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Live Blogs The Adventure of Failure Shepard or How Not to Play the Mass Effect Trilogy
lrrose2013-03-15 21:22:43

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Fail Shep, Kaidan and James arrive at the Mars Archives to find that Cerberus has taken the place over. Cerberus is operating under orders to kill anyone they find, so there's no choice but to fight. After entering the Alliance base that houses the Archives, the squad finds Liara. Liara reveals that she has discovered plans for a Prothean superweapon called the Crucible which should be able to defeat the Reapers. However, the plans are in the Archives themselves, which are located deep in the base. Fail Shep sends James back because the game isn't designed for the player to have a squad of more than three people to secure their Kodiak Shuttle in case they need to get the hell out of dodge.

During the trek through the Mars base, Fail Shep learns three things:

1. Cerberus managed to breach the base's defenses with the help of The Mole, a scientist named Eva Core.

2. TIM has put Reaper implants into all Cerberus troops. This has increased their strength and reflexes at the cost of turning them into disfigured cyborgs who only live to serve Cerberus.

3. Kaidan has a personality now. Unfortunately, it involves being a conspiracy theorist who insists that Fail Shep is somehow still working for Cerberus. Fail Shep does not appreciate this and tells him to shut up or piss off.

Fail Shep et al reach the Archives, where TIM speaks to them via hologram. TIM claims that he has found a way to control the Reapers. He plans to use the Reapers to ensure human dominance throughout the galaxy and views Shepard's plans to destroy the Reapers as a threat to humanity. Fail Shep tells him to go to hell.

While TIM was talking to Fail Shep, Dr. Eva was downloading the data on the Crucible and deleting it from the Archives. Cue chase sequence where Dr. Eva demonstrates superhuman speed and reflexes, as well as the ability to breath in Mars' atmosphere without a helmet.

Dr. Eva reaches a shuttle, but James shows up and rams it with the Kodiak. Since James is a main character, he is unharmed. Dr. Eva emerges from the flaming wreckage of her shuttle. Turns out she's a robot. She proceeds to deliver a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown to Kaidan before Fail Shep deactivates her with his pistol.

Fail Shep grabs Dr. Eva (who has the data contained within her hardware) and Kaidan and the squad manages to get away from Mars just as the Reapers arrive. They set a course for the Citadel in the hope that the doctors there can save Kaidan's life.

Death List (No changes):

  • Countless Mooks and civilians
  • Jenkins (Squadmate, Plot)
  • Nihlus (Plot)
  • Fist
  • Stirling
  • Anoleis
  • Gianna
  • Ventralis
  • Benezia (Plot)
  • Rachni Queen
  • Peak 15 Scientists
  • Talitha
  • Conrad
  • Jeong
  • Zhu's Hope Colonists
  • Fai Dan (Plot)
  • The Thorian (Plot)
  • Shiala
  • Tonn Actus (Mission)
  • Wayne
  • Toombs
  • Kirrahe
  • Menos Avot (Plot)
  • Droyas (Plot)
  • Ganto Imness
  • Ashley (Squadmate, Love Interest)
  • Saren (Plot)
  • Sovereign (Plot)
  • Pressly (Plot)
  • Fail Shep (Plot, Resurrected)
  • 20 Normandy Crewmen (Plot)
  • Wilson (Squadmate, Plot)
  • Prazza (Plot)
  • Whitson
  • Jaroth (Plot)
  • Garm (Plot)
  • Jentha (Plot)
  • Tarak (Plot)
  • Kuril (Plot)
  • Jedore (Plot)
  • Okeer (Plot)
  • Daniel
  • Abducted Horizon Colonists (Plot)
  • Kal'Reeger
  • Kureck (Mission)
  • Aresh
  • Niftu Cal
  • Wasea (Mission)
  • Nassana (Mission)
  • Niket (Mission)
  • Enyala (Mission)
  • Weyrloc Guld (Mission)
  • Maelon
  • Rael'Zorah (Plot)
  • Talid
  • Legion (Squadmate)
  • Thane (Squadmate)
  • Garrus (Squadmate)
  • The Original Crew of the Normandy SR-2, including:
    • Kelly (Quasi-Love Interest)
    • Gardner
    • Ken and Gabby
  • Jacob (Squadmate)
  • Mordin (Squadmate)
  • Grunt (Squadmate)
  • Miranda (Squadmate)
  • Tali (Squadmate)
  • Collector General (Plot)
  • Zaeed (Squadmate)
  • The Boy (Plot)

Comments

EndarkCuli Since: Dec, 1969
Mar 15th 2013 at 10:11:31 PM
Ah, Core...she'll be an interesting case when it comes time to add her name to the list of casualties. I mean, even though Legion is just a part of a greater collective, at least it showed more personality than I think Core ever will. Still, if she wasn't outed by the Mars researchers immediately (and assuming that they're more competent than Shepherd), I suppose she must have at least some degree of Artificial Intelligence...
lrrose Since: Dec, 1969
Mar 16th 2013 at 11:30:20 AM
I believe that Dr. Eva is an AI. She gives orders to the Cerberus soldiers on Mars, her hardware is apparently capable of carrying an AI and she was created as a replacement for EDI.
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