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Funny / Time Commanders

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  • The combat historians are often sources of very funny helpings of ham.
    • (From the battle of Telamon): "HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY BIG BARBARIAN PENIS! I'M HERE TO KILL YOU!!!"
    • From the Battle of Troy, Aryeh Nusbacher falls to his knees while watching from the railing, begging for the generals to take command. "Don't ask him ask a question! Tell him what to do! Please! Tell him what to do! Please! Tell him! What! To do!"
  • A reconnaissance mission with 8 Hunnic scouts degenerates into a ancient Roman Benny Hill sketch.
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  • From the Battle of Stamford Bridge, the Eagers kids had some hilarious moments:
    "But Muuuuum, I'm fighting Berserkers!"
    "They're not exactly Marilyn Monroe, are they?"
  • The team of vicars who commanded the Battle of Teutoburg Forest, incidentally one of the best teams, also had a few gems.
    • "And it doesn't take the brains of an Archbishop to figure out that you will be a captain".
  • "Boudicca, known as 'Bou' to her friends"...
  • From the Watling Street episode
    "You're just as dead with a pitchfork in your face as a sword"
    "If they try to use the testudo in this battle it's going to be really, really, stupid."
    Soon after, "Oh my god, they've formed the testudo."
  • When the players get Alexander killed during The Battle of Gaugamela, the experts calmly mention that being dead is a bit of a hitch if Alexander plans to rule Persia and be considered the "King of Kings"
  • In the very first episode, Battle of Trebia an exchange amongst the players:
    "Is Hannibal one of these horses?"
    "No, he's a person."
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  • "Jo? Stop moaning."
  • From the Battle of Zama both teams start the main battle by choosing a defensive strategy.


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