History UsefulNotes / Poland

* Finally, with the country's admission into the European Space Agency in late 2012, it can be assumed [[MemeticMutation Poland can into space]]. Though technically, it already could in [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miros%C5%82aw_Hermaszewski 1978]].

[[caption-width-right:328: And you thought ''you'' have bad neighbours?]]

->''"For centuries, Poland has been known specifically for two things: badass spicy sausages, and [[TheChewToy getting epically fucked over by every other European nation]] in every possible way."''\\
-- ''[[BadassOfTheWeek www.badassoftheweek.com]]''

->''"And now we're gonna play a trick on the Poles and put them between Russia and Germany."''\\
-- '''{{God}}''' ([[http://img.interia.pl/rozrywka/nimg/Niebo_1643125.jpg as seen here]])

The origin of the stereotype is probably history: the large wave of Polish immigration to the US came after the large wave of German immigration; Germans generally stereotyped the Poles as being a bit slow. Poles also tended to settle where Germans had shown up the generation prior: for instance, the 1850s-80s saw big German immigration to the Great Lakes region, while the 1870s-1920s (ish) saw big Polish immigration to the same area (sidenote: UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}} consequently has the world's highest concentration of ethnic Poles outside of Poland). The jokes probably spread from the more-settled Germans to the wider population. In the meantime, some ethnically German Americans continued to use the word "Polack" for "any stupid person"; a few even [[OrphanedEtymology forgot that it was originally a slur]] and have to be embarrassingly corrected by their Polish friends. Polack comes from Polish name for Pole, ''Polak'' and, according to Wiktionary, was considered neutrally through the late nineteenth century.

Where the Brits would make jokes about the stupid Irish, Americans used to make jokes about stupid Poles (Polacks, if you're being ''really'' offensive; [[JerkAss idiot]] journalist Giles Coren recently brought richly-deserved criticism upon himself for using it in an article in which he suggested that Polish expats had no business in Britain because of what their ancestors ''actually didn't'' do to his), but this seems to have died off sometime in TheSeventies, or transferred over to the Brits, since many migrants go to the UK nowadays.

The origin of the stereotype is probably history: the large wave of Polish immigration to the US came after the large wave of German immigration; Germans generally stereotyped the Poles as being a bit slow. Poles also tended to settle where Germans had shown up the generation prior: for instance, the 1850s-80s saw big German immigration to the Great Lakes region, while the 1870s-1920s (ish) saw big Polish immigration to the same area (sidenote: UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}} consequently has the world's highest concentration of ethnic Poles outside of Poland). The jokes probably spread from the more-settled Germans to the wider population. In the meantime, some ethnically German Americans continued to use the word "Polack" for "any stupid person"; a few even [[OrphanedEtymology forgot that it was originally a slur]] and have to be embarrassingly corrected by their Polish friends.

The origin of the stereotype is probably history: the large wave of Polish immigration to the US came after the large wave of German immigration; Germans generally stereotyped the Poles as being a bit slow. Poles also tended to settle where Germans had shown up the generation prior: for instance, the 1850s-80s saw big German immigration to the Great Lakes region, while the 1870s-1920s (ish) saw big Polish immigration to the same area (sidenote: [[TheWindyCity Chicago]] consequently has the world's highest concentration of ethnic Poles outside of Poland). The jokes probably spread from the more-settled Germans to the wider population. In the meantime, some ethnically German Americans continued to use the word "Polack" for "any stupid person"; a few even [[OrphanedEtymology forgot that it was originally a slur]] and have to be embarrassingly corrected by their Polish friends.

The vowels are read like in Spanish.

* ''Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz'' ([g ż e g o ż, b ż en cz y sz cz y ki e vi cz]) - a Polish name (the first name meaning: Gregory, last name means something similar to 'buzzing')

The other is making them pronounce the word ''pchła'' (''flea''). [[note]] The rest of Polish sadism towards foreigners consists of bureaucratic activities and as such does not belong here.[[/note]]

* ż (mira'''ge''', like 'dż', but longer; in transcription from Cyrillic this sound is rendered as "zh")
* sz ('''sh'''ampoo)

* c ('''c'''ent; schni'''tz'''el)
* ć ('''chi'''cken, often transliterated as 'ti')

* ''gżegżółka'' ([g że g ż ó ł ka]) - a folk name for a cuckoo, and a sadist's favourite spelling bee challenge

** Languages are a complex thing. Russian and German aren't seen as foreign conquerors' languages anymore and many Poles will be able to understand either or even reply in kind. A minority might be offended, kind of like the minority of Frenchmen who will refuse to speak to a foreigner who doesn't use French.
** To be more precise, most Poles can more or less understand the meaning of simple sentences from other Slavic languages (many words stem from common roots), but don't expect comprehension of complex ideas and two-way communication in Czech or Russian from people who never learned these languages. However, someone who speaks Czech in particular should have minimal problems learning ''spoken'' Polish in, say, the space of a year, and vice-versa. The writing system might take longer.

Home of the trade unionist with the impressive moustache (who became President) and formerly had identical twins as its President and Prime Minister. Also home of a very famous and popular former [[ThePope pontiff]].

*** [[ThePope Pope]] Karol "John Paul II" Wojtyła is a major factor that keeps Polish Catholicism alive, as he had one of the highest approval ratings of modern popes and was loved far and wide.

* [[ThePope Pope John Paul II]]

*** Although post-communist leftist parties had held power for ten years, they were democratically elected. They are no different that your average social democratic Western party, though. Law in force prohibits and penalizes the promotion of totalitarian ideologies, including communism and fascism. The former is a curious case, as the extent is limited to promoting practical implementations of the ideology along the lines of what happened in the 20th century. An actual Communist Party of Poland exists and is about as influential and popular as you can guess.

** Poland is one of the few countries outside France where NapoleonBonaparte is adored, due to his [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duchy_of_Warsaw restoration of the Polish state]. Partial restoration, that is.

* Finally, with the country's admission into the European Space Agency in late 2012, it can be assumed [[MemeticMutation Poland can into space]]. Though technically, it already could in [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miros%C5%82aw_Hermaszewski 1978].

** It's not part of Russia. Even though at least two Polish actors are members of the {{Lzherusskie}} Club.

*** Although post-communist leftist parties had held power for ten years, they were democratically elected. They are no different that your average social democratic Western party, though. Advocating true communism (or any totalitarian government) is, in fact, forbidden by law.
** TheTeutonicKnights are bad. RonaldReagan is good. In fact, in contrast to like all the rest of Europe, Poles consequently tend to favour hawkish American politicians.
** Similarly, Poland is like the only country outside France where NapoleonBonaparte is adored.
** Locals are quite insistent that Poland is [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial not in Eastern Europe, but Central.]]
** Having said all that -- the history of Poland in the eyes of the Western world tends to be stereotyped in these two ways: either "ButtMonkey of Europe" or "[[IronWoobie plucky little country]]". We hope the history lecture above can rectify this, even if it still focuses on the worse parts.
* As it's not part of Russia, people usually don't speak Russian as a first language or have Russian names. Use Russian in Poland and you might actually offend people.
** Likewise German and Czech, though they're less likely to cause outright offense.
** On the other hand, most Poles will at least ''understand'' one if not all of the above, but won't admit to it.
** To be more precise, most Poles can more or less understand the meaning of the simple sentences (many words stem from the common Slavic roots) but don't expect comprehension of complex ideas and two-way communication in Czech or Russian from people who never learned these languages. However, someone who speaks Czech in particular should have minimal problems learning ''spoken'' Polish in, say, the space of a year, and vice-versa. The writing system might take longer.

* Poland is the most religious country in Europe, even more so than (fellow Catholic countries) Ireland and Italy.
** Although recent polls have shown that more and more people are simply getting by without thinking about religion at all. While most admit they're Catholic, they do it out of force of habit, or because they have been brought up that way. Fewer and fewer people are attending masses. There is a growing anti-clerical movement which got 10% of the vote during the 2011 parliamentary elections, echoing that trend.
*** But with Poland producing unquestionably the most beloved [[ThePope pope]] of modern times, it's highly unlikely Catholicism will go away completely in Poland any time soon.
** Related to this, Polish politics fall significantly to the right of most all countries in the EU. Its two largest political parties are the Civic Platform (PO), which is more or less neoliberal, pro-European, and certainly not leftist; and Law and Justice ([=PiS=]), which is national-conservative, deeply rooted in Catholicism, and somewhat Eurosceptic. Its leftist parties haven't been contenders since the early 2000s, although the aforementioned anticlericalist movement has a strong social-democratic twist to it. Interestingly, when you look at a map of Poland according to the strength of the two political parties (here's the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wybory_prezydenckie_2010_I_tura_BK.png map for the 2010 Presidential election]]; PO in orange, [=PiS=] in blue) you find that PO's support almost perfectly matches the once-Prussian part, while the rest (formerly Russian and Austrian) are strongholds of [=PiS=]; the main exception is Warsaw, which, while formerly in the Russian part, is the capital and largest city and consequently has a more cosmopolitan, forward-looking culture.
* Poland also has a long, close relationship with Hungary dating back to the Middle Ages. Today, both nations celebrate a Polish-Hungarian Friendship Day.
* Finally, with the country's admission into European Space Agency in late 2012, it can be assumed [[MemeticMutation Poland can into space]].

* RomanPolanski

Poland. The picked-on kid with glasses of the European school playground, but it hasn't always been.

* BadassMustache -- Website/{{Cracked}}.com went as far as to claim Poland's fortune is dependent on the quality of her leader's facial hair. (In that case, Poland should be OK for a while--Bronisław Komorowski, the current (figurehead) president, has a respectable mustache.

[[/index]]

[[/index]]

* Main/PolishEducationalSystem

After the war, the country was taken over by the RedsWithRockets, who kicked millions of Poles out of their ancestral homes, depositing them in former Eastern Germany, where they in turn kicked millions of Germans out of ''their'' ancestral homes, thus accounting for the country's suspiciously straight borders (the western border follows the line of the Oder and Neisse rivers) and the fact that Warsaw, originally chosen as the capital for its central location, is no longer especially central. [[JosephStalin Stalin]] was not a nice guy. Poland suffered long and hard under [[CommieLand deeply incompetent Communist rule]], and eventually Polish people were instrumental in [[TheGreatPoliticsMessUp its downfall]]. [[note]]The Communist rule was contested several times, until finally, almost every opposition group coalesced under the banner of Solidarity - an independent, spontaneously formed ''labour union''. This is especially notable, as it means Communism became [[DeaderThanDisco utterly discredited]] -- the system that claimed to further the interests of the working class was, essentially, defeated by what has been described as "the last workers' revolution in Europe".[[/note]]

So during WW1, many Poles, including future leaders such as [[BadassMoustache Pilsudski]] and Sikorski, joined Austro-Hungarian forces (though there was a Russian-loyal faction, led by a Nationalist leader Roman Dmowski[[note]]the Nationalists adhered to a sort of political darwinism, believing that stronger cultures inevitably take over the weaker ones. In this case they expected that Polish culture and Poles, given time, will ultimately take over Russia, while risking the same from well-organised Germans[[/note]]) and helped the Central Powers to establish a puppet Polish Kingdom in former Russian territory, as the lesser of two evils. If sent to the western front, they usually deserted to join the [[LegionOfLostSouls French Foreign Legion]]. After the war, Piłsudski and his people founded a new, independent Poland which miraculously managed to defeat the Soviets in the PolishSovietWar against terrible, terrible odds. This defeat convinced the Soviets that they weren't in any shape to spread their revolution, which kept them bottled up for about thirty years.

Immediately after the collapse of the Russian Empire resulted in the renewed independence of most of the former Commonwealth, Poland laid claim to the Lithuanian city of Vilnius,[[note]]''both'' home to many Poles (among them Piłsudski's himself) '''and''' the long-standing Lithuanian capital[[/note]] leading to a war between the former allies. The Ukrainians who had invited the Poles in to rescue them from the Reds found that Warsaw, ultimately, had none of their best interests at heart (Piłsudski personally was very ashamed by this). The new Poland's German minority also suffered. Poland ended up suffered from a sluggish economy, many and powerful enemies, and deep internal tensions between Poles, Lithuanians, Belarusians, Ukrainians, Germans, and Jews, which became even more severe after a military coup and the establishment of the [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast "Government of Moral Sanitation"]].

Hard as it might have been to imagine, [[WorldWarII in 1939]], things got even worse.

DuringTheWar, Poland suffered possibly the most brutal occupation in the world. The Holocaust was carried out there, and it was the official intention of the Nazis to plunder Poland and starve it to death. Contrary to popular wisdom, the Poles [[DavidVersusGoliath fought brilliantly against overwhelming odds]], [[YouShallNotPass never surrendered]], and even when [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder stabbed in the back]] by the Commies, [[IShallReturn escaped to fight another day]]. The cavalry charging tanks was a myth, by the way; the incident that inspired this story involved a Polish cavalry division (actually mounted infantry, like most cavalry of the time, though with traditions and training) which routed a German infantry division but was counter-attacked by armoured cars. Additionally, while some Polish cavalry units ''did'' deliberately engage German armor, they did so dismounted while wielding [[BigFreakingGun anti-tank rifles]].

->''"Poland is a major exporter of great Americans, great Israelis, and great Russians."''\\
-- '''Anonymous'''

The Russian Tsars really didn't like Poles, partly due to the fact that Russia had been virtually prostrate before Polish economic and military power in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, and so, after they were finally victorious, the Russians went out of their way to punish the Poles under their rule. Not surprising, then, that the Poles tried, several times, to regain their independence (not counting the rioting during the Revolution of 1905). The first big time, the November Uprising, they actually had something of a chance, as the Russian part of Poland was technically autonomous and in personal union with Russia (known as Congress Poland), and as such had a halfway decent military. Unfortunately, the Uprising was botched from the beginning. Not surprisingly, the Russians took further steps to eliminate the Polish threat, which meant that the second big uprising, the January Uprising, was restricted to guerilla warfare and ended in tragedy, and [[NiceJobBreakingItHero the abolition of Polish autonomy]], with many Poles being [[ReassignedToAntarctica sent to Siberia]]. [[hottip:*:Interestingly enough, many of these Poles became great explorers of Siberia -- as commemorated by Chersky Range, though it actually wasn't discovered by Jan Czerski himself.]]

So during WW1, many Poles, including future leaders such as [[BadassMoustache Pilsudski]] and Sikorski, joined Austro-Hungarian forces (though there was a Russian-loyal faction, led by a Nationalist leader Roman Dmowski[[hottip:*:the Nationalists adhered to a sort of political darwinism, believing that stronger cultures inevitably take over the weaker ones. In this case they expected that Polish culture and Poles, given time, will ultimately take over Russia, while risking the same from well-organised Germans]]) and helped the Central Powers to establish a puppet Polish Kingdom in former Russian territory, as the lesser of two evils. If sent to the western front, they usually deserted to join the [[LegionOfLostSouls French Foreign Legion]]. After the war, Piłsudski and his people founded a new, independent Poland which miraculously managed to defeat the Soviets in the PolishSovietWar against terrible, terrible odds. This defeat convinced the Soviets that they weren't in any shape to spread their revolution, which kept them bottled up for about thirty years.

Immediately after the collapse of the Russian Empire resulted in the renewed independence of most of the former Commonwealth, Poland laid claim to the Lithuanian city of Vilnius,[[hottip:*:''both'' home to many Poles (among them Piłsudski's himself) '''and''' the long-standing Lithuanian capital]] leading to a war between the former allies. The Ukrainians who had invited the Poles in to rescue them from the Reds found that Warsaw, ultimately, had none of their best interests at heart (Piłsudski personally was very ashamed by this). The new Poland's German minority also suffered. Poland ended up suffered from a sluggish economy, many and powerful enemies, and deep internal tensions between Poles, Lithuanians, Belarusians, Ukrainians, Germans, and Jews, which became even more severe after a military coup and the establishment of the [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast "Government of Moral Sanitation"]].

Polish is a West Slavic language, a group which also includes Czech and Slovak and a number of minority languages. [[hottip:*: Sorbian, Silesian (disputed) and Kashubian, not counting the extinct.]] It is the most spoken member of the group and the second-most spoken Slavic language, with 40 million native speakers (38 million in Poland itself) and over a million second language speakers (no exact figure exists).

The other is making them pronounce the word ''pchła'' (''flea''). [[hottip:*: The rest of Polish sadism towards foreigners consists of bureaucratic activities and as such does not belong here.]]

* ''wycierająco'' - impossible to translate, something like: 'wipingly' [[hottip:*:As opposed to other examples, it's here to show how grammar works. Don't expect anyone to describe anything as "wipingly".]]

* Kazimierz Pułaski - the creator of USA's cavalry, a general and an American national hero; commemorated since 1929 with his own Memorial Day (11th Oct.), usually treated as a day of Polish-American pride (and consequently a rather Big Deal in areas with large Polish-American populations like UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}}, Greater UsefulNotes/{{Detroit}}, and Wisconsin). Also, owner of a bombastic name by American standards: ''Kazimierz Michał Władysław Wiktor Pułaski herbu Ślepowron''[[hottip:*:''herb'' refers to the family coat of arms]].

[[AC:the Polish flag]]

[[AC:...yes, it's white on top. Don't confuse it with UsefulNotes/{{Indonesia}}'s or UsefulNotes/{{Monaco}}'s, please]]
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/125px-Flag_of_Poland_svg.png

[[AC:the polish flag]]

[[AC:...yes, it's white on top.]]

* Kazimierz Pułaski - the creator of USA's cavalry, a general and an American national hero; commemorated since 1929 with his own Memorial Day (11th Oct.). Also, owner of a bombastic name by American standards: ''Kazimierz Michał Władysław Wiktor Pułaski herbu Ślepowron''[[hottip:*:''herb'' refers to the family coat of arms]].

* BadassMustache -- Website/{{Cracked}}.com went as far as to claim Poland's fortune is dependent on the quality of her leader's facial hair.

Post-1989, Poland joined {{NATO}} and the EuropeanUnion. The latter led to a large movement of Poles to the UK and caused a Polish plumber scare in France. Poland, along with Ukraine, hosted Euro football championships in 2012. The games' overwhelmingly positive reception came off as a shock to many Poles, who by then were used to thinking of their country as one big international humiliation.

The [=XVIth=] and [=XVIIth=] Centuries are known as, respectively, the Golden Age and the Silver Age of Polish history. Above all, this period is remembered for "Golden Liberty", when [[ElectiveMonarchy kings were elected]] and the franchise included 10% of the population, by far the most inclusive franchise in Europe until the end of the eighteenth century. The King had to share power with the Sejm, or the assembly (not to be confused with Senate, which was a separate upper House), which was itself controlled by the great noble houses (called magnates). The Commonwealth was also known for its religious tolerance (letting, for instance, Jews live more or less in peace when most countries reveled in senseless persecution), at a time when religious wars were consuming the rest of Europe. At its height, the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was the largest country by land area in Europe. The Commonwealth in this period is also known for fielding the completely [[{{Badass}} awesome]] [[http://whiskeywolf.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/husaria4zpar7.jpg winged]] [[http://www.badassoftheweek.com/hussars.html hussars]].

Poles in Austria generally enjoyed the right to speak their language and quite a bit of self-rule, and were fairly supportive of the Habsburgs (even today, Emperor Franz Josef is remembered fondly in southern Poland, while praising other rulers of the "three black eagles" would make Poles twitch); this was also partly due to the fact that the Catholic Habsburgs much preferred the Catholic Poles to the Orthodox Ukrainians who also lived in Austria's chunk of Poland. Poles in Prussia were, at first, well-treated (Frederick the Great required the heir to the throne to be fluent in Polish, although this was never really implemented). After the NapoleonicWars, borders were shuffled and the smaller number of Poles left in Prussia were often in ethnically-mixed areas such as Upper Silesia and found their circumstances changed drastically for the worse, especially after the abolition of their autonomy in 1848. Political hardship (like Bismarck's efforts at Germanification, mainly by settler colonialism), rather than breaking the Prussian Poles, substantially strengthened their national identity and spirit, but economic hardship compelled many German Poles to move to the thriving Rhineland (where they were a much smaller minority) or to the Americas.

Poland lost a fifth of its population in the war- ''seven million'' people in all, mostly civilians. Out of a pre-war Jewish population of 3.3 million, only 300,000 survived (Poland's Jewish population were Polish citizens; Israel did not exist until after the war). Most of whom were then expelled by the Communists.

After the war, the country was taken over by the RedsWithRockets, who kicked millions of Poles out of their ancestral homes, depositing them in former Eastern Germany, where they in turn kicked millions of Germans out of ''their'' ancestral homes, thus accounting for the country's suspiciously straight borders (the western border follows the line of the Oder and Neisse rivers) and the fact that Warsaw, originally chosen as the capital for its central location, is no longer especially central. [[JosephStalin Stalin]] was not a nice guy. Poland suffered long and hard under [[CommieLand deeply incompetent Communist rule]], and eventually Polish people were instrumental in [[TheGreatPoliticsMessUp its downfall]].

!!Polish language

Polish is a West Slavic language, a group which also includes Czech and Slovak and a number of minority languages. [[hottip:*: Sorbian, Silesian and Kashubian, not counting the extinct.]] It is the most spoken member of the group and the second-most spoken Slavic language, with 40 million native speakers (38 million in Poland itself) and over a million second language speakers (no exact figure exists).

* ż (mira'''ge''', like 'dż', but longer; also, it's transcribed from Cyrillic as "zh")

* ''bezwzględny'' (notice 5 consonants in a row) - ruthless (if describing a person) or absolute
* ''Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz'' - [g ż e g o ż, b ż en cz y sz cz y ki e vi cz] a Polish name (the first name meaning: Gregory, last name means something similar to 'buzzing')

** Poles' consumption of alcohol is rather unremarkable, when compared in quantity to other European nations. Be wary, though, if you've made Polish friends. They may want to test your strength, [[DrinkingContest If You Know What I Mean]]. The reason for that reputation might be that unlike Britons and their casual pub culture, Poles prefer to drink in binges, when an occasion (e.g. [[ButForMeItWasTuesday Tuesday]]) arises.

* Lech Wałęsa