Funny / Man Down

• Dan refers to himself as "the Colonel Abrams of my own body". Brian doesn't know who Colonel Abrams is, so Jo and Dan sing "Trapped" a capella. What's extra funny is that Dan sings with a falsetto voice while looking dead serious.
• Dad tells Dan about his first love. Since her mother was very devout, they couldn't see each other outside of school hours, so Dad would go up to her window and blow her a kiss every night. When Dan expresses how touching that story was, Dad tells him that the relationship ended with them having wild outdoor sex.
  "Stay away from those gingers. It's a nest down there!"
• Dan gets a date, but he makes Brian go on a dry run with him to avoid screwing things up, mostly by threatening to make creepy noises whenever they're in public if Brian says no.
  "Heh, heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh..."
  • While out, Dan sees the woman he was about to date having dinner with another man and makes a scene out of her supposed unfaithfulness. Then he realises Naomi witnessed the whole thing.His pathetic attempts to insult anyone who stares at him is priceless.
  (To the sky) "Oh, well done. I don't even believe in you and you've done me up like bastard kipper. (to his potential date) Well FUCK YOU WINONA RYDER! (to Naomi) And FUCK YOU NAOMI! (to everyone else) And...FUCK YOU, SOCK-FEET! AND YOU, LITTLE TINY BAG-SHOULDER! AND YOU, I'VE SEEN YOU BEHIND ME EARRING-EARS! FUCKING RICE-MOUTH! FUCK YOU, BAT-WING SLEEVES! OH, SOMEONE'S PUT GEL IN HIS HAIR! FUCK YOU, GEL-HEAD! OHHH FUCK YOU, CRACKER-HAND!"
• The running gag that Dan doesn't get along with a snooty pupil by the name of Karen. When she criticises him one too many times, he asks the whole class if any of them actually like Karen.
• Dan's dad manages to make is own death hilarious. His last request is that during the reading of the will, Dan dress like a giant baby while his mother dress like a burlesque performer. The will then turns out to be a series of lewd anecdotes about Dan's mum followed by a lengthy putdown of Dan.
• Dan's date with a woman almost half his age. First off, Nesta dyed his hair jet-black, which combined with Dan's choice of wardrobe makes him look like a Disco Dan in the worst possible way. When they go to a nightclub, Dan gets in a tiff with security because - of all things - the pills they find on him weren't worth confiscating. Things go from bad to worse when Dan ends up pissing himself due to his agitated prostate. The date ends with his date doing some aggressive role-play sex that causes Dan to space out afterwards.
• Dan finds his childhood diary, which is full of entries about his dear friend "bear" that he showed lots of affection towards. Unable to remember who "bear" was, Dan assumed he was writing about a toy. When Dan tries looking for a teddy bear among his old toys and panics upon not finding one, Brian finally tells him that he was Bear. Both Dan and Brian then scream their heads off upon realising how homoerotic their friendship was in hindsight. For added hilarity, Dan's memories of Bear being replaced with Brian weren't shown as two boys, but Dan and Brian as adults dressed as schoolboys hugging, kissing, holding hands and taking baths together.
• Dan attends his son's baptism, but due to taking some unlabelled medication (possibly Viagra) is at risk of sporting a Raging Stiffie. Brian tells him to just avoid thinking sexual thoughts, but Dan somehow manages to see several aged women in church-appropriate attire as provocative harlots. Naturally, the whole thing goes pear-shaped when he's asked to stand up.