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  • When Andy was going to ask Mr. Applegate for a pay raise, Ora asked him to do a rehearsal with Louie playing his boss.
    Andy: I-I...w-ould like....to ask...for....a...rise.
    Louie: No.
    Andy: No?! Just no?! That's all?! That's it! Go to your room!
    Louie: You're fired.
    Ora: Andy, Louie, now just calm down.
    Andy: Calm down? He just fired me!
  • Andy's speech at Henrietta's funeral is mostly a Heartwarming Moment, but few lines are just hilarious.
    Andy: She was hard. The hardest I knew. And don't forget I was on a front. If Granny would take a part in World War I, you can bet your best slippers, there wouldn't have been a sequel!
  • Andy is in general good at combining Funny Moments with Heartwarming Moments, sometimes adding a Moment of Awesome. He is probably the only man who saved his entire regiment by having his buttocks set on fire. Not to mention that time he jumped at Ora's brother Sammy's plane, when it was departing, and climbed into pilot's cockpit, just so he could apologize to him.
    Sammy: Andy, what are you doing?!
    Andy (while hanging outside the window): I'm wing-walking! It's good for the ticker!
  • Andy takes it upon himself to try rehabilitating Louie after the latter became a shut-in following a massive tornado. (Considering Louie was trapped in a trash can and flung around by said tornado, who could blame him?) One of his methods involves playing a game of Hangman to try to get Louie to admit he's afraid of tornadoes. Being the Deadpan Snarker he is, Louie "guesses" the last letter is a "Y".
    Andy: TORNADY?! What a "tornady"?!
  • We have this exchange from "Buzz Stop".
    Andy: Bees are nature's kamikaze pilots! They're bayonets with wings. My great uncle Thermidor was destroyed by bees!
    Louie: I thought he died of old age?
    Andy: Well, the bees destroyed his spirit, then old age got 'im. *groans*
  • The intro features Louie watching the real-life Anderson on TV. He introduces the program with, "Let me introduce you to my family." The first shot of the opening montage? Andy getting dragged by a sled dog team, which perfectly sets the mood for the sort of show you're about to see.
  • From "Behind Every Good Coach"
    Louie: Don't move, Dad! You've got something on your head!
    Andy {wearing a hat with Louie's team's chipmunk mascot} I know.
    Louie: I think it's alive! I'll get it.
    He readies to bring his bat down Andy's head until his dad blocks it.
  • Andy handing out allowances in "An Anderson Dozen" is quite a sight.
    Andy: All right, fall in. Time to bleed the old man dry. Okay, Danny, here's your dollar for never mowing the lawn!
    Danny: Thanks, Dad.
    Andy: And, Laura, I believe you get 75 cents for using the telephone—
    Laura: Thank you.
    Andy: —24 hours a day! And, Carol, here's a half a buck, y'know, for not taking out the garbage! And, Louie, I forget whatever it is you're not doing.
    Tommy: Hey, how 'bout a little action down here?
    Andy: Sorry about that. Didn't mean to stiff ya. Here's your nickel, Tommy, for being five-years-old and contributing absolutely nothing! Eh, but I love ya anyway. [pats him on the head]
    • After a phone call from the doctor about a pregnancy test, Ora tries to delicately break the news to Andy with assorted euphemisms, but Comically Missing the Point ensues (e.g. he thinks food is burning when she mentions a bun in the oven). When Laura outright asks if Ora is pregnant, Andy lets out a Flat "What" and promptly faints.
    • On the prospect of bringing yet another child into an already crowded house, Ora says they'll need a plan and Andy immediately has an idea: get rid of one of the kids they already have.
      Ora: Oh, Andy, you don't mean that.
      Andy: [smirking] Of course, I don't. We gotta get rid of two or three of 'em to really make a difference.

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