Short as it was (and later continued on another site), Fate/Apocrabridged takes every opportunity to be more hilarious than the original material.
Episode 1: Clarent Call
- The opening of the episode:Kairi: So, let me get this straight: you called me away- in the middle of a hit, mind you- to ask me to fight actual Dracula for a gold cup. Am I hearing this right? Did I miss anything there?
Rocco Yeah, we're in need of a seventh Master. Particularly, we need a Saber-class Servant.
Kairi: Oh, you mean the kind that's most likely to hate me for being a shady assassin with no moral code. Yeah, that doesn't really make this any more enticing. - What is the cause of the Great Holy Grail War here? Simple: the Nazis did it.
- Rocco has trouble pronouncing Yggdmillennia.
- Kairi asks Rocco why he didn't just hire a group of mages to get the Grail back:Rocco: Yeah, well, funny story...
(cuts to the forest)
Darnic: You walk... onto my property... and soil it with your blood. Tell me, how do you intend to pay for all of this?
Mage in the Woods: (fearful squeal)
Darnic: Oh God, now I feel like an asshole. I know, old man yelling at you to get off his lawn- er, woods. You know, just- go home. Get outta here. - Kairi reluctantly agrees to the job, but expects cash within the week. There's just one problem:Rocco: Yeeeeeaaaaaah...
Kairi: You're broke, aren't you?
Rocco: We kinda paid all those mages in advance.
Kairi: Of fucking course you did. - Rocco offers Kairi another form of payment: the snakes on the shelf behind him.Kairi: ...You're serious.
Rocco: Kairi, I lost a hundred men yesterday to Count Motherfucking Dracula. Take the snakes and get out of my office. - Much like in canon, Mordred takes exception to being called a woman. Only this time, her threat lacks any subtlety:Mordred: Bring up my vagina one more time, and I'll give you one where your neck should be.
Kairi: (raises hands in defense) Okay, point taken. Ix-nay on the enis-pay. Can we... put the sword away, please?
Mordred: (scoffs) You're not my dad. - Kairi admits that he doesn't know much about Mordred apart from what he read on Wikipedia, but doesn't completely trust it on account of the site stating that King Arthur was her uncle:Mordred: He was.
Kairi: But you just said he was your dad.
Mordred: He was.
Kairi: Ugh, that's gross.
Mordred: First, you revive dead bodies. You can't talk. Second, you have (stomps on the remains of the catalyst) NO FUCKING IDEA! - After the Black Faction summons their Servants, Gordes expresses disappointment on not summoning Astolfo, but is unaware of the Rider's true gender, even though the others immediately knew:Gordes: Aw, man, I wish I got that one. She looks very cute.
Astolfo: (snickers)
Vlad: Who's gonna tell him?
Darnic: Nobody. Nobody will say anything, and that is the joke. - Gordes shows he's even dumber than his canon self by using a Command Seal to make Siegfried speak in Pig Latin. Why? To keep his True Name a secret.
- Even Vlad has difficulty pronouncing Yggdmillennia, and prompts that they get a new name, eventually settling for Black Faction.
- Vlad ends his Badass Creed with a familiar quote:Vlad: (clears throat) FUCK THE RED TEAM!
- Much like in canon, Shirou fails to convince Kairi to hand Mordred over to him, but settles for exchanging information. He just wants Kairi to do one thing for him in return:
