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- "Chris and that Polish girl... they got out of the car at hospital, right?" "...Yeah. Yeah, I think so, yeah."
- The glue factory scene in the Russia episode.Translator: First, we break legs...
- "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING FLATCHESTED, COCKSUCKING, SPASTIC HORSEFUCKER!"
- In Chris' S2 episode, he is asked by his career guidance counseller to avoid swear words.Chris: So I told him he was a pitty boss and a pastard, and he could pucking shove his pucked polo up his packside! Stupid prick!
Josie: I think one slipped through there Chris...
Chris: Stupid punt...
- For a job interview, Chris is asked to sell a mug of tea to the interviewer. His method is to light the man's tie on fire. Just a teeny note, that won't work with houses.
- This whole dialogue between Devil!Maxxie and Angel!Anwar. And then, at the end...
- Tony's father tells a story about how his uncle always used to ask for 'breast' when his aunt was serving the chicken, and so, when he was asked, Jim would ask for thigh, as it was the least sexy thing he could think of. Tony and Effy have been quietly laughing at him together, until Jim announces the thigh joke, to which Tony replies that thighs can be sexy and that there are lots of things one can do with thighs. Jim, disheartened, replies that you can't, and then asks what part of the chicken everyone wants. Tony's response? "I'll have a bit of thigh, please."
- Efffies first bit of dialogue (other than a brief drug fueled monologue" is to channel the audience by calling Tony a "stupid wanker"
- James Fitch's glorious announcement of what is inside Emily's secret box."FANNIES! It's full of fannies!"
- Let's also not forget James' total awesomeness during Katie and Emily's S3 episode when he walks in on Katie changing."Whoa, you're naked, BITCH!"
- James again:"Mrs McPherson says as long as swearing's used in context, it's fucking A."
- Effy's father to her mother:"Don't you DARE use cunt and Oxfam in the same sentence!"
- Cook and JJ try to crash a party:Cook: Did we invite Freddie?
Cook: And why didn't we invite him?
JJ: Because he's a fun sponge?
Cook: You got it.
- This exchange from Emily's season 4 episode:Emily: Fake tan, fake boyfriend, fake concern.
Katie: I am concerned... BITCH!
- Cook's "I bought a fucking gateau!"
- Effy's mother, Anthea, has been cheating on her dad, Jim. The other guy Steve, Effy's dad's boss, shows up one day and, well... The exchange tips between horrifying and hilarious.Steve: For fuck's sake, I love you. (Anthea covers her mouth.) When are you fucking going to understand that?
Jim: Steve, I'm married. Straight. Don't do dick. No way no how, but -
- After Franky asks Mini and co to just start something or fuck off, because she's had enough shit already:Grace: Ooh, like, before Bristol or before? 'Cause I had a dream last night that I was like a slave, and I was working on a plantation—Mini and Liv: Shut up, Grace.
- The series 5 finale:Nick: Leave me to the bears!
Alo: We're in Somerset!
Nick: To the squirrels, then!
- The whole scene where Mini is looking for Franky, Liv and Matty.Mini: Hi! Have you by any chance seen, erm, two girls and a boy?
Old man: Bugger off!
Mini: Er, rudeness!
- "David Fucking Blood!" Made even funnier by Sean Teale and Will Merrick's delivery.
- The whole scene where Mini is looking for Franky, Liv and Matty.
- Rich's attempt at chatting up the "Angel of Death" in his S5 episode.