The four-hour Hamlet drinking game . Before thou sayeth goodbye to thine liver; make sure the drink is not poisoned, like at the end of the play.
- Chug a beer for a soliloquy.
- Drink whenever a vagina joke is made.
- Drink whenever a famous actor is clearly shoehorned into the movie.
- Drink whenever a flashback or scene clearly not in the original text happens.
- Do a shot every time BRIAN BLESSED!!!!! appears onscreen. Take a sip of beer every time Kenneth Branagh is clearly trying to out-ham him.
- Drink whenever Gérard Depardieu says "My lord".
- Drink whenever someone enters/exits through a secret door.
- Do a shot for every major character who dies in the final scene.
For the play in general:
Take only a sip whenever
- Someone tells a lie.
- Two sips if it's Hamlet being lied to.
- Toast if Hamlet easily sees through the lie.
- Two sips if it's Hamlet being lied to.
- A new expendable character appears.
- Horatio says "my lord."
- Ophelia says "my lord."
- Claudius uses the Royal "We".
- Polonius is about to stop talking . . . and then doesn't.
- Hamlet compares someone to a mythological figure.
- Someone reads from a paper.
- A messenger is sent.
- Claudius says something embarrassingly suspicious.
- Ophelia's chastity is mentioned.
- Hamlet solioquizes.
- Someone dies.
- Fortinbras is mentioned (finish the bottle and cry when he appears).