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Live Blog When Worlds Collide: VS. The Boskeyverse
Psyga3152012-02-26 20:57:59

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Episode 9: Spike Tommy All Dogs 199 Nicktoon Great Battle

PREVIOUSLY ON WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE: VS. THE BOSKEYVERSE!

FUCK THIS FANFIC!

Wataru: You wonder why I keep his anger levels down?

{clips of Psyga destroying the fanfic show}

Wataru: This is why. The best we can do now is to feed Psygaís blood thirst. When this song ends, we will give him the next chapter. And I will make sure he doesnít rage like he did a few minutes ago.

AND NOW THE CONTINUATION!


{the song ends, and Psyga wakes up}

Ugh... Wow... That was bad. {is offered a glass of water and a pill} Huh? Whatís this?

Kazuma: I see that you need some form of sedative in order to function to my liking.

Thanks, but Iím calm now. Next chapter.

Kazuma: Uh, why?

Look, weíre so far into this that thereís no backing out.

Kazuma: Uh... Okay then...

{the fanfic is projected on screen}

Wait, I thought I would read this on a paper.

Kazuma: Yeah, after your little incident a few minutes ago, Wataru and I took some measures to avoid a repeat of that.

Wait, you and Wataru are working together now?

Kazuma: Look, just read the chapter, Iíll explain later.

... Okay then...


So we start off with...

"I miss Tommy." "Who's Tommy?" "He's my friend. I haven't seen him since I died. He was only 1 year old."

Spike remembering that he had a friend he knew for so long. Wow, now I am seeing actual Spike instead of Charlie in Spikeís clothing. Just for the record, every time Spike acts like Spike, I will read him in... well... Spikeís voice.

Oh, and it just so happens that the Rugrats are visiting San Francisco.

And-

"Perfect," Joka sneered, "Now I can start with my master plan to invade the Viacom corporate structure and destroy the Nicktoons and make Nickelodeon an adult channel once and for all!"

... Flat "What". Did I just read that right? Anyways, this guy is ripping off Redís plan, but instead of dragging all the dogs to hell, heís dragging... Oh God...

Only this time, he is going to kidnap all of the ones who can hear the horn. Nick's horn, owned by Nickelodeon. It doesn't make any ordinary horn sound, but emits the special signal that goes — "Nick-a-Nick-a, a-Nick-Nick-Nick, Nickelodeon!"

... Iím not making this up... This is so meta that itís becoming funny... So this villain, Joka, is a dragon... For all merits, I will imagine him as Adult!Dragon!Spike. But orange.

Meanwhile, Arnold, Helga, Eliza, Darwin, Cat Dog, and all kinds of other Nicktoons had stumbled into a portal.

Ah, cool, Mega Crossover time-

{suddenly, Narutaki runs into the room}

Narutaki: Itís happening! The metaness! Random portals popping up! Itís all Decadeís fault! ONORE DIKEIDO!!!!

... Did you invite him Kazzy?

Kazuma: ... No. And never call me that again.

Okay then. {turns to Narutaki} Well, youíd be glad to know that Decade didnít cause this. This was made way before his time. So, if you would excuse yourself...

Narutaki: Very well... but one day, Decade will destroy this world and-

Yeah, thatís nice. Byeeeeeeee. {shoves Narutaki out of the room} Now, where were we? Ah yes, the fact that this fanfic has suddenly gone meta. And the Nicktoons are jerks to the Rugrats for some reason. Okay, itís because the Rugrats are more popular, but some of these guys are pretty nice guys, like Doug and Dog, and them suddenly acting like jerks means either Discord got to them or the author just derailed them. And since Friendship Is Magic didnít come out for another decade or so, the latter seems to be true.

Anyways, Tommy notices that Spike isnít dead anymore.

Everyone looked and gasped!

ďGasp! Someone I donít know is back from the dead! I should be surprised even though I hate these toddlersí guts and donít even know who this guy is!Ē

Just then, Spike said "Hello" and the Rugrats and other Nicktoons jumped. They understood him! "Spike? You can talk?" Lil asked. The mutt put his paw over his mouth and was shocked!

I like how thereís no mention of Eliza while this is happening. I mean, she does have that Dolittle power and all. In fact, sheís the reason why Spike could speak in Rugrats Go Wild.

Joka was, at the time, preparing for the invasion. He made special balls.

Heís got BALLS OF STEEL!

"These Pokeballs will do nicely. Or should I say, Nickballs? Bwa ha ha ha!"

... Okay, that was funny. But the narrator brags on and on about how Joka is going to capture them and how he has every kind of weapon to use when theyíre captured. Hey, hereís something: Have him do something instead of bragging about it. Stop with this Informed Attribute bull. Oh, and then the narrator just brings up that Red and Carface are helping Joka.

He knew that one of the Nicktoons were able to hear the heavenly tune of Nick's horn (just like Gabriel's horn).

Okay, we get it! Itís getting annoying that youíre reminding us this. Weíre not goldfish! And you donít need to remind us that this is just a rip-off of All Dogs 2, which ironically enough was ripped-off just last chapter! Also, I gotta ask, if he has these Nickballs, which work like Pokeballs, why does he need to use this horn? He could just capture them with the balls. So after the Nicktoons harass the Rugrats for a bit (Yes, even Catdog, even though they met before and are buddy buds) Joka invades. And he tells them his plans...

...

...

...

You are a complete... You know what, letís let Yuuto say it for us. Seriously, if you tell these guys your evil plan, they will find a way to thwart it. Ever wonder why the best villains are the ones who are subtle with their plans? Itís because they donít spill the beans until they think theyíve won. Oh, and this crystal ball pops up out of nowhere and only serves to show Joka that the Rugrats will be the ones to thwart his plan. So, then he sees the Rugrats, and then tells everyone that the only people that can save them are the Rugrats. Who are hearing this. Alright, can someone confiscate the Villain Ball from Jokaís hands? Heís been playing with it for too long. At least he has the smarts to actually make sure the Rugrats wonít be an obstacle.

Joka held out some Nickballs (just like Pokeballs).

We get it. You pointed that out before. Stop bashing it in our heads. So all the Rugrats save for Tommy are trapped in the Nickballs, and he and Spike run off.

Joka tried to capture Tommy and Spike, but they were too fast.

Youíre a dragon. Theyíre a baby and a dog. The fact that they can out run a dragon is worthy of the Guinness Book of World Records. So Joka puts the four Rugrats into some cells.

They looked at each other with the same expression. The expression of doom.

Didnít know you can express doom. How does one express doom? Anyways, Tommy and Spike rendezvousí with Itchy, David, and Sasha and they tell them the story.

David was one confused boy. All this was crazy! Dragons aren't real.

ďYeah, talking dogs and horns that can allow dogs into heaven I can believe, but dragons? No way!Ē

A Nicktoon rushed over to them. Pattie.

... Who? Wait... Peppermint Pattie? I donít think sheís a Nicktoon.

{Wataruís voice comes in via intercom}

Wataru: Actually, Psyga, the storyís referring to Patti Mayonnaise from Doug.

Ooooooh. That forgettable show that I always forget about. Right. So Patti reveals that the Rugrats are in... Guess where. Alcatraz Prison.

"Come on, you guys! We must save the missing Rugrats!" Spike declared. But, Sasha, David, and Itchy refused. Itchy said, "No! Not until we get our old friend. Charlie the German Shepard. He knows these parts better than we."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!? But... I thought... Spike was supposed to be... What the hell?!? This is just batshit crazy! Youíre telling me that Charlie, the actual Charlie, is in this fanfic even though Spike all but took over his role in both All Dogs and All Dogs 2? I wanna see where they go with this!

So they go to find him, but Joka ambushes them and tries to capture Tommy.

He grabbed a Nickball and shot out two red lasers at Tommy and the dog. Tommy was unlucky. He rolled off the edge and grabbed the log with his small hands just in time.

Shouldnít you be saying Tommy was lucky since he didnít get captured? Or are you rooting for Joka? You must be because you love to gush about how he has a plan to take away all the Nicktoons.

Charlie arrives and kicks his ass! Awesome!

Joka was madder than a swarm of hornets!

You already used that before. What? You ran out of bland metaphors to tell us that theyíre angry instead of showing us? He asks Carface what to do and he tells him to use Redís collars... For some reason... Donít the collars just give you a physical form? Or are you talking about the collars that become chokers?

He told the wolf that Spike knew what Red's red collars looked like. "I know, but Red painted them blue!" Joka looked at one of Red's magic collars. It was blue! And the white dots were golden. What a perfect diguise!

... No. That is the stupidest disguise. Itís like making Sonic The Hedgehog green, giving him orange shoes, and calling it original. Itís just a stupid paintjob. After a song, they decide to work on their plan. They ambush Tommy and the gang again and make Tommy Brainwashed and Crazy.

"I don't think you should do that!" Joka bellowed. "Why not?" "'Cause these collars belong to Red. He just painted them a different collar! Bwa ha!"

... WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING AWAY ALL YOUR PLANS? YOUíRE NOT A GOOD VILLAIN IF YOU TELL EVERYONE YOUR PLANS! THIS IS THE DUMBEST VILLAIN I HAVE EVER SEEN IN THESE LIVEBLOGS! SALF-TACHI WASNíT THIS DUMB!

So anyways, under the threat of his life, Tommy tries to get Nickís Horn. And Spike follows him, trying to convince him not to get the horn.

Spike told him not to give him the horn even when it could mean . . . his life

Dramatic pauses are... dramatic. Seriously, what was the point of that ellipsis point?

"Bring the horn to Joka at Alcatraz Prison in one hour or your friends won't be as lucky as you to survive! Ha, ha, ha!" [...]"The hour is over! They shouldn've been here a few minutes ago!"

Anyone else getting Dťjŗ vu? Yeah. This is just a rehash of a rehash of a not so good sequel. Itís stupid because weíve just read this shit like a few minutes ago! So anyways, Joka gets the horn and declares his victory. Oh, and he grows for some reason. Tommy tried to get the horn back, but Joka kicks his ass.

As he rolled and stopped on his right side, Joka roared with glee, "Nick's an adult network now!!!"

OBJECTION!

YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT RIDDING NICK OF ITS NICKTOONS WILL MAKE IT AN ADULT NETWORK? Little do you know of the other shows they have! All That? Legends Of The Hidden Temple? The Adventures Of Pete And Pete? Even without their toons, they canít be considered an adult network for they still have their other shows! Not to mention the lovely concept of licensing, where they can just syndicate other kids shows onto their channel. {slams on a desk} Admit it! {points his finger at Joka} Your villainous plan was flawed from the start!

Kazuma: Youíre getting into this a little too much...

Shut up! I am giving a "Reason You Suck" Speech to Joka here! Now, listen here you dragon, what kind of stupid plan is making Nickelodeon an adult network? The only good that will do is make its ratings plummet and nearly get it kicked off the air for not being for kids! Why not just opt for an adult block? No. You want to be stupid and make the entire network for adults, even though the lack of Nicktoons will not be enough. And itís not like your plans will work, considering that you blabbed about them constantly to the ears of those who can and will prevent them from being accomplished. Itís like admitting into the detectiveís face ďIím the killerĒ. Youíre just signing your planís death warrant. No self-respecting villain would have a plan that stupid. That evil chick from Chuck Austinís run of the X-Men, the one who wanted to take over the world through making Nightcrawler the Pope, had a better plan than yours. And that, Joka, is why youíre the dumbest villain I have ever livebloged. You will never be Zira!

Kazuma: ... Are you done?

{song ends} Yeah. I am. Moving on, Spike manages to defeat Joka by tooting his magic horn. That apparently beats him because playing the horn releases all the Nicktoons from Alcatraz. You know, for it being The Alcatraz and all, it doesnít really amount to jack shit when you have an idiot like Joka running it. And we never see him again, so we donít really know if heís beaten or just rage quit.

And then we end on some meta bullcrap that Iím not bothering to point out and that Spike doesnít give a crap for his best friend and decide to stay with the dog he made friends with for only a day.

And this story is still not over. Thereís about one more chapter left. One more.

Kazuma: Do you want to stop here?

Hell no! Thereís only a few stories left! Iíll manage!

TO BE CONTINUED

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