- Written By: ThomasPOV: JerryChapter Number: 14Deaths: Books(1)
Over Clarisse's objections, Jerry faces his next opponent, Book, who is larger than Rika. Jerry, channeling the author, says that Books wrote "pamphlets" about how he contradicts himself all the time (with him adding that he doesn't), and that Books "mocks the words that I write by steeling them and added more words" (essentially Buffy Speak for saying that Books did an MST of BIC's work, which has, unfortunately, been taken down).
Jerry starts off on yet another speech about evil gods, but Books responds with "Laugh out loud", and reiterates it when Jerry asks if that's all he has to say. Jerry then dismisses him as "an idiot only suited to telling lies and killing innocent Christians."
The battle then begins, and for about a paragraph of largely incoherent narration, they seek each other's weaknesses. Before long, however, Jerry declares that Books will never win, and beheads him.
Stalin, once again, is unfazed at the loss of a minion, saying that he has yet another one- Grover, who is "demon processed." The narration also points out that all this time, Grover has been cloned by the atheists to "annoy" Christians (which doesn't make sense, because Grover has been a Prayer Warrior since his third death), and the author insists that the readers not bring up him dying and returning.
Jerry declares his willingness to deal with Grover by any means necessary, even killing him, to get to Stalin, whether out of the Prayer Warriors' ruthlessness toward their allies (see Percy killing Ebony for being a rape victim), or the belief that he'll come back. He then turns to some of his followers, who inexplicably did a Face-Heel Turn offscreen and gives them the same speech Percy gave Rachel. Evidently, that one was quite an effective speech, because the listeners immediately do a Heel-Face Turn.
Claire triumphantly declares that "All your armies are belong to us", but Stalin smugly reminds her that Grover is under his control. Jerry accuses Stalin of being Satan's puppet as much as Grover is his puppet, causing Stalin to order him to kill him and teleporting away, leaving Jerry and Grover to face each other. Four random Bible verses follow.
- Next Installment: Jerry fights the "demon processed" Grover.
