Funny / Amorous Adventures

• In the Ysolda romance quest, at one point you have to talk with Mikael, and the Dragonborn asks why Ysolda wanted a gift of a mammoth tusk. Mikael strongly suspects her to use it as a sextoy (and is disgusted by this thought), while the Dragonborn expresses difficulty to believe it is even physically possible to use a mammoth tusk that way. After advancing the quest, you learn from her that she indeed used it as an improvised dildo.
• The "New, New Malacath Blues" quest. The goal is to help a few Orc strongholds in order to make them accept to trade ore with Adrianne Avenicci. One of the tasks consists in investigating why the wives of Chief Mauhulakh of Narzulbur met premature death. Orcs suspect Chief Mauhulakh is cursed, and his situation is well-known to other Orc strongholds. So, the Dragonborn comes to Narzulbur with Borgakh the Steel Heart, the daughter of another Orc chief, who would be become Chief Mauhulak next wife if the curse is lifted. After a quick investigation, both suspect there's no curse but the wives have been poisoned by Chief Mauhulak's aunts, who were jealous. Borgakh and the Dragonborn decide to pretend they believe there's really a curse^note Borgakh wasn't very eager to have an Arranged Marriage anyway, and is of course even less eager to be murdered, so they make no mystery that they'll go to ask the Orc god Malacath about how to lift the curse. Once in front of Malacath's shrine, instead of praying, the Dragonborn explains to Borgakh the plan would be to actually convince every stronghold that Chief Mauhulak is really cursed, to make sure no other tribe send daughters who would be soon murdered by their sisters-in-law. Then, they have sex in front of the shrine. Then, they go back to Chief Mauhulak and the Dragonborn tells him a made-up divine revelation about how the cause of the wives death being Chief Mauhulak's "deadly seed" (i.e. poisoned semen) and that he'll need a "super-wife" to survive the ordeal, but none of the chieftain daughters from other Orc strongholds would qualify. The Dragonborn eventually drops a clue about the ideal wife being somewhere in the wood, sending him on a Snipe Hunt. The icing on the cake is the phrasing of the dialog, full of awkward pauses and ellipses, implying that the Dragonborn is making the explanation up while talking. And Chief Mauhulak believed it!
• The, ahem, climax of Elisif's quest. To lift a curse affecting her, she symbolically marries the Dragonborn in Solitude's Temple of Divines by having sex with him on a bed set up in the middle of the shrines, with an audience of several inhabitants of the city. Even more hilarious if you play the Dirty version, since they are scripted to react. With the lines normally played when NPCs witness a dragon's death ("It's like the ancient legends!"). And the bard Lisette plays "The Dragonborn Comes" during the scene!
• Serana comparing one of her (consensual) sexual interaction with the Dragonborn to her being raped by Molag Bal has the Dragonborn answering "I'm glad I don't make love like Molag Bal!"
  • Another one in the same theme:
  Serena: [Dibella] is more powerful than Molag Bal.
  Dragonborn: Probably better sex, too.
  Serena: Yeah.
• Combination between Vanilla AI of the NPCs^note merchants are scripted to follow the player character if they start wandering in their house, outside of the area they use as their store, to make thievery harder, and the usual absence of reaction from seeing the Dragonborn having sex in public can lead to hilarious moments if you got the right combination of place and NPCs involved. For instance, asking Adrianne Avenicci for sex then leading her in the house's bedroom will result in her husband Ulfberth War-Bear following them, then quietly watching the Dragonborn having sex with his wife in their own bed. Similarly, hitting on Irileth while she stands near Dragonsreach's throne results in her and the Dragonborn exchanging some explicit words while Baalgruf stares at the player character without reacting^note NPCs are scripted to turn their head toward the player character if they are close enough.
• Farkas helps the Dragonborn to obtain Njada's affection with this poem:
  Warriors In The Wild (Living Like The Nords Of Old) - A Poem

  Blood Spray Is Red
  Frostbite Is Blue
  I Smashed A Giant
  To Give Honor To You
  • Of course, this is Farkas we're talking about here.
• Completing the quests to unlock Elisif as a follower, the prerequisites to have Elisif present at the Thalmor Embassy during "Diplomatic Immunity", and using cheats to bring Follower!Elisif during this quest will result in two Elisif being present at the reception, and while it would logicall ruin the charade of Elisif being replaced by a body double on Solitude's throne, nobody will bat an eyelid.