History Tropers / TobiasDrake

Hi, I'm Tobias Drake. I'm intelligent, but uneducated. I dropped out of high school when I was 17, but my G.E.D. placed me in the top 2% of graduating students. The United States Army taught me how to be a man, and I've been in the working world for most of my adult life.

You may hear me talk about my family from time to time. I live with a paranoid schizophrenic. It would be unfair to say that I take care of her; the truth is that we take care of each other. Living with her has added new realms of adventure to my life and helped me find new perspectives on the world I never dreamed of. While the nature and extent of our relationship is complicated and subject to change at a moment's notice, she is my ''family'' above all else, and I love her.

<<|TheContributors|>>

Crap, I guess I should put something here. I'm Tobias Drake, I'm 24, a bard, and an all-around student of life. I follow video games, movies, film, television, anime, anything with a story to it, basically. My philosophy is that the story matters more than the container it's wrapped in, and I firmly believe that the plot exists to service the characters, as opposed to the more typical "characters exist to service the plot" a depressing number of authors employ.

I do tend more towards video games than other mediums; I started gaming when I was 3 years old on the Nintendo Entertainment System, and I've never let it go. As I got older, I started to care more about the prospect of interactive storytelling that only such a medium could provide, and now I get really excited when I see artsy games like HeavyRain or SilentHill come out. If I'd gone to college, I'd probably be an art major, but as it stands, my goals are more down to earth; I just like to experience things.

I've worked very hard to get to where I am today, and hold myself to very high standards. I firmly believe that if you're going to have dreams, you should dream big. Don't let things like plausibility get in the way of your goals.

* I plan to rule the world some day.
* I plan to live forever. So far, so good!
* I plan to [[AGodAmI become a god]].

[[GoldenBoy Life is study!]]

[[folder: Six Evil Exes]]
I have six [[ScottPilgrim Evil Exes]] that I've talked about quite a bit on the forums. I promised a Troper I'd make a list of them so they'd have an easy reference, so here it is.

1. Crazy Wiccan Girl. I don't talk about this one much because there isn't a lot to say. We met on an internet dating service. She seemed normal enough for the first month or so, then started telling me about her coven. As evil goes, she's actually the most tame of the Evil Exes, in that the only thing really detestable about her was the crazy. Well, that and she was polyamorous which I strongly dislike (you'll come to understand why soon), but mostly the crazy. She swore she could make the moon change phases on a whim.

2. The {{GIRL}}. This one was ugly. We met online and were dating for about six months or so before I found out that the girl I was with was actually a guy. He'd stolen photos of a girl off the internet and claimed them as himself. I would have broken it off right then and there when I found out, but he had also been engaging in emotional manipulation for the past few months, playing up the "I love you so much and everything about you is love and without your love I would wither and die and I would kill myself if I ever lost you because I need your love to live!" card that made it harder to separate myself from. Finally, I wound up doing it cold and harsh, because I just needed to get away from this.

3. Navy Guy. Yes, you read that right. This was a deliberate relationship I got into with a guy. During my late teenage years I was experimental and decided I was willing to try being with a man. He was a pretty good guy, I want to note that. As Evil Exes go, this one actually might have worked out if not for a couple of things. The most insurmountable being my own inability to be attracted to a man, and that's what eventually broke it off; no matter how hard I tried, I just could not do it. The other part, and this is the only part that qualifies him as an "Evil" Ex instead of a regular Ex is the World of Warcraft addiction. He was a great guy when he was away from the computer, but once he sat down to the game he was dead to the world, and he sat down to it pretty much every time he got home. We lived together for two months; between his issues and mine, we only were really with each other a few times during that.

4. The Heavy Drinker. She drank copious amounts of alcohol every night to dull the pain from something she never actually was willing to tell me. Which is understandable because we were only together for two weeks. She went through men like she went through alcohol; it wasn't a deliberate "use them and lose them" thing, no. This was more sinister/pathetic; she was looking for the perfect storybook romance. A love like the kind in faerie tales, where the handsome prince sweeps her off her feet, rides off into the sunset, and they live a perfect HappilyEverAfter. The moment the guy she was with showed any sign of not being that (typically the first fight), she dropped him like a bag of hammers and never looked back. Two other guys warned me off her but I didn't listen. I warned one other guy off her but he didn't listen either.

5. The Codependant. This one also wasn't too bad. Her only serious problem is a complete absence of self-esteem. Every moment with her was filled with "You'll leave me eventually." "I'm glad you're here for what time I have you, but I know you'll tire of me." "Thanks for being here today, I was worried you'd left me already." Ladies AND gents since both need to understand this: that gets old pretty damn fast.

6. The Big One. In my League of Evil Exes, she would be the final boss. To this day I still look back and wonder if there might have been a way to actually make this work out, but there wasn't. She was just too screwed up. In the time I was with her, she started by kicking a blade into my face and then snowballed from there. She was passive-aggressively suicidal, she cut herself, and she was a pathological liar. Clinically. This was a medically diagnosed illness.

Every day I was with her she had a new story to tell about how her sensei in a secret dojo downtown was teaching her to kill people with a ringblade and had engaged the dojo in a game of martial arts hide and seek around the city. Or how her gay boss at work who she used to sleep with (Yes, I noticed the contradiction too) killed himself but left her a secretly encoded message containing clues to finding Cthulhu, but the police wouldn't let her have it. Or about the magic being that lives in her head that only she and her best friend can see.

She also read tarot and she was actually very good at it, which just added to the confusion. It was very difficult to tell with her what was real and what was fake, though I later came to suspect that nothing she ever told me was real, which simplified it greatly. She lied about her age, she lied about her family, she lied about everything.

I was willing to put up with that. The lies, the attempt at setting me on fire, melting a hole in my carpet, blowing out a tire on my car, I put up with a lot from her. But the thing I finally couldn't handle was the polygamy. She slept with her best friend all the time. She wanted to sleep with MY best friend. I don't even know who else she slept with, except me (she was very cold and unpassionate towards me, and I often wondered what, exactly, made her my girlfriend and not just a girl who ate my food and used my computer). As she turned further and further away from me and more and more towards my best friend, I finally got fed up. I would like to say that I dumped her, but I didn't even get that privilege; she broke up with me, saying I was getting too jealous.

So yeah. That was the big one. Anyway, that's my list like I promised I'd make.
[[/folder]]

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How could I have forgotten you??!! Either way, [[AC:All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time.]] This troper has the [[{{@/blamspam} CATS]] seal of approval.

Crap, I guess I should put something here. I'm Tobias Drake, I'm 23, a bard, and an all-around student of life. I follow video games, movies, film, television, anime, anything with a story to it, basically. My philosophy is that the story matters more than the container it's wrapped in, and I firmly believe that the plot exists to service the characters, as opposed to the more typical "characters exist to service the plot" a depressing number of authors employ.

Wow, why so few signatures? @/{{Mst3kluv}}