A memoir looking at policing in the UK from a trainee's perspective. Someone who joined with high aspirations of helping to protect people and serve the public trust, only to resign while still in probation after becoming throroughly disillusioned with the modern world of coppering.
Published in 2009 by Lance Manley from Troubador. Later in 2012 on Amazon Kindle.
Stab Proof Scarecrows contains examples of:
- Clueless Deputy- WPC Daryl Esobe. Also Tutor Constable Sonja.
- Equal-Opportunity Evil: Sergeant Kerwan embraces the world of Race & Diversity.
- Everything Is Racist: Or "ist" at any rate.
- Getting Crap Past the Radar: Sergeant Kerwan is an anagram of "w**ker". Daryl Esobe is an anagram of Lardy Obese.
- Also the pub called The Queen's Legs is laced with innuendo.
- Karma Houdini- Every bad guy in the book.
- Most are police officers, which makes this especially jarring.
- The Kindle edition which came out in 2012 has an epilogue where Lance meets for an Exit Interview with the Assistant Chief Constable of the force. Promises are made by the ACC at that meeting that give some hope things will change.
- Police Are Useless: And HOW!
- Political Correctness Gone Mad: Where to begin?:
- Can't say "God forbid" in case it offends Atheists.
- Can't stand too close to a Detective Inspector as you are "invading personal space".
- Can't "strut" when you walk in case it upsets the public.
- Have to write essays as a punishment for insulting Irish travellers.
- These are fairly mild examples compared to some of the things Lance mentions
- Scotland Yard: Well, City of London Police but close.
- The Unreveal: The force Lance worked for as a full time, paid officer is never named or identified.
- White Anglo-Saxon Protestant: According to Lance, the most picked upon group in the UK police.