Funny / Supreme Power

• Hyperion finally meets Nighthawk, and launches into a very long attempt at a Patrick Stewart Speech. We see Hyperion from Nighthawk's POV, and as Hyperion starts talking about how his powers make him special and not everyone can do what he can, Nighthawk sees him in a white robe and hood with a KKK rally behind him. As Mark shifts into talking about being color-blind and helping everyone equally, Nighthawk sees him what can only be described as "redneck hippie", a line of similarly-attired white people walking under a banner reading "Welcome Bleeding Heart Liberals" towards a Disneyesque castle, while black people kneel at the side of the road. Finally, Marks transitions to talking about seeing the world as one big whole, without nations or boundaries, and Nighthawk sees him on Mars (with a "Welcome to Mars" sign in case you missed it) surrounded by little green men with eyes on stalks, one of them calling him "Daddy?"
• The first meeting of Doc Spectrum and Amphibian. Doc just got his ass kicked by Hyperion, and went to the bottom of the ocean in a force field to recover, and wakes up with the cute blue fish girl hovering outside.
  Spectrum: I... uhm... hi. I... No, I don't know how I got in here. I thought you might know. The last thing I remember— Yes, it was a very bad dream. But it wasn't just a— Hold on a second. . . You do know you're not moving your mouth when you talk, right? Yeah, okay, and I know that I am, and that I'm scaring away the fish with all the noise, but—
• General Alexander chewing out all the various projects that sprang up around Hyperion and his ship, and how badly they've all been bungled.
  Alexander: From the day that the ship bearing the individual codenamed Hyperion arrived her until today, the individuals in charge — and I use that phrase loosely — have run this project like a bunch of fat kids on a field trip to a candy factory. Covert Ops got their dibs in first, using soft-conditioning to prepare Hyperion as a strategic asset trained to implement policy by covert action, only to lose control of said asset, who is now roaming freely around the planet, answerable to no one, doing God only knows what. Soft-conditioning my ass. I don't care if it was the goddamned Carter years and everything was all touchy-feely... that individual should have been put in uniform on the payroll from the day he could spell his own name. You don't soft-condition a goddamned walking, talking nuclear bomb! Next, as uncovered by Dr. Steadman here, one of only three people in this room with any balls... it turns out that the bioweapons division decided to appropriate genetic material from said spacecraft for purposes of experimentation on human subjects without any oversight whatsoever! And what has been the result of this? Anywhere from twenty to twenty-five individuals escaped the testing facility, and it is unknown how many of them received enhancements from the alien genetic material — because the placebo count records and the roster of test subjects were lost in the fire! You had access to an artifact from a non-human civilization! Do you realize what you had, and what you let get away from you? Do you? Then let me explain it to you! Imagine handing an F-16 to the Aztecs in 1521, when Cortez was at war with them, and instead of learning to fly so they could slice Cortez and his army to shreds, they cut off the wings to use as shields, the guns as clubs, and they take off the wheels because they figured they would look really cool hanging from the temple ceiling! This is exactly what you people and your agencies have been doing since day one, and worse still, you've been doing it in secret, not just from the public, which we expect, but from each other! As a result, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing! And what has the left hand been doing all this time? Jerking off, that's what! And what've you got to show for it? One guy! And a bunch of melted metal where the ship used to be! Goddamnit! All right, this is the way it's going to be from now on. The President has authorized the creation of one office through which any and all information concerning any aspect of this project shall be routed. I am that office. There will be no rouge operations, no experiments, no covert ops without my authorization. The Wild West days are over. Now we set the agenda. One: reacquire Hyperion as a defense asset under government control. Two: track down and reacquire those individuals who escaped and determine which of them received enhancements before anyone discovers the role of the government in creating these individuals because that would be really fucking unfortunate!
• President George W Bush making an address after it's "revealed" that Hyperion is an alien. We see the speech twice in two page, once just the speech, the second with reactions. Gems include Bill and Hillary Clinton watching, Bill's response is "Well, Here We Go Again!," while Hillary sums it up with a succinct "Dick." Then Stan and his mom watching as Bush talks about using other superpowered people as a "deterrent force."
  Stan: Mom, did I just get drafted?
  Mom: Looks like.
  Stan: Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
  • Capped off with a borderline Seinfeldian Conversation between Joe and Kingsley, at the conclusion where President Bush states superhumans who don't join up are in trouble.
  Joe: No, don't worry, he's not talking about us. I've got it covered. — Of course I'm sure. — You're on the team. — Team, like a school of fish. — A school, it's a— No, you can't have any chips. They'd dissolve in the water. — Of course I'm sure.
• Stan delivers to Hyperion a hearfelt message from his mom. "If you see that nice, flying white boy, you tell him I said to hell with the government, he's welcome in my home anytime." Doubles as Heartwarming.

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