Funny / Spriggs: a Halo 3 Machinima

• Episode 1
  • Our introducion us to four members of the cast (Willy, Spriggs, Triple M, and Hammer), as well as Willy's homicidal hatred of Spriggs, and (from Willy and Triple M's conversation) that this is pretty much your typical day on Zambi 7, all sprinkled with amusing moments. The funny moment comes right at the end, when a missile fired by Willy enters and explodes in the room Hammer is occupying. Typical ragdoll animation for Hammer, right? Yes, except the camera (and supposedly Hammer's exact position in the room) are set up so that we see him get thrown out of the room, smack into an outside wall, drop half-on half-off an overhead walkway, then slide off said walkway to land -with a slight bounce- on the ground, groaning in pain and agony.
  • Also, part of Willy and Triple M's conversation, which is also the Main Page Quote:
  Triple M: Quote, I'll burn you all to get that son of a bitch?, unquote.
  Willy: He was asking for it.
  Triple M: But you missed him and HIT EVERYTHING ELSE!
• Episode Two, after escaping from an awkward moment between Meme and Hammer, Willy gives a good one:
  Willy: I am so gonna blog about this. *Spriggs drives up* Oh thank you, my dear Spriggs. Thank you for your simple focus in the age of the spectacular, for keeping it real with your witty insights and comical insults, and thank you for not asking me to take your pants off in front of your former girlfriend. As thanks, I shall make your death quick and painless. *Spriggs drives into him* SONOVABITCH!
• In Episode 4, we find out how the three aliens crash-landed on Zambi 7:
  Rotri: Do we have any food left on the ship?
  Soltri: No, Mr I-can't-drive-a-stick-shift.
  Rotri: Hey, it popped up in front of me.
  Soltri: What do you mean it popped up in front of you? How do you manage to not notice a planet, dumbass?
  Boltri: He's right, it is kind of hard to miss.

  • Cuts to Rotri at the helm of their spaceship, fast asleep
  Rotri: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  Ship's computer: Crash is imminent. Planet incoming. We're about to hit the planet, dumbass.
  • The unnecessarily complicated process required for Triple M to open a door:
  Willy: Now... This is what you're gonna need to do. Press the WORD, not the ENTIRE button, by pressing straight down and pulling straight back up. If the screen seems to have glitched in any way, shape or form, do NOT pull the handle. Instead, unplug the computer, count to 25, and try again. If the event that you select the wrong option, you will have very little time.
  Triple M: So what do I do?
  Willy: Run, do not walk to the nearest exit... Oh, and if you DO trigger something, and it's not the nerve gas, can you say something over the radio? I gotta get the hell outta dodge before the obibital bombardment hits-
  Triple M: Don't you mean orbital bombardment?
  Willy: Are you even looking at the screen right now?
  Triple M: *checks* ...Holy shit, it DOES say obibital. Why is this so complicated!?
  Willy: Because I can only remember to hotwire so many computers at any one time.
• Hammer, totally losing after a little discovery...
  Hammer: You know, I'm not that concerned about the mongooses, not even my warthog. I'm kinda curious about the rest of the warthogs, and I'd love you know where our power supply went to...but what I really want to know is WHERE ARE MY GOD DAMN TANKS?!?!
• "IF IT'S A CHOICE BETWEEN REGULAR OR EXTRA CRISPY, I WANT YOU EXTRA CRISPY!!!"
• Episode 6 seems to have the most funny moments of any episode:
  • The very first line of Episode 6 qualifies, spoken -not suprisingly- by Willy yet again trying to kill Spriggs, this time with a partially-repaired tank:
  Willy: That's it! The truce is off you son of a bitch! I'm coming at ya like a baby-making machine: BALLS TO THE WALL!
  • Just after this, Willy tries to select a type of tank shell to fire on Spriggs, only to find the tank has no ammo:
  Willy: Where the hell is all the ammo? Triple M, are you drunk or something?
  Triple M: (Hanging onto the back of the tank) DAMMIT WILLY I HAVEN'T FIXED IT YET! WHY WOULD I LOAD IT!
  Willy: Some people just can't get their priorites straight. Guess I'll just have to ram him [Spriggs].

  • Explanation: What makes the above funny is the completely calm and nonchalant way in which Willy say the second of his above sentences. Especially since this is Willy, who is normally (and at that moment is) on a rampage of trying to kill Spriggs.
  • During the vehicle chase scene(s) there are two more, One from Hammer:
  Hammer: (Hanging onto the back of the Mongoose) Specialist Spriggs, I order you- stop right this instant.
  Spriggs starts to skid stop, only for the tank Willy is chasing them in to crash into them and nearly run them over.
  Hammer: FORGET WHAT I SAID, FORGET WHAT I SAID!
  • And one from Triple M:
  Mimi: Sergeant!
  Triple M: Captain.
  Mimi: Triple M, what is that alien doing?
  Triple M: Third gear.
  Mimi: ...Oh. Well... um... Carry on.
  Rotri: I'm so glad I have your permission.
  Triple M: Geez, do you ever stop bitching?
  Rotri: Only when I don't have a pistol pointed at my head.
  Triple M swaps his pistol for a shotgun
  Rotri: Oh, that's so much more comforting.
  • IIIII KIIIIILL YOOOOU!!!
    • Some context: Mimi, Hammer, Willy and Triple M, having lost their vehicles, are taking the long walk back to camp. After a while, Mimi questions Willy as to why she found a load of fast-food/take-away wrappers in his room. Triple M (who is probably already tired and grumpy from all the walking they've done and have yet to do) does not react well to this, especially since it turns out the rest of the team have had to make do with M.R.Es (Meals-Ready-to-Eat) for the past two months. He eventually responds with punching Willy in the side of the head, screaming the above.
• Willy gives us this gem in the middle of his fantastic Freak Out during the final episode:
  Willy: PINK TEAM! YOU ARE SO FAR IN THE CLOSET, YOU MISSED THE TURN TO NARNIA!