Funny / OverSimplified - Prohibition

• The Women's Christian Temperance Union had a questionable way of teaching the dangers of alcohol to children.
  Woman: Here's little Timmy. Uh oh, looks like Timmy's gonna have his first drink. He's taking a small sip of whiskey and Timmy has spontaneously combusted.
• A man, Mitch, asks his wife Thelma to sew his pants since he can't do it. Thelma replies to do it himself, since she's going out protesting, and Mitch then asks what would happen if he burns the house down and gets eaten by alligators. As soon as Thelma leaves, Mitch accidentally knocks over a lantern, causing the house to catch on fire, and he falls into a nearby lake full of alligators while trying to escape the housefire.
  Mitch: Hey Thelma! Look who's stupid now! (gets eaten by alligators)
• Wayne Wheeler's way of dealing with opposition to the Prohibition: release the lions.
• A boy tells his father he wants to work in the halls of Congress, the congressman says this:
  Congressman: Well son, if you work hard and never give up, one day, even you, could be a massive hypocrite.
• The Bad "Bad Acting" when George Remus' gangsters pretend to rob one of Remus' own trucks, complete with a script.
  Remus' Goon: (no emotions) Hey man, this a stick up.
  Transport Driver: (no emotions) Oh no, please don't hurt me.
  Remus' Goon: I won't hesitate to shoot.
  Transport Driver: Please, I have a wife and kids.
  Remus' Goon: Hand over all the whisky, fatty.
  Transport Driver: (angrily) HEY! Fatty isn't in the script, you JERK! (cries)
• Since sacramental wine was exempted from Prohibition, several people sign up to be rabbis, including Rabbi Pat O'Leary, Rabbi LL Cool J, and Rabbi Fluffy.
• A police officer busts up a speakeasy and is appalled to find his own mother there.
  Police officer: Mom?!? What would Dad say?
  Mom: Ask him yourself.
  Dad: (while onstage and dressed as a flapper girl) Dad would say quit being such a wet blanket and let Daddy earn his tips!
• The headlines on the tabloid magazine WOW! this time around:
  EXCLUSIVE! Snorky's saucy secrets
  New York's Top 10 cutest rabbis
  Man drinks beer and explodes!
  {Spaghetti Jeff} It's twins!
• Al Capone's hit list:
  Giovani Kablami
  Mario Luigi
  Keith Duffy from BoyZone
• "WHOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
• Prohibition agents searching the house of politician who voted "Yes" to Prohibition:
  Politician: Oh, come on now, fellas. I voted for Prohibition, I'm not gonna have an illegal still.
  (The first agent points at a still very poorly disguised as a boy and a sign reading "My son. (Not a still)")
  First agent: What's this?
  Politician: "That's my son, Freddy." Say hi, Freddy.
  First agent: Sir, this is obviously an illegal still.
  Politician: How dare you?!
  Second agent Hey, what's this in the bathtub?
  Politician: That's bath water.
  Second agent: Why does it taste like alcohol?
  Politician: Uh, here's a better question. Why are you tasting my bath water, weirdo? (takes the still and goes away with it) Come on, Freddy. Let's get away from these perverts.
• A group of mobsters plotting to hijack a liquor truck are named Fat Tony, Fat Joey, Fat Louie, and Fat Paulie. Before they leave, Fat Louie tells his wife Fat Susan not to make dinner for him.
  Susan: Stop calling me "Fat Susan!"
  Mobsters: (various stereotypical Italian sounds)
• The wanted posters that lists "Al Cohol" as public enemy #1. Other miscreants include the drunk farmer who stabbed Wheeler with a pitchfork (which actually happened), and Ce Real, who is wanted for masquerading as soup.

---