- Arlo thinking that Officer Obie is going to give him a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone. Hey, he didn't expect it, but that it even crossed his mind is hilarious.
- Officer Obie taking all that effort to document the crime of littering, up to and including twenty-seven eight-by-ten glossy color photographs of the crime scene, only to find out the judge presiding in the case is vision-impaired. In short, "Another case of American Blind Justice."
- This moment during Arlo's induction ordeal:And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench there...
- "'...and creatin' a nuisance!' And they all came back and shook my hand...!"
- Telling the psychiatrist that he wants to kill as a way to avoid the draft and jumping up and down screaming "Kill, kill, kill", only for the psychiatrist to join him and a Sergeant declare him to be suitable for military service.
- On the 30th anniversary recording, Arlo is informed by Jimmy Carter's son Chip that Richard Nixon apparently owned a copy of the original Alice's Restaurant record. He's suddenly reminded of Nixon's infamous Watergate tape, which mysteriously omitted 18 minutes and 20 second of recording. Then he remembers how long "Alice's Restaurant" is, and his mind fills in the blanks...
- Somewhat related is a story he tells on his Live In Sydney album about one performance of the song where he forgot the words halfway through. Neither his son Abe or his daughter Sarah Lee, who were in his band, could help him recall the next line. After saving face with some ad libbing, Arlo takes his kids back stage and scolds them by saying "I know my dad's songs!"
Funny / Alice's Restaurant