It's the last day of Christmas holidays (BOO!). Since my spirits can't be any more dampened by lesbian superhero antics (tm), I present to you Kämpfer: episode eight in its possible-glory.
Oddly enough, this episode begins with a Cold Opening that isn't just a summary of past events - rather, it actually begins the plot of the episode. Not-Sakaki and Male!Natsuru are standing on the school rooftop. Not-Sakaki asks Natsuru out on a date - DUNN DUNN DUN - then we cut to theme song. Simple, but it sets up the episode instead of just being backstory for people who missed the last episode.
We resume after the opening with Natsuru speculating that the "date" is actually an excuse to find out more about the mysterious White Kämpfer. Don't get your hopes up, Nats - she probably just wants to make out. She sets the, er, date for the date but it turns out that the purple-haired newspaper girl from waaay back in episode three (oh, dear lord, episode three! I was trying to Brain Bleach that!) is watching them and decides to report it to everyone. Oh, dear lord. This can't end well.
We cut to Natsuru's room, where Hara Kiri Tiger prods him about whether or not the date is a cover. For once, no mascot abuse! Your donations to PAMAF are making a difference! Instead, H.K. Tiger just flops over and makes a splatting noise. I lol'd.
We then make a cut to Not-Sakaki's house (I believe this is the first time we see it) where she is making a special bento for Natsuru. Electrocuted Wildcat wants to know what it's for, but Not-Sakaki won't tell. We then see her in the shower with a lot of Censor Steam before she gets dressed and heads out to where Natsuru is waiting - by the Fountain of Meeting, of course! - so they can begin their date. Natsuru, ever oblivious, still thinks this whole thing is a cover-up. Seriously, Natsuru? She obviously wants to get in your pants. Anyway, they go to an amusement park that really reminds me of the one in the second Keroro movie, where they visit an aquarium. After Natsuru learns the most important rule of impressing a female - buy her stuff! - the two of them walk together. Oh, did I mention Natsuru still thinks this isn't really a date!? *facepalm*
They then decide to sit and eat lunch so that Not-Sakaki can show off her bento-making-skillz. She feeds him weiners (you know, the ones cut up to look like octopi?). Then she forces him to put her arm around her and omfg Natsuru still doesn't realize this is REALLY A DATE!? Geez! Idiot Hero, much!?
The eyecatch this time is pure awesome: it's a human version of Seppuku Black Bunny! It looks a lot like Akane, but the differences are easy to point out. Like, you know, the giant bunny ears.
Back to the...action? Is it just me, or has absolutely nothing interesting happened so far? Digression. Okay, so we return to the two not-lovers as Not-Sakaki starts to tell Natsuru something that's actually relevant - she's starting to think that Kaede has some connection to the Moderators who turn people into Kämpfers and force them to fight; she also thinks that Kaede may have something to do with the new white bracelet Kämpfer. She also contemplates why they're being forced to fight - note that this hasn't been mentioned since, I dunno, EPISODE TWO. All the interesting stuff we could have been talking about was replaced by boobs and girls trying to screw other girls! ARRRGH. Also, to add insult to injury, Natsuru slept through this whole conversation.
He is awoken by Not-Sakaki kissing him (of course). They then decide to head home and — wait a second, is that an advertisement for Kämpfer on the train?! With a huge honkin' picture of Female!Natsuru on it!? Oh dear god, it's the Double Dragon movie all over again! When they get back to the fountain, Mikoto shows up out of nowhere and pounces on Natsuru, demanding an explanation for him going on a date with Not-Sakaki. Of course, Not-Sakaki says it really was a date, getting Natsuru beaten up. Way to go.
Back at home, Hara Kiri Tiger laughs at Natsuru's fail-itude, only to be tossed in the trash can. Nobody appreciates honesty anymore! Then Akane busts in and, oddly enough, doesn't beat Natsuru senseless - instead, she asks him what kind of girls he likes while H.K. Tiger and S.B. Bunny shrug at the conversation. This part is pretty funny: Natsuru searches in his heart for the answer, which is represented by thousands of little Kaede heads. Like Where's Waldo. Eventually he finds a single Akane head and says that he likes "people like her" out loud, causing her to orgasm transform into her Kämpfer form. This is actually the first time we've seen her Transformation Sequence, strangely enough. In her Kämpfer form she essentially says "go out with me or I'll shoot your brains out", so Nats accepts. Can't go wrong with that logic.
We end with a quick montage of all the characters preparing for future events as their mascots hang out beside em'.
So, that's episode 8! The best part of this episode? Natsuru actually stayed male the entire time, so there wasn't any Les Yay! The worst part of the episode was the fact that it was really boring. Ah well, you can't have everything. The next episode is apparently a Beach Episode, though. Sigh.
This is Pirka saying GODDAMIT NATSURU, IT WAS OBVIOUSLY A DATE!
