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->'''Jason''': You got any idea what we're dealing with?\\
'''Salim''': They're vampires.\\
'''Jason''': Not possible.\\
'''Salim''': My father once told me if something looks like shit and smells like shit, you don't have to taste it to know that it's shit. Believe me, they're vampires.
-->-- ''VideoGame/HouseOfAshes''
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->''"We people of the mountains believe in the castle there are vampires. Dracula and his wives - they take the form of wolves and bats. They leave their coffins at night and they feed on the blood of the living."''
-->--'''Innkeeper''', ''Film/Dracula1931''
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->''"She lives beyond the grace of God, a wanderer in the outer darkness. She is vampyr, nosferatu. These creatures do not die like the bee after the first sting, but instead grow strong and become immortal once infected by another nosferatu. So, my friends, we fight not one beast but legions that go on age after age after age, feeding on the blood of the living."''
-->--'''Abraham van Helsing''', ''Film/BramStokersDracula''
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->'''Edgar Frog''': You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?\\
'''Sam Emerson''': Yeah, all day.\\
'''Alan Frog''': Does the sunlight freak him out?\\
'''Sam''': Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.\\
'''Edgar''': Bad breath, long fingernails?\\
'''Sam''': Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.\\
'''Alan''': He's a vampire all right.
-->--''Film/TheLostBoys''

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->''"OK, Vampire Anatomy 101, crosses and holy water don't do dick so forget what you've seen in the movies. You use a wooden stake, silver or sunlight to kill them."''
-->--'''Blade''', ''Film/Blade1998''
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->'''Integra:''' I need you idiots to send a helicopter after Alucard and retrieve him.\\
'''Penwood:''' Can't he fly with his vampire powers?\\
'''Integra:''' What? N-no he can't fly with his vampire powers!
-->-- ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''
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->''"Gift? Ha! [[TheHedonist Vorador]] thought my curse a blessing - that we were Gods, that mortals offered their blood as sacrifice so that we could enjoy our supernatural powers. And somewhere, deep inside my new self, I know he was right. That mortal dreams were prayers - prayers to us, begging us for power."''
-->-- '''Kain''', ''VideoGame/BloodOmenLegacyOfKain''

->''"[[StrongerWithAge The gift]] continued to evolve. Over time, we became less human and more... Divine. Kain would enter the state of change, and emerge with a new gift. Some years after the master, our evolution would follow. Until I had the honor of [[WingedHumanoid surpassing]] my lord."''
-->-- '''Raziel''', ''VideoGame/LegacyOfKainSoulReaver''

->''"But each of us is so much more than we once were. Gazing out across the planes of possibility, do you not feel, with all of your soul, how we have become [[AGodAmI like Gods?]] And as such, are we not indivisible? As long as a single one of us stands, we are legion. And that is why, as I sacrifice my children to the void, I can do so with a clear conscience."''
-->-- '''Kain''', ''Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver''
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Don't pothole in quotes.


->Not supernatural, no. Superhuman! Hypnotic, magnetic! [[MasterOfIllusion Creature of illusion]], in no way a magician but in every way a great [[TheTrickster trickster]]! Not a bat but ''[[StealthExpert silent]]'' [[StealthExpert as a bat]]! Not a wolf, but ''[[SuperSpeed swift]]'' [[SuperSpeed as a wolf]]! Not a flea but [[HorrorHunger a monster with a flea's appetite for blood]] - on a scale unprecedented! That's my idea of the vampire, Dragosani. Fifty miles to a creature like that? A healthy evening's walk! He would be able to compel his human shell to [[SuperStrength excesses of effort undreamed of]]...

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->Not supernatural, no. Superhuman! Hypnotic, magnetic! [[MasterOfIllusion Creature of illusion]], illusion, in no way a magician but in every way a great [[TheTrickster trickster]]! Not a bat but ''[[StealthExpert silent]]'' [[StealthExpert as a bat]]! bat! Not a wolf, but ''[[SuperSpeed swift]]'' [[SuperSpeed as a wolf]]! Not a flea but [[HorrorHunger a monster with a flea's appetite for blood]] - on a scale unprecedented! That's my idea of the vampire, Dragosani. Fifty miles to a creature like that? A healthy evening's walk! He would be able to compel his human shell to [[SuperStrength excesses of effort undreamed of]]...
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-->--'''Mary, ''[[WesternAnimation/JohnnyTest, Fangs a Lot Johnny]]''


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-->--'''Mary, ''[[WesternAnimation/JohnnyTest, -->--''Mary, ''WesternAnimation/JohnnyTest, Fangs a Lot Johnny]]''

Johnny''

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->'''Johnny''': Wait, vampires aren't supposed to be allowed in the sun!
->'''Mary''': Clue up, Johnny. Hip teen vampires glitter in the sun now
-->--'''Mary, ''[[WesternAnimation/JohnnyTest, Fangs a Lot Johnny]]''

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-->-- '''Alisa''', ''[[Literature/NightWatch The Day Watch]]''

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-->-- '''Alisa''', ''[[Literature/NightWatch ''[[Literature/NightWatchSeries The Day Watch]]''
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-> ''So what, mythically speaking, makes something a vampire? Well, it's less a rigid definition and more like a grab bag of traits you can stick together into an appropriately intimidating creature of the night.''
-->--'''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions,''' ''Classics Summarized: Literature/{{Dracula}}''
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-->--'''[[PsychoForHire Dannik Jerriko]],''' [[Literature/TalesFromTheMosEisleyCantina Soup's On: The Pipe Smoker's Tale]]''

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-->--'''[[PsychoForHire Dannik Jerriko]],''' [[Literature/TalesFromTheMosEisleyCantina ''[[Literature/TalesFromTheMosEisleyCantina Soup's On: The Pipe Smoker's Tale]]''
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->This is what I live for, what I fish for, what I hunt. The scent of soup, then the soup itself, running hot and fast and sweet in the confines of the veins, the vessels, the brain. In the confines of the flesh.
->It lends us to legend. [[ShroudedInMyth It makes of us myth]]. [[TheDreaded It shapes of us demons of dreams]]: Don't misbehave or an Anzat will catch you and suck all your blood away.
->[[BrainFood But it is not blood at all]].
-->--'''[[PsychoForHire Dannik Jerriko]],''' [[Literature/TalesFromTheMosEisleyCantina Soup's On: The Pipe Smoker's Tale]]''
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->'''Johnathan''': What in the- I thought you were a vampire!
->'''Dio''': I am! ''[[KickTheDog (freezes Johnthan's dog and shoots it with]] [[EyeBeams eye lasers)]]'' This is ''totally'' vampire shit, bro.
-->--''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc1nZ5H2aMM Jojo's Bizzare Adventure: Phantom Blood in 5 1/2 Minutes]]''
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->'''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]:''' Wait a minute...was that [[KillItWithWater holy water]]?\\
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Nope.\\
'''Linkara:''' Then how the hell did it [[HolyBurnsEvil burn (Rayne)]]?\\
'''NC:''' Oh-ho-ho-ho, Linkara. This is the Creator/StephenieMeyer age of vampires. You can make up anything! If you wanna say water hurts them even though it's not blessed, it's okay now!\\
'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]]:''' Yeah, if you wanna say they in no way can fly, turn into bats or do most of the cool things vampires can do, that's okay now, too!\\
'''Linkara:''' Oh, I see. And if people travel for miles to [[ComeToGawk see one as an attraction]], yet [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight nobody turns their head when one is stabbed and violently decomposes in front of their eyes]]...\\
'''NC and Spoony:''' ''It's totally okay!''\\
'''Linkara:''' Now I know! [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle And knowing]] [[SubvertedTrope makes it even more confusing.]]
-->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' (and guests), reviewing ''Film/{{Bloodrayne}}''
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->''"A Catholic vampire doing UV tanning.... No respect for traditions!"''

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->''"A [[ReligiousVampire Catholic vampire vampire]] doing UV tanning.... No respect for traditions!"''



->'''Homer:''' ...where he discovers he's a ''([[beat]])'' vampires.\\

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->'''Homer:''' ...where he discovers he's a ''([[beat]])'' ''({{beat}})'' vampires.\\
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'''Brian:''' You're, you're asking me if they've ever done a ''Series/SesameStreet'' in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance. \\

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'''Brian:''' You're, you're y-you're asking me if they've ever done a ''Series/SesameStreet'' in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance. \\
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->'''Doctor Marcus:''' [nods in agreement] That's true.\\
->'''Professor Grost:''' The girls you spoke of, they were not drained of blood, but of ''youth''. Of ''life itself''. You see, Doctor, there are as many species of vampires as there are beasts of prey. Their methods and their motive for attack can vary in a hundred different ways. [starts pacing around the room] And their means of their destruction. Ah, the traditional stake through the heart doesn't always hold good, you know? Some can only be destroyed by hanging or decapitation, or fire or water! Or by other means ([[JustShootHim pats model cannon]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill on a nearby table]])!

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->'''Doctor '''Doctor Marcus:''' [nods in agreement] That's true.\\
->'''Professor '''Professor Grost:''' The girls you spoke of, they were not drained of blood, but of ''youth''. Of ''life itself''. You see, Doctor, there are as many species of vampires as there are beasts of prey. Their methods and their motive for attack can vary in a hundred different ways. [starts pacing around the room] And their the means of their destruction. Ah, the traditional stake through the heart doesn't always hold good, you know? Some can only be destroyed by hanging or decapitation, or fire or water! Or by other means ([[JustShootHim pats model cannon]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill on a nearby table]])!
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->'''Professor Grost:''' Vampires. Doctor Marcus, it is commonly supposed that a vampire attacks in one way: by biting the neck and draining the victim of blood.\\
->'''Doctor Marcus:''' [nods in agreement] That's true.\\
->'''Professor Grost:''' The girls you spoke of, they were not drained of blood, but of ''youth''. Of ''life itself''. You see, Doctor, there are as many species of vampires as there are beasts of prey. Their methods and their motive for attack can vary in a hundred different ways. [starts pacing around the room] And their means of their destruction. Ah, the traditional stake through the heart doesn't always hold good, you know? Some can only be destroyed by hanging or decapitation, or fire or water! Or by other means ([[JustShootHim pats model cannon]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill on a nearby table]])!
-->-- ''Film/CaptainKronosVampireHunter''
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->'''Zhuzen''': Now, look. I understand vampires suck human blood. You better not chomp into our necks or anything.
->'''Keith''': Ah hah hah hah... I guess the books say all sorts of curious and silly things about us. But true vampires aren't like that. Daylight and crosses don't bother me a bit. Nor garlic. We may be "undead," but that doesn't mean we can't be killed. We're just tougher than humans.
-->-- ''VideoGame/ShadowHearts''.
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-->-- ''Gil's All Fright Diner'' by A. Lee Martinez

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-->-- ''Gil's All Fright Diner'' by A. Lee Martinez''Literature/GilsAllFrightDiner''
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->'''[[OurGhostsAreDifferent Cathy]]:''' Are you really immortal?
->'''Earl:''' [[TheAgeless I don't age]].
->'''Cathy:''' [[MissingReflection And what about mirrors]]? That's not true, is it?
->'''Earl:''' It's true.
->'''Cathy:''' Wow. So you can't see your reflection?
->'''Earl:''' I can see my clothes. I just can't see me. It's sort of like the invisible man,'cept only in mirrors.
->'''Cathy:''' Cool. Um, can I ask you something else?
->'''Earl:''' Yes, [[VampiresHateGarlic garlic bothers me]]. Yes, [[WeakenedByTheLight sunlight can kill me]]. No, crosses and holy water don't do jack shit - at least not to me. Yes, I can cross running water. No, a stake in the heart won't kill me, but it will stop me from moving around. Yes, [[OffWithHisHead having my head cut off]] or [[KillItWithFire being roasted can kill me]]. Yes, I sleep during the day. Yes, I drink blood. No, I can enter without being invited. And yes, [[CharmPerson I can mesmerize people]], though not very well. Does that cover it?
-->-- ''Gil's All Fright Diner'' by A. Lee Martinez
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->''"Well, you can still be destroyed but... Forget the books and the movies. Garlic? It's worthless. A cross? Pfft! Shove it right up their ass! Hahahaha! A stake? Only if it catches you in the heart, and then it just paralyzes you. Runnin' water? Ah, that's no problem. I bathe... eh... occasionally. Now, a shotgun blast to the head? Oh, that's trouble, boy. Fire? That's ''real'' trouble. Sunlight? Well, you catch a sunrise and it's all over, kiddo. Get it?"''
-->-- '''Smilin' Jack''', answering whether you, as a newly-embraced Kindred, will live forever, ''VideoGame/VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines''
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->In those younger years my home was [[DecadentCourt a hive of unbridled hedonism, a roiling apiary where instinct and impulse were indulged with wild abandon.]] [[VampiresAreSexGods A bewitching predator slipped in amidst the swarm of tittering sycophants.]] Though outwardly urbane, I could sense in her a [[HorrorHunger mocking thirst.]] [[ForTheEvulz Driven half-mad by cloying vulgarity, I plotted to rid myself of this lurking threat in a grand display of sadistic sport.]] But as the moment of murder drew nigh, the [[GlamourFailure gibbous moon revealed her inhuman desires in all their stultifying hideousness....]]
->Mercifully, the morbid encounter resolved itself in my favor, [[AlienBlood and I set to work pursuing degeneracy in its most decadent forms.]] [[MainliningTheMonster The air pulsed with anticipation as I revealed the unnatural terroir of the house vintage.]] But my exultation was cut short [[BodyHorror as the attending gentry turned upon themselves in an orgy of an indescribable frenzy.]] [[ThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow A single drop of that forbidden tannin gifted me with a dizzying glimpse of]] [[EldritchAbomination a hibernating horror beneath my feet, and in that moment, I understood the terrible truth of the world.]] [[StartOfDarkness I stood reborn, molted by newfound knowledge, my head throbbing to the growing]] [[BigCreepyCrawlies whine of winged vermin come to drink the tainted blood…]] of the [[TitleDrop Darkest Dungeon.]]

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->In ->''"In those younger years my home was [[DecadentCourt a hive of unbridled hedonism, a roiling apiary where instinct and impulse were indulged with wild abandon.]] [[VampiresAreSexGods A bewitching predator slipped in amidst the swarm of tittering sycophants.]] Though outwardly urbane, I could sense in her a [[HorrorHunger mocking thirst.]] [[ForTheEvulz Driven half-mad by cloying vulgarity, I plotted to rid myself of this lurking threat in a grand display of sadistic sport.]] But as the moment of murder drew nigh, the [[GlamourFailure gibbous moon revealed her inhuman desires in all their stultifying hideousness....]]
->Mercifully,
]]''
->''"Mercifully,
the morbid encounter resolved itself in my favor, [[AlienBlood and I set to work pursuing degeneracy in its most decadent forms.]] [[MainliningTheMonster The air pulsed with anticipation as I revealed the unnatural terroir of the house vintage.]] But my exultation was cut short [[BodyHorror as the attending gentry turned upon themselves in an orgy of an indescribable frenzy.]] [[ThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow A single drop of that forbidden tannin gifted me with a dizzying glimpse of]] [[EldritchAbomination a hibernating horror beneath my feet, and in that moment, I understood the terrible truth of the world.]] [[StartOfDarkness I stood reborn, molted by newfound knowledge, my head throbbing to the growing]] [[BigCreepyCrawlies whine of winged vermin come to drink the tainted blood…]] of the [[TitleDrop Darkest Dungeon.]]]]"''
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->In those younger years my home was [[DecadentCourt a hive of unbridled hedonism, a roiling apiary where instinct and impulse were indulged with wild abandon.]] [[VampiresAreSexGods A bewitching predator slipped in amidst the swarm of tittering sycophants.]] Though outwardly urbane, I could sense in her a [[HorrorHunger mocking thirst.]] [[ForTheEvulz Driven half-mad by cloying vulgarity, I plotted to rid myself of this lurking threat in a grand display of sadistic sport.]] But as the moment of murder drew nigh, the [[GlamourFailure gibbous moon revealed her inhuman desires in all their stultifying hideousness....]]
->Mercifully, the morbid encounter resolved itself in my favor, [[AlienBlood and I set to work pursuing degeneracy in its most decadent forms.]] [[MainliningTheMonster The air pulsed with anticipation as I revealed the unnatural terroir of the house vintage.]] But my exultation was cut short [[BodyHorror as the attending gentry turned upon themselves in an orgy of an indescribable frenzy.]] [[ThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow A single drop of that forbidden tannin gifted me with a dizzying glimpse of]] [[EldritchAbomination a hibernating horror beneath my feet, and in that moment, I understood the terrible truth of the world.]] [[StartOfDarkness I stood reborn, molted by newfound knowledge, my head throbbing to the growing]] [[BigCreepyCrawlies whine of winged vermin come to drink the tainted blood…]] of the [[TitleDrop Darkest Dungeon.]]
-->--'''The Ancestor''', ''Videogame/DarkestDungeon:'' ''The Crimson Court''
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->Not supernatural, no. Superhuman! Hypnotic, magnetic! [[MasterOfIllusion Creature of illusion]], in no way a magician but in every way a great [[TheTrickster trickster]]! Not a bat but ''[[StealthExpert silent]]'' [[StealthExpert as a bat]]! Not a wolf, but ''[[SuperSpeed swift]]'' [[SuperSpeed as a wolf]]! Not a flea but [[HorrorHunger a monster with a flea's appetite for blood]] - on a scale unprecedented! That's my idea of the vampire, Dragosani. Fifty miles to a creature like that? A healthy evening's walk! He would be able to compel his human shell to [[SuperStrength excesses of effort undreamed of]]...
-->--'''Ladislau Giresci,''' ''Literature/{{Necroscope}}''
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-->-- '''[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot A vampire gangster]]''', ''TopTen: The Forty-Niners''

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-->-- '''[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot A vampire gangster]]''', ''TopTen: ''ComicBook/TopTen: The Forty-Niners''
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-->-- ''Creator/JohnCarpenter's Vampires''

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-->-- ''Creator/JohnCarpenter's Vampires''
''Film/JohnCarpentersVampires''
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-->-- [[http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/gaia-community-discussion/gaia-s-lost-manga-unreleased-comics-from-the-past/t.49527459/ Gaia's Lost Manga]], ''GaiaOnline''

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-->-- [[http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/gaia-community-discussion/gaia-s-lost-manga-unreleased-comics-from-the-past/t.49527459/ Gaia's Lost Manga]], ''GaiaOnline''
''Website/GaiaOnline''

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