History Main / ToMakeALongStoryShort

* Despite saying the opposite, Polonius in ''Theatre/Hamlet}}'' proceeds to go on a long winded rant of 'advice' to his daughter Ophelia. To boot it's pretty useless and patronizing advice.

* Every ''Literature/CaptainUnderpants'' story has a chapter entitled this, usually after a character says something to the effect of "I hope this works!" followed by the chapter only having two words in it.

-->-- '''Polonius''', ''{{Hamlet}}''

** Presumably as a ShoutOut to ''Clue'', [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]] has "To make a long story short (too late)" as one of his many {{Catch Phrase}}s.

* ''{{Scrubs}}'': Kelso uses this a lot. To give one example: "I was one of the most promising young shortstops ever to come out of Altoona Pennsylvania. Then came the Dominicans. Long story short...calling them all 'Pepe' was apparently just racist enough to get me a life-long ban from the Appalachian Rookie League."
* KingdomOfLoathing: "Long story short, you have a magical evening. [[InvertedTrope Short story long]]? [[{{Doorstopper}} Anything by Dickens]]."
* The [=McSweeney=]'s article ''[[http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/12/21parang.html Stories Ending With "Long Story Short" That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration]]'' is really, really funny. To give one example:
-->"So, earlier today, I went to get some lunch at Quizno's, but on the way I ran into Emily, who was going to Burger King instead, so we thought we might as well go to lunch together ... so, long story short, two plus two doesn't equal four anymore."

* ''TheSimpsons: Hurricane Neddy'': When Ned Flanders asks Rev. Lovejoy if God is testing him, Lovejoy answers, "Short answer: yes, with an if. Long answer: no, with a but."
** And in another episode with Grandpa Simpson telling a [[ShaggyFrogStory long, pointless story]] to the rest of the family...
--->'''Grandpa''': Anyway, [[HopeSpot long story short]]... is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling...
* An episode of ''VeronicaMars'' had her friend Wallace happily taking his sweet time, now that he got to tell the story about how he weaselled information out of somebody, getting to the point. After which he summed up with, "To make a long story short..." to which she replied "Ha!"
* AnsemRetort: ''Back at FOX, we had this great idea for the next plot line. It had [[EverythingsbetterWithMonkeys monkeys]] and [[EverythingsbetterWithSamurai samurai]], crazy stuff. Long story short: big chemical spill.''
* Series/{{Buffy|the Vampire Slayer}} subverted this multiple times, usually along the lines of:
--> '''Willow''': Oz is a werewolf.
--> '''Buffy''': [[ItsALongStory It's a long story]].
--> '''Oz''': I got bit.
--> '''Buffy''': Apparently, not that long.
* Every ''CaptainUnderpants'' story has a chapter entitled this, usually after a character says something to the effect of "I hope this works!" followed by the chapter only having two words in it.
* ''NabariNoOu'':
--> '''Shijima''': Long story short, we're bound together by destiny.
--> '''Kouichi''': That's a really abridged version of the truth! It's not like that at all!
* Used with snarky commentary in VideoGame/EscapeFromMonkeyIsland.
--> '''Voodoo Lady''': To make a long story short...
--> '''Guybrush''': Too late.
* Inverted horrifically in the ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' episode "I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining": one of the other folks on the ziplining tour basically tells everyone his life story... prefacing each part with "[[BlatantLies To make a long story short...]]". For the boys, it practically becomes a MadnessMantra.

* Despite saying the opposite, Polonius in ''{{Hamlet}}'' proceeds to go on a long winded rant of 'advice' to his daughter Ophelia. To boot it's pretty useless and patronizing advice.

-->--Polonius, ''{{Hamlet}}''

* Used with snarky commentary in EscapeFromMonkeyIsland.

* Inverted horrifically in the SouthPark episode "I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining": one of the other folks on the ziplining tour basically tells everyone his life story... prefacing each part with "[[BlatantLies To make a long story short...]]". For the boys, it practically becomes a MadnessMantra.

-->''"Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief."''\\
- Polonius, ''{{Hamlet}}''

* In ''PowerRangersOperationOverdrive'', [[CloudCuckoolander Bridge]] sums up where he's been since the end of ''PowerRangersSPD'': "Oh, uh, yeah, well, long story short, our mentor who's, well, a dog, got promoted to head of SPD which was run by a bird but he retired to Miami, and Sky got promoted and I got promoted. That's why I'm the Red Ranger, [[TimeTravelTenseTrouble or will be]]."

--->'''Grandpa''': Anyway, [[HopeSpot long story short]]... is a phrase whose origins are [[ItGotWorse complicated and rambling...]]

* {{Buffy}} subverted this multiple times, usually along the lines of:

* An episode of ''VeronicaMars'' had her friend Wallace happily taking his sweet time, now that he got to tell the story about how he weaseled information out of somebody, getting to the point. After which he summed up with, "To make a long story short..." to which she replied "Ha!"

Examples:

----
<<|StockPhrases|>>

* ''RedDwarf'', "Gunmen of the Apocalypse":

<<|StockPhrases|>>

** Presumably as a ShoutOut to ''Clue'', [[AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]] has "To make a long story short (too late)" as one of his many {{Catch Phrase}}s.

* In the movie version of ''{{Clue}}'', Wadsworth repeatedly says this, with the other characters always shouting "Too late!" in unison afterwards.

* The McSweeney's article ''[[http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/12/21parang.html Stories Ending With "Long Story Short" That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration]]'' is really, really funny. To give one example:

--> '''Buffy''': It's a long story.

-->'''Wadsworth:''' ''"To make a long story short..."''\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' ''"Too late."''\\
- ''{{Clue}}''

-->''"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."''\\
- Calvin, CalvinAndHobbes

-->''"To make a long story short..."''\\
''"Too late."''\\
- Wadsworth and Colonel Mustard, ''{{Clue}}''

Contrast with ShortStoryLong.