Funny / Demon of Wind

• Let's face it: Rai himself is a walking CMOF.
• "Strange. My leg hairs are doing that strange tingly thing they do when fate is being needlessly tempted."
• From one of the very first chapters:
  Clay: "So what do you want?"
  Rai: "I want to take your Shen Gong Wu, enslave the temple, claim Kimiko as my concubine, take over the world, cause ten thousand years of darkness and eat a box of cute little kittens." *sees everyone reaching for their Wu* "For goodness sake, it was a joke. Honestly you would think that a temple founded by Dashi would at least have a sense of humour."
• Rai! You put your right hand in and then you shake it all about.
• Rai needing a suitable place to pass out after running with Kimiko on his back for miles on end. He settles for the temple's hard stone floors.
• Master Fung reassures his students that, if fate has a hand in it, they will meet Rai again.
  Fung: "A spider waits for the fly to come to him, not the other way round."
  Random person in the background: "Intruder! The demon has returned!"
  Clay: "That fly must have a death wish."
  • And the subsequent meeting between Rai and the temple monks.
  Rai: Back off. Demon come in peace.
  Monk: Why should we believe that?
  Rai: Because if I wasn't I'd probably be feeding on your flesh right now.
  *arrows launched*
  Rai: WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS TAKE A JOKE!?
• Jack winding up in a mental institution. That is all.
• Chiyoko plays Rai at his own snarky game.
  Rai: "So I just put this on and all hell breaks loose."
  Chiyoko: "Well, no. You'll just be a giant meat finger puppet to an entity that's demonic, evil, and probably a little cranky."
  Rai: "... I like you."
• Young Rai starts out as simply Rai's human/weaker side of his brain. Soon, he develops a massive backbone and in chapter 22, smacks some sense into Rai. Literally. He gets slapped by his own hallucination.
• "Alright, 'washing machine', here's how this will work; I will put the clothing in, you will wash it. No shrinking, no running colours and no missing socks. Do we understand each other?" *beat* "I will take your silence as a sign that we are in agreement."
• Rai eventually gets tired of hearing Omi mess up modern speaking patterns. "Omi, I respect you as a warrior and like you as a friend, but for love of all things sweet and chocolate-flavored LEARN THE MODERN LANGUAGE! If a demon locked away for 1500 years can do it, it can't be that hard."
  • "At least I do not chuckle every time I hear the word 'disembowel'!"
• Rai's attempt at murdering Chucky Choo.
• Chase kicks Wuya out of his lair and off the cliff. Cyclops soon follows.
  "And take your minion with you!"
• "You, Rai, Heylin Demon of Wind, are doing the dishes." "And you, Kimiko, Xiaolin Dragon of Fire, are insulting both of us by talking like that."
• Meeting Jack proves for some interesting dialogue.
  Rai: You're so pale. You undead or something?
  Jack: You know, I like the way that sounds. Jack Spicer, Undead Overlord.
  Rai: Well in that case, I'm going to have to cut your head off so that you can be laid to rest.
  Jack: AHHH! I'M HUMAN! I'M HUMAN!
• Chapter 21. Just... Just chapter 21.
• "Chase Dung, is that you?" "My name is Chase Young!"
• Chapter eight gives us this exchange:
  Kimiko: "So you had a mother?"
  Rai: "Of course I had a mother. What? Did you think I was born from the souls of children devoured by a flock of hell born condors whose spirits were combined in cursed storm created by an undead wizard?"
  *beat*
  Kimiko: "No, but something tells me you've had just a bit too much time on your hands to think that up."
• Anytime the incident with the emperor's daughter is mentioned.
• "Hey there, Jacky. Still undead?"
• Omi and the crew finding Rai sleeping in the broom closet.
  Omi: "Excuse me Rai, may I ask what you are doing?"
  Rai: "What does it look like I'm doing?"
  Omi: "Well, if I did not know any better, I would say that you were asleep. However, I know better."
  Rai: "And it is so fortunate that you do. The truth is that I have actually been rallying the cleaning products to rise up against you oppressive humans. Come the next blood moon, we will strike and spread our lemony freshness throughout the whole world."
  Omi: "Really?"
  Rai: "No, numbskull, I was actually trying to get some sleep."
• Chapter fifteen, with Rai's Refuge in Audacity moment and then Kimiko having him run all around with her on his back.
• "So since we're equals, those that mean I'm allowed to crack bald jokes?" "No you are not." "Not even small ones?" "No." "Just one, please."
• Rai explaining his first training exercise to Kimiko.
  "The two platforms represent good and evil, on one I take something, on the other I give something, movement of the water represents how we are all connected, as we exhale someone else inhales creating a balance, the water itself represents life, the rope represents the fine line I must walk between humanity and savagery, the way I hold my arms represents how I offer all I am to the world and the sash around my waist represents what I'm going to hang my self with if I have to do this for much longer."
• Anytime chocolate ice cream is mentioned.
• Dojo's reaction to seeing Rai as a student.
  Rai: Well isn't someone a cheerful little dragon today.
  Dojo: You bet I am! The sun is shining, the Wu are safe and that no-good dragon munching demon Rai is nowhere... near... here.
  Rai: Long time no see.
  Dojo: AAAAAH!
  • DEMON!! VANQUISH! SLAY! UNLEASH GRAND SCALE BUTT-WHOOP!
• Rai doesn't take to riding on Dojo well...
• "Oh God, it's finally happened. Being around people that don't want me dead has finally driven me sane!" "Oh get a hold of yourself man, we're still here!"
• In Chapter 7, Kimiko thinking about butt-naked Rai and how she is breaking No# 1 on "Aunt Natsumi's puberty no-no list." It's as funny as it sounds.
• Guan's interactions with Rai are either this or heartwarming.
  Guan:Despite him switching sides, Rai's training and battle experience was founded on battling the forces of good. He knows how the Heylin side operates and how to take on the Xiaolin side. He knows how to be devious, ruthless and underhanded to get the job done.
  Rai: I also like long walks on the beach, romantic candle lit dinners and meaningful conversations.
• "Only if mine comes with extra syrup, Mr. Panda."
• When Chiyoko and Kimiko are getting ready to cure Rai, Chiyoko says Kimiko may have to hurt Rai to restrain and keep him in line. She has no qualms about this.
  Chiyoko:You may be forced to resort to violent means of restraining him.
  Kimiko: [cracks knuckles] Right.
  Chiyoko: I know he's your friend but now is not the time for restraint.
  Kimiko: Gotcha.
  Chiyoko: Any pain he experiences will fade and this is for the best in the long run.
  Kimiko: Good to know.
  Chiyoko:You're not worried at all about hurting him are you?
  Kimiko: Not at all.
• This juicy number:
  Rai: [nervous] Umm...Kimiko? You know I still kinda suck at this whole talking like a civil human being...but now that I'm human I was kinda wondering if you would...
  Kimiko: Has it suddenly become darker?
  [cue Heylin Eclipse]
  Rai: [throws hands up] You just couldn't let me have my moment. Could you, universe?
• When Wuya is threatening to cut Kimiko's throat:
  Rai: Wuya, you really don't want to do that.
  Wuya: And why is tha...[trails off when seeing Rai's Xiaolin robes]
  Rai: Well aside from the obvious mess, if that blade is as sharp as it looks and you went in from that angle, chances are you'll go straight through the Carotid artery, meaning she probably bleed out in two minutes or less so while unpleasant, it's by far not the most agonizing way to die.
  *beat*
  Rai: What I meant to say is, 'no Wuya. Killing is wrong. Bad Wuya, bad bad Wuya'.
• In the epilogue:
  Clay: Rai still wants five minutes alone with the two so that they could settle their differences like men.
  Kimiko: What? Violently?
  Clay: Mmm hmmm, Rai wanted to try out his new sword on their ungrateful hides. But I told him dat da only weapon suitable for jerks like them is 'Love and Tolerance'.
  Kimiko: [rolls eyes]...Wait, isn't 'Love and Tolerance' the name you gave your baseball bat?
  Clay: Yup.