History VideoGame / Metron

Imagine ''VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria}}'' shot at your house with a DVD camera and you'll get Metron ([=МЕТРОН=]), a FullMotionVideo adventure game made in 2004 by a Russian 'garage game developer' Korban Laser Games, who proudly proclaimed on the cover that it was playable on "[[UsefulNotes/IBMPersonalComputer PC]], UsefulNotes/PlayStation2 and DVD players".

The game was made extremely cheaply, and so was never exported overseas or translated to any other language - a relatively common situation for lower-tier Russian game developers before the [=GFC=] + the rise of UsefulNotes/{{Steam}} killed off the disk retail they were relying on. Nevertheless, it has become a popular title for Russian Let's Players due to how infamous it is, and videos of it can be easily found on Website/YouTube.

* HeadsIWinTailsYouLose: Pick any bad ending, Metron kills Polina. Pick a good ending and Polina kills Metron... and [[spoiler: then is being brought by Moscow's militia [[note]]legacy name for Russian police force, which has been changed to conventional police several years after the game came out[[/note]] to the mental institution, while [[SequelHook Metron]] [[CloningBlues cloned]] himself and went on rampage in the same city.]]

The game was made extremely cheaply, and so was never exported overseas or translated to any other language - a relatively common situation for lower-tier Russian game developers before the [=GFC=] + the rise of UsefulNotes/{{Steam}} killed off the disk retail they were relying on. Nevertheless, it has become a popular SnarkBait title for Russian Let's Players, and videos of it can be easily found on Website/YouTube.

Imagine ''VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria}}'' shot at your house with a DVD camera and you'll get Metron, a FullMotionVideo adventure game made specifically for DVD players, made by a little-known 'garage game developer' named Korban Laser Games.

The location is Korenevo, Russia. Polina, the protagonist, finds herself investigating a series of murders committed by the evil Metron and trying to avoid becoming a victim herself.

Download the game [[http://rutracker.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1878752 here]] and fear the power of the bloody bunny plush.

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!!Trope examples:
* AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle

* BloodyHilarious
* TheButlerDidIt: Oh, of course Mityai.

* [[ChekhovsGun Chekhov's Tack]]
* CoversAlwaysLie: The official cover, ehrm, drastically redesigned the protagonists and antagonists in one bunch.
* HeadsIWinTailsYouLose: Pick any bad ending, Metron kills Polina. Pick a good ending and Polina kills Metron... and then is being brought by Moscow's militia to the mental institution, while [[SequelHook Metron]] [[CloningBlues cloned]] himself and went on rampage in the same city.

* LateArrivalSpoiler:Metron wears the same sweater and boots during the ''entire'' game, so the 'Just believe me' moment at school won't be the first to reveal Mityai's true identity.

* NoBudget: Obviously.
* NoExportForYou: This game wasn't released outside Russia.

* WriteWhatYouKnow: The game was filmed in Korenevo, the actors' home town. And yes, they wanted it to become famous.

Imagine {{Phantasmagoria}} shot at your house with a DVD camera and you'll get Metron, a full-motion video adventure game made specifically for DVD players, made by a little-known 'garage game developer' named Korban Laser Games.

* HeadsIWinTailsYouLose: Pick any bad ending, Metron kills Polina. Pick a good ending and Polina kills Metron... and then is being brought by Moscow's militia to the mental institution, while [[SequelHook Metron]] [[CloningBlues cloned]] [[IGotBetter himself]] and went on rampage in the same city.

!!"Okay, Sidorov, where the republic of Gonduras is?" [[spoiler: - "Wait, is Gonduras spelled with 'G'?"]]

[[TakeThat No, THIS is worse than]] [[Plan9FromOuterSpace Plan 9!]]

Imagine {{Phantasmagoria}} shot at your house with a scrappy DVD camera and with completely undeep plot and you'll get Metron, a full-motion video adventure game made specifically for DVD players [[spoiler:(naturally, a mind trojan horse for the consumers, since they like having one game on many platforms)]] and released on '''three''' [=DVDs=], made by little-known 'garage game developer' named Korban Laser Games, known for treating its' horrid BMovie + RussianHumor + {{Horror}} blender products as megagames. [[CaptainObvious With respective quality.]]

The basic plot premise is... Well. We wanted to hide the ''entire'' plot in spoilers, but not only that, this game has no translation to English and, after all, the plot itself is ridiculously [[IdiotPlot cliche]]! See for yourself.

'''Disc one.''' Korenevo, the usual Korban Laser Games's location of shooting. Polina, the main protagonist of the game, finds one random person being killed. She and her friend [[TotallyRadical Lyoha]] visit ''their'' yet another friend Petya and it suddenly turns out to be true that... Polina's mom was also killed. Then these three attend classes at [[IncrediblyLamePun school number 666]] and played a prank on the local Nerd, Mityai, by putting a tack on his chair [[spoiler:(as the result, it becomes bloody)]]. When Polina returns from school, she finds yet another random victim being killed in the toilet, as well as a woman and a cat right on the street.

'''Disc two.''' Polina goes out to a library [[spoiler:possibly, jumps right from the balcony]] to find info about Metron, where she finds out that 'The first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away.' Mityai introduces her to his newest invention, 'Metron-O-Metre', which shows the direction in which Metron is located, [[spoiler:but for some reason, though, it points on Mityai himself...]] After that, she visits her one more friend, Verka, who asks her to visit drug store and buy some medicals. Polina's away when suddenly... Verka becomes yet another victim. Of Metron's blurry sprite.

'''Disc three.''' Polina and her friends almost get cornered by Metron, so, the only survivors, Polina and Lyoha head to Moscow in order to tell local polizei to find out what happened in their village but Lyoha also gets killed. In a desperate attempt to survive, Polina heads back to the goddamned school #666, where she meets Mityai again... because he's actually Metron in disguise. After a short chase scene, Polina graps a bunny plushie, but Metron grabs it and smacks Polina with it; TO DEATH.... er, the first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away, so that's the way [[OrIsIt Metron got dead...]] and Polina became a permament guest in the mental institution.

Of course, due to its' overall trashiness and the fact Russia and Ukraine produced '''much''' better games for DVD players same year, it became quickly trashed away. Of course, who would buy a three-disc game, with each disc having an abysmal-quality video not even occupying 2/3 of DVD's storage? However, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoe9RO32h20 Big Brain's]] and, later enough, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dRDZf_uCXQ Maddyson's]] reviews brought its' popularity back, because SO trashy it was.

* BadBadBadActing: 98% of Metron's victims ''die with smirky smiles on their faces''. Including Polina.

* CameraAbuse: Amateur movies do not work that way.
** [[ZigZaggedTrope Some places, however, have a fully static camera for some reason.]]

* FridgeLogic: Hell, how the fuck you go outside WITHOUT using the front door but using a balcony instead, and it still shows Polina going outside '''normally'''?!
** Also, if the global map in the classroom was hanging on the wall with the help of sticky tape, then what the hell tacks are doing here?

** At least because while animals' blood is used in trash films, Metron uses ketchup.
*** EVERYWHERE WHERE POSSIBLE.
* NoExportForYou: This game wasn't even released outside Russia. Thankfully.

* ViewersAreMorons: Don't tell us there will be a person who'll be frightened by this... MOTION PICTURE as it was said on their currently dead website.
* WriteWhatYouKnow: The game was shot [[IncrediblyLamePun (literally)]] in Korenevo, the actors' home town. And yes, they WANTED it to become famous. Sadly, not today.

Imagine {{Phantasmagoria}} shot at your house with a scrappy DVD camera and with completely undeep plot and you'll get Metron, a full-motion video adventure game made specifically for DVD players [[spoiler:(naturally, a mind trojan horse for the consumers, since they like having one game on many platforms)]] and released on '''three''' [=DVDs=], made by little-known 'garage game developer' named Korban Laser Games, known for treating its' [[{{Understatement}} horrid]] BMovie + RussianHumor + {{Horror}} blender products as megagames. [[CaptainObvious With respective quality.]]

* PressXToDie ''and'' PressXToNotDie: You're being cornered by Metron. You'd better run. But wait, what would '''you''' do in this case: press the 'wrong' action button to see the bad ending and then warp to the same scene again or run away like many adequate people would? Can't think of it? Don't worry about it, after all there is time to think, and you've got [[{{Understatement}} plenty]] of it.

'''Disc one.''' Korenevo, the usual Korban Laser Games's location of shooting. Polina, the main protagonist of the game, finds one random person being killed. She and her friend [[TotallyRadical Lyoha]] visit ''their'' yet another friend [[strike:Korb]] Petya and it suddenly turns out to be true that... Polina's mom was also killed. Then these three attend classes at [[IncrediblyLamePun school number 666]] and played a prank on the local Nerd, Mityai, by putting a tack on his chair [[spoiler:(as the result, it becomes bloody)]]. When Polina returns from school, she finds yet another random victim being killed in the toilet, as well as a woman and a cat right on the street.

'''Disc two.''' Polina goes out to a library [[spoiler:possibly, jumps right from the balcony]] to find info about Metron, where she finds out that 'The first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away.' Mityai introduces her to his newest invention, 'Metron-O-Metre', which shows the direction in which [[strike:a nearby Metro 2033 fan]] Metron is located, [[spoiler:but for some reason, though, it points on Mityai himself...]] After that, she visits her one more friend, Verka, who asks her to visit drug store and buy some medicals. Polina's away when suddenly... Verka becomes yet another victim. Of Metron's blurry sprite.

'''Disc three.''' Polina and her friends almost get cornered by [[strike:Mityai]]Metron, so, the only survivors, Polina and Lyoha head to Moscow in order to tell local polizei to find out what happened in their village but Lyoha also gets killed. In a desperate attempt to survive, Polina heads back to the goddamned school #666, where she meets Mityai again... because he's actually Metron in disguise. After a short chase scene, [[strike:Polina graps a bunny plushie, but Metron grabs it and smacks Polina with it; TO DEATH.]] the first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away, so that's the way [[OrIsIt Metron got dead...]] and Polina became a permament guest in the mental institution.

* [[strike:[[BadBadActing Bad Bad]]]] [[BadBadActing No Acting]]: 98% of Metron's victims ''die with smirky smiles on their faces''. Including Polina.
* [[strike:[[BloodyHilarious Bloody]]]] [[BloodyHilarious Ketchup Hilarious]]

* LateArrivalSpoiler: [[strike:Mityai]]Metron wears the same sweater and boots during the ''entire'' game, so the 'Just believe me' moment at school won't be the first to reveal Mityai's true identity.
* PressXToDie ''and'' PressXToNotDie: You're being cornered by Metron. You'd better run. But wait, what would '''you''' do in this case: press the 'wrong' action button to see the bad ending and then warp to the same scene again or run away like many adequate people would? Can't think of it? Don't worry about it, after all there is time to think, [[IdiotProgramming and you've got]] [[{{Understatement}} plenty]] [[IdiotProgramming of it]].

* {{Narm}}: Comes on 400-wagon train and 57 aircraft ships. [[DudeNotFunny What's funny, every moment they wanted to be scary became laughable and every moment they wanted to be humorous became obviously boring.]]
** And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qddtDF813cc the bunny death]] takes it to BeyondTheImpossible measures.

* SpecialEffectFailure: Invoked everywhere. Hillariously enough, envoked even in the places where the special effect is ''not'' supposed to be.
** Metron's laser [[strike:pointer]] eye.
** KETCHUP!!!
** [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation ...alternate blood interpretation:]] MS Paint airbrush.
** Verka's death scene... behold the power of the terrible floating blurry Metron sprite!!!
** [[TheMatrix And his floating chair!]]
** Metron's father. Look at his FACE.
** At the same Metron's father scene... a car in the background in one frame. You think they could reshoot this moment? [[TheyJustDidntCare Probably not.]]
** Non-special effect example: The Hellish Treatise book which shows us that there are only two pages written in large font. The remaining are... '''dictionary!'''
** Desynced music at the chase moment at [=DVD3.=]

* [[SoBadItsGood So Bad It's]] [[strike:[[SoBadItsGood Good]]]] [[SoBadItsGood Ridiculous]]: A full-motion video game... made by a couple of schoolkids headed by a fat hobo. Not only the game itself is hillarious, but the fact '''it IS licensed'''...
** It was published by Media-Service 2000, 'our' version of Valusoft, if you are interested.

'''Disc three.''' Polina and her friends almost get cornered by [[strike:Mityai]]Metron, so, the only survivors, Polina and Lyoha head to Moscow in order to tell local polizei to find out what happened in their village but Lyoha also gets killed. In a desperate attempt to survive, Polina heads back to the goddamned school #666, where she meets Mityai again... because he's actually Metron in disguise. After a short chase scene, [[strike:Polina graps a bunny plushie, but Metron grabs it and smacks Polina with it; TO DEATH.]] the first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away, so that's the way [[OrIsIt Metron got dead...]] and Polina became a permament guest in [[strike:[[HotelMario one of seven Bowser's hotels]]]] the mental institution.

'''Disc three.''' Polina and her friends almost get cornered by [[strike:Mityai]]Metron, so, the only survivors, Polina and Lyoha head to Moscow in order to tell local polizei to find out what happened in their village but Lyoha also gets killed. In a desperate attempt to survive, Polina heads back to the goddamn school #666, where she meets Mityai again... because he's actually Metron in disguise. After a short chase scene, [[strike:Polina graps a bunny plushy, but Metrons grabs it and kills Polina. TO DEATH.]] the first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away, so that's the way [[OrIsIt Metron got dead...]] and Polina became a permament guest in [[strike:[[HotelMario one of seven Bowser's hotels]]]] the mental institution.

'''Disc two.''' Polina goes out to a library [[spoiler:possibly, jumps right from the balcony]] to find info about Metron, where she finds out that 'The first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away.' Mityai introduces her to his newest invention, 'Metron-O-Metre', which shows the direction in which [[strike:a nearby Metro 2033 fan]] Metron is located. For some reason, though, it points on Mityai himself... [[{{Whatever}} Oh well.]] After that, she visits her one more friend, Verka, who asks her to visit drug store and buy some medicals. Polina's away when suddenly... Verka becomes yet another victim. Yeah.

* PressXToDie ''and'' PressXNToNotDie: You're being cornered by Metron. You'd better run. But wait, what would '''you''' do in this case: press the 'wrong' action button to see the bad ending and then warp to the same scene again or run away like many adequate people would? Can't think of it? Don't worry about it, after all there is time to think, [[IdiotProgramming and you've got]] [[{{Understatement}} plenty]] [[IdiotProgramming of it]].

* PressXToDie ''and'' PressXNotToDie: You're being cornered by Metron. You'd better run. But wait, what would '''you''' do in this case: press the 'wrong' action button to see the bad ending and then warp to the same scene again or run away like many adequate people would? Can't think of it? Don't worry about it, after all there is time to think, [[IdiotProgramming and you've got]] [[Understatement plenty]] [[IdiotProgramming of it]].

Imagine {{Phantasmagoria}} shot at your house with a scrappy DVD camera and with completely undeep plot and you'll get Metron, a full-motion video adventure game made specifically for DVD players [[spoiler:(naturally, a mind trojan horse for the consumers, since they like having one game on many platforms)]] and released on '''three''' [=DVDs=], made by little-known 'garage game developer' named Korban Laser Games, known for treating its' [[{{Understatement}} horrid]] BMovie + RussianHumor + {{Horror}} blender products as '''MEGAGAMEZ'''. [[CaptainObvious With respective quality.]]

Disc one.

Korenevo, the usual Korban Laser Games's location of shooting. Polina, the main protagonist of the game, finds one random person being killed. She and her friend [[TotallyRadical Lyoha]] visit ''their'' friend [[strike:Korb]] Petya and it suddenly turns out to be true that... Polina's mom was also killed. Then these three attend classes at [[IncrediblyLamePun school number 666]] and played a prank on the local Nerd, Mityai, by putting a tack on his chair [[spoiler:(as the result, it becomes bloody)]]. When Polina returns from school, she finds yet another random victim being killed in the toilet, as well as a woman and a cat right on the street.

Disc two.

Polina goes out to a library [[spoiler:possibly, jumps right from the balcony]] to find info about Metron, where she finds out that 'The first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away.' Mityai introduces her to his newest invention, 'Metron-O-Metre', which shows the direction in which [[strike:a nearby Metro 2033 fan]] Metron is located. For some reason, though, it points on Mityai himself... [[{{Whatever}} Oh well.]] After that, she visits her one more friend, Verka, who asks her to visit drug store and buy some medicals. Polina's away when suddenly... Verka becomes yet another victim. Yeah.

Disc three.

Polina and her friends almost get cornered by [[strike:Mityai]]Metron, so, the only survivors, Polina and Lyoha head to Moscow in order to tell local polizei to find out what happened in their village but Lyoha also gets killed. In a desperate attempt to survive, Polina heads back to the goddamn school #666, where she meets Metron again... because he's actually [[spoiler:AngryVideoGameNerd]]Mityai in disguise. After a short chase scene, [[strike:Polina graps a bunny plushy, but Metrons grabs it and kills Polina. TO DEATH.]]the first blooddrop gives the life, the second blooddrop takes the life away, so that's the way [[OrIsIt Metron got dead...]] and Polina became a permament guest in [[strike:[[HotelMario one of seven Bowser's hotels]]]] the mental institution.

!!Okay, Sidorov, where is the republic of Gonduras? [[spoiler:Wait, is Gonduras spelled with 'G'?]]

* AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle: The easiest way to dispose of Metron.

* [[ChekhovsGun Chekhov's Tack]]: See AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle.

* TheManyDeathsOfYou: Or, rather, The Many Evil Wins!!1! Of Him. Strangely enough, not invoked till the third DVD.

* [[ViewersAreMorons Wievarz Argh Moronz]]: Don't tell us there will be a person who'll be frightened by this... MOTION PICTURE as it was said on their currently dead website.
* WriteWhatYouKnow: The game was shot [[spoiler:[[IncrediblyLamePun (literally)]]]] in Korenevo, the actors' home town. And yes, they WANTED it to become famous.