed into 'Sootings' after one of his online friends nicknamed him that, which later got shortened to 'Soot'.
- Mean Character, Nice Actor: During the E-Girl trilogy, Wilbur sings from the perspective of an entitled, womanizing creep. Wilbur himself, however, is anything but the character he sings as.
- Noodle Incident: From "Your New Boyfriend":I'm not gonna make another scene
The one I made when I was twenty-three
Means I'm not allowed in Disney World
- Slasher Smile: Multiple times throughout the music video for "Your New Boyfriend", Wilbur stares in the camera with wide eyes and a deranged looking grin on his face.
- Stalker with a Crush: The protagonist from the E-Girl trilogy. After getting blocked by the E-Girl in "I'm in Love with an E-Girl", he starts stalking her social media to the point where she gets the cops involved, and gets a restraining order against him. Not that that stops him.
- Stylistic Suck: In all of the music videos of the E-Girl Trilogy, Wilbur is very obviously not playing his instruments correctly. This ranges from just kind of slapping his guitar in "Im in Love with an E-Girl", to playing a glockenspiel like it's a guitar in "Internet Ruined Me", to doing... whatever this is in "Your New Boyfriend".
- Unusual Euphemism: From "I'm in Love with an E-Girl":Just a single message more
Sends her rubbing up my ethernet cord
- Villain Protagonist: In the E-Girl Trilogy, Wilbur sings from the perspective of a man who finds a female streamer online and obsesses over her to the point where she gets so creeped out by him that she blocks him. After that, he starts stalking her mercilessly for years, while still not understanding why she doesn't want anything to do with him.
- Wretched Hive: "Jubilee Line" goes to great pains to describe London as this:Wasting your time
You're wasting mine
I hate to see you leaving
A fate worse than dying
Your city gave me asthma
So that's why I'm fucking leaving
And your water gave me cancer
And the pavement hurt my feelings